More
Select Page

Shoulds Versus Wants In Planning Your Own Story

<iframe style="border: none" src="//html5-player.libsyn.com/embed/episode/id/5725734/height/90/width/640/theme/custom/autonext/no/thumbnail/yes/autoplay/no/preload/no/no_addthis/no/direction/backward/render-playlist/no/custom-color/87A93A/" height="90" width="640" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen oallowfullscreen msallowfullscreen></iframe>

Now, part of the Author of Your Own Story university, a lot of what we talk about is forward thinking or forward planning. That is projecting yourself into the future and reverse engineering that.

What that can look like is projecting yourself two, five years in advance and looking at where you want to be. Where are you in that time capsule and then how did you get there and then we reverse engineer it and that’s how you get to that successful place. That’s just one way. Now, oftentimes, when working with high-end clients whether it be business owners, executives, or their family members, I look at all the shoulds that come up. Now, this also happens in the Author of Your Own Story university, so what I mean by should is people have this vision. Now, these are societal pressures, pressures based on family, their work environment, their friends, whatever, and they have this idea that they should be doing certain things.

Hey, I should get married. I should just stay in the area that I grew up in and get a steady job. Get a job that has some security, some health benefits, and benefits other than that, and I should just work a nine to five and that way I have weekends off. I should do this. I should do that. I should go to grad school. You can should yourself to death and we all know this, but these shoulds keep creeping in with future planning. Now, part of being the author or your own story and planning your future needs to be wants. Where do you want to go? Where you want to go is gonna motivate you. Shoulds don’t motivate you. Yeah, they look good on paper, but when you’re actually doing the work, when you’re doing the daily work that requires the stuff right behind me that I’m working on so I can go play in the mountains and I work two days a week versus taking five days off sometimes.

These are the wants that I have and how do I back into it? It motivates me. Sometimes I’m tired. Sometimes things come up with my businesses and things get crazy. Nothing’s perfect, but the wants motivate me and carry me forward. Now, I’m human, so I encounter shoulds, as well. One of the things for me is I should focus just on my coaching business. Now, my coaching business is extremely successful and it could be even more successful if I just focused on that, but my want, my want is actually to deliver this message of being able to live the life of your dreams to more people. I realize not everybody can afford $10,000 a month for one on one coaching, and that’s exactly why we developed the Author of Your Own Story university.

Now, look, it is not gonna make me as much money as one coaching client. Even if we had 100 people in there, it just isn’t. The price point’s really low because we want you to have access. Now, if I was looking at shoulds, I should not do this, but I want to. It fills my heart and it fills my soul to help people and this is what drives me forward. When I’m projecting myself two, five years in advance and then working backward, I’m making sure these are things I want. These are things I should do. The shoulds talk about income you should make. Everybody seems to throw out a million dollars, right, because it’s round number, but what do you want? What is that gonna get you? What is being in that marriage gonna get you? What is it that you want about it?

If you want to stay in the neighborhood you grew up in, you want to get a nine to five, you want to have the white picket fence mowing the lawn waving at the neighbors, I fully support you. That is amazing. It’s awesome. That is not my dream. My dream isn’t to have a small little lawn and mow it every day and drinking coffee and waving at the neighbors. It’s not. I want land. I want space, and so that motivates me to want versus a should. Society tells us we should do this, but if we want to do it, great, it’s a perfect marriage, but if we don’t, it’s okay to break the norm.

This is why it’s author or your own story and not just author of story or author of my story for you. It’s really about you and the individualism, so what I want you today grab your journal. Break out your five to thrive, your mind, your body, your soul, your relationship, and your business, and the categories, and write down what you want in those categories. Now, what I want you also to do is write down any should you have. Hey, I should be ripped. I should have a six pack. Really? Not everybody needs to have a six pack. Having fat tissues on your body is somewhat beneficial, but it doesn’t mean you’re overweight. Now, this isn’t saying you should be hundreds of pounds overweight. There are health risks to that, but what are your wants versus your shoulds?

If you want a six pack, go for it. You can do it. It’s not that difficult to do. It really isn’t, but what are your wants versus your shoulds? Write those down in your five to thrive. Another one I hear often is I should start my own business. I should be an entrepreneur. Well, I’m here to tell you I coach a lot of people. I’ve had the benefit of coaching thousands upon thousands of people, and most people shouldn’t be business owners. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t. I’m just saying most people. It’s this societal pressure that we think that entrepreneurship is this grandiose thing. It’s not. Some of us, like me, are just crazy. We have to own our own business. Our minds are just built that way, but not everybody is.

In your business, what do you want versus what should you be doing? Make sure that you wipe out those shoulds. They’re gonna creep in your life because they’ve been ingrained in us probably since your parents were telling you things and their fears and their hopes for you for years and years, decades. In some cases, 40, 50 years. Write down your five to thrive. What are you want in each of those areas, and then identify your shoulds. Now, what I want you to do is bonus level. Take this up a notch. Share this with three people. Do it right now. It may sound corny, but I’m kind of corny, so just do it.

Share it with three people and share your answers, because if you imagine you had three people, even if it’s just three, knowing exactly what you want two years from now, they’re gonna uplift you. They’re gonna be the engine behind you pushing you and, as your goals are pulling you, pushing you towards your goals. These are the people you really want to have on your side. Share it with three people right now. That’s it for me today. Remember, go out and be the author or your own story.

If you like these daily growth hacks, it would mean the world to us if you would take a moment to subscribe and review us on iTunes!

There’s Freedom In A Schedule

<iframe style="border: none" src="//html5-player.libsyn.com/embed/episode/id/5406769/height/90/width/640/theme/custom/autonext/no/thumbnail/yes/autoplay/no/preload/no/no_addthis/no/direction/backward/render-playlist/no/custom-color/87A93A/" height="90" width="640" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen oallowfullscreen msallowfullscreen></iframe>

Now, what do you mean by there’s freedom in a schedule? A schedule is so constricting. I want to be able to do what I want, when I want. Well, I do too. But I’ll tell you, this is a battle I’ve had over the years. And I can also tell you this is something we’ve talked about in a previous daily growth hack. But the question keeps coming up over the over again in my conversations with coaching clients, but also in the Author of Your Own Story groups that we have. So, I want to clarify it a little bit more.

When I say, “There’s freedom in having a schedule,” really what I’m saying, is there’s so much time we waste. We only have so many hours. Let’s say for example, in a typical work week, you spend a couple of hours on Facebook — which the average person spends way more than that — but let’s just say you just spend a couple of hours on Facebook, or just social media in general.

And maybe that’s a couple of hours watching TV. And during that time, if you’re like most people, you’re flipping through the channels a majority of that time or talking and somebody about, “Hey what do you want to watch on Netflix?” “I don’t know, let’s scroll through.” And looking at the movie listings, or whatever it is.

And you aggregate that out on average. On average of the people that I’ve talked to, and I look at statistics, it’s four to six hours of wasted time per day. Now, if we look at an average work week, that’s 20 plus hours a week. Multiply that after an average of 52 weeks a year. It gets astronomical.

And then even if you put the average cost, the average daily cost, let’s say you make $20. Say you make $20 an hour. And I’m guessing if you’re listening and this, you make a lot more. But let’s just say you make 20. You’re looking somewhere around 40, 50,000 plus a year in opportunity cost. What’s even more important, is the opportunity cost of you being the Author of Your Own Story, and utilizing that time better.

So, what do I mean by, “There’s freedom on a schedule?” Well, I used to have this mindset, in my early 20s, that didn’t want a schedule. That was my goal. And I actually have that now in my life, where I don’t have to have a schedule. I have the lifestyle, and the job opportunities, that allow me to wake up when I want, go to bed when I want. Work when I want, or not work at all. I’m very fortunate in that matter. But what I found is by having a schedule, I’m able to actually map to my day, my weeks, my months, my years, and my time, to actually optimize my lifestyle for me.

Now, oftentimes what happens is people sit down, and they write down their schedule, and it’s filled with things they don’t want to do. The have tos, and the should tos. Now of course, if you have the should tos, you’re setting yourself up for judgment and disappointment already. You’re saying, “I should do this,” and you’re already setting yourself up for something that you should’ve already done, so therefore you’re wrong, or you should do, be you’re not going to, therefore you’re wrong in that sense.

What I want you to do is look at your day. Look at your ideal week. I always do this. And we talk about every Sunday or Monday planning out your week. If you haven’t done the 30-day roadmap for the 30-day game. Or if you’re a coaching client and in our Author of Your Own Story Group, you want to make sure you’re doing the 90-day game. You have access and all that material.

