Earlier today, I asked my right-hand woman, the woman who helps me run all of my businesses, I said, “What are my three biggest complaints? What are the three things you hear me complain about the most?” Now, I had an idea of what she would answer, and two of the three were spot-on. The third one actually surprised me a little bit, and when I actually looked at it, I started writing it down, and I looked at these three complaints as I journaled, and I thought, “Wow, where am I living within these three complaints? Am I actually living my life like these things?”
And the answer was yes, and it wasn’t because I was doing anything wrong or bad, or any of those ideas, but when I looked at what I was complaining about the most, the three key areas, these have been things I’ve been complaining about not for weeks, not for months, but for years. And the reason that it was significant was I hadn’t made a big, big change in any of these three areas. Small glimpses, but no big, big change. So this shows me that there is a major pattern here, a pattern that needs to be interrupted and changed, and more importantly, that I’m living into this story.
Now, yes, you’ve heard me talk about the “author of your own story” concept, and this is something I’ve been very, very fortunate to live. But here I am with three complaints. Now, we’re always going to have complaints and things that we go through, and I define a complaint as something that you complain about, yet don’t provide a solution, and don’t take immediate action upon that solution if you have control. So in looking at these complaints, what I looked at, one is — you’ve heard me talk about this in the Daily Growth Hacks — is always complaining about being tired. Right? It’s been a complaint most of my adult life, and I’ve suffered from sleeping issues, and I’ve done everything that you eventually could think about. Recently, I’ve actually tackled that by just really going to bed earlier, and really getting into good sleep hygiene.
Now, when I look at this, though, through the history of my journaling and everything else that I’ve been going through, this lack of sleep has really caused a lot of issues in all areas of my Five to Thrive: in my mind, in my body, in my soul, in my relationships, and in my business. And then I started going through the other complaints and said, “Jeez, where does this complaint that I’m complaining about fall in line with my Five to Thrive?” And I looked at it again, I said, “Where in my mind, in my body, in my soul, in my relationships, in my business, am I still falling into this complaint? Am I using this complaint as a crutch, or is this complaint actually stopping me, stalling me from actually the growth that I desire, the growth that I deserve?” And I found out each time, the answer was yes, even with this third complaint that I didn’t even know I was saying. It was actually amazing.
So, here’s what I’m going to encourage you to do. If any of this resonates with you, write out your Five to Thrive, and then ask five people, right? I’ve already sent this out to another four people, and sadly, a lot of the complaints that are coming back are the same, but that’s not surprising, either. Ask five people, “Hey” — that you spend time with — “what are the top three things that I complain about the most, that you just hear me complain about? Could be the weather, could be my spouse, it could be anything.” And let them know that it’s safe conversation to have, right? My team and the people around me know that they can pretty much tell me anything, and it’s safe conversation. So, making sure that they feel safe, as you’re going to get better answers, you’re going to get clearer answers.
Now, you may know these, and so after you ask them, I want you to write down what you think your top three complaints are, and what you can do about those, and just make sure you have those listed and indexed. Now, once you’ve got your top five, look it for patterns, and what you’re going to see is that one, two, maybe even all three complaints come over and over again. Maybe different verbiage, maybe it’s not “tired,” maybe it’s “exhausted,” or maybe it’s just “not feeling well,” or something along those lines as a common complaint, as it was and is for me.
Then what I want you to look at is say, “Where in my Five to Thrive am I living into this complaint?” Right? “Where in my Five to Thrive is this complaint … Am I living into it? Am I actually proliferating this complaint? Am I actually living in, ‘Oh, I’m just tired’?” If I say it all the time, of course, I get tired. Now, also, “Where is this affecting me?” Right? “Where is this holding me back or hindering me from the growth that I deserve?”
Now, once you’ve identified that, I think you’re going to be very shocked to see that these complaints penetrate through all your Five to Thrive. It’s always interesting to me when someone hires me as a business coach, I know for a fact that a lot of our sessions are going to be talking about their personal lives, yet most business owners don’t think they need help in these areas until we actually dive deep. And once you clean up your personal life, your business thrives, and vice versa: Clean up your business, your personal life thrives. It’s all so interconnected, and that’s why we have the Five to Thrive.
So look at your list and see where it’s penetrating for you, and I’d love to hear from you. In fact, go over to the Author of Your Own Story community and let me know how this works for you. Of course, you can find me on social media and shoot me a private message; I’m happy for you to do that. Also, share this with at least three people that you know. Hey, you’re asking five people right now what your top three complaints are; you might as well send them this episode so they know what you’re talking about, and then do the same for them if they request it, but only if they request it. And then, last but not least, go out and inspire someone simply by being the author of your own story. I will see you tomorrow. I’m off to the gym. Have a great day.
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