Shipping off to war.
I’ve never done it, but after talking to friends of mine that have, they’ve told me what I’ve suspected – they get their affairs in order before departing.
They don’t know if they’re coming back or not.
They take the time to tell each family member that they love them – not casually, but from the heart.
They make sure to tie up any loose ends in their life and those that have businesses of their own, they make sure that their staff knows what to do without them. They make sure they’re not the stopping block in the process.
What if we lived each day in this manner? Not with the fear of dying, but with the sense of urgency to make sure each day our affairs are in order?
What would life look like?
How would you talk to your loved ones?
How would you prepare your employees to run the business without you?
If you weren’t sure you’d be back tomorrow, would you let petty issues and comments get to you? Or, would you just let things roll off your back?
Take a moment to write down how you’d live today if you weren’t sure or not if/when you were coming back.
This process will help you get clarity around your priorities.
The next step is to put that clarity into action.
Let those around you know how much you love and appreciate them.
Don’t sweat the small stuff… and remember, it’s all small stuff.
Live your own story.
What do you stand for?
As the saying goes, if you don’t stand for anything, then you’ll fall for everything.
It’s 5:30 AM as I write this down… everyone in the house is asleep.
I’m not in my home; I’m in someone else’s.
For the next several days, I’ll be staying at an estate in the lakes region of New Hampshire where I’ll be co-leading a conference for business leaders who have traveled from all over the world to be here.
When my fellow coaches arrived, we were excited to see each other. We shared laughs, told stories, and cracked a few beers. The energy was amazing, and the temptation to stay up, have some more drinks and laughs was certainly in the air.
Like a wave washing over me, I got up from my comfortable chair and started prepping for my morning routine. I prepped for bed. It was 9 PM.
I knew that others might judge me for turning in early when the night had just begun, but I also knew what I stood for – and I needed to be fully ready and present in the morning. It was a commitment I had made… to myself.
It wasn’t long ago that I would have stayed up, had a few more drinks with rest of the crew, slept in, and felt like crap the next day until the third cup of coffee kicked in and I would start to feel normal again.
That was then…
… this is now.
Today I stand for something greater than myself. I have a set of values that I allow to guide my choices in my life. I have a family to protect and honor.
This is no longer just about me, though in serving myself to the highest level, it somehow works out for the everyone’s best interest.
These values are written down, and the more I revisit them, the more I live them.
I’m far from perfect – I need to do the reps, but the more I do them, the easier the “work” becomes. It’s reflexive rather than retrospective.
Here are 3 things you can do today to make sure you’re standing for what’s best for you and not “falling for everything.”
The cool part of the story from last night that I didn’t share was that instead of judging me for going to be early, the coaches wished me a good night and they themselves chose to turn in early as well.
Like attracts like. When you know what you stand for, there’s a better chance of drawing like people into your life. If you look around today at the people in your life and you don’t like what you see, then perhaps it’s time to make a change yourself.
“What’s the fastest and easiest way for us to get to our goal of 48k take-home each by January 31st?”
Said another way…
“If I had a gun to your head and your life depended on us getting to 48k by the end of January, what would we as a company be doing differently?”
This was the question I posed to him.
I waited for his response…
“I don’t like this, Doug.,” he said with a tone of disgust.
He then went on to list out the things that would need to happen in order to hit the mark. One by one, the answers appeared before my eyes on a Google doc he had shared with me.
I could see why he was upset…
…he now had clarity and didn’t like what he saw.
What needed to be done were the things that he was avoiding.
He was focusing on systems, training the team, and visioning… and he was spending a lot of time on all of these. To his credit, he was doing a great job… but they weren’t the right things and he was burning himself out doing them – hoping for a better tomorrow. Hoping that these would help him hit his goals.
When he mapped out what it would take to hit the goal, although important, none of what he was working on made the list. Not one of them.
This is the power of clarity.
We tend to have a habit of doing those things we enjoy…
…even to the detriment of those things we want.
Take my workouts for example. I love to lift weights, so when I go to the gym, that’s my focus. What my body could really use is some mobility work… and I do it… sometimes. I never miss the weights. Never.
When I write down my workouts and take a consultative approach (ie. if I hired me to write my own workout), then mobility work is on that list multiple times. I follow it. I get the results I want.
This level of clarity is the power of a good coach or mentor. They don’t tell you what to do – they ask empowering questions so you can get clear on the next steps.
I have no doubt that my friend will hit his 48k mark by the end of January if he sticks to his plan. In fact, I think he’ll hit it much sooner than that…
… as long as he retains the clarity.
What can you do to get more clear?
1. Hire a coach, mentor, or join a mastermind group. A good one will allow you to see the forest from the trees. A great one will give you the power of optics so you can see the playing field unfold before the game begins. It’s the best investment I’ve made, and I continue to invest more in this area myself every year.
2. Pick a goal. I like business goals for this, but you can pick another goal that seems like a stretch goal. Often, I’ll ask people to give me their 1-year goal.
3. Ask yourself the questions on the first few lines. What would you do if your life depended on achieving that goal in just two months?
4. Is the work worth the reward? When setting any stretch goal, I believe it’s important to assess whether the risk is worth the reward. For example, when I built my first marketing firm, I did so while owning two other companies. This required me to sacrifice my free time, friend time, and miss out on a lot of fun. But, when I built my consulting business, I chose to allow it to take longer so I wouldn’t miss out on any of those. Both were right. The choice is yours.
What will you achieve? I’d love to know. Drop me a note.
