Darcy Curry, Author at Author of Your Own Story

Falling Out Of The Raft

Just yesterday, my brother and his family and I decided to go whitewater rafting. They’re visiting my wife and my son and me here in Central Oregon. We decided it’d be a great excursion, and it was. Now we got to the destination at the foot of the river and we met our river guides. There, they went through the typical safety check, telling us exactly what to expect and what we could be doing. Now, most of this float was gentle, you know, class one to two Rapids, so nothing really to worry about. Nonetheless, you’re still going down a wild river.

As we were going down the second part of the river, we hit a set of rapids that didn’t look too daunting, but all of a sudden out of nowhere we hit a rock. When we hit the rock I fell back, my nephew fell into my lap, and my brother popped out into the water. Now, we were still going down the rapids and he was caught in an eddy, so we were probably a good 30 or 40 feet away from him. We tried to stick out a paddle to give him a hand but just couldn’t happen.

Now, his family was worried, but of course, I’m his sibling so I was laughing. You know, I knew he would be safe, but I also was happy my brother fell out. On top of that, a second thing happened. As he was floating down we caught up with him. He put his head up, his chest out, his feet were up, he did everything he was instructed to do by the guides through the safety check. He got to the raft, we pulled him in, asked him how he was doing, he said fine.

One thing he said was really interesting. He said, “You know what? I didn’t really panic at all. The reason I didn’t panic is that I decided earlier in the trip to jump into the water.” What happened was, earlier the guides asked everybody when we stopped and said, “Hey look, if you want to jump in and float down, you can.” This is the second coldest river in Oregon; it was cold, and only a few of us actually jumped in the water. Yes, it was a shock. Once we were in the water we started to acclimatize really quickly. That shock started to wear off. Then we safely swam back to our boats and then we continued our journey.

What my brother said is, “Geez, had I not done that and I fell into the river and not actually experienced beforehand the level of cold, I probably would have panicked. Since I had already been in the water since I had already been in that cold I didn’t panic at all, and instantly remembered exactly what the guide said. Chest out, legs up, head above water, and I just floated down through the rapids.”

I started to think to myself, “Wow, that’s really interesting.” See, he could have easily panicked, and most people do. People put their feet down because they think, “Hey, I could stand up here. Because it’s cold I want to get up and out as soon as possible,” and that causes a thing called foot entrapment, and foot entrapment’s the most dangerous thing on the river because your feet can get trapped and the current is taking you down, and you can actually fall, go face first and get stuck right in the water. It didn’t happen to my brother because he had already experienced the coldness of the water and was able to think clearly.

Also, today I was on a coaching call with another coach. He was telling me about a client of his. A seven figure business earner who lost everything, and now was building it back up. One of the things that struck me was, you know what? That business owner had already experienced both the gain of that seven figure business, but also the loss. He’d experienced it so he knows what to expect down the way and can do it at a much calmer pace.

I also thought, “Gee, this also reminds me of people in the fitness industry who are constantly working to better their bodies. The way they look, the way they feel.” They had actually already done some of the work and have already had that experience. They’ve already failed multiple times, and therefore they don’t fear the actual failure itself.

I’m asking you today, in your Five to Thrive, where have you been falling into the river? Where have you been tossed out of the raft, and you’re okay because, you know what, in the past, you’ve already been in the water? You know what that experience is like. Then what I really want you to think about is, where on that Five to Thrive are you scared that you’re going to get tossed out because you don’t know what to expect? That’s what the lesson really is. Where is it that you’re holding back, you’re holding on because you’re scared? You’re scared of losing because you actually haven’t been in the water before.

Then I’m going to encourage you to jump in that water. Jump in that water one way, shape or form. Take an action today, take a small action today to test the water so you know what to expect, so you know what to expect if it fails. If you’re launching a new product, think about, “What’s the worst case scenario here?” What if that product doesn’t launch, what’s the absolute worst case scenario? Chances are, it’s much, much better than you actually think. The worst case scenario is only worse in our minds. If we actually rehearse that worst case scenario and really look at it, we actually can eliminate that barrier to entry and let us jump into the water a lot quicker.

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If You Don’t Speak the Language You Don’t Get What You Want

Earlier this year, I went down to Columbia. I went down to Columbia for a spiritual experience. Went down to Perodua Yage in the middle of the Amazon jungle, an amazing experience that I recommend to many people, not to everybody, but to many.

Now while I was down there, I was trying to communicate with my broken Spanglish the best that I could and oftentimes it would lead to miscommunications and I wasn’t able to actually get the end result that I wanted, because I couldn’t speak the language.

This is partially the reason that I have set the goal and I made a public announcement that I’m going to learn to speak Spanish. I’ve taken five years in school, but I don’t really speak the language. I haven’t put for the study in these later years of my life. Now, what does this mean? Doug, what does this have to do with the story or the Daily Growth Hacks?

Well, this also applies with your Five to Thrive. Where else do you not speak the language, so in your body, do you not understand the physiological terms necessary to get your end results? Can you not pick up a label and read it to see what’s healthy and what’s not? Where are you not speaking the language?

What about your business, your finances? You know, when I talk to a lot of business owners about their finances, as soon as I bring up financial terms, you can see their eyes just go ahead and shut back into their heads. They roll back and they glaze over. They don’t want to deal with it and they wonder why their business is failing. I was there too.

So I actually went out and made flash cards of financial terms, because it was something I hadn’t studied before. I really looked. I started reading the Wall Street Journal. I started asking people I know who are fluent in the language of finance, different terms, different keys, just so I could understand how to manage my money.

In relationships, with my wife, I had to learn to speak her language, her love language, but also the language that communicated to her. Early on in our relationship, we would get in an argument as all couples do, and she would say, “You’re just not hearing me,” or, “I just don’t feel heard, Doug.” And I would be like, “Geez. I’m telling you exactly what I’m seeing,” or, “… exactly what I want and why aren’t you understanding me?”