But what you want to do every Sunday, Monday, is plan out your ideal week. Review the past week and then plan out your ideal week. Now, fill it up with things that fill you up. If video games are your thing, and that’s your jam and that’s really what lights you up, then make sure you add that time into your week’s schedule. I’m not saying this just has to be filled with just productivity time. It doesn’t.

This is your story, not mine. You’re the Author of Your Own Story. Write an epic novel. This is your chance. This is your opportunity. If you want to have movie time. I love movies. My wife and I love watching them. What we want to do is actually maybe pick a few movies that we actually really like and add them to our queue. It’s really simple when you’re going through Netflix — or if you have another online movie distribution system, or your TV Guide, or whatever it is — just to simply click and save, so you can come back. Or create a list based on recommendations. There are tons on the internet.

That’s just an easy way of scheduling it in. By scheduling, you’re actually able to look back. You’re able to look back on the past weeks, months and years, and actually, achieve the goals that allow you to be the Author of Your own Story. Look, successful people don’t get successful by accident. And those that seem like they do, often fall off the rails.

But more often than not, you hear about them being successful after they put in the hard work. The 10, 15 years of hard work that it took them to be successful. They’re doing the little things the aren’t being talked about, like scheduling their days. Scheduling their days for optimum productivity in their own lifestyles. So in other words, you’re able to actually do those little things that add up. Those micro-details that add up.

You know, in your body for example, in your five-to-thrive. If you want to lose 40 fat pounds, you don’t do it overnight. You don’t do it the next week, the next month. It’s impossible. Certainly not to do it healthy. But it’s little workouts every single day. Little micro changes a day. Then you can look back upon it six months or a year later, and you’re 40 pounds gone. That’s amazing.

Well, you can do this in all five categories of your five-to-thrive. And that’s was I’m going to ask that you do today. So, what I want you to do is pull out your journal, write down your five-to-thrive. That’s your mind, your body, your soul, your relationships, and you’re a business. And write down what you want to do. Where do you want to be productive in those areas each week? What are the micro changes that you can schedule in each week?

Look if you’re not scheduling it, it’s not going to happen. You and I both know, you don’t schedule your workouts, they don’t happen unless that’s the one area you’re focused on. Now, this goes for relationships too. You need to schedule connection time. You know, if you’re not in an intimate relationship, maybe you don’t even want to be in one, schedule time with friends. Schedule time with family.

Hey, you know, at lunch, I’m going to never eat alone, so I’m going to go walking with a friend, or it’s going to go have lunch with a friend. Do something along those lines, but make sure it gets on your schedule. By scheduling things you’re able to be much more efficient with your time, which gives you so much more freedom on your down time.

There’s nothing more I like that having a weekend with my wife and my son, and being able to do whatever we want to. We look at the day like a blank canvas that we can paint anything we want to. And that is true freedom. And when we schedule those times, we’re able to talk about it. Think about our next adventure and trip.

We’re doing that right now in our lives. Where do we want to go? What do we want to do? And we’re able to paint that into our schedules and into our lives. And then when we have that time for freedom, that schedule allows us that freedom. It allows us that bandwidth, which to grow into. We only have so much time. So much time here on this earth in this one experience called life, and I want you to get the most of it.

Start today. Start now. You deserve to live the best life possible right now. This is the first step to becoming the Author of Your Own Story. So, here’s what I want you to do. Grab your journal. Grab your five-to-thrive, and write down two things that you should be doing each week in your five categories that you can schedule right now. And then I want you to schedule it.

Just write it into your calendar. Whether you use Outlook, Google calendar, whatever you use. Paper calendar, I don’t care. And then what I want you to do is share this with three people. You need to build your tribe. That’s the key to becoming the Author of Your Own Story and a successful person. You need to have people around you. People that lift you up and build upon you, like the wings you fly on.

The key to doing that is share with them what you’re listening to and what you’re going through. And that starts with this. The Author of Your Own Story: Daily Growth Hacks. So take this one particular video if you’re watching me, or audio if you’re listening to the podcast, and share it with three people. Do that right now. And maybe you can just share it and just say, “Hey, I’d love to hear what you think about this.” Or “Hey, This really impacted me in these ways.” And share.

If you want bonus points, I encourage you to go deep. So, just not only share this, a message with them but tell them what it means to you. Tell them maybe something that you forgot, like “Hey, I realize that I’ve been talking about losing weight for six months, and I haven’t done anything about it. So now, I’m scheduling it into my days, and I’d like you to join me.” or “I’d like you to keep me accountable.” or “I’d like to talk to you every day. I’ll put a five-minute check-in every day to make sure it’s on my schedule.” Or a weekly check-in. “Every Sunday let’s get together and form a mini-mastermind group, and let’s talk about our goals.”

Three people are all I’m telling you. All I’m asking you to do right here, right now, in this moment. That’s it for me today. Remember, go out and be the Author of Your Own Story.

If you like these daily growth hacks, it would mean the world to us if you would take a moment to subscribe and review us on iTunes!

One Simple Change Can Improve Your Relationships

<iframe style="border: none" src="//html5-player.libsyn.com/embed/episode/id/5721445/height/90/width/640/theme/custom/autonext/no/thumbnail/yes/autoplay/no/preload/no/no_addthis/no/direction/backward/render-playlist/no/custom-color/87A93A/" height="90" width="640" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen oallowfullscreen msallowfullscreen></iframe>

Today I’m going to do a quick tip on relationships. This is a hack that’s worked for me over time and I’ve seen it work for other people. In any relationship you have, especially intimate relationships, those that are closest to you, seem to trigger us. They seem to bring out certain times of anxiety or despair or anger or upset. I don’t know anybody that’s been in a long-term, intimate relationship that hasn’t seen the ups and downs of that relationship. It’s just human nature.

One simple thing that you can do to improve upon those relationships is what you think about those people on a daily basis. My wife, for example, if we get into a disagreement or an argument, or over text message. This can happen a lot of times over messenger, where you just misunderstand the tonality or the meaning behind things. Now, we’ve worked on it. We can go away from those triggers really quickly, but sometimes something comes in your head and you think something maybe you don’t want to admit.

But what we’ve done is a very simple trick, are we’ve changed the names of the people. Instead of saying my wife’s name, who happens to be Erin, instead of the text message coming across as Erin, I allowed her to pick her category, her name, the way that she wants to be represented into my subconscious, into my mind.

So, when I get a message on my phone, it actually says, “My sexy wife.” Subconsciously, I’m always thinking that. Every time I get a message, whether it be “I love you” or “Hey, can you get milk at the store?”, it always comes from my sexy wife.

Now, obviously that’s easy to do in intimate relationships, but it’s easy not to do. But those little subconscious things, those little pauses of reinforcements make a world of difference. And, of course, I’ve changed my name on her phone as well.

But you can take this a step further. As a boss who has employees, I’ve actually relabeled my employees and close friends and people that I want to have categories. I have a woman who works for me and she is the queen of operations. She’s the amazing queen of operations. Every time I get a message from her, I also have a great name, a way of thinking of her at her highest level, the way that I know that she is.

What I’ve started doing, and I invite you to do the same, is changing some of your contacts. What I’ve started doing is looking at people and seeing inside of them their greatness. Now, these could be close friends and see the best of them and label them as the best of them, so taking those best traits, those best stories, and making them really hyperbolic, making them really big, and then changing their name. So, Santos becomes something else. He becomes the warrior of passion, becomes the most amazing man I know. Whatever it is. It can be something totally different for that individual. And it actually raises them up.

Now, what I found after doing this for several months right now is that every time I talk to that person, I actually see them as their greatness. When I’m seeing them as their greatness, just like when I coach clients when I see them as their greatness, they start seeing themselves as that greatness, and it up levels everybody around them.

Now, of course, that pays it forward because now they’re feeling better about themselves and they don’t even know I’ve done this. They feel better about themselves because I’m coming in with such great energy to the conversations, looking at them at their highest selves, that when they go out into the world the rest of their day, they’re smiling, they’re talking to people, and they’re passing that on. This is really just an easy way to uplevel your life.

