I just got back from a three-hour ruck with a business owner where I did a coaching session with him. Now, if you’re not familiar with what a ruck, a ruck is really when you fill a backpack up with weight. In this case, it happened to be over 20 pounds, and you go for a walk or a hike really. What we decided to do is meet for one of our coaching sessions and actually do a ruck. Actually, do a long walk while we talked and had a conversation.
Now, this is important for a couple reasons. One is I find oftentimes when I’m personally in a kinetic state, that actually it frees up a lot. Most people find this. Right? Most people find that when we’re moving and in movement we actually are able to access different parts of our brain and our consciousness. This is a common thing, and science has proven this to be true. Well, during this conversation I was talking to him about his setting his 90-day goals. What are his goals going into Q1 of 2018? The first quarter, so January 1st to March 31st. What are his goals? March 31st, what is he going to want to do? In this conversation of his five to thrive, I started to ask him, “Where are you in these goals? When you set this goal for March 31st, on a scale of one to 10, where are you?” He was very honest with me and said, “You know, I’m about a seven or an eight on this scale.”
I asked him the question I’m going to ask you. Why aren’t you a 10? Why aren’t you a 10 on your own goal? This is your goals and your life. Why are you not a 10? What are those reasons? In that conversation, a lot of things can come up. In that conversation with yourself, a lot can come up. Look at yourself in your mind. I had a goal of being conversational in Spanish that I did not hit in 2018, or ’17, excuse me. Now, one of the reasons I did not hit that is I was never a 10. Every time people would ask me how committed I was to that goal, I almost always said a seven.
Now, when asking myself, why am I not a 10? Why am I not? Now, if I’m not a 10, one of two things I would say happened. One is that I picked the wrong goal. Two is there’s something else that’s stopping me from hitting my goal. Now, could be the excuse of balance. Sometimes having balance in your life as the real reason, it is a real excuse and it’s valid. For most people when I’m doing coaching with them, it isn’t. They often use balance as a crutch, balance as a way of preventing themselves from diving deep into their lives, from diving into their lives in such a manner that allows them to write it as the authors of their own story. I’m going to ask you this question. Look at your goals in your five to thrive. Now, hopefully, you’re setting goals, and hopefully, you’re like me and you’re looking at Q1 or 2018 as a whole of your goals.
Look at each of those goals, and how committed are you really? Be honest with yourself. Stop lying. Be honest with yourself. How committed are you to those goals on a scale of one to 10? Now, if you say anything but an actual 10, what I want to know is, why? Write down, why are you not a 10? What is it that’s the gap between where you are today and that level or maybe it’s a seven like me with Spanish to a 10? What is that gap? Once you answer that question and truly answer it, you can fill that gap. I highly recommend that if you are a seven or below, that you either change your goal or get recommitted and find out what’s preventing you from being a 10. You see, this is your life. You’re able to write your own story any way you want to. If your goal is something that’s not inspiring you, throw it away. Life’s too short. It should be inspiring you and allowing you to grow.
Now, for me for example, for Spanish, being a seven in my conversational Spanish, it’s more like I hope it works, and I’ll put some effort into it, but it’s not really a goal. That’s okay too. If you don’t want to have a goal in that particular area, that’s up to you. This is your story, but here as your coach, as your mentor, as your friend, I’m here talking to your right here, right now. I want you to be 10s in all areas of your life. That 10 just means a 10 in fulfillment. What is that 10? Maybe that 10 is you’re going to read one book this quarter, or maybe you’re going to learn a foreign language, or maybe you’re going to learn a whole new skill. I don’t know. What is it for you? What’s fulfilling for you in that area and in your business? Often you hear people throw around, “I’m going to 10x my business.” I hear that all the time. It’s like a buzz word, but what are you really going to do in your business?
Oftentimes people say, “Well, I’m going to get 20, 30, 40 new clients in the first quarter.” Well, why? Where are you on a scale of one to 10? They reply, “Well, Doug, I’m an eight. I’m a solid eight on that. I don’t want it to interfere with my family and things of that nature.” That’s great. Does it have to interfere with your family? If you’re really an eight, what you’re telling me is, “If I hit it, that’s kind of nice, and if I don’t hit it, well then whatever. I was just an eight anyway, so I have that excuse to fall back on.” You need to have a reason why. There needs to be a reason why behind your goals to allow you to push forward. Today I’m going to ask you, grab your journal. Write out your five to thrive, your mind, your body, your soul, your relationships, and of course your business, and then I want you to write out your goals. Ask yourself again. Don’t lie to yourself. Ask yourself honestly, where are you on that sale of one to 10?
Whenever you’re not at a 10, ask yourself, why? Why are you not at a 10? Is there something you can do to bridge that gap, to bring you to a 10, or do you need to actually switch your goal and completely change it up to something that’s inspiring enough, that pulls you towards it rather than you having to constantly push towards that goal? Now, as always, what I want you to do is go over to authorofyourownstory.com. Make sure you get on our newsletter if you haven’t already if you’re a new listener. Then, of course, share this with three friends. This is a great conversation to have where you can do a deep dive into their goals and they learn from yours. This is what relationships are really about. Right? You can share it with them. Then, you can talk together about what numbers you’re at and hold each other accountable. Build your tribe.
It’s often said that you are basically the sum total of the five people you spend the most time with. You’re with me today, and I appreciate that and I value that, but I want you to have more people around you that are supporting you so you can truly live a life of your dreams. You deserve to live life on your own terms and a life that’s worth writing about, and that’s what I want for you. That’s it for me today. Go out and inspire someone by simply being the author of your own story.
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