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This question comes from Victor, and Victor says, “Doug I’ve got a question that might be a great highlight for the Daily Growth Hacks. What problems or questions deserve our attention? I mean, how do we distinguish which aspects of our life we should be paying attention to, and which ones are a waste of time, money and energy?”
Victor, this is a great question and thank you for submitting it. Now there’s a lot of follow-up questions I’d want to know, like how do you define the problem? Is this a problem that you’re having internally or something that you feel someone’s bringing on to you? And what kinds of problems are these? So there’s a variety of questions.
Today’s insight comes to a result of a phone call that I just got from a friend of mine. Now, I haven’t spoken to this friend in quite a while, and I’m outside in my adventure van getting things ready for a trip that my family and I are going on. We take these trips regularly, and this is actually what prompted this phone call because my friend found out. He called me to say, “Doug, it seems like you’re doing all these great things; however, it just seems like a lot of work. I really don’t want to put all the work into going on. I have a decent job, a decent family, a decent life, yet I feel like I’m stuck in a rut and it just seems like a lot of work. Taking care of my family, my health, my wealth, my relationships, and all these things that encompassed in my business. It just seems like taking things to the next level is just a pain in the butt. Do you have any secrets?”
Thinking time. Here I am early in the morning before my family is up, in my office, and I just take some time to actually think. What am I thinking about? Well, I’m thinking about my life, my author of your own story life, but also my business. I set aside and compartmentalize two different segmented times during my day. Now, this is just like any other meeting. Right? These are meetings that don’t get to get changed. I like to do these in the morning because it sets the tone for the rest of the day.
Now today’s tip comes from a reader question, and this is Alice. And Alice wrote in and asked, “Doug, what do I do to clean up something in my past, something that’s been bothering me and just kind of feel like it’s holding me back. What’s something I can do when I can no longer talk to that person?”
So Alice goes on to share a lot more information in her question and this person happens to be somebody, it’s a family member who passed away and she feels like it’s holding her back. So, how does she clean that up? How does she clear the air there? And it’s a great question and something that’s talked about often.
What do I mean by identifying failures before they happen? Well, we talk so much about positivity. We talk about designing your goals, designing your ideal day, looking back and planning for the future. Often times, what we don’t talk about is failures. I mean, by design … How do you know when you fail?
A lot of times people say, “Well Doug, I don’t want to look at failures. I don’t want to look at the negativity. I don’t want to look at failures because, also, it’s painful. It’s painful to think about failures.” What’s more painful, is what by not thinking about it is to fail, what it means to fail to you, means you’re going around blind.
Now, part of the Author of Your Own Story university, a lot of what we talk about is forward thinking or forward planning. That is projecting yourself into the future and reverse engineering that.
What that can look like is projecting yourself two, five years in advance and looking at where you want to be. Where are you in that time capsule and then how did you get there and then we reverse engineer it and that’s how you get to that successful place. That’s just one way. Now, oftentimes, when working with high-end clients whether it be business owners, executives, or their family members, I look at all the shoulds that come up. Now, this also happens in the Author of Your Own Story university, so what I mean by should is people have this vision. Now, these are societal pressures, pressures based on family, their work environment, their friends, whatever, and they have this idea that they should be doing certain things.
Now, what do you mean by there’s freedom in a schedule? A schedule is so constricting. I want to be able to do what I want, when I want. Well, I do too. But I’ll tell you, this is a battle I’ve had over the years. And I can also tell you this is something we’ve talked about in a previous daily growth hack. But the question keeps coming up over the over again in my conversations with coaching clients, but also in the Author of Your Own Story groups that we have. So, I want to clarify it a little bit more.
Today I’m going to do a quick tip on relationships. This is a hack that’s worked for me over time and I’ve seen it work for other people. In any relationship you have, especially intimate relationships, those that are closest to you, seem to trigger us. They seem to bring out certain times of anxiety or despair or anger or upset. I don’t know anybody that’s been in a long-term, intimate relationship that hasn’t seen the ups and downs of that relationship. It’s just human nature.
Now I was talking to a client early this morning, and by anybody’s outside perspective, he was an amazingly successful man. He had done all kinds of great things. He owns his own law firm. He’s got an amazing family, a loving wife and two beautiful young children. He’s a leader in his community. He sits on civic organizations as well as sits on the board of several nonprofits. If you were looking from the outside in, you would think this guy had it all, but inside he wasn’t feeling good. He was dying inside, and that’s why we were talking.
Today’ Episode focuses on the last in your five to thrive, business. This episode is a mash-up of the best “business” episodes from this past season. Even if you have seen these episodes, do the work again! This work and growth is all about repetition!
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