It’s because I didn’t speak her language. I didn’t, at that time, or take the time to learn her language. Now, this is six years later, and I can speak her language fluently and I do it often. Now every time we get into an argument or an upset this allows us to clear it up in a flash. That’s the advantage of speaking someone else’s language.

This also occurs with spirituality. If you’re a Muslim, if you’re a Jew, if you’re a Christian or if you’re just a spiritual person who loves to meditate, do you speak that faith or that religion or that spiritual practice? Do you speak the language? And if not, why not? My guess is that you’re stalling because you’re not speaking it fluently.

Now this is just like my experience at Colombia or just like my experience with Spanish. There are times where I just really don’t want to study, but I’ll put on a song in Spanish, or I’ll put on something else because you’ve got to do the work. You have to do the work to get it fluent and to get that fluency you also need to practice any language.

So I’m going to ask you today to pull out your journal. Where in your mind, your body, your soul, your relationships, and your business are you falling short because you don’t speak the language? You don’t speak the language that is necessary to take you to the next level. Then, once you’ve identified those next areas, I want you to take action now, action in this moment, action to move forward.

And if you’re saying, “Doug, I don’t know what action to take,” go ahead and post something in the Author of Your Own Story group and we’ll help you. Use your resources and your resourcefulness and that’s what we’re here for. This is a community. We’re bringing people together so we all can grow and so you can be the author of your own story.

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Paralysis By Analysis

I found myself in a state of complete paralysis. You see what happened is a couple years ago my wife and I sat down and really created the life of our dreams. We truly became the authors of our own story. Within doing this, it created a subset of problems. Now I say problems because these aren’t even first world problems. They’re pretty laughable, really. What we did is we actually moved to beautiful Bend, Oregon to explore the area and got a beautiful house right in the heart of downtown. Now our lease is coming up and now we’ve got a decision to make. Do we renew the lease? Do we get a house somewhere else? Or do we take our adventure van out and explore the United States?

You see, we have the opportunity to pack everything up, explore the United States, or build community right here in Bend, Oregon. Or move some place else. See our options are endless. And what this does is creates almost too much analysis. The pros, the cons. Because we want to do it all. And what has happened, or what it’s caused, I should say, is actually it’s caused paralysis. Now when I started thinking about this and I was journaling about this this morning, I started laughing.

I started laughing because recently I had a trip to Santa Barbara where I have a lot of friends, a lot of business associates. And we were talking about courses they were taking, things they were trying to do, movements they wanted to make in their business. And they were in the analysis stage. They were buying courses, they were studying, they were seeking out experts but they weren’t moving forward. And that’s where I started laughing because I was doing the same thing. I saw it in them and it was crystal clear. I would tell them, hey look, maybe you’re over analyzing the situation and what you want to do is take your first step. Take your first action.

You see, but I was doing the exact same thing. I was doing the same thing with where do we want to live? Where do we want to go? What do we want to experience as a new family?

Now when I look back, I’ve done this in all kinds of areas. When I look at the five to thrive, your body, as a trainer, I used to train people. I look at this all the time. They wanted to know, geez, how many grams of magnesium should I be getting, Doug? How many grams of protein? How many of this? How many of that? When in reality I just wanted to say just start by moving your body. You’ve been sedentary for ten years, don’t worry about this. You’re worrying about the details. You’re over analyzing and it’s not allowing you to start. So on your body, how often are you waiting for the perfect workout? Are you waiting for the perfect diet? You’re waiting for this to happen, you’re waiting for that rather than just doing the work. Rather than just starting.

In your mind, how often are you waiting for the perfect time to sit down and read a book? Perfect time to take a course? Or if you’re like me, maybe you’re reading too much. Maybe you’re reading too many books, taking too many courses, rather than picking one avenue to focus on.

Look in your soul. What are you doing? Is it not the perfect time, do you not know how to meditate? Are you taking meditation courses? Where are you over analyze these things? Maybe with your religion. Maybe you’re Christian and you’re over analyzing what you should be doing properly in your Bible Study or in your courses or what church you should be going to. It’s really up to you. It’s faith, right?

In your business, are you over analyzing things? Have you not made that hire yet because you’ve made it too hard to find the right person? Perhaps you’ve gone out there and you’ve over analyzed all these job sites and you just haven’t figured out just the basics of networking just to bring somebody in. You’ve over analyzed the situation. And because of that over analyzing the situation, you’ve been in a state of paralysis.

You see, I’ve been through this many, many times. And I’m sure you can relate to this in your own lives. In your relationships, in your mind, your body, your soul, and in your business. So today I’m gonna ask you to pull out your journal. Really do this. Write down mind, body, soul, relationships, and business. And where in those areas are you in a state of paralysis because you’ve been over analyzing? Are you taking marketing course after marketing course after marketing course rather than starting your own agency or rather than pushing it forward in your own business? Or just hire an expert? Do what you do best and hire out the rest, right?

Or where in your relationship are you over analyzing what the other person should be doing? You know, he or she should be doing this, this, this, and this, rather than just working on yourselves. You see, all of us fall into this time and time again. Whether you’re like me and you’re over analyzing where you should go in the next month, where should you want to be? All our problems are equal because they’re our problems. Regardless of how in depth they may be.

So I want you to write this down. I’d love to hear from you. So go over to the author of your own story community and share your results. Share it with a community of people that are just like you. Remember together we can keep growing. That’s it for me today. Remember, go out and be the Author of Your Own Story.

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A Rising Tide Lifts All Boats

Now, I got a message on Facebook and I get quite a few messages on Facebook from listeners, and I appreciate them all, so thank you. But, this message I took as very interesting, this message asked, “Doug, I’ve been listening to The Daily Growth Hacks for several weeks now. I went back and binged them all.” Now, I love that and I think that’s a great idea if you’re new to The Daily Growth Hacks, I highly recommend doing the same.

