Today’s question is actually a reader’s question and it comes up when we talk about the six human needs. What the reader is asking is, “Doug, I have my list of the needs that I’m currently in,” and remember, that’s certainty, uncertainty, love and connections, significance, growth, and contribution. They have their list and they did the exercise. First of all, kudos to you. I love it when people do the work. It pumps me up. They also want to know, “Hey, look, I have my other list, right? “The list of where I want to be.” For them, in particular, it was significance that was number one, but they wanted to be in a state of love and connection more. Awesome. How do I do it? That’s the question.
I’m going to give you a couple of tips. What I want you to write down are all the ways, so go back in your journal and if you haven’t done this yet, go back to the daily growth hack. It’s about four or five daily growth hacks ago. We talk about the six human needs. Look at your list, right? First, you should have your list of your six human needs as they are today or as they were when you listened to it the first time. If this is your first time listening to it, as they are today. Then your six human needs the way you want them to be, the order, the hierarchy, that you want to actually live your life as the author of your own story.
Then what I want you to do is write down all the ways you experience those, right? What are all the ways you experience certainty? For me, the big thing with certainty was I was always the guy that got the work done. If there was a job, no matter what it was, I’d stay up all night, I’d stay up, do a whole weekend. Didn’t matter to me, I’d get it done and I also was always the guy that could pull himself by his own bootstraps. I was the guy who could figure it out himself. I was the guy that can move a whole house or furniture by himself. The whole thing. Those are ways that I got significance in my life or that-a-boys for education. Whatever it may be. I would write those down.
Now, I would also write those down, all those areas. Love and connection for you. If that was yours and for the person that sent this question in, that is yours. For love and connection, we want to just write down all the ways you experience love and connection. For me, for example, if I try to shift love and connection higher up on my list. One of the ways was being outdoors. It was being in nature and that was a big one for me that allowed me to experience self-love and connection with spirit, so to speak, for me. Once you have those lists, you’ve done all six human needs and how you experience all six of those. Then what we want to do is reorder your list the way that you want to experience them. Again, for me, significance was high. I wanted that to actually be at the bottom and I wanted love and connection to be towards the top.
Then what I did, is I started doing those things or putting myself in situations where I would experience more love and connection. I started going out in nature more. I started making more time. I started putting my work down, turning the laptop off, or the cell phone off, and going out in nature. I started also scheduling business meetings on hikes. Now, this sounds really weird to a lot of people and to a lot of people I reached out to, at first they were kind of like, “Okay. Yeah, let’s just go for a hike.” They loved it. Not only did I get love and connection by being out in nature, but I was actually able to connect with business associates and business partners on a higher level. I actually really got to know them. I took both of us out of our elements, taking off the business clothes, taking off the fake facades, and getting out into nature. That served me so much better.
Contribution, the same thing. I was a rotary club member. I worked with a lot of philanthropic organizations. Also, donating items. When I say, “Donating,” I was donating my services, my time, and the products our companies put out to help nonprofits make money. I started putting myself in bigger positions to do that as well and that helped me with contribution. Same with growth. I started putting myself in these situations that allowed me to experience these feelings more often. Now, as I did that, as I put myself into those situations, I also tried to avoid or limit … I shouldn’t say, “Avoid,” but limit those situations where I had the human needs that I did not want to experience most, right? For me, I wasn’t really interested in certainty and that wasn’t that big of a deal for me, but there were certain areas, like relationships where it comes up and you get those triggers.
I try to reframe those. Significance, I reframed the way that I was feeling about those as well. If I got significance from getting all these certifications, I would change those and make those love and connection type activities where I actually really would get love and connection. How would I do that? Well, I might decide to sign up for a certification course because it would better my business and I might invite five or six friends or colleagues to do it with me and really focus on that connection time with them. This really allowed me to reorganize this hierarchy of needs and live into the author of my own story because it’s my combination and the way that I want to live my life. Then it becomes second nature, right? You’re starting to do this all the time. It’s a daily habit.
It’s just like listening to these Daily Growth Hacks and then doing the work on a daily basis, as well as, sharing them. Those are three things you just do every day. It becomes second nature. It becomes a habit. It becomes who you are. This is the … Not the first step, this is a major step to being the author of your own story. It’s like my brother once told me about business, “Business is not about hitting home runs, it’s about hitting singles, and singles consistently.” If you can hit singles consistently, you put all your guys around the base, a baseball analogy, and you get them all onto the base, and you win the game. The guy that’s swinging at the home for a home fences, which is most young entrepreneurs, you’re striking out left and right.
There’s nothing wrong with striking out, but the singles consistently, I’ve seen time and time again with the successful people that I have coached and work with on a one-on-one basis, as well as, successful people that I just know, and from my own personal experiences, are really the ways to get up to the next level in becoming the author of your own story and really growing, up-leveling as we say. I hope that answers your question. Get your two lists, right? If you haven’t done this before, your six human needs, go back and listen to that previous episode and I’ll have Billy put it right here for you. Thanks, Billy. Then … If you’re watching this, and then go ahead, and then also reorder those lists, and then how you experience them. What is everything that allows you to experience that, right? If it’s uncertainty, maybe it’s skydiving.
If it’s uncertainty, maybe it’s just going to a new restaurant. Everybody’s different. How are you experiencing those? Then put yourself in positions where you’re experiencing those top four, especially the top three on a regular basis, a daily basis. Go out of your way and make a point of it. That is how you become the author of your own story. Remember, another way, build your tribe. You need to be having conversations with people at a higher order. You need to grow with other people. These people will be your accountability partners. This will also give you more love and connection when you’re actually sharing this message with other people, and what this message means to you, right? Because it’s not about just what I’m saying. These are tips and tricks that I’ve gotten over the years and I’ve invested tons of money and tons of time, but I want you to be able to share this and then share what it means to you and that allows you to grow as well. That’s it for me today. Remember, go out today and be the author of your own story.
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