So as the story goes, the musician stormed out of the recording studio yelling at the producer and saying, “I’m not coming back until you fix the problem!” Now the musician was complaining about the acoustics in the studio. He was just tired, there was a reverberation and an echo in there that just wasn’t giving purity to his sound. He came back a week later. Now, this was an important musician, and to the producer, this was a chance for him to make or break his career. The musician came back in, he sat down and he started to play and noticed the acoustics were still horrible. And he said, “I thought I told you to fix the problem?” And in response, the producer said, “I did. I actually changed the lights and painted the walls.”
Now you see, how often in times are we the producer, really trying to fix the wrong problem? And as high achievers, how often are we actually fixing the wrong problem, strictly to avoid doing something we feel uncomfortable about? Now this could be having an uncomfortable conversation with a client in your business, or maybe it’s a relationship, or just simply not getting clarity, not asking the right questions. Or maybe this is the area of your body. Maybe you’re really focused on losing weight, but you’re focused on the micronutrients, the vitamins, and minerals that you’re putting in the supplementation. Forgetting that supplements are a supplement to a solid diet and exercise routine, not the other way around.
Again, or maybe it’s in your marriage. Maybe you and your husband or your wife, are constantly battling, but you’re battling about the separate issues, right? Maybe that you’re, maybe your wife’s complaining that you’re working too much, and what you see that as a complaint that you’re actually not taking out the trash, or vice versa. Whatever it is, how often are we actually fixing the wrong problem and not getting actual clarity?
So one thing you can do right now is to grab your journal, write out your five to thrive. Right there, your mind, body, soul, relationships, and business, and focus and write down a problem that you’re actually working on right now. Something you’re trying to solve. If you’re like me and like most of the people I work with, you’re constantly solving problems and looking at up levelling your life, and coming up with better solutions. Now if you’re working on that, make sure, are you actually solving the right problem, the right equation?
Now I see this happen the most in the area of relationships when I’m working with clients. Oftentimes, I only work with men right now, not because of any particular reason, but just seems that men contact me and are looking for coaching, and so when I’m working with a man, oftentimes he’s having problems in one or two areas. One it’s in his marriage, or two, it’s actually in finding the right woman. Now you can flip this script and go any other relationship style that you’re into. But in this particular case, oftentimes what I’m seeing is a misconnection in that communication. So for example, if one of my clients, he and his wife are having, were having major issues. And the problem was, is he was trying to solve a problem at one level, while she was complaining about something in a totally different level and they were completely missing each other.
And so what I had them do was simply sit down, ask questions and listen. I said, “Look, this is not a time for you to talk. The only thing you can do is get more and more clarity. Ask what else. What else? Make me understand a little bit more.” After that conversation with his wife, he had clarity. He was trying to solve a problem that didn’t matter to her. She was complaining about something completely different. Now once they were able to get on the same page, he said, “Geez I’m happy to do that for you babe. I love you. I would love to spend more quality time with you.” And what he was doing was spending quantity time, not quality time, and to him, he didn’t see the difference in that. But to his wife it was huge. And it’s changed their marriage. They’ve done a complete 180 and are so close together. Simply because he was now, he now had clarity, he could solve the correct problem.
Now I see this with business owners all the time. You know, in the area of their marketing. I own two marketing agencies, so I’m often in other business owner’s sandboxes playing and looking behind the curtain to see how their marketing is doing. And oftentimes I see them solving the wrong problem. They’re advertising and communicating their marketing message in the wrong areas, to the wrong people, and they’re wondering why it’s not working. Now if they just got clarity and solved the right problem, it comes with flow and ease, and they’re able to build their businesses so much easier, reduce their stress and stop spinning their wheels.
Now you could see this in all areas of your five to thrive. It gives you a holistic representation of what’s going on in your life, and that’s why we use it. So today I want you to grab your journal as I said, write out that five to thrive, and see where you need to be asking better questions. Are you solving the right problems in your five to thrive? Now I know a lot of you think, “Ah, there are no problems, they’re just opportunities for improvement.” And that’s great, but are you solving the right opportunities? Are you going down the right path that allows you truly to be the author of your own story, rather than actually reading into somebody else’s story about you? That’s what I want for you as that clarity.
Now if you’re interested in diving much deeper into this, go over to authorofyourownstory.com and get on our wait list for February’s group of Author Of Your Own Story University. We do lots of coaching on this subject and deep dives that give you laser-like focus, right into what you want to do. And of course, if you’re looking for private coaching you can reach out about that and find out what those opportunities look like as well.
But before you do anything else, what I want you to do is make sure you’re on the mailing list at authorofyourownstory.com, so you can get other news, events, tips, tricks delivered right to your inbox each and every day. That’s it for me today. As always, go out and inspire someone simply by being the author of your own story. I’ll see you tomorrow.
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