But then he goes on to say, “What I really want to do is have my brother listen to them, and get him to change. I want him to register for The Author Of Your Own Story University because it sounds like the perfect fit.” Now, this gentleman’s name is Carlos, so Carlos, I’ll address you directly. Instead of replying to your message, I’m going to do it right here on The Daily Growth Hack. Now see, the problem here Carlos, is you can’t force anybody to do anything they don’t want to. You can lead a horse to water, as the saying goes, but you can’t make it drink.

What I mean by this, you can’t make somebody change. This happens all too often in relationships, especially with a spouse trying to change their other significant other, right? How often do we want somebody else to change, because we see the greatness inside them? We see what they could become. Or maybe they’re just annoying the crap out of us and we just want them to change cause we’re right. And if that’s the case, go back to a previous Author Of Your Story Daily Growth Hack, and listen to the one where it talks about, do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? Because that’s applicable here too.

But in this example, when I’m talking to Carlos, Carlos yes, you want your brother to grow and I love that. So what can you do? Well, what you can do is be the example. Be the example for who he wants to become. I remember talking to my brother many years ago, asking him about Christianity. What does it mean to be a Christian? Really, how come he doesn’t go around and really talk about it a lot and try to convert so many people? And he said something to me that I deeply respect and stuck with me. He said, “Doug, the best thing that I can do is be Christ-like. I can be an example and then people will want to follow what I’m doing.”

Now, this stuck with me and it happened many years ago, but this applies. It’s not just to do with religion, but it applies to you, it applies to everybody. What are you doing now to make people inspired? To make them want to rise? As the tide rises, it’s going to lift everything around it, just like you. Now Carlos, as you’re growing, as your brother sees your life changing if you’re actually taking action at the end of each of these Daily Growth Hacks like I ask you to do. If you’re taking action, the results will show for themselves.

Plus, you can’t expect someone to change just because they see you changing one day or one week or even one month, it takes time. And they have to do it when they’re ready. But by being around somebody who’s actively up-leveling and raising their thermometer, raising their game, it inspires. Everybody wants to do it. You know, if you ever play competitive sports and you’ve played with a group of people that are just, better than you, you play better. But the same thing happens if you play with people that are worse than you, you play worse.

So, another example that a lot of you can probably relate to, if you’re constantly hanging out with people that are going to the bars every night, you go to the bars. But if you’re also constantly hanging out or instead of, constantly hanging out with people who are going home, putting in work, doing that extra hustle, or going hiking, whatever it may be, you will tend to do the same things.

Now for your brother, or those listening, this could be anybody, right? Anybody relationship you’re in if you’re bettering yourself, if you’re being the example, you become the rising tide that lifts all the boats around them. You can’t sign anybody else up for Author Of Your Own Story University, you can only do that for yourself, and then show them by being the example itself. I’d love to be able to do the work for people, I can’t. You won’t get the benefits. And in this case, Carlos, your brother won’t get the benefits.

Now, of course, I’m not just talking to Carlos here, I’m talking to you the listener or somebody watching this right now. Where in your relationships are you trying to change other people, rather than focusing on yourself? Now see, it sounds selfish, but focusing on yourself allows you to pour into other people. It allows you to be the inspiration. It allows you to show them what’s possible. It allows you to raise them up. I’ve experienced this so often in my own life, and I’ve seen it be experienced in other people’s relationships as well.

This is where you get to pay it forward. This is where you, the listener, get to pay it forward by being the author of your own story and inspiring other people. Wherever you are, watching or listening to this, I’m going to encourage you to write down five people. Now, these are five people you think would benefit from these Daily Growth Hacks. Pick these five people and listen to The Daily Growth Hacks with them. Make it part of your daily conversation. Don’t force them, listen to it and explain to them from the heart, why you’re listening to these. Why you want to be better. Don’t try to fix them, go about it by sharing. Sharing with love.

That’s what I have for you today. Get your journal out, write down your five people. Who are five people you would like to continue this journey with? Maybe they’re not on the same path but, they share loyalty with you. They share other traits that you just love. Keep with them, don’t just give up on people. Keep with them, but don’t do it to change them, do it to inspire. You can be the inspiration that they can see, and again, be that rising tide that lifts all boats.

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Embrace the Suck

Now what I’m talking about when I say “embrace the suck”, is really that any change, any growth happens on the other end of adversity. You don’t expand and grow unless you’re challenging yourself, pushing yourself, or just doing something different. So, when you think about embrace the suck, what you’re really thinking about is, “How can I be better? How can I take a situation that currently sucks, or are just not enjoying it, or maybe it’s just a little bit difficult. And how do I take that situation and push a little bit further?”

Now this is just a mindset change. This happens often in relationships, at least that’s where I use it. When I encounter a difficult person or somebody who I think just sucks, what I do is I think, “Geez, thank you to them for being here in front of me because this is an opportunity for me to grow as a person.” Now I can take this adverse relationship, the person could be angry, upset, rude, whatever it is, and find out more about him. Find out ways that I can be better to flip the script, to make the story end differently. To make the story end the way I want it to end. Now this doesn’t happen every time, but I will tell you, about 90% of the time, I’m able to turn that person, or at least turn the situation around to benefit me. Not in a manipulative way, when I say “benefit me”, it benefits me in the sense that I get to grow. I get to learn.

