Today’s topic: What is it like to be in a relationship with me.
You’re listening to the Author of Your Own Story Show Daily Growth Hacks. Each day we provide you with a tip, trick, or insight to help you become a better person in what we call the five to thrive – that’s mind, body, soul, relationships, and business.
Now let’s get to today’s topic. So what is it like to be in a relationship with me? That’s kind of an odd question, but it’s the question I sent to five key people in my life.
To give you an idea, I sent it to my wife, my brothers, and one of my co-workers as well as two friends. Now, I sent an email and I also followed up with each person just so they knew where I was coming from. In the email, I started off with “hey I have a question for you, because I’m on a path of personal growth and I really would like you to take a few moments to answer this question – what is it like to be in a relationship with me?”.
Now, I also told them “please be transparent and honest. I’m not gonna hold any of this against you, this is for my growth and actually the more open and honest you are with me the better this is going to be for me”. Now the results that I got back, frankly, actually surprised me.
They surprised me in a couple different ways.
One is that I was really taken back by all the great things people had to say about me. For some reason I was really focused on the negative and I was thinking of all the things that it could be like to be in a relationship with me. I run multiple businesses, I’m a little spastic, I’ve got things going around all the time, I’m juggling plates everywhere, I’m always wearing different hats, but the results that I got we’re really heartwarming.
You know people said often the comment about my integrity, my loyalty, that I had their back. People told me that that I love them and would always look out for them before myself and they knew I would always be there for them and have their best interests in mind. That really touched me, because that’s the way that I want to live, but you know you don’t always know if people see that.
But, I also got some criticism and some in really cool ways, and it wasn’t really shocking because I know this about myself and the biggest critique for me was my moodiness. I run multiple businesses and so sometimes I’m up late at night just thinking about ideas or what have you and I don’t sleep that well and I get into the stress of the day and I don’t manage it as well as I could and tend to take it out on those people that are closest to me.
Does that sound familiar to you?
A lot of us do that and it’s something I’ve been working on, which was also cool because my wife told me “hey, this is where you were when I met you and now here’s where you are” so, “this is what it was like to be in relationship with you at this time of our relationship and this is what it’s like to be a relationship with you now”, the good and bad and that was really eye-opening for me as well and it was really heartwarming that she took the time to actually write that out there.
So what I’m going to ask you to do today, your call to action is to do the same thing.
Pick five people that you’re close to in your life – family, friends, co-workers, that’s up to you, but pick at least five people and ask them that question. What is it like to be a relationship with me?
Now, of course, that’s you in this case, but that’s the question you’re going to ask. Now, it’s really important to give them that disclaimer and let them know that you’re not going to hold any of this against them. You’re going to take this and you want them to be transparent and open and honest with you. That is going to be critical.
Now if you’re the kind of person in the past that has held things against people, you’re going to have to open yourself up. This isn’t only the time for you to change, but also a time for you to explain to them that you are changing. This is for your own personal growth and the more honest people are with you, the more you’re actually going to see your actions and be able to pivot and make a change where you want to. Now, of course, you’re perfect just the way you are.
You don’t have to make any changes, but you also can make those micro adjustments where you see fit, just like I’m going to. Now, what I want you to do is ask these five people, follow up with a phone call, a text, do whatever way you want to make sure you get back from them what you’re looking – for which is their open and honest feedback.
Then open up your journal and I want you to write out what they say. You know, I don’t want you to be judgmental about it, but we’re going to categorize these into good or things that you can change so to speak. I want to know what you think about these.
How does it make you feel?
Do you find this to be the way that you want them to be in a relationship with you?
Are you making them feel or are you allowing them to feel your heart, your soul, are they filled up by you?
Is this the path you want to take and should you just be continuing?
Or do you want to pivot turn and make some micro changes?
That’s up to you, but the key is to actually write those down.
There’s something about journaling that really opens us up and really allows us to free flow and develop and grow. So, go ahead and journal that and then what I want you to do is head over to authorofyourowntory.com and make sure you register for our newsletter where you’re going to get daily teachings above and beyond this each day delivered to your inbox.
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