Today I’m going to answer a question that was put in the Author of Your Own Story group by Barbara. Barbara essentially is asking, “Hey, look. I’ve been going really hard towards this solution, or towards this direction, but now it’s just not filling me up. I’m not finding that this is a viable path for me, and I just don’t think this is the way I want to go, but how do I know that I’m not just giving up because it’s getting difficult, and moving onto the next shiny new object instead of actually pushing through and finding something? Or, finding my other passion?”

Well, this is a great question. It’s something that I think all of us have had, right? We start working on a project that we’re really passionate about, only to find out that it’s really either too difficult, or it’s just not something we’re interested in. Now, business owners have this all the time. They call it Shiny New Object Syndrome. Now the difference between this and what Barbara is talking about is Shiny New Object Syndrome is working on something, and then all of a sudden switching paths because something else looks more fun. It looks more interesting. Now, this happens with software programs, right? We start working with one software program when we buy the year subscription, and next thing you know, we want to work with SEO tools. Then it’s digital marketing, and it’s content marketing, or whatever it may be.

Now the difference between this and what Barbara is talking about is Shiny New Object Syndrome is working on something, and then all of a sudden switching paths because something else looks more fun. It looks more interesting. Now, this happens with software programs, right? We start working with one software program when we buy the year subscription, and next thing you know, we want to work with SEO tools. Then it’s digital marketing, and it’s content marketing, or whatever it may be.

This also happens in technology, and us men, we really get this a lot, where we’re always looking for the newest, greatest things. You know, I have a 55-inch plasma TV, but now I need the 65-inch big screen. This is different, though, what Barbara is talking about. What Barbara is asking here is, hey look, I’ve been working hard towards this vision I have, and now that I’m working on it, I don’t really know if it’s the vision I want. I actually possibly want something else.

This happens all the time, and this is where I’m saying you can’t know C without going to B. If I decide that I’m going to go from point A to point B, and I’m working there, and on my way to B I can look around the corner and I see point C in the distance, and I then know that’s where I want to go. Now, if I wasn’t going towards B, if I wasn’t making that shift, making those choices, making that effort to go to B, I would never know that C existed and it would be impossible for me to make that pivot.

See, going to something different doesn’t mean you’re quitting if you’re doing it for the right reasons. What I mean by that is, as I’m going towards my goal, my goal is point B from A. If I’m going towards my goal, and on that route, I discover something that I previously did not know was possible, we’re going to call that point C. Now I can make a conscious shift, not out of fear, but a conscious shift from the heart out of love of what I want to do, and go to C because now I know that exists. I didn’t know what I didn’t know beforehand.

This is the reason we shouldn’t beat ourselves up. We shouldn’t have this self-judgment. We all do, right? We’re all our own worst critics. When I shoot these videos, I can name a hundred things I don’t like about my physical self, or things that … the lighting, the background, the shirt that I’m wearing, whatever it is. We’re our worst critics, but where we’re going for a goal, especially for high achievers, Barbara … When you’re going for a goal, sometimes you have that innate you have to finish, but that’s not true. If you have new information, new insights, and new ideas, you can make that pivot. You can turn and realize that the real direction you want to go to was something you didn’t even know existed. Also, on top of that, you’re changing.

You can turn and realize that the real direction you want to go to was something you didn’t even know existed. Also, on top of that, you’re changing. Every day, we’re changing. I have a newborn, and every single day I can see physical changes in my newborn. He’s crawling. Now he’s doing something else. He’s grabbing onto objects. Every day, it’s a tangible thing.

We as adults make the same changes, but we’re making those changes internally. We’re making those changes based on our universe, and our world experience, and what we’re getting our eyes open too, so we shouldn’t stop realizing that with those changes are going to come new perspectives. We wouldn’t expect a child to all of a sudden stop doing something, or stop growing or stop thinking differently as their world changes in front of them, because their eyes have been opened. This is happening to us as adults as well, and we should give ourselves the grace to realize that while making these changes, we’re going to see new perspectives and new realities that we didn’t see previously.

So Barbara, to answer your question, you know whether you’re quitting, or whether you’ve just found the right path if this is a new path and you’re not quitting out of fear. Now if you’re moving towards fear, or away from fear, excuse me, then that’s the issue. That’s a no. It’s a red flag if you’re scared about moving away, but if you’re moving towards, if you’re feeling yourself pulled towards something from the heart, that’s a good thing. That’s what the worlds all about. You’re not meant to be in this confined box. Now, as you’re going toward B, now you see C. Move in that direction, and move in that direction with pure joy. I hope this helps you. I’d love to hear your feedback, and I’d love to hear more about your story.

If you like these daily growth hacks, it would mean the world to us if you would take a moment to subscribe and review us on iTunes!

Beginning with the end in mind is something I learned from Stephen Covey from his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Now, this is an older book, but its application is still very valid today. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend picking it up. Today my wife and I are traveling. We’re in beautiful Santa Barbara and I’m sitting overlooking the ocean and when I was talking to a client of mine I was talking to him about his goals and his dreams. We started to go through this exercise, which I’m about to share with you.