For example, if someone’s angry, or upset, I get to find out what it is they’re upset about, really listen to them, which is tough at the time right? Because you’re triggered, you’ll get upset if they’re upset at you or the situation you don’t agree with. But when you stop and think, “Gosh, thank this person for being here in front of me.” Then take the time to listen to them and figure out what’s really going on. What you’re going to find is they’re going to calm down. Because all they really wanted to do is be heard, most likely, and then you can look at their situation and now that you’ve built rapport, and if you aren’t familiar with rapport, go back to a previous Growth Hack and look that up. But now you’re at rapport with them, now you can have a conversation. A conversation on an equal playing field and really get to know their point of view, but even more importantly, allow them to get to know yours and possibly change their paradigm. Because they may be in an emotional response, and they also might not be as emotionally fit as you are.

Because all they really wanted to do is be heard, most likely, and then you can look at their situation and now that you’ve built rapport, and if you aren’t familiar with rapport, go back to a previous Growth Hack and look that up. But now you’re at rapport with them, now you can have a conversation. A conversation on an equal playing field and really get to know their point of view, but even more importantly, allow them to get to know yours and possibly change their paradigm. Because they may be in an emotional response, and they also might not be as emotionally fit as you are.

Now also in other relationships, people can trigger you, they can upset you, this is just a great chance to say, “Ugh, thank you for allowing this person to be in front of me, because now I’m really practicing restraint, you know, so I don’t hit this person.” As I get older I find that more and more. Just really restraining myself and just coming back to more of a zen focus. The more I do that, it builds my muscle. It builds my muscle just as if I was working out, and allows me to be a better person.

Now I can also apply this to my body, of course, embrace the suck. Almost any workout I do. I’m going to challenge and push myself. Your muscles grow bigger by applying more force, impose demands. They have the SAID principle in physiology. It’s Specific Adaptation to Imposed Demands. Now, this is an exercise physiology principle, basically says, “Embrace the suck! Look, you have to push harder in order to grow, in order to improve.”

Now, also in your spirituality. If you’re like me, meditation’s been difficult in the past. That’s why I took a 10-day, no talking silent meditation. That really pushed it. That flexed my muscles. I was going from only being able to meditate for 10 minutes at a time, to meditate all day. Now that really was an extreme example, but it’s a way that you can do it. Now you can do this with your mind too just by simply reading. For some of you I’ve talked to, like, “Hey Doug, I don’t like to read. I like audio books.” I love that, I do too. But by reading, if I’ve only read a page at night before my eyes get tired, if I keep doing that, eventually it’s two pages, three pages, then it’s a chapter. Then I’m able to really fully expand myself and read as much as I want or read until I just don’t feel the desire. It’s not really a mental or a muscle issue.

This also happens with relationships, like I just told you, but really where I see this happening the most with my clients, is in their business. You know, you can embrace the suck in your business. Businesses have ebbs and flows, we know that. If you’re a business owner, you really know that. But if you’re also an entrepreneur or somebody who’s working within a business, this is your chance to embrace the suck as well and really grow.

If something’s happening where you’re working or in your own business that you’re not loving, what I want you to do is go into it, dive a little deeper, dive deeper with the flow though. Embrace it. Now, this is kind of what Bruce Lee talks about as “Being in flow with water.” Being in flow with it rather than resisting. The more you resist, the more you fight it, the harder it becomes and the more it’s going to push back against you.My tip for you today is where in your Five to Thrive, now I want you to write this down, grab your journals, write it down, your Five to Thrive, where are you fighting versus embracing the suck.

Now once you’ve identified those areas you’re fighting, I want you to consciously just release, surrender into it. And I want to know how it feels for you. I want to know how each of these sections, once you truly surrender, what happens. My guess is you’re going to see expansion in all areas, but I want to know. Shoot me an email, or go over the Author of Your Own Story community group and send a message. Let everybody else know. You are inspiring more people than you know, and I appreciate it.

My tip for you today is where in your Five to Thrive, now I want you to write this down, grab your journals, write it down, your Five to Thrive, where are you fighting versus embracing the suck. Now once you’ve identified those areas you’re fighting, I want you to consciously just release, surrender into it.

And I want to know how it feels for you. I want to know how each of these sections, once you truly surrender, what happens. My guess is you’re going to see expansion in all areas, but I want to know. Shoot me an email, or go over the Author of Your Own Story community group and send a message. Let everybody else know. You are inspiring more people than you know, and I appreciate it.

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Case of the Mondays

Today I’m going to talk a little bit about your soul, and kind of in an abstract point of view. Now, if you’ve ever seen Office Space, you know when the woman talks about it. She says, “Oh, you’ve got a case of the Mondays.” Or something along those lines. Now I love the movie, and I haven’t seen it in awhile, but it always plays in my head when I heard somebody complain about the work week coming up.

Now a typical work week, Monday through Friday, and I know a lot of you listening are already living the author of your own story lifestyle, and have created a lifestyle outside of that typical work week. But I also see on social media, as well as talking to friends, that they talk about, “Ah man, the weekends over. Yeah.” They’re so bummed, and they’re bummed because they’re going back to work, and they’re actually depressed. To think about it, they actually only get two days of happiness, two days to look forward to out of a seven day week. That means five of those days, the majority of their week is something that they actually aren’t looking forward to. This is science, this is a problem.

If you find yourself waking up on Monday having a case of the Mondays, and yeah, of course, we all have them from time to time. It might not be Monday, it could be Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday even. But if you wake up in the morning and you’re regularly having a case of the Mondays, this is something that you need to look into. This is a sign. this is a breadcrumb on the road to life if you ask me. this is a sign that you need to take a 90-degree pivot and go a different direction. this is a sign that you need to step up and truly be the author of your own story. If you’re having a case of the Mondays, I can tell you right now, you aren’t being the author of your own story.

Now I’m not here to put you down. What I’m here to do is just put a mirror in front of you as a reflection and let you know, “Hey look. If you’re not doing what you love, you should be doing something different.” A perfect example is Billy who edits these videos for us. An amazing man. He took a 90-degree pivot. He wasn’t happy at his job and really wanted to do video editing. He does a fantastic job at it. We’re so lucky to have him on our team. Just like you, I’m going to ask you, where in your five to thrive are you having a case of the Mondays? Is it in your mind? Do you not want to learn that language, or do you not want to read that book? Maybe that book or that language isn’t really calling to you, and why do you want to do it?

