As many of you know, I coach business owners. I help coach business owners to bridge the gap before where they were to where they want to be. I help them get unstuck. It probably should be no surprise to you that many of my clients are actually coaches themselves. You see, to be a great coach, you should have a coach or mentor that’s on your side.
Well, one of my clients is a very well-known business coach. In talking with him, he just started our six-month program and I’m working with him. What I found out was he was one-dimensional. You see, he was so focused on business and how to run and scale a business, and he’s good at it. He’s a great business coach, but he had neglected his family and his wife was leaving him and taking their children on the ride. What he was finding himself is he was 40 pounds overweight, not in good health. He didn’t have a good relationship with himself or with his wife, or with his children. Sure, he could grow a business and he’s fantastic at it, but along his journey, he neglected all the other dimensions of life. He was like a flat piece of paper, like a little drawing that you can draw in a stick figure, one-dimensional. He forgot the other dimensions of life.
That’s why we use the five to thrive. You see, I had been stuck in that too. At times in my life, I’ve been very focused on my fitness, other times, very focused on relationships, and of course, I’ve also been the atypical business owner where I’ve been very hyper-focused on business and business growth and development in my early 20s. That’s why I wanted balance. You hear people talking about balance all the time. You need balance here, you need a balance there. Why I came up with the five to thrive because I found that worked for me and that allowed me to go to the next level of my journey.
When I looked at his five to thrive and I ask him and I’ll ask you, where are you on a scale of one to 10 in all five areas, when I asked him about his mind, he said, “Probably a six because I haven’t done anything but read business books for the last decade and a half.” He’d been a business coach for over 15 years. I said, “Where are you with your body?” He goes, “A two. You know, honestly, I can’t walk up the stairs without breathing, Doug, without breathing hard. It’s really tough. I don’t really play with my kids. I just sit down and when I get home, I have a cup of cocktails and then maybe I’ll watch TV. Maybe my wife will join me. Maybe she won’t or just watch something that I like.”
“Okay, what about soul? What’s your connection to yourself and to your higher spirit, whatever you think soul might mean for you?” That’s where he gave himself a one. He didn’t know how to love himself, and most of us are never taught that, but he didn’t even know how to connect to himself, how to connect to his spirituality or spirit. Then, I asked about relationships and that’s when I saw the tears in his eyes. He said, “Doug, my wife’s leaving me and she’s taking our children with her. I thought I was being a good husband by being a good provider, but apparently, that’s not enough and so I’d give myself a one, a one on that level. I’m just not good enough.”
Then, I asked him business. This guy, if I mentioned his name, you would know who he is. He’s a really well-known business coach and so when I asked him, “Hey, how are you doing on the level of business?” now, I expected to hear eight, nine, probably even a 10 and what he told me was a six. He said, “Everybody thinks that I’m very successful and yes, I can help others be successful, but I’m not successful myself. I’m stuck and I’m spinning my wheels, which is something I hear all the time from business owners and I’m just not moving forward. When I work with somebody else’s business, it’s much more clarity, but my own, I’m kind of lost.”
Then, I asked him a couple other questions. We delved deeper into different levels of each of those categories. We found that he was a one-dimensional person. He was so focused on business and business growth. That’s all he poured himself into and when times got tough in his relationship or when times got tough with his health and his wellness, he turned to what he thought he knew the most, which was business. Now, for you, it may not be business but I want to caution you, are you focused on relationships? Are you focused on being codependent with another person in a relationship? Oftentimes, when things are going wrong in our life, we might focus on somebody else rather than ourselves and rather than our five to thrive.
Are you focused on your fitness? Yes, I know many of you out there. I’ve had a fitness background. I’d been in the industry for over 20 years and I know a lot of people who turn to fitness as something they can control. It’s something they know they can do, they can control and that allows them some stability in their life, but they miss the other avenues. They miss the other dimensions. They miss relationships. They miss business. If they’re in business, they miss spirituality.
I ask you, grab your journal. Write out your five to thrive. I’ve asked you this before but where are you in each category on a scale of one to 10, one being horrible, 10 being top of the world? Now, I’d love you to be at an eight, nine and 10 consistently. If you’re having problems in those areas, and I mean, problems bridging the gap from where you are today to where you want to be, reach out. I want to help you. I’d love to help you.
Now, go to the Author of Your Own Story community. That’s a great place to connect with like-minded people. Right there, you can actually have conversations and get more information, so you’re consistently in a conversation about growth and development as you go on your journey. We’re all at different places. Not all of us can have coaches and mentors. That’s why we have a free community just for you. This is your chance to reach out to other people, to get more teachings not only from me but from other coaches and other experts, other voices, other opinions.
Just like that song that keeps playing in your head, we want a song of positivity, but also a song of growth and reality. Sometimes, you’d have to be really raw with yourself in order to take that next jump, so make sure you get in that community, and of course, go over to authorofyourownstory.com and get on that email list. Very simple to do, but that way, you get the tips, tricks, and insights delivered right to your inbox where you can check them each and every day.
Then, I’m going to ask you to share this with three people. The reason I ask you to do this is that I want you to build your tribe. I want you to build those people around you who are going to have your back when times get tough but also keep you going on your journey. That’s it for me today. I will talk to you tomorrow. Have a fantastic day and go out and inspire someone simply by being yourself and being the author of your own story.
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