Today I’m gonna tell you a little story about a client of mine. Now, this client is very successful again, and I say again because they were successful many years ago. But the reason I’m telling you this story is because his birthday is actually today. We were talking yesterday about his birthday and what it means to him. What he let me know is a year ago he was a full on drug addict.
It started off many years ago with an addiction to painkillers. Now, this is an epidemic sweeping the world, but especially the United States. His addiction to painkillers also ran into other things like heavy use of cocaine, alcohol, pot, as well as other drugs. He became known as the life of the party during this period. Now, don’t get me wrong, before he was addicted to painkillers, from what he tells me, he was the life of the party. He was a business owner, extremely successful, and had a great relationship.
Everybody from the outside looking in thought this guy had it all, but the truth was … the truth was he was actually trying to commit suicide several times. He wasn’t living the life of his dreams. Each birthday he would throw, people would come for the party. He was the life of the party, and on his birthday they would give him drugs. They would give him drugs to help celebrate. They knew that’s what he liked, and they knew that’s what filled him up at that time. Now, of course, he was chasing sedation at that moment.
Fast forward to today, he’s been sober for a year, and now he’s scared. He said, “Doug, I’m scared. My birthday’s coming, people are texting me, they want to know where the party is, and I’m scared that they’re going to bring me drugs. I’m scared that I’m going to get back into the old lifestyle. I’m scared that they have the old identity of me. I’m scared that I’ll relapse. I’m scared that my identity won’t be there. You see, Doug, I haven’t done this, I haven’t done that. I haven’t done all the things you’ve told me to do. You know, you give me these coaching assignments each week, and I haven’t kept up with all of them. I’m just not a successful, I’m a failure, and I’m afraid I’ll go back.”
So what I told him is what I’m gonna tell you, and if you’ve listened to this podcast, if you go back to boxing gloves, which we had earlier, it’s a very similar story. You see, he was reflecting back on his old life, and while he was reflecting back he was taking all the baggage that he had from the past and bringing it with him and just piling it on, and now he was scared.
He was scared because he was remembering the old him, the old person he was. He was scared because he was beating himself up. He was thinking about all the things he did not have. He knew, his eyes were open now. We’d been coaching for two months at this point, and his eyes had opened to what’s possible. His life had become much more glorious than he ever knew. He didn’t realize what happiness really was, and now he was experiencing it. Now that he was experiencing it, and now he’s in his 40s he was like, “All the years I’ve missed. People thought I had it all, but I really didn’t, and you opened my eyes.”
It wasn’t me, I’m just your mirror. I’m just reflecting what other people do, that’s my job. What I told him was, “Hey, why don’t you take your birthday and take some time to reflect on all the great things you’ve done? Yeah, you had that past. That past made you the man you are today, the person you are today. Be grateful. Be grateful for all things that you have. Be grateful that you’re repairing relationships that you’ve burnt. Be grateful that you’re sober now and you can actually see. Be grateful that you’re building a life with your children, a life that you didn’t have previously. Be grateful that you’re building a business of your dreams. Not just a business that brings you money, but a business that brings you success. Take this time on your birthday to reflect and be grateful. Stop beating yourself up.”
Now, the words I used weren’t like that. I told him, “Hey, you have two choices. It’s your birthday. You can either go someplace quiet, go with your girl. Take some time, reflect, be positive, be grateful. Think of all the successes you’ve had over just the couple of months we’ve been working together. You’ve grown so much.”
If you’re listening to this podcast or watching this on a video, think of yourself. You’re in a growth state. Be grateful. Be proud of yourself. You deserve a pat on the back.
“Option two is to go into the corner and just kick yourself in the nuts,” is what I told him, “or beat yourself up, or use boxing gloves, whatever you want to do. You have two choices, you can beat yourself up for the things that you don’t have, or you can be grateful for the abundance in the things that you do have. The choice is completely yours, but I can tell you the walk is completely different as well. Those that walk in a spirit of gratefulness and abundance and thankful for all they have and those around them, they actually are the ones that I see succeed and the ones that I advance.”
So today on his birthday, I’m gonna ask you, listening to this or watching this, whatever you’re doing, take a moment today and journal about all the things you’re grateful for, all the successes. If you’re sitting there going, “Geez Doug, I don’t have anything to be grateful for,” well I’m grateful that you’re here spending time with me. I’m grateful that you’re taking time out of your day to be a better human being because you being a better human being is gonna make the world a better place. By making the world a better place, this is gonna be a better world for my son to grow up in, and for that I thank you.
That’s it for me today. I look forward to talking to you tomorrow. As you know, we will be giving you a tip each day, but go to authorofyourownstory.com, where you can join our community, talk to other people, listeners, as well and answer questions, but also get deeper dives where you can dive deeper into these subjects, as well as taking our free seven-day course on how to be the author of your own story.
Make it a great day.
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