Now, I got a message on Facebook and I get quite a few messages on Facebook from listeners, and I appreciate them all, so thank you. But, this message I took as very interesting, this message asked, “Doug, I’ve been listening to The Daily Growth Hacks for several weeks now. I went back and binged them all.” Now, I love that and I think that’s a great idea if you’re new to The Daily Growth Hacks, I highly recommend doing the same.
But then he goes on to say, “What I really want to do is have my brother listen to them, and get him to change. I want him to register for The Author Of Your Own Story University because it sounds like the perfect fit.” Now, this gentleman’s name is Carlos, so Carlos, I’ll address you directly. Instead of replying to your message, I’m going to do it right here on The Daily Growth Hack. Now see, the problem here Carlos, is you can’t force anybody to do anything they don’t want to. You can lead a horse to water, as the saying goes, but you can’t make it drink.
What I mean by this, you can’t make somebody change. This happens all too often in relationships, especially with a spouse trying to change their other significant other, right? How often do we want somebody else to change, because we see the greatness inside them? We see what they could become. Or maybe they’re just annoying the crap out of us and we just want them to change cause we’re right. And if that’s the case, go back to a previous Author Of Your Story Daily Growth Hack, and listen to the one where it talks about, do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? Because that’s applicable here too.
But in this example, when I’m talking to Carlos, Carlos yes, you want your brother to grow and I love that. So what can you do? Well, what you can do is be the example. Be the example for who he wants to become. I remember talking to my brother many years ago, asking him about Christianity. What does it mean to be a Christian? Really, how come he doesn’t go around and really talk about it a lot and try to convert so many people? And he said something to me that I deeply respect and stuck with me. He said, “Doug, the best thing that I can do is be Christ-like. I can be an example and then people will want to follow what I’m doing.”
Now, this stuck with me and it happened many years ago, but this applies. It’s not just to do with religion, but it applies to you, it applies to everybody. What are you doing now to make people inspired? To make them want to rise? As the tide rises, it’s going to lift everything around it, just like you. Now Carlos, as you’re growing, as your brother sees your life changing if you’re actually taking action at the end of each of these Daily Growth Hacks like I ask you to do. If you’re taking action, the results will show for themselves.
Plus, you can’t expect someone to change just because they see you changing one day or one week or even one month, it takes time. And they have to do it when they’re ready. But by being around somebody who’s actively up-leveling and raising their thermometer, raising their game, it inspires. Everybody wants to do it. You know, if you ever play competitive sports and you’ve played with a group of people that are just, better than you, you play better. But the same thing happens if you play with people that are worse than you, you play worse.
So, another example that a lot of you can probably relate to, if you’re constantly hanging out with people that are going to the bars every night, you go to the bars. But if you’re also constantly hanging out or instead of, constantly hanging out with people who are going home, putting in work, doing that extra hustle, or going hiking, whatever it may be, you will tend to do the same things.
Now for your brother, or those listening, this could be anybody, right? Anybody relationship you’re in if you’re bettering yourself, if you’re being the example, you become the rising tide that lifts all the boats around them. You can’t sign anybody else up for Author Of Your Own Story University, you can only do that for yourself, and then show them by being the example itself. I’d love to be able to do the work for people, I can’t. You won’t get the benefits. And in this case, Carlos, your brother won’t get the benefits.
Now, of course, I’m not just talking to Carlos here, I’m talking to you the listener or somebody watching this right now. Where in your relationships are you trying to change other people, rather than focusing on yourself? Now see, it sounds selfish, but focusing on yourself allows you to pour into other people. It allows you to be the inspiration. It allows you to show them what’s possible. It allows you to raise them up. I’ve experienced this so often in my own life, and I’ve seen it be experienced in other people’s relationships as well.
This is where you get to pay it forward. This is where you, the listener, get to pay it forward by being the author of your own story and inspiring other people. Wherever you are, watching or listening to this, I’m going to encourage you to write down five people. Now, these are five people you think would benefit from these Daily Growth Hacks. Pick these five people and listen to The Daily Growth Hacks with them. Make it part of your daily conversation. Don’t force them, listen to it and explain to them from the heart, why you’re listening to these. Why you want to be better. Don’t try to fix them, go about it by sharing. Sharing with love.
That’s what I have for you today. Get your journal out, write down your five people. Who are five people you would like to continue this journey with? Maybe they’re not on the same path but, they share loyalty with you. They share other traits that you just love. Keep with them, don’t just give up on people. Keep with them, but don’t do it to change them, do it to inspire. You can be the inspiration that they can see, and again, be that rising tide that lifts all boats.
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