Or is it your body? Do you wake up on a regular basis just hating working out? Maybe you should pick a different form of exercise, or maybe you just absolutely hate your diet. Well, change it up. There are a million ways to get to your end goal. Your soul, I know so many people that I talk to in my coaching life or just even other coaches that I just have conversations with that hate meditation. Then why are you doing it? There’s a lot of ways to calm, relax the body. What is the outcome you’re looking for? If you’re using meditation in this example, just relax. There are things like box breathing, going for a walk, there are all kinds of alternatives that are out there.

Maybe it’s relationships, maybe you have a case of the Mondays so to speak because of it actually … Your case of the Mondays happens on Saturday ’cause you’re home with a significant other that you don’t love anymore. What are you doing to spark that relationship? What are you doing to step forward? What could possibly be missing? Maybe it is time to cut ties, who knows? Or your business. Maybe you’re a business owner and you have a case of the Mondays because it’s too much work, or your employees aren’t doing enough. Are they really not? Very rarely is it employee’s fault. Usually, falls into the hands of the business owner, or you’ve lost that passion. That passion for what you do.

Hey, there’s sometimes when you just need to put the work in, and that’s okay. But knowing the difference between a case of the Mondays, and actually just having to step up. What I want you to do right now. Pull out your journal, write down your five to thrive. Your mind, your body, your soul, your relationships, and your business. Write down any place you’re having a case of the Mondays. Now I want you to do, right now in this moment, is take action and change it. Do one small thing to make that 90-degree turn, and make that change.

If it’s your body, reach out to somebody else. Maybe you don’t like working out in the way you’re doing it, do yoga, do Pilates, try something else. Run, get together with friends, play sports. Whatever it is for you. Maybe it’s your job. Maybe you just hate the place you work. Well, then what I want you to do is find five reasons you’re grateful for that place. Find five things you love about it, and focus on those five. During that time, look for a pivot. Look for a different alternative for yourself. Maybe it’s your paradigm, or maybe it is the place you work. I don’t know. Write down those five to thrive. That’s where it all starts.

That’s it for me today. I really hope you don’t have a case of the Mondays. If you do, go over to TheAuthorofYourOwnStory.com community. There are plenty of people just like you here to cheer you up, and also give you a little kick in the butt. Come join the tribe.

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Grow Your Business

Jay Abraham has something he talks about, which is your three ways to grow a business. Now, this is something that I use in all of my businesses on a regular basis, but I especially use it for my strategic planning, and when I’m forming my 90-day goals.

So it’s very simple, and it’s going to require you to actually write some things down. So grab a blank piece of paper, and if you have your own business, you’re going to need to do some research with this, but first thing, that … What are the three ways? Well, the three ways are: To increase the number of customers. So, obviously, the number of customers or clients you have, increasing That base is one way. Number two is to increase the average transactional value. So, if somebody’s buying one widget, can you get them to buy another?

One way to think about this is when you’re going to a grocery store. How often are you waiting in that line to check out, and you grab a pack of gum, or a magazine, or something else that’s there, “Oh, yeah, that’s right, I do need batteries,” or whatever it may be, a drink, you’re grabbing it with that? Another way to think about it is, “Hey, would you like fries with that?” McDonald’s has done a great way, and so have the other fast food industries, as well as restaurants, in upgrading you. It’s an easy upgrade. Or, commonly, “Hey, would you like avocado?” “Well, of course, I want avocado.” “Well, that’s another $1.50.” Now, none of us know why it’s an extra $1.50, but either way, they’re increasing the transactional value of each customer or client.

So, that’s the second way. The third way is to increase the frequency of repurchasing, so increase the frequency that people are buying from you. Those are the three solid ways you can increase your business. So what do we do? Step one, write down in a box, so you’re going to have boxes across your paper; one box is, “How many customers do you have?” How many clients or customers do you have? Then the second box, what I want to know is, “What’s the average transactional value?” What’s the average amount the average customer spends at your establishment, your business? Whether it be through your website or your brick-and-mortar store, what’s the average sale? In the third box, what I want you to put in there is, “What is actually the number of repeat buys you get?”

Is it a subscription-based model, or do people … Maybe you’re selling mattresses and they only come in every couple years to buy something, I’m not sure. Whatever it is, how often do they actually buy something else? And then you’re going to have a total. So you’re going to have, you’ll take box one, multiply it by box two, then multiply it by box three, and that’s going to equal your total. That’s your total value, right? The value during the year. So then, what I want you to do is take box one. So remember, box one is the number of clients or customers you have. Multiply that by 10% and put that number under. Can you grow your business in a year by 10% in the number of people? Can you reach, if you have 100 clients, do you think you can get 10% more? I certainly hope so.

I mean, that’s really less than one extra client a month, that shouldn’t be too difficult for you. So write that number down. We’ll use 100 at the first example, your next box should be 110. Not tough. And now, we’re going to look at, again, what’s the average transactional value? Let’s go take that number and multiply that by 10%, right? So you’re going to multiply that by 10%. Now, again, maybe you sell mattresses, we’ll go back to that analogy, because I could see somebody saying, “Hey, Doug, I sell mattresses — people don’t come in, the transactional value’s a mattress.” BS. You can sell sheets, you could sell pillows, you could sell pillow cases, you can sell warranties … there are all kinds of things. Dentists …

My dentist sells upgrades all the time. “Hey, would you like a dental plan? Would you like a whitening program? Would you like to get on our program where we deliver toothpaste to your door every week?” There are all kinds of ways of increasing the transactional value of a client. If you can deliver value, you can increase that transactional value as well. Just come in with like-minded products. Something else you might want to think of is coming up with products and bundling. In other words, maybe you have a personal training studio, and you can go over to another … A chef. He does meal delivery, and you can work together and bundle that up. It’s not even your product, it’s the chef’s product, but you bundle it in, and you get a 20% discount from the chef, and you take that 20% to your clients.

