I recently had a coaching call with a man in his late 30’s who was looking to make a dramatic change in his business life. He didn’t want to just change jobs, but he wanted to create a business that works around his ideal lifestyle.
My sweet spot as a mentor.
When I asked him to tell me his “superpower” he replied: “I’m a hard worker. That’s my best skill and attribute. ”
When did working hard become a skill that sets someone apart from others striving to be successful? Did I miss a memo?
If working hard is your key selling point as to why you feel you should be successful, then you’ve got problems lurking around the corner.
Being able to work hard should be a bare minimum, something you just do as an entrepreneur, and not the way you separate yourself from the rest of the crowd.
I don’t know any successful business owner, athlete, or person in any walk of life that doesn’t work hard.
“But Doug, I work smart, not hard.”
Good for you! This is a great strategy provided your competition isn’t working at all or is mentally handicapped in some way.
Yes, you should work smart, but you should also work hard when launching your business. Working hard, and working smart, should be things you just do. They shouldn’t need to be talked about. This goes for your staff as well.
Clock in at 8:05 and clock out at 4:50…
… this won’t work for anyone looking for something other than average. This is the mindset of someone who is ok with being mediocre and if that’s you, that’s fine. Just stop reading now.
Did you know that Michael Jordan, one of the greatest basketball players of all time, would walk around the gym and pick up the basketballs and put away people’s towels? It’s what champions do and to him, it wasn’t hard work.
What would life look like if your norm was doing those things that needed to get done rather than claiming it was hard work?
What would your business look like?
What would it look like if you were so passionate about what you were doing that working hard felt like simply doing those things that got you what you wanted out of life and not as much like work?
What if we stopped patting ourselves on the back for doing what needed to get done and instead, we celebrated doing the “and then some” moments?
What if, in reality, it was easy?
It is.
When I explained this to the man on the other end of the video, he broke down in tears. Not because he was sad, but because he was relieved.
He had carried around a story that wasn’t serving him. He had put himself in a box that wasn’t allowing him to get what he wanted out of life – he just didn’t know it.
What if, in reality, it was easy?
Here’s something you can do today:
Grab your journal, or a piece of paper, or open a doc, and answer this question: What would my life look like if it were easy? What would my business look like if it were easy?
Paint that picture clearly.
You’d pick up the phone and make those calls…
You’d wake up with more energy because the stress wouldn’t be there…
You’d give up that lame story of not knowing what to do…
You’d do those things in your business that move the needle first, not last…
What if it were easy?
It is.
No, showing up is not half the battle.
We’ve all heard this phrase being passed back and forth to help motivate people and more commonly, it’s used to make us feel better.
“We didn’t win, but hey, showing up is half the battle.”
“I’m tired today, but I came anyway. Hey, showing up is half the battle.”
No, it’s not!
The battle hasn’t even begun. You just showed up. This drives me absolutely nuts. It’s insane to think that we’re going to grow or get better by merely showing up. If showing up is your battle, then you’re in the wrong game. Get out now.
In business, the battle doesn’t start until you’ve exhausted your list of leads, it’s late in the day, you’re tired, and you still have to make sales. Or when you and your team are working hard to meet a deadline only to find out that the timeline got bumped up by a week. That’s when the battle starts.
In your relationships, to me, showing up is as necessary as breathing, and no one gives awards for breathing. If you want your relationships to thrive, then you get to show up in a big way each and every time. The battle starts at 3 AM when you’re tired, but your wife and son are both sick, so you stay up and take care of them both. That’s when it starts. That’s not even half of it.
In your health, the battle starts when you sit down with colleagues after work for a bite to eat and you get to choose what it is that you’re going to eat – the nachos or the chicken salad.
The battle doesn’t start when you show up.. .and showing up certainly isn’t half of it. The battle begins when your discipline and drive are tested. This is the starting point. I’m not sure where the halfway point is precisely, as I think it’s a moving target, but I do know that showing up doesn’t even register on the scale.
The next time you hear someone say “Hey, showing up is half the battle.” Just smile. You know that battle hasn’t begun because you’re playing at an entirely different level. Your game is different than theirs – no need to judge, just accept them for where they’re at today.
As a leader, showing up in your business, for your family, for your community, and for yourself is just the norm.
This is why leaders train both their minds and their bodies. Because when the actual battle does start, they’ll be ready.
Will you?
“I don’t want to disrupt the peace.”
“I don’t want to ruffle any feathers.”
“I’m going to stay in the middle and play it safe.”
These are all ways of saying: “I’m going to play small and give my power to someone else and hope that it turns out ok.”
Notice I said “ok” and not great. Because that’s really the hope here – that it turns out ok. Something you can live with. Not something that allows you to thrive.
I had a conversation with an amazing businessman last night. A man whose passion and intelligence far surpasses the norm.
A leader.
A man who is going to change the world for the better.
You know the kind of person I’m speaking about – the kind of person whose energy lights up a room and whose conversation leaves you feeling heard, yet thinking in new ways. That’s rare in my experience.
Except he’s not being that person. Nope, he’s settling because he’s scared of what might happen if he disturbs the peace or causes conflict by going after his dreams and goals. He’s choosing to play small so that those around him feel good about themselves.
I get it. I used to do the same thing. I would make fun of myself when I was around someone that I could tell was lacking in self-esteem so that others would feel better. I would act dumber than I really was to make someone else feel good about themselves. I would deliberately mess up in sports, in games, or activities if I thought someone else there needed a pick-me-up. I’d play small and dim my light to make them shine brighter.
This way of being cost me a lot in my personal and business life. It cost me countless clients as I didn’t want to showcase how our company was better. It cost me in my personal life – missed out opportunities for fun, for relationships, and to express myself.
More importantly, dimming my light, so I didn’t rock my boat cost me my life.
Bold statement, I know, so let me explain.
When you dim your light for others or settle for “ok,” you rob yourself and the world of You. You are forced to put a mask on and pretend to be someone you’re not. A lesser version of yourself. And we do this in the hope that in the future we might be able to be more Us.
The truth is that when we do this, we step off the field that is our life, and go sit in the stands – watching and hoping that someone will save us. We become victims in our own story.
My wife taught me this lesson, and I’m lucky. She would catch me, more often than I care to admit, dimming my light to make other shine. She explained to me that I was robbing those people the opportunity to up their game and in effect, I was allowing them to play small. I wasn’t making them safe as I had hoped, I wasn’t protecting them, no, I was enabling them to hide.
The world needs more great people. The world needs YOU.
Let your light shine so brightly that you light up the people around you. Let your presence and way of being shine so that others will inspire to shine themselves.
Here are three things you can do today:
When should you start?…
… How does now sound?
What is one thing that you’re committed to doing today to allow yourself to play big? I’d love to know.
