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Now, part of the Author of Your Own Story university, a lot of what we talk about is forward thinking or forward planning. That is projecting yourself into the future and reverse engineering that.

What that can look like is projecting yourself two, five years in advance and looking at where you want to be. Where are you in that time capsule and then how did you get there and then we reverse engineer it and that’s how you get to that successful place. That’s just one way. Now, oftentimes, when working with high-end clients whether it be business owners, executives, or their family members, I look at all the shoulds that come up. Now, this also happens in the Author of Your Own Story university, so what I mean by should is people have this vision. Now, these are societal pressures, pressures based on family, their work environment, their friends, whatever, and they have this idea that they should be doing certain things.

Hey, I should get married. I should just stay in the area that I grew up in and get a steady job. Get a job that has some security, some health benefits, and benefits other than that, and I should just work a nine to five and that way I have weekends off. I should do this. I should do that. I should go to grad school. You can should yourself to death and we all know this, but these shoulds keep creeping in with future planning. Now, part of being the author or your own story and planning your future needs to be wants. Where do you want to go? Where you want to go is gonna motivate you. Shoulds don’t motivate you. Yeah, they look good on paper, but when you’re actually doing the work, when you’re doing the daily work that requires the stuff right behind me that I’m working on so I can go play in the mountains and I work two days a week versus taking five days off sometimes.

These are the wants that I have and how do I back into it? It motivates me. Sometimes I’m tired. Sometimes things come up with my businesses and things get crazy. Nothing’s perfect, but the wants motivate me and carry me forward. Now, I’m human, so I encounter shoulds, as well. One of the things for me is I should focus just on my coaching business. Now, my coaching business is extremely successful and it could be even more successful if I just focused on that, but my want, my want is actually to deliver this message of being able to live the life of your dreams to more people. I realize not everybody can afford $10,000 a month for one on one coaching, and that’s exactly why we developed the Author of Your Own Story university.

Now, look, it is not gonna make me as much money as one coaching client. Even if we had 100 people in there, it just isn’t. The price point’s really low because we want you to have access. Now, if I was looking at shoulds, I should not do this, but I want to. It fills my heart and it fills my soul to help people and this is what drives me forward. When I’m projecting myself two, five years in advance and then working backward, I’m making sure these are things I want. These are things I should do. The shoulds talk about income you should make. Everybody seems to throw out a million dollars, right, because it’s round number, but what do you want? What is that gonna get you? What is being in that marriage gonna get you? What is it that you want about it?

If you want to stay in the neighborhood you grew up in, you want to get a nine to five, you want to have the white picket fence mowing the lawn waving at the neighbors, I fully support you. That is amazing. It’s awesome. That is not my dream. My dream isn’t to have a small little lawn and mow it every day and drinking coffee and waving at the neighbors. It’s not. I want land. I want space, and so that motivates me to want versus a should. Society tells us we should do this, but if we want to do it, great, it’s a perfect marriage, but if we don’t, it’s okay to break the norm.

This is why it’s author or your own story and not just author of story or author of my story for you. It’s really about you and the individualism, so what I want you today grab your journal. Break out your five to thrive, your mind, your body, your soul, your relationship, and your business, and the categories, and write down what you want in those categories. Now, what I want you also to do is write down any should you have. Hey, I should be ripped. I should have a six pack. Really? Not everybody needs to have a six pack. Having fat tissues on your body is somewhat beneficial, but it doesn’t mean you’re overweight. Now, this isn’t saying you should be hundreds of pounds overweight. There are health risks to that, but what are your wants versus your shoulds?

If you want a six pack, go for it. You can do it. It’s not that difficult to do. It really isn’t, but what are your wants versus your shoulds? Write those down in your five to thrive. Another one I hear often is I should start my own business. I should be an entrepreneur. Well, I’m here to tell you I coach a lot of people. I’ve had the benefit of coaching thousands upon thousands of people, and most people shouldn’t be business owners. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t. I’m just saying most people. It’s this societal pressure that we think that entrepreneurship is this grandiose thing. It’s not. Some of us, like me, are just crazy. We have to own our own business. Our minds are just built that way, but not everybody is.

In your business, what do you want versus what should you be doing? Make sure that you wipe out those shoulds. They’re gonna creep in your life because they’ve been ingrained in us probably since your parents were telling you things and their fears and their hopes for you for years and years, decades. In some cases, 40, 50 years. Write down your five to thrive. What are you want in each of those areas, and then identify your shoulds. Now, what I want you to do is bonus level. Take this up a notch. Share this with three people. Do it right now. It may sound corny, but I’m kind of corny, so just do it.

Share it with three people and share your answers, because if you imagine you had three people, even if it’s just three, knowing exactly what you want two years from now, they’re gonna uplift you. They’re gonna be the engine behind you pushing you and, as your goals are pulling you, pushing you towards your goals. These are the people you really want to have on your side. Share it with three people right now. That’s it for me today. Remember, go out and be the author or your own story.

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