Your clients get a great package, they get food delivered to their home, and you make a little bit of your effort. That increases the transactional value. The third way is the repeat of a buyer. How can you get them into a subscription model? How can you get them into something else? Maybe you’re that mattress guy and you’re like, “Okay, well people buy every two years.” Well, maybe you say, “Hey, look, if you come back and buy a new mattress in a year, I’m going to go ahead and give you X discount,” or whatever it may be. Or maybe you’re that dentist and you want people to come in more often. If there is a legitimate reason, now, there should be … Always go with integrity first. The legitimate reason you can increase that transactional efficiency, or the repeat buying, the better, right?

You want them to come back and buy from you more often. And maybe it’s by offering different services. So, again, personal trainer, you can offer massage, you can offer all kinds of different things. I know personal trainers that offer strictly stretching classes and recovery classes on the weekends. Their clients are coming in all week, and usually, they go, “Hey, the weekend’s here. No one wants to work out, I want them to rest,” so instead of them taking the weekend off, what they did is they developed programs for rest. I thought it was brilliant, it’s a genius program. They’re getting their clients, or delivering more value to their clients, their clients need to be resting, and they’re increasing the frequency as well as the transactional value.

So can you upgrade those all by 10%? So once you’ve taken those numbers and you’ve multiplied them together … So a 10% increase in customers or clients, 10% increase in transactional value, and a 10% increase in the repeat purchasing power, so the number of times they come back and buy from you … That is such a small percentage. If you can’t increase your business by 10% across those three areas, shut the doors. In all seriousness, it should be pretty easy to do, that should be a pretty easy growth strategy. Now, think about this: If you do increase all 10%, you’re really increasing your business by 33.1%. I’ll say that one more time, because it’s impressive: If you take your business and increase it 10% across those three areas, clients, transactional, average transactional value, and repeat purchases, you then, by the end of the year, you’ve [increased 00:06:11] … or end of the time, whatever it is — but a year in this example — you’ve increased your business by 33.1%.

That’s amazing. Very doable, very sustainable. Now, let’s say, instead of 10%, we’re a little bit more ambitious. We’re like, “Hey, Doug, I can do it. I’m a hustler, I got this. I have a great product, a great service. I’m going to increase it by 20% because that’s what I do.” Now, if you increased all three areas by 20%, you’re now looking at a 72.8% increase in your business. Now, you’ve heard me enough in these Daily Growth Hacks, you know I’m crazy, and I go more, “10%, no problem. 20%, I can do that. 33%, that’s what I’m going to do. I’m really going to go in, get my team motivated, we’re going to increase our business by 33%.”

And we’ve done this with our marketing agency, as well as with our old fitness business. Increasing it by 33%, that’s a 150% increase in your business over that time period — in this example of course of one year. Let me say that again: 150%. Now, most people you talk to are just struggling to increase 2, 3, 4% to stay ahead of inflation, and that’s ridiculous. That’s survival mode. And most likely, it’s a lack of information and resourcefulness. Take Jay Abraham’s, “Three Ways To Grow Your Business.” Take this chart, and grow. If you have questions, go over to the Author of Your Own Story community on Facebook and post on there, I’m happy to help you out.

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Feed Your Mind Daily

Now, today we’re going to talk about the mind and specifically feeding the mind on a daily basis.

I got a message from a daily growth hack listener, Garrett, who was asking me, “Hey Doug, I love the daily growth hacks.” Thank you very much for saying that. I always love to hear whether you like it or not or what we can do to better, of course. But he said, “I love them but I also want to do a little bit more. So, what’s something else I can do on a daily basis to feed my mind? I’m just not finding something.”

What I told him is what I’m going to tell you now and share with you, is there are two things that I do on a daily basis to feed my mind. One is I read a book called A Year of Conscious Living by Gay Hendricks. Now, this book breaks it down by the dates, so you have June 1st, June 2nd, June 3rd, or September, et cetera, all through the calendar days, so it’s 365 days. What it does is it gives you a little story of Gay’s life and something he’s experienced maybe in his coaching practice or just in his own daily journaling. Then it talks about that subject. Now, often times a subject’s broken down after several days. He also gives you something to ponder, think about, or do at the end of each day.

Now, at the end of each day, they’re not always actionable items. Kind of like these daily growth hacks, I don’t always give you an actionable item, although I encourage you to journal after you listen to this. In fact, I encourage you to journal immediately after you listen to this. But what he does give you is some insights. What this does for me, it gives me something to feed my mind. I read it on Kindle because I find that to be easier. Because I can read that on my iPhone, I can read that on my iPad, my laptop, or anywhere else I am, and it also gives me topics of conversation to have with my wife or other people that I know are just operating a higher conscious level that like big talk. I say big talk because obviously, you have small talk with, how’s the weather? How’s your job?

Big talk’s when you want to talk about bigger subjects and subjects that matter. In order for me to build my tribe and my tribe is you, but it’s also other people that I think that can play at a higher level, we can have conversations that really matter. Conversations that can stimulate the brain and creativity and really get you thinking and talking and dive deeper into the human soul and the human condition.

That’s one, is A Year of Conscious Living. And then also Author of Your Own Story daily growth hack listener Eric Malzone sent me this book. He sent me The Daily Stoic. I just started reading The Daily Stoic. Absolutely love it, I can’t believe that it took me this long. There are actually 366 Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. I’m not sure why there’s 366 versus 365, I’m sure there’s a reason, I haven’t figured it out yet. But I’ve been reading this book for just over a week now and absolutely love it. It is a great companion to A Year of Conscious Living because it’s actually I think, the opposite thought process. Stoicism versus I would say, Your Conscious Living is a little bit new agey almost.