Now, I have friends that I’ve recommended. They do this with their kids, they do this with their spouse, they do this with their family. And it’s really actually … Especially with people that you have a conflict with, this is a great one. If you have a mother, or a mother-in-law, or a father, or somebody that you just aren’t meshing with, especially in an intimate relationship, you’ve got some history there, change that. Find the greatness. Find the good in them. Find their highest level you can see with inside them. Sometimes it’s a stretch. Sometimes we have to really look deep into somebody. Go, “This person really gets me. You know, I’ve got 30, 40 years history with them and they’re kind of a jerk.” But look at their highest level. Those times where you know they can be the man or woman of their dreams. The author of their own story. If they were to do this, to do the work that you’re doing on a daily basis with us here, who could they be? And go into your phone. Change the label. Change their contact. Change what they’re called, so when they come up in the message or when they call or when you call them, you have their highest being, their highest purpose labeled there. That will set things apart. That is exactly how you become the author of your own story.

If you like these daily growth hacks, it would mean the world to us if you would take a moment to subscribe and review us on iTunes!

Go Make Your Bed

<iframe style="border: none" src="//html5-player.libsyn.com/embed/episode/id/5717866/height/90/width/640/theme/custom/autonext/no/thumbnail/yes/autoplay/no/preload/no/no_addthis/no/direction/backward/render-playlist/no/custom-color/87A93A/" height="90" width="640" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen oallowfullscreen msallowfullscreen></iframe>

Now I was talking to a client early this morning, and by anybody’s outside perspective, he was an amazingly successful man. He had done all kinds of great things. He owns his own law firm. He’s got an amazing family, a loving wife and two beautiful young children. He’s a leader in his community. He sits on civic organizations as well as sits on the board of several nonprofits. If you were looking from the outside in, you would think this guy had it all, but inside he wasn’t feeling good. He was dying inside, and that’s why we were talking.

You see, every day he would come home and just feel unfulfilled. Yeah, he loved seeing his kids and his wife, but inside just, it wasn’t right for him. He wasn’t achieving greatness, and one of the reasons that he reached out to me was he was like, “Doug, I’m just not living the life that I want. I got one shot at this game …” That was his belief system, “I have one shot at this game and I want to do the best possible.” So in our conversations, we talked about it, and what his day was like. He gets up in the morning, goes to work early, has coffee, works out at a lunch, goes through in just meetings and at night, go home and play with the kids, maybe do some stuff for some of the civic organizations, and then he goes home, has a couple cocktails and goes to bed.

Now pretty typical for a business owner, especially a successful business owner, right? You have that way of, “How do we discharge the end of the night?” What he was feeling is, he wasn’t feeling accomplished. All these accomplishments he had, but all his to-do list was huge and the day would go and he’d see all these bad things through his practice going on in the world, and just wasn’t living his life. So I gave him one tip … Well, I gave him a lot, but one tip that I’m gonna share with you. That one tip is: Make your bed in the morning.

This served me really well and it’s served him also. Make your bed early in the morning, and I got this after listening to the University of Texas at Austin 2004 Commencement Speech. That was by Admiral William H. McRaven. I had to read that off. Amazing man, it sounds like. Very inspirational and I hope to meet him someday. I was really impressed by what he was doing. What he caused me to do is start making my bed every day. You see, making your bed is easy, but like most things, it’s easy not to do, and I was always of the mindset of, “Well, why make my bed? Because I’m just gonna get in it later and mess it up and hopefully mess it up in the day and have a good time.” And even when I check into hotels, when I’m traveling, speaking, or meeting clients or just traveling for fun, one of the first things I do if I stay in a hotel is I take the sheets and I take the corners that are tucked in and I rip them out, because I just hate that constraint. I feel like I’m just confined when I’m in that bed that’s tucked in.

But what I’ve started doing is, after listening to this speech, is I start making my bed. Now here’s one of the reasons why. When you make your bed in the morning, it does a couple things. One is, you start your day with one small accomplishment. Now, this one small accomplishment doesn’t sound big, but it’s the first stepping stone to the rest of your day, right? It’s just like if you want to lose weight, you don’t have to run a marathon, you just need to take a single step. It’s the first step along the journey of a successful day. Now, making your bed, I was surprised at how much I felt better walking back into my bedroom. It just looked cleaner, nicer, it just had a better feeling, but also I was even more surprised, is the effect it had on my wife.

We have a newborn, and so we’re not sleeping quite as much as we’d like to, so when I come back … I get up at 5:15 in the morning, but when I come back and she’s up and I go back and I make the bed, wow, it makes her feel great. It shows her that I’m on the same team as her, helping out around the house. It shows her that there’s one small thing that’s getting done that allows her to go throughout the day. There’s so much going on with our newborn, there’s so much going on with our lives and we love to travel and play, so we’re always on the go, but having that bed made just makes her feel better and it makes me feel better, warms my heart.

Now the Admiral talks about, and I found this to work in my life too and I’m telling my client to do the same and I’m giving you the opportunity to try it as well: By making your bed, whatever happens through the day … There’s so much going on in the world, I mean if you watch the news it’s so much negativity, there are wars over here, South Korea, Syria, all over the place. There’s flooding in Houston and Florida. It’s mind-boggling, right? But when you make your bed, what happens is by the end of the day, you come back in from that whatever’s happening … Hopefully, your day is glorious, but whatever happened, you come back in, and seeing your bed made is a reminder of the accomplishment that you’ve achieved. The small little accomplishment. You’re also able to tuck yourself into a nicely-made bed that’s already warm and can embrace you and make you feel so, so good.

Now I still don’t tuck my sheets in but I love the bed being made, and also it’s just a reminder of the little things in life to be grateful for. I found this to actually be one of these small little things that I could do, these small little hacks that the Admiral gave me, that I can do in my day to just make it a little bit better. Again if we’re going for 1% better every day, that accumulates over time. These little things that we can do. Oftentimes as business-owners, we focus on the business so much that other parts of our Five to Thrive can go away. This is one small thing we can do to have an accomplishment done every day. Even if it’s small and even if you’re not trying to have accomplishments, psychologically that intention, putting your intention forward to being successful or to moving forward, really helps. It’s amazing, and I invite you to try it.

What I’m gonna do is I’m gonna throw the video of the speech and I recommend watching the whole speech, I’m gonna throw that onto the Author of Your Own Story Facebook community page, and I’m gonna ask my team to put this video also on the website so you can see it. I highly encourage you going over. If you’re watching this right now, click over. Watch the video. You’ll get a bunch of other tidbits from the Admiral. He is amazing. If you’re listening to this in your car, just remind yourself, go to the Author of Your Own Story website, find this Daily Growth Hack, and make sure you do it.

That’s it from me today. Go ahead, make your bed, and reminding you: Go out and be the author of your own story.

If you like these daily growth hacks, it would mean the world to us if you would take a moment to subscribe and review us on iTunes!

Five to Thrive Mashup: Business

<iframe style="border: none" src="//html5-player.libsyn.com/embed/episode/id/5713894/height/90/width/640/theme/custom/autonext/no/thumbnail/yes/autoplay/no/preload/no/no_addthis/no/direction/backward/render-playlist/no/custom-color/87A93A/" height="90" width="640" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen oallowfullscreen msallowfullscreen></iframe>

Here I am out on a five exhibition with my family. We decided to get out of dodge and go explore the wilderness of Eastern Oregon, and we’re having a great time. What I’ve asked the team to do is put together a mashup of some of the best listener requests that we’ve had for Author of Your Own Story, with the over 100 Daily Growth Hacks we’ve had. I hope you enjoy these next couple of days. We’re going to revisit these older Daily Growth Hacks so you can go ahead and go back. If you haven’t heard them, go back and do the work, and get a chance to actually listen to them. Remember, go back and listen to the whole library while it’s still available.

Now, if you have heard these before, don’t worry. Doing the work again, you’ve changed, so you’re going to have a different outlook on each of these Daily Growth Hacks. That’s it for me, I’m out living my Author of My Own Story lifestyle, and I hope you’re doing the same.

Jay Abraham has something he talks about, which is your three ways to grow a business. Now, this is something that I use in all of my businesses on a regular basis, but I especially use it for my strategic planning, and when I’m performing my 90-day goals. First thing, what are the three ways? The three ways are to increase the number of customers. Obviously, number of customers or clients you have, increasing the base is one way. Number two is to increase the average transactional value. If somebody’s buying one widget, can you get them to buy another? One way to think about this is when you’re going to a grocery store, how often are you waiting in that line to checkout, and you grab a pack of gum, or a magazine, or something else that’s there? “Oh yeah, that’s right. I do need batteries,” or whatever it may be, a drink. You’re grabbing it with that.