I call it to begin with the end in mind. What I want you to do is pull out your journal. If you’re sitting at home or you’re sitting at a desk, grab a journal, maybe even just a scratch piece of paper. If you’re driving right now or listening to this while you’re working out, that’s great too but remember to come back to this exercise because it’s truly life changing. Now, beginning with the end in mind, it starts off a little bit morbid.

What I want to imagine is what if you wrote your eulogy. You are able to actually stand above and listen to the crowd at your funeral. What are people saying? Now what I want you to do more specifically is pick out three people particularly. Now I want you to pick up someone from a romantic relationship. Now, this could be your current spouse or partner and if you’re not currently in a relationship, then I want you to pick your most recent relationship you were in, somebody previous to you.

I also want you to pick a coworker. Maybe if you own your own business that’s just an employee and the third person I want you to pick is a family member. Now what I want you to write out is exactly what you think each of those people is going to say about you. What are these people going to say at your eulogy? Now each person’s going to stand up and they’re going to speak about you. Now, what are they going to say?

Are they going to say, “Geez, Doug was such a hard worker? He worked 50 hours to 70 hours a week working on his business. Wow, we were so proud of him.” Or are they going to say, “Well, Doug was such an amazing friend? He was there every time I needed him. Whenever I needed advice or someone to even help me move or whatever it was, Doug was always there to lend a helping hand and an open heart.” Now, which one would you rather be?

What I want you to do is really write down these eulogies. What are these people going to say, and let’s compact this? Let’s use the power of compacted time. Let’s imagine this is happening three years from today. Three years from today what are these people saying about you? Also, what is the newspaper saying about you? When your obituary is written, what is that obituary saying? What I want you to do is write out actually what people are going to say today.

What are they going to say today about you? I want you to read that. Does that align with your values, who you want to be and who you’re being and showing up on a daily basis in your life? If it’s not, now is the time to change. Not later, not tomorrow, but right now. Right in this moment, I want you to make a choice, a conscious decision that you can change your future to be the author of your own story.

What do you want these people to say? For me I want my wife to talk about how much of an amazing husband I am and how loving I was and how I always took time out for my family. I want her to really speak and pour out the love and the love that I’ve had in my heart. My family, I want that to be very similar. I want them to talk about how much of a great man I was, how much I gave back to society but was always there for my family. I was always there.

Now you hear stories about people who say, “Hey, this person’s so famous. This person’s this.” Really your family just wants you to be your family, right? They don’t care that I speak. They don’t care that I coach high-level people. They don’t care about that. My family just wants me to be a brother and a son. They want me to show up, be able to toss the football around with my nephew and be able to bring a salad to the meal. They don’t care about my accomplishments.

What really matters to them is my heart and how that’s opened up. My employees, I have employees all over the world. I’m very fortunate because they’re amazing people. When they stand up to speak at my eulogy, to stand up at my funeral, I hope that they talk about what a great, compassionate boss I was. The fact that I take time out each and every month to help them up-level their lives, regardless of whether it’s within our business, whatever they’re doing, I check in weekly to see how they’re doing as well as their families. That’s extremely important to me.

I am always there for feedback. Now they don’t always reach out to me, and that’s fine. I don’t try to push that envelop, but what I want to hear from them from my eulogy is I want them to talk about that I was a kind, respectful, but also someone that pushed them, that made them push their boundaries. Now there are things that I want to change in my eulogy and every time I do this exercise there are little tweaks that I make in my life. There’s little conscious shifts that I make and say, “Maybe I’m not going down that path quite the way that I want to.”

Three years from now when people stand up and speak, I hope they cheer and celebrate my life. I hope that there’s some mourning of course, but I hope it’s a celebration. How many times do you hear people say that? “Hey, at my funeral I want it to be a party?” But are they living their life in a way that aligns with that goal? Now oftentimes a lot of the people that I hear that say that “I want it to be a celebration and people partying,” these are all business owners who are workaholics.

Now granted, my clients are business owners, so I know this avatar very well because I used to be this guy. I know it better than they think. The problem is they work their tails off looking for significance and also respect, but yet they’re not spending time on the quality relationships they have. So when people stand up at their eulogy all they’re going to say is, “Yeah, that guy John, he worked his butt off. We never really saw him. In fact, I really don’t know anything about him.”

Maybe they’ll get 20 people showing up, but who wants that? People want to be able to stand up and say, “Hey, this is what you stood for, this is what you believed. These are your passions and these are your hearts.” I want you to write that down, write your eulogy three years from now. I hope it’s much longer than that, but let’s imagine it’s three years from now. What are these three individuals going to say about you?

If it doesn’t align with what you want, what you want right now in your life for your story to be, then I want you to make changes. What are those changes you can make in this moment? The decisions you make today that can change that alignment? That’s it for me. I’m going to get back to the beach right now, but I wanted to share this with you. Remember, go over to AuthorOfYourOwnStory.com. We’re opening up the doors again for our university.

Now this university is going to include an MP3 player that’s designated, a journal, all the journal exercises you need for each and every month. These are going to be mailed to you, but they’re also going to be available to you digital downloads and we’re going to be meeting online each and every week to go deep, deep dives into this subject matter.

