I just got off the phone with another coaching client of mine, now this is a new coaching client I just started working with. And with each of my clients, I take them through what I call a 90-day game, where we gamify their life and their goals over the course of a 90 day period. Now for this particular individual, I was checking back on his game and how he was performing in the game. I noticed he had changed some of his goals, some of his goals became instead of being one direct key characteristic or thing that he wanted to achieve, it became I’m going to do this or I’m going to do that. I’m not really sure, I’m going to do this, or I’m going to do this over here.
And so I noticed that this was becoming a pattern, this was the second conversation that we had had in our coaching relationship. And so I asked him very simply because I’ve seen this with other people I’ve worked with. I see this even more in high performing individuals who really want to take their lives to the next level, but seem just to be spinning their wheels for some reason. They seem to be working hard, but not getting where they want to go. I know this has been familiar to myself, and that’s why I can see the pattern. I asked him I said “Geez, has this pattern of indecision come up in your life? And the reason I’m asking you this is because I’ve seen it with other clients of mine, and I’ve seen it within myself.” Where you feel like you’re caught between two great options here, and you’re debating back and forth.
Do I do point A, yeah point A’s great, or maybe I do B, B is pretty awesome too. And then by the time you look up you haven’t done either of them. Does that sound familiar, have you ever been caught in that situation? I certainly have, where you’re caught between two fantastic ideas, this can be business ideas, relationships, going on a trip, these can be products and services that you want to bring to the marketplace. And you’re caught between do I watch Facebook ads, or do I do a Facebook group, I’m not sure, and you back and forth. Or do I do email marketing for this program I just got, or do I use this other program that somebody’s pitching me on how to do a funnel?
But when you look down, that indecision paralyzes you, right? It paralyzes us as people, we’re caught between two seemingly good possibilities and the next thing we know nothing gets done. So what I asked him, I said “Look here’s the deal, is this a pattern that’s coming back in your life? Because what I’m seeing right now is a week has gone by since our previous conversation about your goals, and you’ve changed to a this or this over here.” Now his goals weren’t life-threatening by any means, one was playing a musical instrument or learn a foreign language, as one of his 90-day goals as an example. Now when I talked to him about it, first he said “Yeah, I’m still thinking about it. I’ll probably know by next time we call Doug.”
Well, that had been three weeks, or 21 days, into his 90-day game. And I already foresaw the problem, we would be at the end of 90 days and he would have got nothing done except for maybe deciding which one he was going to for, the foreign language or the musical instrument. What I told him, I said: “Look what if you picked one right here, right now and you gave yourself 90 days to try?” You can always go back to the other one in the next 90 days, but the difference is at the end of that 90 days, you would have some slight level of mastery on one of the two. The musical instrument you’ve played before, you’d be getting even better with that with lessons. Or the foreign language, we’d already talked about you getting a coach and you already have Rosetta Stone and all these other things.
Now you’d actually be able to have a basic conversation in that language. Two of these goals you’ve had for years, let’s dust them off and get one of them at least on the way to being accomplished within 90 days. At the end of the 90 days, you can pivot and you can say “I don’t really care about this foreign language or I don’t care about playing a musical instrument.” But at least you know, you’re not caught in indecision. Then I asked him the question I’m going to ask you, where in your five to thrive, your mind, your body, your soul, your relationships, and your business, are you caught in the power of indecision?
See it’s not really powerful, what I’ve found with coaching people over time is that when you release indecision, in other words, you make a choice and you go in a direction. You actually go at it full speed ahead, it frees up so much energy in your life. I know it has for me and I know it has for my clients, you don’t realize that this indecision, stay in a relationship, get a new relationship, go on your own. Whatever that indecision is for you, you don’t know how much that’s holding you back, it’s draining you. You need to let that energy flow through you, make a decision and go for it. You can always pivot, you can always change your mind.
But being indecisive is not making any decision at all, and that’s what holds us back from being the authors of our own story. That’s it for me today, I look forward to seeing you tomorrow. Please share this with at least three other people you think would benefit from this message, and do the work. Grab your journal, look at your five to thrive, and write out where you’re living in the terms of indecision. Where’s indecision showing up in your world, where is it showing up in your life? And then make a decision, make a clear plan of action and move forward. I’ll see you in the Author of Your Own Story group on Facebook and I look forward to talking to you. Take care.
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