Another way to think about it is, “Hey, would you like fries with that?” McDonald’s has done a great way, and so have the other fast food industries, as well as restaurants at upgrading you. The third way is to increase the frequency of repurchasing. Increase the frequency that people are buying from you. Those are the three solid ways you can increase your business. What do we do? Step one, write down in a box, so you’re going to have boxes across your paper. One box is how many customers do you have? How many clients and customers do you have? Then the second box, what I want to know is what’s the average transactional value? What’s the average amount the average customer spends at your establishment, your business? Whether it be through your website, or your brick and mortar store. What’s the average sale? The third box, what I want you to put in there is what is actually the number of repeat buys you get? Is it a subscription based model? How often do they actually buy something else? Then you’re going to have a total.

You’re going to take box one, multiply it by box two. Then multiply it by box three, and that’s going to equal your total. That’s your total value. Then what I want you to do is take box one. Remember, box one’s the number of clients or customers you have. Multiply that by 10% and put that number under. Can you grow your business in a year by 10% number of people? If you have 100 clients, do you think you can get 10% more? I certainly hope so. I mean, that’s really less than one extra client a month. That shouldn’t be too difficult for you. Write that number down. We’ll use 100 as the first example, and your next box should be 110. Not tough.

Now we’re going to look at, again, what’s the average transactional value? Let’s go and take that number and multiply that by 10%, right? Maybe you sell mattresses. We’ll go back that analogy, ’cause I could see somebody saying, “Hey Doug, I sell mattresses. People don’t come in. The transaction value is a mattress.” BS. You can sell sheets, you can sell pillows, you can sell pillowcases, you can sell warranties. There are all kinds of things. If you can deliver value, you can increase that transactional value as well, just coming up with like minded products.

Something else you might want to think of is coming up with products and bundling. The third way is the repeat of a buyer. How can you get them into a subscription model? How can you get them into something else? Maybe you’re that mattress guy and you’re like, “Okay, well people buy every two years.” Maybe you say, “Hey look, if you come back and buy a new mattress in a year, I’m going to go ahead and give you X discount.”

Once you’ve taken those numbers and you multiply them together, so 10% increase in customers or clients, 10% increase in transactional value, and a 10% increase in the repeat purchasing power, so the number of times they come back and buy from you. You’re really increasing your business by 33.1%. That’s amazing. Very doable, very sustainable. Take Jay Abraham’s three ways to grow your business, take this chart, and grow.

Now, I’m often asked by people, especially young entrepreneurs, of how they can increase their revenue. Now, whether you’re an intrapreneur, meaning you’re working in a business already. Or, an entrepreneur, meaning you have your own business, having some extra revenue and cashflow is always key, I mean. Now, we all have skills and assets that other people want to know. That could be something you know about fitness, something you know about cooking. There are so many things that you know that others want to know, it’s just a matter of taking that out, and putting it into action.

I was talking to one of my clients the other day, and how he happens to own a catering business. One of his issues was increasing his revenue. He wanted to think about how can he make a reoccurring revenue stream that would get him at least a million dollars. Now, you think about owning your own catering company, I asked him, “How many people do you know, or how often do you actually get asked on how to actually setup this business? How many people do you know that want to do this?” We sat down and scratched our heads, and seeing that there are seven billion people in the world roughly, you think there are 1,000 people that want to start their own catering business? He said, “Absolutely Doug. There’s at least 10,000 or more. There’s just not a lot of information out there on how to really start a good catering business.”

“Now, if knowing that you’re making over six figures a year in this catering business, do you think that people will buy kind of how to start your own catering business course for 200, $500?” He said, “Doug, absolutely. People would actually spend thousands of dollars for a course like this.” “Okay, so let’s keep it at $200. You’re telling me there are thousands of people out there.” He said, “Yeah Doug, at least a couple thousand. I would say 10,000 or more that probably would want this information.” “Well did you know that if you could get 5,000 people to pay you $200 for a course or a seminar, that’s a million dollars right there. And if you had a continuity program, so let’s just say you had those 5,000 people and you’re only charging them $17 a month, over that course of 12 months you’d be a millionaire.”

There’s multiple ways you can actually think about this, and strategize. Now let’s say he decides, “You know what? I’m going all in, I’m filming a course on how to start your own catering business. It’s going to have all the nuts and bolts in there. It’s going to provide a ton of value. It’s going to tell them how to start their business, it’s going to tell them what products to buy, where to get clients from A to Z. I’m going to sell it for $4,000.” They put down $4,000, he only needs 250 people during the course of that year, 250 people that actually invest that $4,000 for him to become a millionaire.

All of us have hidden talents, and hidden goals, and things that we can teach people that people want to know. All it is, is us having to share it. We often forget that the things that we know, are things that we’ve had to learn, and people just want to learn themselves. They just don’t know it yet. Again, I ask you, what is it that you know, that you can apply to a course or teach other people, and add massive value that you can become a millionaire as well?

I was on a call with one of my competitors. It’s a younger version of myself is I would say. It’s a younger man, and he’s a hustler. He’s doing a great job, and he’s running a marketing agency. He’s actually running a marketing agency that’s targeting the niche that one of my businesses is going after. At the end of the conversation, he said, “Doug, let me ask you one more question if you don’t mind. I’m building my team, I’m building my team all over the world. You’ve done this successfully, what is one piece of advice, what’s the best piece of advice you could give me?”

If I were to pick my biggest learning lesson, my biggest learning lesson and building a team, and not only remotely, but a team in person, would be one thing. That would be communication. That’s the constant communication. As business owners we see the vision so clearly, we see it in our heads, and maybe we communicate it clearly. But we forget to keep communicating it to our team, over and over again. It’s not their vision. They may have a shared vision, or something similar. But the vision in our head isn’t theirs. As a business owner, what I was suggesting to him is, “Hey look, yes. Build your team, build the systems, build everything you need in business. Business fundamentals apply whether you’re running a virtual business, or a brick and mortar.”

“One thing that’s a little bit different virtually is it can be a little bit more difficult to communicate on a regular basis. Now, especially if you’re working with a virtual team across multiple cultures. Now you have cultural differences, language differences, and religious differences. Then, of course, timezones. How do you that?” My solution is over communication. What I told him specifically, is I said, “Treat each person on your team like a person.” See, I set alerts for all our virtual staff where they live. I’m reading the news. I also try my best to communicate to my team what the vision is.

I don’t communicate everything to them because I don’t need to dump five businesses worth of information on them every single week. But I do need to communicate to them the general vision, and where they play into that future. Not only where they play into that future, but how does it relate to them as individuals? I was telling this gentleman, was I was like, “Look, you need to set the standards, set your systems, but also communicate on a regular basis. Yes, put your head down, get your work done. You’ve got to. At the end of the day, you’re an entrepreneur, you gotta get stuff done.”

“If you’re running a business now, where are you not communicating? Where are the gaps in communication? Does everything in your company understand your vision? And equally as important, do you know their vision? Pick your head up. Look around, and make sure you’re communicating with your team on a regular basis, and treat them like people. Love them deeply, cherish them. These are people just like anybody else, and they deserve your respect, as well as your time.”

Knowing and communicating with your team on a regular basis really helps you not only better them, but also your own business. I was recently talking to a tech entrepreneur, and they were doing great. But the problem that they were having is they didn’t have a consistent cashflow coming in. Their marketing was working, their processes were working, but sales just didn’t seem to be happening. It seemed to be happenstance. When we were having a conversation I asked him, “Do you have a rain maker on your team?” He said, “Doug, what is that?”

Well, a rain maker in business or in sales is commonly someone who’s able to make it rain. They’re able to consistently bring in new business, new leads, and new sales consistently to your business line. Now, when I was talking to him I said, “Look, rain makers always win. Every business owner needs a rain maker, and that’s why they can be hard to the fun.” When a rain maker … Regardless of the economy. The economy went down in 2008, and there’s a lot of these doomsdayer’s that say, “Hey, it’s cyclical Doug. It’s very cyclical, and it’s going to happen again.” It typically happens every seven or eight years.

Well, we’re past that time period, so maybe it’ll happen again. But there’s one thing I do know, is I know the people that were successful even during the bad times, were the rain makers. Sure, when businesses had to cut staff, no rain makers ever get cut. The reason rain makers don’t get cut is ’cause they are the lifeblood of the business. They are driving revenue to a company. Rain makers are easy for them to move laterally. These are just the people that make it happen in business.

