The spotlight effect … well, each time when you go into a social situation or you’re thinking about making a big decision, what naturally occurs to most of us is what’s called “the spotlight effect”. That’s where we think that everybody is looking on us. They’re looking at us and they’re concentrating on the things that we’re doing and the ways that we’re behaving. When the truth is this is just a way that you limit yourself from actually achieving your potential.
When you think about it, this was a survival mechanism that was put into our psyche so we could live in tribes, so we could survive by being one of the tribe and not standing out, so we wouldn’t draw attention upon ourselves. When the truth, in this day and age, when we have all our basic needs met, the spotlight effect really is preventing you from becoming the author of your own story. Now, if you think everybody’s watching you, everybody’s paying attention to what you’re doing, how you’re doing it, they’re criticizing you, you’re greatly mistaken. And the reason is that everybody has a spotlight effect. Right?
So, when you’re in a social situation, you’re thinking, “Jeesh. You know, is everybody looking at me? Is my hair okay? Am I dressed all right? You know, am I walking? Am I standing up tall? Am I representing my best self?” Remember, everybody is thinking something similar. So, they’re actually not focused on you at all. When you can adapt that mentality and realize that the spotlight effect isn’t actually on you, and each person is having their own spotlight, it gives you the freedom to break out of the restraints and become more of the author of your own story. So, what I want you to do today is go through your daily life, after listening to this, and imagine the spotlight effect.
Now, I want you to imagine that everybody that you encounter or come across, whether it be in the grocery store or in the boardroom, is having some sense of that spotlight effect occurring for them in that moment. And then, I want you to break away from that and try something different. Notice those subconscious thoughts, a little ego talking to you, that’s telling you stuff like, “Oh wow. What do I look like? Am I not dressed right? Oh jeez, I shouldn’t of wore sweats going to the grocery store. Or, here I am in the boardroom and I forgot my tie,” whatever it may be for you.
What I want you to do is realize what those thoughts are, and then when you get an opportunity, as soon as you get an opportunity, write those down. Now, if you’re in the boardroom, type ’em up, put ’em on your phone. If you’re at the grocery store, you can do the same thing. And the reason we wanna write these thoughts down is we wanna recognize what our subconscious mind is saying so we can flip the script on it. We also wanna recognize, during those times, to take that five-second rule. Remember? Five, four, three, two, one, and then switch it. Make a conscious decision to realize … and I like to laugh at it. Whenever I realize the spotlight effect is happening to me, I laugh. And so I realize that that’s happening. I give it a giggle. Right? ‘Cause it’s funny to me that I actually am programmed this way. And I realize that nobody else around me cares what I’m doing, they just don’t.
I’m not that important. At least, not to them. I’m important to myself. And so, once you’ve realized, in that moment, that you have these subconscious programming, this language, or record playing in your head giving you negative feedback, you can go ahead and laugh at it, which is what I do. Or do anything you want to break that. And then, flip it. And be laughing … you know what? No one cares about my sweats. Here I am at the grocery store and I’m so comfortable, it is amazing. And walk around, and then you’ll realize that spotlight effect … people are now looking at you and what they’re thinking is, “Man, that person is comfortable. Wow. Why am I dressed up for the grocery store? Oh, I can’t believe I did that.”
So the spotlight effect, often times, brings us into conformity. And we also know that change happens outside of your comfort zone. And so, when you’re going through this phase of a spotlight effect, really recognize that nobody cares what you’re doing. And this is gonna give you that extra edge when allowing you to push the boundaries a little bit and step into your … outside, excuse me, step outside of your comfort zone and into uncomfortability, where you could actually achieve greatness. And this is where it’s gonna open you up. It’s gonna open up to new paradigms of possibility for you, and allow you really to enjoy that moment.
So, go out and seize the moment. Recognize the spotlight effect. Journal anytime you have something that comes up, so you can recognize that. And really pay attention to that programming, so you can flip the script. And that’s how you can go out and be the author of your own story. That’s it for me today. Go over to authorofyourownstory.com, sign up for our newsletter. That’s where you’re gonna get the latest tips, tricks, and techniques. But you’re also gonna get inside information. We just interviewed Chris ‘Tarzan’ Clemens and in that conversation, we talked about really what it’s like to be a digital nomad, the ups, and downs that people don’t talk about becoming the author of your own story, about his successes, but also deep insights into his failure. Now, this interview is only gonna be up for a couple of days. And so, if you’re listening to this, you know, after we’ve recorded and released it, a week later you’re not gonna have access to it. Only in our member’s section.
But, if you’re on our newsletter, you’re gonna get that update right away so you have access to his inside tips and inside information from experts, totally free and accessible to you. That’s the only way you can get it. And I wanna make sure you have all the tools to become the author of your own story. Have a great day. Remember, go out and be the author of your own story.
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