They’re very different. And I really love them. They really stimulate my conversations but also I’m able to reach out to Eric in this case and talk about The Daily Stoic or what that day was. With my wife, it could be The Year of Conscious Living. This allows me to create those people that are in my life or in my world as they’re developing, I’m in the same conversation. I’m in the same conversation they are and so we can talk the same language.

I’m doing this every single day. I miss a day here or there, that just happens but for the most part I’m getting this little 10 minutes chunks of daily inspiration or daily thoughts just like these daily growth hacks are intended to produce in my mind all the time. And then I step back and I journal about them. I think about it. When I’m on the road or I’m driving because we travel a lot, my wife and I love to explore. We’re in our adventure van, I simply record the voice notes. So maybe I’m reading it when I have a stop and instead of journaling, I take the time and I record it, I record it on my iPhone or I record it on my handy recorder which I shared in a previous daily growth hack.

These are a couple of things I do to feed my mind daily that I think you would really to enjoy. If you choose one or both of these let me know, I’d love to be in the conversation with you. In fact, we can start a conversation over at the Author of Your Own Story community and really dive deep into these higher level thought processes. Let’s have big talk and not small talk and feed our mind daily.

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You Haven’t Proven Yourself Yet

So, what do I mean by you haven’t proven yourself yet? Well, I’m talking to a specific segment of us, and I include myself in that segment. If you are constantly bettering yourself, you also are constantly changing. This is especially true if personal development or business development or just growth in general is newer to you. That means not just new that you just are first learning about it, but you’re really actually diving in.

If you’ve been listening to these Daily Growth Hacks, we’ve done over 50 of them now, and if you’ve been actually putting into action the Call to Action at the end of each of them, you have changed your life dramatically, I can guarantee that.

What happens? I’m going to tell you a story first and then I’ll come back and relate that back. I had a client of mine who I’d been working with for about three months at this time, and he called me up and he was having a problem. He said, “Doug, my daughter, she is visiting and she is such a pain. She’s driving me nuts. She’s super mean to me, she’s picking on me, she’s being rude, and she’s just being disrespectful.”

When I started working with this man, he wasn’t in his prime, admittedly so. Obviously, somebody that seeks a coach wants to get better. After we started coaching together, he started doing deeper dives. He was reading books, listening to audios, watching videos, journaling daily, doing his 90-day game. He had taken a complete 180 from the man that I met before, and it was amazing to see.

Obviously, he’s excited. He’s grasped this new life, he’s going after what previously he thought was impossible to have. He was becoming the author of his own story, and he was vibrant with energy. As a coach, nothing warms my heart more than to see that, but what happened is, his daughter was living with his baby’s mom, came to visit him. She’s about eight years old.

She comes to visit him, and now he’s this changed man. Now he wants to spend time with her, where before maybe he didn’t. He would pawn her off to somebody else. He would be disrespectful to her and to his girlfriend in front of her. He would be mean, rude, and frankly childish, in my opinion. What he did is he was now being loving, he was being honest, open, and telling her, “Hey, things have changed, I’ve changed. I’ve seen the error in my ways, and I love you.”

Of course, as anybody would do, especially an eight-year-old, she rejected it. She pushed back. I don’t believe this. She wasn’t saying this out loud, but you could tell this was going on internally. I know this only because I’ve been through this myself, and you can’t expect this eight-year-old, or anybody, this goes to your spouse too, to all of a sudden expect you to change, just because you have.

You haven’t proven yourself yet. You haven’t proven the change. It’s easy to make a change. For a lot of people listening to this you’re thinking, “Jeez, it’s hard. I’m having a hard time making a change myself,” and it might be, and I get that, and I’m with you, but the change part is actually the easy part. The hard part is keeping it up. This is just like a workout program or a diet if you’ve been on one before. Easy to start, hard to continue.

It’s only hard to continue because you give up on yourself. Your former self, the other part of you, your thermostat set so low that you actually self-destruct. You self-sabotage unless you’re staying on top of it, and that’s where this 90-day game I came up with comes in so handy because you’re able to stay on top of it day to day.

Back to his daughter: his daughter was simply saying, giving her dad a hard time, I don’t trust you. She had to push back, she had to challenge, she had to test him to make sure that he was doing the right things, and he was calling me and saying, “Doug, I need help. I don’t know what’s going on, this is ridiculous. Maybe this isn’t working.”

I just simply told him, “Look, you haven’t proven yourself. You haven’t proven yourself to be a man. You haven’t proven yourself to be a father yet.” We had a heart to heart and, frankly, a very tough conversation where I had to be real and honest with him and it hit him and he thanked me for that conversation. One week later I get a picture from him and he is backpacking in the backcountry and sends me a picture of he and his daughter laughing and having a great time.

What I told him to do is just love her even more. Just do ten times the love, ten times the compliments, ten times the man that you know you are, show it to her. Don’t just say it, and every time she tests you, know that she’s just crying for love. She’s crying to make sure that you are this new person that you claim to be because she wants this, she needs this.

She’s an eight-year-old little girl, but how often does this happen in other relationships in our lives? With your spouse. I can tell you specifically from my standpoint, this has happened between my wife and I, where I would change and she would test me and I would break down and get mad at her and yell at her, “Why don’t you believe me? I’ve made a change! I’m changing! I’m a better person!”

I would get all angry and upset, realizing actually, you know what, I hadn’t changed at all. Really I got triggered and I just blew up and I got upset right away, because how dare she test me and not believe me. But really, if I’m being the man that I claim to be, I would just roll with it and realize she was testing me because I’m solid in who I am.

