Now what I’m talking about when I say “embrace the suck”, is really that any change, any growth happens on the other end of adversity. You don’t expand and grow unless you’re challenging yourself, pushing yourself, or just doing something different. So, when you think about embrace the suck, what you’re really thinking about is, “How can I be better? How can I take a situation that currently sucks, or are just not enjoying it, or maybe it’s just a little bit difficult. And how do I take that situation and push a little bit further?”
Now this is just a mindset change. This happens often in relationships, at least that’s where I use it. When I encounter a difficult person or somebody who I think just sucks, what I do is I think, “Geez, thank you to them for being here in front of me because this is an opportunity for me to grow as a person.” Now I can take this adverse relationship, the person could be angry, upset, rude, whatever it is, and find out more about him. Find out ways that I can be better to flip the script, to make the story end differently. To make the story end the way I want it to end. Now this doesn’t happen every time, but I will tell you, about 90% of the time, I’m able to turn that person, or at least turn the situation around to benefit me. Not in a manipulative way, when I say “benefit me”, it benefits me in the sense that I get to grow. I get to learn.
For example, if someone’s angry, or upset, I get to find out what it is they’re upset about, really listen to them, which is tough at the time right? Because you’re triggered, you’ll get upset if they’re upset at you or the situation you don’t agree with. But when you stop and think, “Gosh, thank this person for being here in front of me.” Then take the time to listen to them and figure out what’s really going on. What you’re going to find is they’re going to calm down. Because all they really wanted to do is be heard, most likely, and then you can look at their situation and now that you’ve built rapport, and if you aren’t familiar with rapport, go back to a previous Growth Hack and look that up. But now you’re at rapport with them, now you can have a conversation. A conversation on an equal playing field and really get to know their point of view, but even more importantly, allow them to get to know yours and possibly change their paradigm. Because they may be in an emotional response, and they also might not be as emotionally fit as you are.
Because all they really wanted to do is be heard, most likely, and then you can look at their situation and now that you’ve built rapport, and if you aren’t familiar with rapport, go back to a previous Growth Hack and look that up. But now you’re at rapport with them, now you can have a conversation. A conversation on an equal playing field and really get to know their point of view, but even more importantly, allow them to get to know yours and possibly change their paradigm. Because they may be in an emotional response, and they also might not be as emotionally fit as you are.
Now also in other relationships, people can trigger you, they can upset you, this is just a great chance to say, “Ugh, thank you for allowing this person to be in front of me, because now I’m really practicing restraint, you know, so I don’t hit this person.” As I get older I find that more and more. Just really restraining myself and just coming back to more of a zen focus. The more I do that, it builds my muscle. It builds my muscle just as if I was working out, and allows me to be a better person.
Now I can also apply this to my body, of course, embrace the suck. Almost any workout I do. I’m going to challenge and push myself. Your muscles grow bigger by applying more force, impose demands. They have the SAID principle in physiology. It’s Specific Adaptation to Imposed Demands. Now, this is an exercise physiology principle, basically says, “Embrace the suck! Look, you have to push harder in order to grow, in order to improve.”
Now, also in your spirituality. If you’re like me, meditation’s been difficult in the past. That’s why I took a 10-day, no talking silent meditation. That really pushed it. That flexed my muscles. I was going from only being able to meditate for 10 minutes at a time, to meditate all day. Now that really was an extreme example, but it’s a way that you can do it. Now you can do this with your mind too just by simply reading. For some of you I’ve talked to, like, “Hey Doug, I don’t like to read. I like audio books.” I love that, I do too. But by reading, if I’ve only read a page at night before my eyes get tired, if I keep doing that, eventually it’s two pages, three pages, then it’s a chapter. Then I’m able to really fully expand myself and read as much as I want or read until I just don’t feel the desire. It’s not really a mental or a muscle issue.
This also happens with relationships, like I just told you, but really where I see this happening the most with my clients, is in their business. You know, you can embrace the suck in your business. Businesses have ebbs and flows, we know that. If you’re a business owner, you really know that. But if you’re also an entrepreneur or somebody who’s working within a business, this is your chance to embrace the suck as well and really grow.
If something’s happening where you’re working or in your own business that you’re not loving, what I want you to do is go into it, dive a little deeper, dive deeper with the flow though. Embrace it. Now, this is kind of what Bruce Lee talks about as “Being in flow with water.” Being in flow with it rather than resisting. The more you resist, the more you fight it, the harder it becomes and the more it’s going to push back against you.My tip for you today is where in your Five to Thrive, now I want you to write this down, grab your journals, write it down, your Five to Thrive, where are you fighting versus embracing the suck.
Now once you’ve identified those areas you’re fighting, I want you to consciously just release, surrender into it. And I want to know how it feels for you. I want to know how each of these sections, once you truly surrender, what happens. My guess is you’re going to see expansion in all areas, but I want to know. Shoot me an email, or go over the Author of Your Own Story community group and send a message. Let everybody else know. You are inspiring more people than you know, and I appreciate it.
My tip for you today is where in your Five to Thrive, now I want you to write this down, grab your journals, write it down, your Five to Thrive, where are you fighting versus embracing the suck. Now once you’ve identified those areas you’re fighting, I want you to consciously just release, surrender into it.
And I want to know how it feels for you. I want to know how each of these sections, once you truly surrender, what happens. My guess is you’re going to see expansion in all areas, but I want to know. Shoot me an email, or go over the Author of Your Own Story community group and send a message. Let everybody else know. You are inspiring more people than you know, and I appreciate it.
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