I want to let you know that nobody is coming to save you. There is no Superman unless that Superman lives inside of you. We all go through challenges and struggles, but you gotta understand, you can’t play the victim role.
Just recently I was privy to a barrage of text messages coming through, and somehow I was copied on them. Through all these text messages, was a barrage of just victim hood. It was a woman complaining. You see, what happened was her baby’s father had left her. They had actually broken up four years ago. During that time, she is still lamenting about the breakup. Now, her beautiful son, I had a chance to spend time with him. He’s just an amazing being. But of course, he got back home and was excited to share with his mother his awesome adventures in the mountains, and all the things that were going on great.
All she could focus on was what he was doing, and how she was left out. Now, mind you this is a breakup four years ago, yet she’s still doing that. The result was her son crying. Her son bawling because here it was, her mom was hurting, and her mom … Instead of enjoying and embracing his laughter, his fun, and this young child’s joy of the world focused on her own pain. Her own loss, and her own victim hood. This is such a shame, and it made me extremely upset as you could probably imagine.
It also made me think, “How often are people going through on a day to day basis, walking around like a victim?” I see this, I just got back from the gym. I see this in people walking around, and they’re upset that somebody else is using their equipment, and it’s really the small things, right? There’s also the big things in life. How often do you blame your parents for your past? Or your boss, or your co-workers? Are you blaming a spouse, a loved one, a friend, for something that’s not happening for you? Are you not at your mental capacity because teachers didn’t teach you, or you weren’t given the educational opportunities that you felt you deserved? Maybe it’s not your fault that you’re overweight, or you’re not strong enough, or you’re not athletic because of genetics, or something else going on. Or those other guys, they’re just cheaters.
Maybe it’s in your soul. Maybe you were … Had something bad happen to you, and you just can’t embrace God, or the spirit, or universe, or whatever you want to call it. It’s just not for you. Maybe it’s in your relationships. Maybe it’s the other person’s fault. Maybe someone broke your heart, they left you. Maybe someone passed away and you just can’t move on, and so you just focus on the victim hood over, and over again. We all see this. Social media, you see it, where most people are showing the best parts of their lives, the are’s others out there, right? There’s others out there showing the worst parts. They’re lamenting over a lost love of some sort.
Where in your business? Is your business not good enough ’cause your employees don’t work as hard as you are? Is your business not good enough because people don’t get your idea? Or are you an employee that’s waiting for that next strike? Your boss isn’t paying you enough, so it’s not your fault that you don’t work as hard.
Wherever it is, we all do this, and we all go through this in some way, shape, or form. Some are bigger than others. If you’re listening to this, I’m going to let you know that it’s really important to identify these ways, right? What I want you to do is grab your journal. Take out your five to thrive. That’s your mind, your body, your soul, your relationships, and your business. This is time for you to do the work, get real, and get raw.
Where are you blaming somebody else? Where in your body, are you where you want to be? If you’re not where you want to be, are you actually subconsciously or consciously blaming someone else, or some other factor about that? What about your mind? Are you blaming someone else because you can’t do something, or maybe you’re not smart enough, or whatever your excuse is. Are you … Who are you blaming? Who is it you’re really doing? I recommend asking yourself five times. Now, this is nothing to do with the five to thrive, but ask yourself five times. What happens often is you come up with a deeper answer. What does that look like? “Am I blaming somebody for not being where I want to be in my body?” Then you write the answer down.
Then you ask yourself again, “Am I blaming someone for not being where I want to be in my body?” Hmm, new answer comes up, you write that down. You do that at least five times. Usually by the fifth time you’re going to find something that’s actually going to be raw. Something that’s going to be a little bit more real. How you can tell this often times is a little water gets in the eyes, you know? The sprinkler system starts to turn on. You actually start to feel and embody the truth and the reality of that.
Now if you’re a business owner, and all my clients that I coach are business owners, this is where you get to get raw in all your areas. The holistic aspect, but also your business. Often times business owners aren’t where they want to be, because something else. Somebody else, so I really want you to get where you are. If you’re not a business owner, even if you’re a student, why aren’t you where you want to be, right? Are you subconsciously blaming someone else?
When we subconsciously blame and play the victim role, we take control out of our hands. When you don’t have control, you can’t be the author of your own story. Now, I’m not talking about being a control freak, but I’m talking about being … Having control over your destiny. Having that feeling of hope. If you don’t have that, even subconsciously, you’re blaming somebody else, it’s holding you back. You’re allowing yourself to play small.
What I want you to do, is do the work. Grab your journal, write out your five to thrive, and ask yourself that question five times. “Where in my …” whatever your five to thrive, fill it in. Mind, body, could, relationship, business, “Am I playing the victim role and blaming somebody else?” Even at my level, I find that I do this often. I blame other people. “Oh my friends, they always want to go out and get beer. That’s how they want to hangout.” It’s a small level, but really my passing off judgment, am I passing off the blame, am I passing off the excuse for not being as lean as I used to be, as I’d like to be? Absolutely. I’m totally passing that off, and that’s not fair to them, and it’s certainly not fair to me.
If I’m doing this, I’m guessing you are too. All my clients are doing this, so it’s a human nature thing, and something we always want to check into. First, do the work. Always do the work. You have this opportunity, take it now. Second, invite three people to join you. Pick three people right now, first three that come to your head. Who are they? Who are the first three people in your business that come to mind? Those are the people I want you to focus on with this one. Also relationships. Build your tribe. Build the people coming. All you have to do is share this video or this audio with them, and tell them that you want to talk about it. That you just want to have a conversation, or you want to know their thoughts.
It’s just a way of building your tribe, and making your life better, and bringing your army and that support system behind you. We all need support, and this is one way of doing it, just by sharing this message. That’s it for me today. As always, remember, go out and be the Author of Your Own Story.
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