Now, I just got off the mountain, and that’s why I’m a little disheveled if you’re watching this, but if you’re listening to this, just imagine me looking perfect, and that’ll work great. I got off the phone call with a friend of mine. The friend of mine is a coach, and he coaches individuals at all kinds of levels, and what I mean by that is th coaches individuals just starting out on their journey to becoming the author of their own story, although he calls it something different, all the way up to people that are high-level executives.
When I was talking to him, he said, “Doug, one of the things that I really notice, and I notice this each time I go to speak at a school,” and he’s a speaker, “whether it be a high school, a college, or speaking at a corporate event, when I meet somebody, when I meet an individual and hear their story, I can tell right away who their five closest friends are. That’s right. So if they are in out of jail, I can know for a fact that their five closest friends are in and out of jail. They’re probably gang bangers. They’re probably drug dealers. They’re probably doing something that’s causing them to go through this cycle. At the same time,” he said, “if I meet somebody who is a fortune 200 CEO, I can tell you their five closest friends are most likely also CEOs or also equally successful in whatever field they are, and it goes across the board.”
We’ve talked about this in the Daily Growth Hacks previously. In fact, just recently, we had one called Community. If you haven’t had a chance to listen to that, go back. It’s only a couple episodes past, and then previously, we talked about birds of a feather block together. This conversation keeps coming up, and I see this pattern, as well. When I look around in my own life at my five closest friends, there are reasons that I’ve kept in touch with them, but I also have friends that I’ve been pulling in from all different demographics. As I grow and up-level both as a business person, but also as a high-level coach, I am also surrounding myself with people that are just a step ahead of me. This isn’t always strategically, but sometimes it is.
Sometimes, you just fall into meeting somebody and you have a conversation, and that conversation just clicks and you become friends or it could be a client of yours you’ve become a friend with or you can actually search them out. You have all these opportunities, but I know it for a fact that if you look at the five closest people to you, I can tell you exactly where you are today. That doesn’t mean I’m going to tell you where you’re going to be tomorrow, but that’s a good guess. I can pretty much predict your future based on those people you’re having the most conversations with.
If you are in some kind of a situation where you just don’t have a lot of friends or you’re just going, you realize that your peer group isn’t holding up to standards for you and you’re up-leveling and so you’re trying to stay away from them. Maybe your friends are just average. Maybe they’re just nine-to-fivers and happy hour at 5:00 to 7:00, and go to bed and do it again, and they just don’t care. Maybe you’re listening to this Daily Growth Hack because you want to be in front of somebody else that’s playing at a higher level. I totally get it. I listen to podcasts, audiobooks for the exact same reason. When I can’t reach out to somebody that’s in my peer group or somebody that’s playing at a high level, I utilize things like this, podcasts, audiobooks, as well as just reaching out to clients or somebody playing at a different level just so I can surround myself in that community.
Also, go to AuthorOfYourOwnStory.com and click the community button. It’s going to send you to our private Facebook, and that’s where you can have conversations with people who are on a similar journey as you. Yeah, it’s going to be different. They’re on a different path. They have different paths, pasts, as well as different trajectories for their future, but they’re having this conversation. If you’re listening to this right now, you are one of those people, and you need to surround yourself with as many as those kinds of people as possible.
Look, if you’re an accountant, chances are, you’re hanging out with other accountants or other people at that same financial level and educational level. If you’re working at Starbucks, chances are, you’re hanging out with other baristas. My guess is you’re hanging out with people in the same class. I don’t mean financial class or social class, but class in the sense that you’re having the same conversations. They’re on the same trajectory as you.
If you want to change your trajectory, if I can’t say that right now … If you want to change that trajectory, you need to actually up-level the people that you’re hanging out with, and that goes for me, too. Again, what you can do is if you don’t have people around you that you know, mentors that you can ask to have advice or to have conversations with, join communities like Author of Your Own Story, target people on LinkedIn. Shoot me an email. I’ll see if I can connect you and help you out in any way. I’m happy to do it. I’m on a mission to help one million people at least, over one million people I should say, better their lives in becoming the authors of their own story, so I’m happy to help as much as I possibly can.
Either way, what I want you to do is grab your journal, write up who are your five closest friends, who are they, and why. Do you have a history with them? Totally great, but who are the five people you have the most conversations with and what are they up to in life? What is their level? What playing field are they on? If they’re not on the same playing field where you want to get, share this with them, let them know, “Hey, I love you, but also I’m up-leveling and I want you to up-level, too,” and they’ll get this conversation. Bring them into these Daily Growth Hacks so you can up-level together, but also, if they’re not, they’re not interested in up-leveling, that’s fine, too.
Don’t discard them. I don’t recommend that at all. I love people of all walks. I have great friends that are just not going anywhere, frankly, and they don’t even listen to these Daily Growth Hacks, but I still love them. I love them for who they are, but what are the five people I’m having the most conversations with, and then, if I look around, in that playing field, when you’re writing this in your journal, isn’t where you want to be, who can you reach out to and start having conversations? Take them to coffee, take them to lunch. If they’re virtual, buy them a gift or ask for their time or pay for their time. These are things that you do. These are investments into your own legacy. These are investments to your own story. Join something like Author of Your Own Story University where people are investing financially and time-wise, investing in education. These are the people that you want to be around, and this is how you become the author of your own story.
That’s it for me today. I’m very passionate about this subject since I got the phone call, but I’d love to hear your results and what you think about this. Shoot me an email. Let me know, or go over to the AuthorofYourOwnStory.com community, and I’d love to hear your feedback. Have a great day and, remember, go out and be the author of your own story.
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