If you are in business, or you run a business, are you either a rain maker or do you have one on your team? This concept of rain making, right? This concept of being someone who can really drive sales, and drive business is extremely important. But I think you can be a rain maker in other areas. Are you a person that constantly brings value to the process? In your five to thrive, are you your own rain maker? Are you the person that just creates, that makes themselves invaluable to a business? In other words, the business can’t survive without you. You can do this in any area. You could be the best mail room clerk, who does things so well and so efficiently, that the company just can’t leave without you.

Even if that company moves, they’re going to take you with them. They’re going to take you with them because you do something that nobody else does. You deliver that extra stuff, that secret sauce, that special thing that nobody else can do.

I want you to ask, or I want to ask you. Are you a business owner? If you are, do you have a rain maker on your team? If not, that’s got to be one of the first priorities. Obviously building your own base is huge, but you need a rain maker. If you don’t have one, you need to be that rain maker until you can actually get one on your team.

Now, if you’re an employee somewhere, are you a rain maker? Now, maybe you’re not in sales, but are you supporting your company in such a way that the company would just go, would crumble without you? Everybody would be lost if you weren’t around. If not, why not? Why aren’t you becoming that person? Why aren’t you becoming an invaluable asset to the business you work in? This is a chance for you to really do it because remember, regardless of the economy, regardless of what’s happening politically, who’s the president, where you live, where the business moves to. A rain maker always has a seat at the table.

Put yourself in the scene, imagine you’re there. There’s a business owner at home, and he can’t find his keys. The powers out, so it’s dark in his house, so what he does is he looks out the window and notices the streetlights are on. A light bulb goes off, he walks outside, goes under the streetlight, and starts digging through the ground, and is trying to see if he can find his keys. Then a neighbor walking his dog comes by and says, “Hey, what are you doing?” “Ah, I lost my keys.” The neighbor nicely goes down, and starts looking, and looking on the ground too. The neighbor looks and says, “Well, where’d you lose him?” The business owner goes, “Oh, I lost them inside my house.” The neighbor goes, “Well why are you out there?” He’s like, “Well that’s where the lights on.”

Now, this is a funny story, and I got this from Dr. Wayne Dyer. I really like what it talks about. How often do we do this in business? We actually look outside of ourselves, or outside of the problem to find a solution. When really if we just went into the house where the actual problem is, and often times this is within ourselves, that’s where the solution lies.

Another great story that’s talked about is just imagining you go to the doctor, and you’re having chest pain. You’ve had this agonizing chest pain for several weeks, and it’s driving you nuts. You talk to the doctor and he says, “Ha, I know exactly what to do.” He takes out his prescription pad and starts writing a prescription. Peels the paper off, and sets it down. Then he repeats that process five times, now he has five prescriptions in front of him.

Finally you just go, “Hey, I know if I take these prescriptions, I’m going to be great.” You reach for the prescriptions the doctor wrote and he says, “No, no, no. This one’s for your wife, this one’s for your neighbor, this is for your colleague, this is your mentor, and this is your son.” You’re like, “Well how is that going to help me?” It’s the same idea. Those prescriptions wouldn’t help you. You know why? Because it’s outside of you, and the problem still is within.

I had a client recently and he was just like, “Doug, give me the tips and tactics. I want the shortcuts, I want to know exactly what I need to do. Do I need to do standup meetings? Do I need to scale my business? What do I need to do to be successful? You’ve done it before, tell me.” What I told him was something very simple, and I’m going to share that with you.

Nothing I tell you tactically is going to help you run your business successfully over the long haul until you work on your inner game first. Where does that start? That starts with your five to thrive. That is a wholistic process to make sure all the wheels on the bus, all the wheels on the successful journey that you’re on, are inflated fully. Making sure everything’s moving smoothly.

I also can tell you based on all the people that I’ve worked with, and I’ve worked with thousands of people over the years. That working on your inner game never hurts. It always pays dividends over time. There’s no risk, you just work on yourself. You’re better yourself. Sometimes there’s financial, or time obligations that come into that, and that’s up for you to decide. Working on yourself can only pay dividends in the future, it can only help you on your path to becoming truly, the Author of Your Own Story.

Have a great day, and remember. Share this with at least three people that you know, build your tribe, start the conversation. I’d love to talk to you about it more in the Author of Your Own Story group. That’s it for today. Have a great day. Remember, go out and be the Author of Your Own Story.

 

If you like these daily growth hacks, it would mean the world to us if you would take a moment to subscribe and review us on iTunes!

Five to Thrive Mashup: Relationships

<iframe style="border: none" src="//html5-player.libsyn.com/embed/episode/id/5711079/height/90/width/640/theme/custom/autonext/no/thumbnail/yes/autoplay/no/preload/no/no_addthis/no/direction/backward/render-playlist/no/custom-color/87A93A/" height="90" width="640" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen oallowfullscreen msallowfullscreen></iframe>

So here I am out on a five day exhibition with my family. We decided to get out of Dodge and go explore the wilderness of Eastern Oregon, and we’re having a great time. So what I’ve asked the team to do is put together a mash-up of some of the best listener requests that we’ve had for Author of Your Own Story with the over 100 Daily Growth Hacks we have, so I hope you enjoy these next couple days. We’re going to revisit these older Daily Growth Hacks so you can go ahead and go back.

If you haven’t heard them, go back and do the work and get a chance to actually listen to them. And remember to go back and listen to the whole library while it’s still available. Now if you have heard these before, don’t worry. Doing the work again, you’ve changed, so you’re going to have a different outlook on each of these Daily Growth Hacks. That’s it for me, I’m out living the Author of My Own Story lifestyle and I hope you’re doing the same.

Today I’m going to talk to you about relationships and what do I have to do with mowing the lawn? Well, I was just talking to a client of mine, an extremely intelligent, successful man. And he was talking to me like, “Yeah my girl, she’s just nagging me to go mow the lawn.” So I asked him, “Why aren’t you? I’m just curious.” He said, “I’m just being lazy.” So we started talking about other things, and you pick up on these patterns when you’re coaching for a long time. But we started talking about the rest of his life. And what we were talking about was him working on his house, his business, then what he was doing with his meditation practice. Always his answer is, “Ah, I’m just being lazy.”

See, he had built a successful business, and he built it to a point that allowed him not to work if he didn’t want to. That’s fantastic, that’s great, that’s something that I worked on with him to get there. But now he’s being lazy. We’ll call this guy Ken. So I was like, “All right Ken, so why aren’t you mowing the grass?” “I’m just being lazy.” “Okay, so break it down for me, what happened, how does the grass come up?” “Oh my girl, she’s always telling me ‘Go mow the grass’ and the next day it’s ‘Hey, the grass is looking really bad, I drove by, our neighbors are gonna start complaining’, and I’m always telling her, I’ll do it tomorrow, or oh yeah I got that, I’ll do it today later, or the weather’s not that great, I’ll get to it.”

It had nothing to do with the grass. Really, it had to do with what he felt was his manhood as we broke it down. Now he didn’t see this. Mowing the grass would take him 20 minutes, he can listen to a podcast like this, multiple ones, get great insights and ideas while mowing the grass, or just spend time enjoying the moment of mowing the grass. It wouldn’t have taken him much time. He doesn’t have anything on his schedule. The real reason, is he was really saying F.U. to his girl. He was saying, “Don’t tell me what to do, I’m the man, I’ll tell you what to do.” You see, he was a coward. He was too scared to say that to her face, so what he did is say, “Yeah, yeah, I’ll get to it, oh yeah I’ll do it tomorrow, I’ll do it the next day.” And after several weeks she felt bad I assume after keep asking him to do this basic thing for their family, just go mow the lawn. She was being the breadwinner, she was taking care of the kids, he was just laying on the couch being lazy.

But the reality of it is he didn’t feel man enough because of other things that were going on in his life. Then when she asked him to please go mow the lawn, he took it as her telling him what to do and taking away his power. You see, in relationships, there can often be a power struggle, especially in what we call a level one relationship. Now some people call it a level four, it really depends on what you want to do, but anyway, the bottom of the barrel relationships, where it’s really horse trading or like, “You do this for me, I’ll do this for you.” That’s not a relationship, that does not love, that’s a commerce. I give you money, you give me my taco, my car, whatever. I tell you this story because in relationships, oftentimes the things that upset us aren’t the things that we’re seeing. They’re stories that we’re creating on the outside.