I’ve done a lot of work and I’ve gotten there, and I hope you have too, and if you haven’t and you’re on your journey, just remember: when you’re strong within yourself and you’re changing, remember the people around you are going to have to wait to see those results. You can’t just change and expect people to take away that 20 years of being the jerk or the 20 years of being the liar or the 20 years of being lazy or the 20 years of being the person who’s always the comedian making fun of people, whatever it may be for you. You can’t just expect them to change overnight because you’ve made the change.

In your relationships, in your marriage, if you’ve been a jerk for ten years and now you’ve seen the light and you want to be the true king or maybe a queen in your relationship, you can’t expect that change to happen in a month, two months, maybe not even in a couple years, but if you’re solidified in being that person, if you really make that change, that’s not going to be a problem for you. You’re going to carry through. You’re going to be the change and show the result. Actions speak louder than words every time. Words are important, but actions always speak louder than words.

So I ask you today: in your Five to Thrive, where have you made a change and are getting pushback from somebody else, and realizing really what they’re saying is, “Show me. Show me that change consistently,” and where are you breaking down? Patch those holes up. Patch them up and realize the more solidified you get in who you are as a human, the more solidified you get on your story, how you’re being the author of your own story, the easier it becomes.

Stand in your own power. Stand in who you are, and everybody else will see it and you will shine, and if they don’t see it, it won’t matter. That’s the beauty of this. It won’t matter at all because you’re just being you. Is this the new you? Maybe. Maybe it’s really just the old you and you’ve just taken away all the crap. Stand in your power and be you and show them. Walk the walk and show them. Show them how they can become the author of their own story. You get the chance to be the inspiration. There’s nothing better. You can not only better your life, but you can better the lives of those around you.

Today my Call to Action is multi-faceted. I do want you to journal as always, I want you to break down your Five to Thrive and see where you may be breaking down and where you can actually walk the walk a little stronger, and show other people and lead with love. But also, I’m going to give you to the opportunity, or I want you take the opportunity, because I know it’s going to fulfill you: share the Daily Growth Hacks with five people you love. That’s my challenge for you. Share them with five people that you love, get them on the path.

This is going to start conversations with people that you love and people around you that matter. Conversations where you’re building your own tribe. You can talk about the same things, just like this Daily Growth Hack. Imagine if you had five close friends that were listening to this right now. You could go out and get coffee, go for a run, get a beer, whatever, and have a deep conversation about this and grow together.

Be a leader, build your tribe, and remember, as always: be the author of your own story.

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I’m talking about you

Hey, I’m talking about you. It’s kind of funny because recently since I’ve been doing these Daily Growth Hacks, we’ve done over 50 of them so far, which is pretty amazing. I’ve gotten several emails and private messages, people asking me, “Hey, is this about me? Are you talking about me on this subject? Are you talking about my story?”

Well, honestly I’m not. I’ve only really talked about clients that I currently train and work with. Chances are it’s not about you. However, yet it is. What do I mean by that? Well, what I mean by that is if something that I’m saying is touching you, is making you feel like I’m speaking about you, that means it’s triggering something inside of you. This can happen in a variety of ways. Oftentimes it happens around relationships or goals.

When I say about goals, it’s about people not achieving the goals and dreams that they have, and really are you feeling bad about yourself. Oftentimes when we get upset, just like being triggered when someone is saying something about us or we take it personally, it’s because that’s what we internalize about ourselves. That’s our own story about ourselves, and chances are if we think someone is talking about us and we think it’s a negative connotation, then that’s something that we have an issue with ourselves. We actually have a problem within ourselves about something we’re doing, or oftentimes something we’re not doing in our lives.

If you’re listening to these Daily Growth Hacks and you think, “Gosh, Doug’s talking about me,” what I want you to do is pull out your journal, write down your Five to Thrive, and write what’s triggering you. What about what I’m saying makes you think I’m talking about you? What about it upsets you? If there’s something that’s upsetting you or maybe making you think, “Geez, he’s talking about me. How does he know,” that’s something you want to address right away.

There’s multiple ways you could do it. You could address it by journaling. Journaling is about being your own coach. You can go out and hire a professional coach to help you see your blind spots. You can talk to a friend or a confidant. You can go to the author of Your Own Story University, get on the wait list. That program is going to wipe out any of these disempowering beliefs.

See, what’s happening is it’s triggering inside us a sense of not being worthy enough, a sense of not being enough. It’s not really that I’m talking about you, but I’m talking to you. I’m talking to your inner better self. With each of these Daily Growth Hacks my goal is to reach out to you and to my former self and really come at you and say, “Hey, look, how can you be the author of your own story? How can you live the life of your dreams?” If you’re not living the life of your dreams, you should be working towards that.

We all know people have problems and life can be very, very short. At a moment’s notice life can be taken away from us. I want you to live life to the fullest. I want you to be the Author of Your Own Story.

That’s it for me today. Please reach out if you have any questions. Always go to the Author of Your Own Story community, where you can get more tips and tricks there, as well as share insights with like-minded people just like yourself.

September 1st, we’re rolling out a product I’m extremely proud about. It’s the Author of Your Own Story University. Go over and get on that wait list today. We’re jampacking information each and every month. Inside you’re going to get mailed documents, papers to journal with, worksheets, we’re having weekly video calls, accountability partners and coaching all rolled up into one. We’re so proud of this. Go over today and get on that wait list for Author of Your Own Story University.

That’s it for me today. Remember, go out and be the author of your own story.

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Next Entries »

Falling Out Of The Raft

If You Don’t Speak the Language You Don’t Get What You Want

Paralysis By Analysis

A Rising Tide Lifts All Boats

Embrace the Suck

Case of the Mondays

Grow Your Business

Feed Your Mind Daily

You Haven’t Proven Yourself Yet

I’m talking about you

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