I was talking to a business owner, not a coaching client of mine, but I was actually getting an ART session done. This is an Active Release Technique to actually help relieve the strain on your joints. I was having some shoulder issues from my workouts and past injuries that I’ve had. I was talking to this gentleman. What he was telling me was in the area of his relationship. He was actually telling me about his marriage. This is our first session, so he was just talking to me about it and he was very open and transparent, which I really enjoyed. One of the things he told me about was he was actually focused on what he should do. He’s like, “Doug, I just think about this all the time. What are my next steps? What are the things that I should be doing? I just can’t stop thinking about it. In fact, I think about it so much that actually, I’m not making sales call, I’m not calling customers back, I’m not marketing myself. It’s really going down from a spiral.”
Now you got to understand, he knew coming in that I coached business owners because the person that referred me was a client of mine. When he was sharing this with me, he had no idea that I talk about the Five to Thrive. He was just sharing his relationship and happened to relate it to the fact that his business wasn’t working well. What he said was really important. What he said was, “I’m focused so much on this and trying to solve this problem.” It happened to be in the area of his relationship, that it was just consuming him.
This is what I told him. I said, “Hey, look. Are you looking for advice here?” He said, “Yeah. I’d like to know what you think.” I said, “Look, I think what you need to do is pause for a bit. What I mean by that is actually go mountain biking, go do something you like and don’t think about the problem.” How many times have you or I, I know at least me, you have a problem and just sleep on it and the next day somehow, subconsciously, it’s solved, or an idea pops out to you in the shower and you’re just like, “Oh, that’s the answer. I got a great idea now.” It happens to me all the time and I’m sure it happens to you. I told him the same thing. I said, “Just pause for a bit.”
Now I didn’t tell him to go meditate, which is what I would recommend many of my clients do, is take a 20-minute meditation regardless of the type of meditation you want. There are guided meditations and I have guided meditations I’ve recorded that I give to clients. You can do a lot. I like davidji. I like a lot of them that are out there. Or you can do more of a Vipassana style meditation, which I’ve done as well. Totally up to you. You could also just as easily go for a walk, go for a mountain bike ride, work out, whatever it is that takes your mind off the problem. Pause for a bit.
Now I’ve seen this so many times in the area of business in my own life where I’m just stressed about finances, making payroll in the past, all these things because I didn’t forecast, all these little things. They would consume me and I’d miss out spending time with my family. I’d miss out spending time with my friends. I’d physically be there, sure, but I wasn’t mentally there. Does that sound familiar to you? If it does, I’m going to encourage you to use this technique and just pause for a bit, even if that pausing is counting to 10 backwards and taking 10 diaphragmatic breaths. Really, if you can take longer time off of the problem, it seems to work itself out.
I haven’t heard back from him. I don’t know if it works for him, but I can tell you if you’ve been in this situation and I get in a situation a lot where things can consume me or at least in the past I did, I recommend you pause for a bit. Grab your journal, write down your Five to Thrive. Your mind, your body, your soul, your relationships, and your business and then where is something consuming you? Are you consumed as many people are about your body? What diet should I do? Or I’m not doing the right things. Or is it in your business or relationship? I hear this all the time just like this gentleman. If you’re a business owner and your relationships aren’t working, nothing’s working. Your business isn’t working and vice versa. If your business isn’t working, your relationships aren’t working. That’s why we have the Five to Thrive. You want to have a balance in those five key areas.
If that’s happening for you, I want you to take a pause. I want you to think about the problem and then not. Sounds simple, I know. You’re saying, “Doug, how can I not think about the problem? It’s consuming me.” Well, what I want you to do is do something else. Maybe painting is for you. Maybe bike riding. Maybe walking. Whatever it is, do something totally different. Volunteer somewhere where are diving in helping somebody else. Coach somebody. Take a couple of these Daily Growth Hacks and work with an employee, with a friend, and use some of these tactics and tell them, “Hey. I’m working on stuff myself and will you do it with me?” When you are teaching someone, you can’t think about your own problems because you’re worried about them, right? You’re helping them out. That’s another thing you can do.
Whatever you do, take time to pause and get away from your problem and subconsciously it just tends to work itself out. Answers seem to flow through you. That’s it for me today. Make sure you share this with at least three people that you know so you can build your accountability, build your tribe, and help somebody else out. Of course, go over to Authorofyourownstory.com and make sure you get on our newsletter if you haven’t already. I want to make sure you’re getting the latest tips, tricks, techniques, news, and information about the Author of Your Own Story tribe and things that we’ve got going on here. I will see you tomorrow. Go out and inspire somebody today by being the author of your own story.
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