And what else? So I’ve been coaching high-performance people and successful business owners for a very, very long time. Now I’ve done it in different realms. But one of the things I’ve learned is that people don’t give you their deepest answer first, right. And we kind of all know this, but if I were to ask you a question whether it be surface level or deep. Typically, you’re going to give me the answer that your façade or your mask is going to put out. Now you don’t do this consciously usually or maybe you do sometimes in networking type situations. But most people just give their initial answer. So a coaching tip you can use, right you can use this with your family, your friends, your loved ones, your employees etc. Is asking the question what else?
So for example, I was actually asked to come into a coaching session where I was with a business owner and his star employee. Basically, an employee at a level that he was brought into as a partner for his business. And he wanted me to come into that meeting just because I have a tendency, I’ve done this for a long time, to coach the two of them to make sure they’re on the same page and if there was anything that I saw for insights that I could bring to the table.
Now what I did is I simply asked what else? That was the biggest question. So when asking this employee, who is now becoming a partner. I said, “Hey, is there anything that you want to bring up in this conversation that hasn’t been spoken about?” Simple question, right? And so what he said is he brought up one point. He said, “The only thing I have to say here is I have one question regarding when we can review this. And that’s it that’s the only thing I want to know.” So that question was answered. It was a 90-day review. And then he looked fine like everything was done. And the business owner said, “Great, we’re done here.” I said, “No actually what else?” And then the employee looked and said, “Well actually there’s another thing, you know that I hadn’t talked about that was really important.” And this ended up being a very important topic that if they hadn’t had an agreement on this, could have actually ruined this relationship that they’ve had for many years.
And then I asked what else? And I repeated this process about six or seven times til finally the person looked at me and said, “I don’t think there is anything else, that’s it.” I said, “Great, fantastic I’m glad we got to the bottom of that.” Now the business owner chuckled a little bit because he knew exactly what I was doing because I’ve been training him for the last six months to be able to do this. Now I was training him to do it, not only with his employees and staff but also in his marriage. You see a lot of business owners and a lot of people, relationships are really tough or can be. So he was having a problem in his marriage. So I asked him, I said, “Hey look, here’s one thing that you can do. Just try this on, you know I realize I’m not a marriage counselor by any means. But I’ve done a lot of training, mostly to fix my own issues. But then to carry it on with my clients.”
I said, “Simply ask your wife in conversations what else?” He said, “Doug you know that’s going to be so obvious. She’s going to see right through that.” I said, “Well if you’re doing it with a good intention. A good intention of really wanting to know the depths of her. Just try it and it won’t be a big deal. If she sees it, just tell her you’re doing it because you want to know more because that’s the truth.” And so he had been trying it. He came back to me just amazed. And said, “Wow, she’s opened up. It really has brought us so much closer and it has really connected the two of us.” And just a simple question. And yeah, guess what? Neither the employee or his spouse knew that he was doing this.
It’s a simple technique and it’s not manipulative. You’re actually using it to bring out more in someone, to give them the space to communicate. It’s critical. So I invite you to try this and I want to hear your results. So many of you email me or find me on social media and shoot me messages and let me know what’s going on with you. And I thank you so much. I love hearing from you. I do these daily growth hacks for free just to give back, to help you on your journey. Just like somebody helped me in my past.
So I’d love to hear from you and how does this work for you? What do you experience? We have a free community on Facebook. It’s the Author of Your Own Story community. Of course, for those of you in the Author of Your Own Story University, you are very adaptable to this process. But if you’re curious about the Author of Your Own Story University and want to dive deeper into conversations like this with experts all over the world. Go over to authorofyourownstory.com and just click on university to find out more information. It’s an amazing program, I’m very proud of it.
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