All of us in life have dogmas, external dogmas or ideologies that are placed upon us, things that we just assume to be true, things that we’ve always things we should do, right? You’ve heard that term in these daily growth hacks that you don’t want to should all over yourself. We have these “shoulds”. I should spend more time with my family. I should work more. I should go to the gym. I should get up at 4:00 in the morning. I should stay up ’til 2:00 in the morning working. The shoulds go on and on.
I know I have these in my life. Oftentimes when I’m sitting out writing out my day in my journal what I want to accomplish and looking at my calendar I often think of, “Well, I should be able to go to the gym and work out for an hour, an hour and a half. And I should be able to spend just tons of time with my family and be the ideal husband, the ideal dad. And I should be able to build all my businesses all at once, and I should be able to give all my clients the time they deserve or I think they deserve. And I should, I should reach out to old friends that I haven’t talked to in a while. I should actually reach out to 20 people a day, I can do that. I should go for a walk with my son for at least an hour, and I should go for another walk on my own for an hour listening to an audiobook, and I should …” It goes on and on and on.
These “shoulds” are dogmas, they’re dogmas that have been placed on us. We’re working on a business or an idea or a way to get around in our goals, we look at these old dogmas and we take them with us. We take them like backpacks going through life, and oftentimes we do those subconsciously. Next thing you know you have all these bags on you and we make the joke about dating, “That person has got too much baggage,” but don’t we always do that? Don’t all of us do that on a routine basis in our lives and other areas? Of course, we do.
What I’m going to ask you in your five to thrive, where are you actually resorting to old dogmas? Where are you using shoulds? For example, maybe you’re like me. You’re a 40-year-old businessman and you’re working out and you’re working out as if you were the 20-year-old college athlete. You’re hitting it hard and you’re noticing your body is breaking down a little bit more than it used to, but you’re still going after it and you’re loading protein in you.
I found myself doing this. In fact, I hired a trainer, and talking to him I was just saying, “Look, I used to hit it so hard. It wasn’t very long ago I was playing competitive soccer at a decently high level. I was the oldest guy on the field and I was proud of that. Then I took two years off and I don’t know if I can go out there and bang around with the guys anymore.” It was interesting because he chuckled and he sent me a document. This document was from a health coach that was listing out the exact same scenario, a little bit different but very similar, just said, “Hey, look. You have all these other opportunities in your life. You may be just want to slow down that train that the 20-year-old used to be.” As soon as I read that I chuckled to myself because I was stuck in an old dogma, the old dogma that I learned way back when of just you have to train your body intensely hard to get where you want to, and every day just a little bit more, if not one hour, do more.
Now educationally or cognitively I knew better. I really did. But I was stuck in this old mentality of testosterone alpha male type mentality, and then I started thinking of course where else in my five to thrive am I doing this? Where am I doing this in my relationship where I’m in an old dogma of shoulds? I should spend time with my wife. And I should, but quality versus quantity time, that’s something I’ve learned over the years.
There are all these other dogmas and which other layers do I want to peel back. That’s why I have a coach, and that’s why I recommend you get a coach or a mentor. Now it could be anybody. It could be a friend, although I don’t recommend usually working with friends, but get a coach that’s up to your own ability. Not everybody can afford a high-level coach like I do. Maybe for you, that stretch of getting a coach could actually just join accountability group or go into the Author of Your Own Story group on Facebook. It’s private closed group where you can share information and coach and work with other people. Of course, you can also get a coach, and if you need a recommendation, shoot me a message and I’ll be happy to try to point you in the right direction of coaches that I know. They’re all at different price points, different experience levels, and different specialties. If you’re looking someone specific, let me know and I’m happy to help you.
But also, what I want you to do is be your own coach. Go through your five to thrive. Where are you actually having old dogmas, shoulds or unconscious beliefs that are affecting your progress towards the Author of Your Own Story lifestyle that I know you want to live?
That’s it for me today. Make sure you go to authorofyourownstory.com, get on that email list right away so you can get the latest information. We have a ton coming up this year, and I’m so excited for it and I want you to be a part of each and every bit of it, that you want to be involved in. That’s the beauty of the email list. You can unsubscribe at any time of course, but you can read it and just take those pieces that you really want.
Then also, share this with at least three other people. Make that your goal for 2018, that you’re going to share these daily growth hacks so you can keep having conversations that matter with people from all over your life. Keep growing yourself and in turn, you’ll also grow your circle of influence and raise the people that you’re actually standing around or being around and raise their standards. Of course, go out today and inspire somebody else simply by being the author of your own story. I’ll see you tomorrow.
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