This is almost as deep as I go with my six figure clients who are paying me six figures to coach with me in these same practical applications. I’m going to share them with you on a massive scale. Get over there today. We only have a limited number of seats and I want to make sure you get in. That opens September first. That’s it for me today. Remember, go out and be the author of your own story.

If you like these daily growth hacks, it would mean the world to us if you would take a moment to subscribe and review us on iTunes!

I want to talk to you about something that’s really not a secret, but something that most people aren’t utilizing, or are at least under-utilizing, and that’s the power of visualization, and more important, the power of visualization right before you go to bed.

When you think about it, CEOs, athletes, people from all walks of life that have been successful have utilized visualization as a success tool. One way that they do this is, right before bed, they’re going to visualize themselves being successful at whatever endeavor they’re embarking on right before they go to sleep. Why is this important? Well, this is important because, when you go to sleep, your mind’s subconscious is going to process the last thing that you were thinking about. The last thing that was in your mind is something that you’re going to be thinking about while you’re sleeping.

For a lot of you, this is going to be an action movie. This is going to be a series on TV that you saw. Unfortunately, it’s going to be something that’s going to be violent. It’s going to be something that’s depressing. Look at most of the popular shows on TV right now are on Netflix. There are shows about rape, murder, crime.

Maybe the bad guy gets caught, but a lot of times, the bad guy is the alter ego hero that we’re watching. Think of shows like Breaking Bad or things along those lines. These are the last thoughts that go into your mind, and they’re often depressing. They depress you. They depress your central nervous system. They depress your thoughts and your feelings.

Now, one trick that almost every successful person … I say almost because I haven’t asked everybody, but every successful person that I’ve ever asked, they do a visualization technique before going to bed. You can even see people like UFC fighter Conor McGregor. He talks about this. You can check YouTube and find him on there. He talks about, “I visualize the win way before it happens, so by the time I’m actually even going to the weigh in or the press conference, I’m cocky because I know I’ve already won. I can see it in my opponent’s eyes. I’ve already mentally replayed the belt going on me or what have you,” him actually winning. Now, this could be you.

Maybe one of your goals is to start your own business, or maybe it’s to be a millionaire, or maybe it’s to have six-pack abs. Whatever it is, it’s up to you. What I want you to do is, right before you go to sleep, I want you to think about that. Visualize the success, not the journey, but the success. What is it like when you’re at that successful point? For example, I’ll use six-pack abs. I want you to look at that. I want you to picture yourself with six-pack abs.

Not only that, I want you to feel those abs, really mentally feel that ab. How do your clothes fit? What does it feel like when your clothes are brushing across your body and you have this lean, muscular body, depending on what your goal is? What are people saying? Are they looking at you but are looking at you differently? I bet they would. How do you feel? What’s the energy like? In order to get six-pack abs, you’re going to have to have a tremendous amount of energy, which is just going to snowball upon itself. How’s your self-confidence? What are people saying? If you have a significant other, how are they feeling? I’m going to guess pretty good.

What I want you to do is visualize this, but before that even happens, grab your journal right now. Write out your Five to Thrive, your mind, your body, your soul, your relationships, and your business. I want you to come up with your goals in each of those five categories. Now, you’re going to look at each of those five categories and visualize yourself achieving each of those five at the same time, at the absolute same time. What’s happening? What does it look like when you’ve actually achieved it? What is the air like? Is it cold? Is it warm? Who’s around you? Are you listening to these Daily Growth Hacks in your ears? Here we are in our 60s, maybe it’s 100 by the time you’ve achieved it, or maybe it’s 71. I don’t know. Be as specific as possible. The more specific you are about your surroundings, and what it’s like, and what it feels like viscerally to actually achieve these goals, the more likely you are to achieve them and be pulled in that direction.

Again, here’s my tip for you today and what I’d like you to do, your action step. Remember, you’re listening to these. You’re taking the time to better yourself. Do the work. Do the steps necessary. It’s easy to put these ideas in your head and then just not do anything about it. This is your chance, where the rubber meets the road, the chance for you to do the work, and that’s what I want you to do. Grab your journal. Write our your Five to Thrive. Write what you want to achieve in each of those five areas, and be specific.

Now, each night before you go to bed, you’re going to visualize, the last thing you’re going to do. Visualize yourself, the success of achieving these things, achieving these goals, all five of them, and I want you to be specific. I want to know dates, times. I want to know what it feels like. Who’s with you? Where are you? Geez, get passionate about it before you go to sleep. Put a smile on your face. Go to sleep with positive energy.

I can guarantee you that, within 30 days, you’re going to notice a huge change in your amount of sleep, the way you wake up, the way you feel, and the way that you’re starting to really be pulled towards these goals. Things are going to come towards you. It’s going to seem serendipitous. It’s going to seem like it’s on a chance that, all of a sudden, these goals start happening and things start aligning, but I’m here to tell you it’s not by chance. You’re subconsciously aligning yourself to be pulled in that direction.

If you like these daily growth hacks, it would mean the world to us if you would take a moment to subscribe and review us on iTunes!