So I want you to think about where are these things happening in your relationship. Where in your relationship is a boss, co-worker, spouse, sibling, asking you to mow the lawn, and really you’re saying F.U. in a passive-aggressive way? Look deep because it’s happening. We have things coming at us all the time. We have text messages, phone calls, emails, the TV is on, the radio is on, we’re always constantly being stimulated. Oftentimes that affects our communication. And the reason it affects our communication is oftentimes things are said and misinterpreted. Now, this can happen by text messages or chats often because you can’t hear the emotion that somebody’s sending through. You can really misinterpret that. But even talking one on one, you can misinterpret the intention of something that somebody says or a busy lifestyle.

Let me give you an example. Maybe I came home from work and I just noticed that the kitchen counter was just messy. And I might have said, “Geez, the kitchen’s so messy,” and she might hae replied right away, taking offense, thinking I was attacking her, saying, “Well gosh, I’m working all day too, you could do something.” And then that would escalate, “Hey, that’s not what I meant.” But by saying that’s not what I meant, does that ever really help? No. No one just stops and goes, “Oh that’s not what you meant, well jeez, please tell me.” It doesn’t work that way. Emotions start to escalate. They go kind of up an escalation ladder. Now, backing into that she would ask for an apology. “Yeah, apologize to me.” “Well I’m not apologizing,” I would say, “You know, I didn’t say anything wrong. You’re just being sensitive.” Which is always guys, the worst thing to say, right? But back then I just wasn’t as clear, I’d be like, “Look, I’m not apologizing, I wasn’t wrong in this situation.

I just simply made an observation that the counter is a mess, and you took it the wrong way, that’s your fault, your problem.” You know I kind of was a jerk I guess because I didn’t know any better back then. But what I came to understand is what I really was sorry for was the way that she felt. I never wanted to hurt her feelings. I love and cherish my wife. I want her to always be happy. So what I’ve learned to do over time is apologize for the way the other person feels, the way that my words landed. So that I own that responsibility between the communication, between what comes out of my mouth and how it lands in that other person’s brain. So what I would say now is, “Geez, I’m so sorry to hurt your feelings. I didn’t mean that at all, and I love and cherish you. So let me explain what I’m trying to say.”

When I say that I’ve taken ownership, I’ve apologized for hurting her feelings. And now her defenses go down, right? Her defenses go down because she can relax and actually receive what I’m about to say. So what I’ve learned to do is take responsibility for my words and how they land on the other people. Now, this doesn’t mean lying or apologizing for what I say, you know sometimes I do if I say something wrong of course, but often times it’s like, “Hey, I’m sorry that didn’t land properly, let me try this again. I really respect you and I really want you to understand where I’m coming from, and I want to understand where you’re coming from, and make sure you feel heard.”

What I want you to do is list maybe the top five most important relationships in your life right now. And what I want you to journal about is where in those top five had you had conflicts and maybe, or you’ve had conflicts where you don’t feel fully understood or heard. What I want you to do is reach out to those people. Reach out to each of these people and then I want you to listen. I want you to fully hear them. I was at the gym this morning working out, and there were two guys talking. One guy turned to his friend and started correcting his form. Now I had just met these guys a few days later, and the instinct to jump in and tell him that his advice was wrong was really high in me. I really had to fight it. You see, I’ve spent over two decades in the fitness field and acquired over 18 degrees and certifications, and have been teaching fitness to people as well as to fitness professionals for a very long time.

So that innate nature inside of me, just to correct him and give him the right information was going so strong. And it made me start to think, “What is the outcome that I want?” You see I had just met these guys, and they’re both really nice. I could have stepped in and said, “Hey look, the advice you’re giving is really bad. You know this person might actually hurt themselves,” and embarrassed his friend. But I could tell that he was actually really enjoying helping his buddy out. And really what I would have done is just pushed them both away. So I sat back and relaxed and just simply had conversations with them. What this made me realize is, as little as three years ago my need to be right was so strong within me, that it actually shattered relationships around me. I did this in relationships, friendships, but also in my marriage.

Now I could have been doing the dishes. You see I was brought up a certain way, that when you did dishes, you had them so sparkling clean, even before you put them I the dishwasher, and I would correct my wife. I would go over and say, “No, no, no, you’re not doing this right,” and talk to her. Taking out the trash, “No, no, no, we’re going to sort it a certain way,” there was my way, the right way in my relationships. What I found is it caused so much strife between my wife and I, between my friendships. I constantly felt that I needed to correct people. This could have been on news stories, politics when I hear people disseminate information that was just blatantly incorrect. You see, I had a shift. I had a shift where I decided, “What is my outcome I this situation?” You know in a conversation, I don’t have to be right. And often times I probably am not. There’s a gray area. If it’s a relationship conversation I can choose to be happy, sit back, relaxed, and have that conversation.

Now I see this a lot, within my own family, when they’re talking about politics. You have people on the left, and you have people on the right. And sometimes, they just don’t agree, and they end up really driving each other apart, and not enjoying each other, in fact disliking the other person based on opposing views. Now I’m going to give you the opportunity here, or the paradigm shift, that you have the possibility of choosing to be happy in these situations. And I can tell you from my own experience in relationships when I’ve made this shift from wanting to be right to want to be happy, it has made me such a happier person. It has opened me up to new relationships, and my relationship with my wife has never been better.

So I’m going to ask you this today. Where across your five to thrive and especially in your relationships, are you striving to be right? Are you striving to be right with a co-worker? Are you striving to be right with a friend? Are you striving to be right about politics? Is it about sporting events, my team’s better than yours? Where are you stuck in the black and white situation of being right, versus being happy, and where is this creating unhappiness in your life. Take action in this moment of clarity to choose happiness. Patterns are just certain things that we see coming up in our lives over and over again. Think about the relationship you’re currently in or just were in recently. If you haven’t been in a relationship, think of a friendship. But it’s easier sometimes to think about romantic relationships. My guess is, each relationship that you’ve had has a very specific pattern that we could break down together.

Now that pattern could be meet somebody and then ends up being the wrong guy, he ends up being an alcoholic or a drug addict, or abusive, or maybe just lazy, or doesn’t like the outdoors, or whatever it is. You find that person, and you don’t find out until months later and you’re just in too deep. Let me give you a very specific example of a client I was just talking to. This individual, a successful businessman, and he was just having so many problems in his relationships and he was so down. He was telling me, “I just don’t get it, I’m getting so jealous. This girl that I love, I just love her so much Doug. What happens is I get so jealous of her and I’m just scared she’s gonna leave me.” This woman was very open with her friendships with other people. She was in his eyes, flirtatious.

What he wasn’t getting was this pattern he was in. But when I walked it through for him, he went, “Oh my God. This is something I’ve been doing my whole life.” Hey these patterns, we all have them. I have my patterns and you have yours, and most of us started forming these patterns as protection mechanisms so we could socialize in the environments that we were in, and so we’ve been doing these patterns in some way, shape or form since we were really little. One of the keys I see to breaking these patterns, and this happens 9 times out of 10 if not 10 times out of 10, spend time filling you first. Fill your cup. Many of us just don’t even know what that means. So today what I’m going to ask you for your homework, is sit down in your journal, and write what makes you happy. If you haven’t been happy in a long time, first I’m sorry, and you really need to get in our community and jump onboard, and maybe work with one of our coaches to get you on that track, but hopefully, you have. And hopefully, you can see those things that really fill you up.

Maybe, if you’re having a hard time, you’ve been married for many years and the relationships kind of gone dead, and instead of having a marriage, you’ve got a roommate, or somebody else? About what you did when they first met, what were those things that fill you up then? Chances are they’re very similar, and chances are the things that fill you up as a child are very similar to things that fill you up today. So what is it like to be in a relationship with me? That’s kind of an odd question, but it’s a question that I sent to five key people in my life. I sent it to my wife, one of my brothers, and one of my co-workers as well as two friends. Now I sent this in an email, and I also followed up with each person just so they knew where I was coming from. And in the email, I started off with, “Hey, I have a question for you, because I’m on a path of personal growth. I really would like you to take a few moments to answer this question. What is it like to be in a relationship with me?”

Now I also told them, “Please be transparent and honest. I’m not going to hold any of this against you. This is for my growth. And actually, the more open and honest you are with me, the better this is going to be for me.” The results that I got back, frankly actually surprised me. It surprised me in a couple different ways. One is I was really taken back by all the great things people had to say about me. For some reason, I was really focused on the negative. I was thinking of all the things that it could be like to be in a relationship with me. I run multiple businesses, I’m a little spastic. But the results that I got were really heartwarming. You know, people said often the comment about my integrity, my loyalty, that I had their back, that I loved them and would always look out for them before myself. And they knew I would always be there for them and have their best interests in mind. That really touched me.

