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Are you here just because you’re lonely?

This is your daily growth hack where I give you a tip, trick, or daily insight to help you better yourself and become the Author of Your Own Story.

So, I was talking to a client today and they were telling me why they were doing something and I don’t want to give their name out because they’re actually pretty well known. So what they were doing is they were repeating the same process going to the same place over and over and over again but we’re really just depressed.

So what I ended up asking them was “hey, are you doing this just because you’re lonely?” Typically as a coach, I don’t ask that question right out but I had a lot of rapport with this client and have been working with them for a while now. The answer came up with “crap I think I do.”

So I’m going to give them an exercise and a very simple exercise that I’m going to ask you to do. This exercise has a couple parts. First part is set an alarm on your phone for five times throughout the day. Now if you have a typical work day, so let’s say eight hours or so, what you want you to do is put that increments throughout that time period. Then what I want you to put is “Am i avoiding something?” Then what I want you do is when that alarm goes off, just very calmly turn the alarm off walk down to the bathroom, set your phone down, stare in the mirror and ask yourself five times the same question. “Am i avoiding something or am I here because I want to be?” “Am i avoiding something or am I here because I want to be?”

After about the fifth time you’ll start to peel back the layers of your life and actually see what’s really going on.

Now, for this individual what they found out is they were actually doing the same thing over and over again because really they were lonely and bored. What this was really doing was hurting them. It was holding them back from living their true destiny in the true life and it was really sad. This person is extremely dynamic and they haven’t quite hit their goals in their life and haven’t quite hit their stride because they were doing something to avoid the important and avoid being lonely.

Now fast-forward through this exercise and I’ve seen many clients who’ve done that just over a course of a week, push back and stop doing things because they were lonely although painful to recognize and then started doing things because they wanted to. They were able to push through those barriers and actually achieve far greater and find out that love was within themselves. 

So I ask you this question –  are you doing things to avoid the important? Or are you doing things because you’re lonely? Or are you doing them because you actually enjoy them?

So I encourage you today to set an alarm on your phone five times and ask the question while looking into your own eyes in the mirror. That’s the hard part because when you look in your own eyes it’s hard to hide.  You know they say the eyes are the windows to the soul and that’s so true, but especially with your own eyes. It’s very hard to lie to yourself.

So, go ahead and look in the mirror and ask yourself that same question five times. I encourage you to do this for a week. If you’re at a job, go ahead and do it and apply it to the job you’re at. You may find out that you’re at a dead-end job and you’re really there just for security. Maybe you actually love it. Maybe it’s your passion. Maybe you’ve been complaining about this job for no reason at all.

That’s the key is to find out what the truth is for you.

That’s it for me today, make sure you go over to and sign up for our daily tips and tricks and get them delivered right to your mailbox!

Have a great day and I’ll see you tomorrow!

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