That’s the way that I want to live, but you know, you don’t always know if people see that. But I also got some criticism. The biggest critique for me was my moodiness. I run multiple businesses, and so sometimes I’m up late at night just thinking about ideas or what have you, and I don’t sleep that well and I get into the stress of the day and I don’t manage as well as I could, and I tend to take it out of those people that are closest to me. Does that sound familiar to you? Probably. A lot of us do that. And it’s something that I’ve been working on. Which was also cool, because my wife told me, “Hey this is where you were when I met you, and now here’s where you are. So this is what it was like to be in a relationship with you at this time of our relationship, and this is what it’s like to be in a relationship with you now, good and bad.” That was really eye-opening for me as well.

And it was really heartwarming that she took the time to actually write that out there. What I’m going to ask you to do, today your call to action is to do the same thing. Pick five people that you’re close to in your life, family, friends, co-workers, that’s up to you. But pick at least five people and ask them that question. What is it like to be in a relationship with me? Now, of course, that’s you in this case, and the more honest people are with you, the more you’re actually going to see your actions and be able to pivot and make a change where you want to.

Now, of course, you’re perfect just the way you are. You don’t have to make any changes. But you also can make those micro-adjustments where you see fit, just like I’m going to. Have a great day, and remember, share this with at least three people that you know, build your tribe, start the conversation. I’d love to talk to you about it more in The Author of Your own Story group, and that’s it for today. Have a great day. And remember, go out and be, be Author of Your Own Story.

If you like these daily growth hacks, it would mean the world to us if you would take a moment to subscribe and review us on iTunes!

Five to Thrive Mashup: Soul

<iframe style="border: none" src="//html5-player.libsyn.com/embed/episode/id/5705460/height/90/width/640/theme/custom/autonext/no/thumbnail/yes/autoplay/no/preload/no/no_addthis/no/direction/backward/render-playlist/no/custom-color/87A93A/" height="90" width="640" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen oallowfullscreen msallowfullscreen></iframe>

So here I am, out with a five-day exhibition with my family. We decided to get out of dodge and go explore the wilderness of Eastern Oregon. We’re having a great time. So what I’ve asked the team to do is put together a mashup of some of the best listener requests that we’ve had for Author of Your Own Story with the over a hundred Daily Growth Hacks we have. So I hope you enjoy over these next couple days. We’re gonna revisit these older Daily Growth Hacks so you can go ahead and go back if you haven’t heard them. Go back and do the work and get a chance to actually listen to them. And remember, go back and listen to the whole library while it’s still available.

Now if you have heard these before, don’t worry. Doing the work again, you’ve changed. So you’re gonna have a different outlook on each of these Daily Growth Hacks. That’s it for me. I’m out living the Author of My Own Story lifestyle and I hope you’re doing the same.

Today I’m gonna talk a little bit about your soul, and kind of in an abstract point of view. Now, if you’ve ever seen Office Space, you know when the woman talks about it, she says, “Oh, you’ve got a case of the Mondays.”, always plays in my head when I hear somebody complain about the work week coming up. Now a typical work week, you know, Monday through Friday, and I know a lot of you listening are already living the Author of Your Own Story lifestyle, and have created a lifestyle outside of that typical workweek.

But I also see on social media, as well as talking to friends, that they talk about, “Aw man, the weekend is over.” Yeah, they’re so bummed. And they’re bummed because they’re going back to work. And they’re actually depressed. And to think about it, they actually get two days of happiness? Two days to look forward to out of a seven day week? That means five of those days, the majority of their week is something that they actually aren’t looking forward to. This is the problem.

If you find yourself waking up on Monday having a case of the Mondays, and yeah, of course, we all have them from time to time. And it might not be Monday, it could be Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday even. But if you wake up in the morning and you’re regularly having a case of the Mondays, this is something that you need to look into. This is a sign. This is a breadcrumb on the road to life if you ask me. This is a sign that you need to take a 90-degree pivot and go a different direction. This is a sign that you need to step up and truly be the author of your own story. ‘Cause if you’re having a case of the Mondays, I can tell you right now, you aren’t being the author of your story.

Now I’m not here to put you down, what I’m here to do is just put a mirror in front of you as a reflection, and let you know, hey look, if you’re not doing what you love, you should be doing something different. A perfect example is Billy, who edits these videos for us. An amazing man. He took a 90-degree pivot. He wasn’t happy at his job and totally wanted to do video editing. And he does a fantastic job at it. We’re so lucky to have him on our team. Just like you, I’m gonna ask you, where in your Five to Thrive are you having a case of the Mondays?

So what I want you to do right now, pull out your journal, write down your Five to Thrive. Your mind, your body, your soul, your relationships and your business. And write down any places you’re having a case of the Mondays. And now I want you to do, right now, at this moment, is take action, and change it. Do one small thing to make that 90-degree turn, and make that change. Honor your body and reach out to somebody else. Maybe you don’t like working out in the way you’re doing it. Do yoga. Do Pilates. Try something else. Run. Get together with friends, play sports. Whatever it is for you. Maybe it’s your job. Maybe you just hate the place you work. Well, then what I want you to do is find five reasons you’re grateful for that place. Find five things you love about it, and focus on those five, and during that time, look for a pivot. Look for a different alternative for yourself.

Maybe it’s your paradigm, or maybe it is the place you work. I don’t know. But write down those Five to Thrive. That’s where it all starts. Today I’m gonna talk about box breathing. Now I first learned about box breathing from Mark Divine, a fantastic author, founder of Seal Fit, a former Navy Seal, and also just a great inspiration. I currently use box breathing with my clients, as well as in my daily practice. So before I get into how to use box breathing, let me talk about some of the benefits and some of the ways I utilize it currently that I think might benefit you.

Box breathing really allows you to slow down, center yourself, and really apply some focus. I’ll use it in the car while driving, as a way of just getting myself centered, calming myself down from the hectic day to day life that sometimes occurs. I’ll also use box breathing just as a walking therapy, or a walking meditation. Oftentimes with clients, I’ll use box breathing at the beginning of a session, just to really get them calm, centered, and focused. And as well most of my clients, in fact, all of them are business owners, and often times they get really stressed or really busy as business owners tend to do. Box breathing allows them to calm themselves down, get centered, especially before going home where they have to check in with their family relationships and check business to the side.

Now, what is box breathing? So I want you to do is picture a box. Now a box is gonna have four sides, we’re gonna use all four of those sides with four-second counts. So first what you’re gonna do is inhale, doing a belly, deep diaphragm inhale through the nose and a four-second count. And then once you’ve finished that, you’re gonna hold for four seconds. Slowly open your mouth, and let the air naturally come out from your pursed lips. Now once you’ve actually exhaled all your air after the four seconds, go ahead and hold for another four seconds before repeating the process by inhaling through your nose once again.

So again, that’s four seconds inhale through the nose, followed by a four-second hold, a four second gentle exhale through the lips, followed again by a four-second hold. Alright? So we’re gonna inhale for four, three, two, one. Hold, four, three, two, one. Gently exhale, four, three, two, one. Hold, four, three, two, one. And repeat the process from there.

So what do I mean? Stop lying to yourself. When I say that, what I’m talking about is all the lies that we tell ourselves on a daily basis. These are lies that come from previous stories. Stories about our past. These stories become records playing in our head, over and over again on some kind of crazy loop. Now what these stories do is they disempower us. Now, these stories are things that we’ve made up based on past experiences or things people have told us, or things that have happened. Some of the common ones I hear from people are, “Well I don’t have enough money to start my own company.”, or “I don’t have enough money to do X, Y, and Z.” Or, “I’m not good looking enough for him or her.” Or, “I’m too fat to do this, that, or the other.” Or, “I’m not athletic enough.”, or “I don’t have time to do X, Y, and Z.”

I hear this all the time. And I’ve got my own records playing in my own head. Now, this is obviously an analogy, but these are things that we’re constantly telling ourselves. These are disempowering stories. You can’t allow these disempowering stories to occur, but you can’t lie to yourself either. You can’t pretend like they don’t exist. That’s the key. The key is recognizing that you have disempowering beliefs or disempowering stories, recognizing them, and then changing the script. Flip the script on these things. Now what I want you to do if write every disempowering story you’ve told yourself, or tell yourself currently, and leave a space. Leave three to five lines, and then write out the next one. Whatever your stories are. There’s all kind of stories that are out there, and everybody’s is unique. Course there’s some common ones.

Now I want you to write them all out. Take time to make an extensive list, and you’re gonna leave three to five lines between them. And you’ve got your extensive list, and if you’re just the average person, you should have probably five to seven pages here. Five to seven good pages of disempowering stories that you tell yourself. Now if you don’t know them, ask a good friend, ’cause these are things that you repeat unconsciously on a regular basis. Once you’ve written these down, then I want you to go back to them and say, “Hey, what the truth? What’s the real reality of this?” For me one that came up was six months ago my wife pointed out, was I was always saying, “I’m tired. I’m always tired.” And that was a story I’d told myself. And when I eliminated that phrase from my vocabulary, suddenly my energy increased. These are all kinds of opportunities you can create within this lie that you’ve created to flip the script.

As you’re out becoming the author of your own story, you really need to give yourself permission to fail. And permission not to succeed. Now, of course, you want to succeed, and you should be striving for that, but you need to give yourself permission to fail. ‘Cause if you don’t, you won’t jump. You won’t jump forward, you won’t take that great leap or even that first step that’s necessary to become the author of your own story. Now almost all the clients I’ve worked with when I’m coaching them, they all have this fear. This is a fear to actually take that leap. To take that jump, because what if I fail? What if I don’t succeed? What are people gonna think of me? What are people gonna say? Am I ever gonna be able to show my face in this group or with my friends or my family again?

Or am I gonna lose all my … I’m gonna lose my house, I’m gonna lose my money. Now I’m talking about calculated risks. And all, and I mean all of the successful people that I know and have coached and have worked with, all are amazing risk takers. And the reason they’re great risk takers is ’cause they’re calculated risks, and they’re not afraid to fail. But when they fail, they fail forward. And what I mean by failing forward is, as soon as they fall down, they learned a lesson, and they get up right away, dust themselves off quickly, and move forward. They’re not afraid to jump in the deep end to test the waters, but knowing that they can grab onto a life raft or a vest, or whatever it is, to get back to shore. Now as soon as they jump in, they know that they’re learning something each and every time. They’re growing.

So growth happens outside of your comfort zone. And you have to be okay with failing. One of the stories I’ve loved comes about a baby. If you have a baby and they get up and they try to walk and they fall down, which all babies do, do you say hey you know what, you failed? That’s it. We’re not gonna do that anymore, I’m sorry. You’re gonna be crawling the rest of your life. Course not. The baby falls and you cheer them, and they get back up and try again, and they fall, and this happens for a long time until they’re actually able to successfully walk. But most people can actually walk if you’ve given that ability and that grace to have two strong legs, you can walk. It’s not that somebody said, “Hey, you were crawling and you got up, you fell, and therefore you gotta stay down there now.” That not … doesn’t happen. It just doesn’t happen. You need to give yourself, you, the author of your own story give yourself the grace to fail.

Give yourself grace for failure. Now when you think about it, every day we make things mean something. So listening to this daily growth hack, or watching this on video, you’re associating a meaning. A meaning not only to what I’m saying, but a meaning to you, and to how you’re interacting with this audio or video, or what’s coming out. What does it mean to you? And that meaning equals emotion. It triggers some kind of emotional response within you. So for example, if what I’m saying excites you, you get excited, you get the emotion of excitement, hope, probably, enthusiasm. And that brings energy inside of you. It not only brings energy inside of you but also radiates out. You can see if somebody’s excited about something, and it’s contagious, right?

So that emotion is part of life, right? So you can also say that the emotion is that what brings somebody a truly magnificent life. And not just an ordinary life, or your humdrum going through your days. It’s actually the emotion that brings the character, the good stuff, to life. It’s love, it’s passion, it’s energy, it’s excitement, it’s hope. It’s really getting in there. And you know what, also it’s the sadness. Unfortunately, you have to see the valleys and go through the valleys to actually recognize the mountains. If you’re always happy, they call that crazy, right? No one ever is always happy. Now but you can control things to a certain degree. And it’s the way you associate the meanings to those things that control the emotion. So for example, the other day, I was hoping to get an email from a client, and the client did not email me. Now, I had an option there. I got frustrated, upset, and then I started saying, well what does this mean? Is the client mad at me? Are they upset? Did they not like the service that I was providing? And it was very easy for me to get frantic, anxious, and maybe even depressed and scared, right?

But I didn’t associate that meaning. That meaning I took from that is, wait, the client didn’t get back to me and therefore I got tons of space and time to do everything else that I wanted to do. Everything else that was in my journal that I’d planned on doing that day, and I got excited about it. And I flipped it around. Turns out, the client had an emergency. They actually had a tragedy in their own lives that they had to take care of in order to get back to me. Everything worked out fine. Now, if I would associate that meaning, so the meaning that … of despair, the client isn’t getting back to me ’cause they don’t like me, they don’t like the work, they’re not happy. Whatever it is, that would spill over to my whole day. I’d start panicking, maybe even trying to contact them, trying to figure out what’s going on. Talking to my team, like hey, pick up the phone. “Hey, what happened? Did something go wrong? Did you hear back from them?” Going back and forth, and then being stressed out.

So I could’ve gone with that story in the back of my head and just really been worried about it, consumed. Which also means I wouldn’t be present with anybody I interacted with. Instead, I made it mean nothing. I made it mean they didn’t email me. That’s just a fact. Okay? Whatever. And I moved on. I decided not to create a story about that, and then I got excited about the free space that I now had to work on other projects and things that I wanted to work on. And I did. And I took that excitement, I took that energy, and I applied it throughout my businesses. I also was able to hang out with my wife and child, be fully present and happy and joyful about it. And that’s what life is about. So to remember, we have meaning. It’s whatever you make that mean equates to an emotion, and that emotion equates to having an epic author of your own story life.

So what I want you to is write this equation out in your journal, and write it in big, bold letters. Right? Meaning equals emotion, emotion equals life. Now what I want you to do is think about things that are going on, how are you reacting to what I’m saying right now? What are you making it mean? And is that serving you? Is that serving you as the author of your own story? Is that serving you as the person that you want to be, and the person that people want to be around? Does it serve your story? Now you can do this through your Five to Thrive, but what I really would like you to do is every time something is happening, catch it. When you’re writing your journal, you should be journaling daily. Most successful people journal on a day to day basis throughout history. So with that said, I want you to be one. I want you to be one of those individuals if you choose to be. And I think you are, if you’re taking your time to go through this, you should.

Well, if you haven’t been doing the work, you could feel bad about yourself and get depressed and get down and do whatever it is you do what you get down. Or you could say, “Hey, look, I haven’t done the work, but I’m making a choice right now. I recognize this, now I’m gonna do the work.” And then get excited about that. That is two different lifestyles. So the meaning, emotion, life. Right? Meaning equals emotion, emotion equals life. So what I want you to do is just start writing it down. Go back to your journal and pass if you have it, and look at some of those things that you’ve written, and look at the meanings that you’ve associated with those, and then the emotion that’s tied in with that meaning. And then if it doesn’t serve you, I want you to flip that around.

Have a great day and remember, share this with at least three people that you know, build your tribe, start the conversation. I’d love to talk about it more in The Author of Your Own Story group, and that’s it for today. Have a great day and remember, go out and be the author of your own story.

If you like these daily growth hacks, it would mean the world to us if you would take a moment to subscribe and review us on iTunes!

Five to Thrive Mashup: Body

<iframe style="border: none" src="//html5-player.libsyn.com/embed/episode/id/5703179/height/90/width/640/theme/custom/autonext/no/thumbnail/yes/autoplay/no/preload/no/no_addthis/no/direction/backward/render-playlist/no/custom-color/87A93A/" height="90" width="640" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen oallowfullscreen msallowfullscreen></iframe>

Here I am out on a five-day exhibition with my family. We decided to get out of Dodge and go explore the wilderness of eastern Oregon, and we’re having a great time. What I’ve asked the team to do is put together a mashup of some of the best listener requests that we’ve had for Author of Your Own Story with the over a hundred daily growth hacks we have, so I hope you enjoy over these next couple days. We’re going to revisit these older daily growth hacks. You can go ahead and go back, if you haven’t heard them, go back and do the work and get a chance to actually listen to them.

Remember, go back and listen to the whole library while it’s still available. Now, if you have heard these before, don’t worry. Doing the work again … You’ve changed, so you’re going to have a different outlook on each of these daily growth hacks. That’s it for me. I’m out living the author of my own story lifestyle, and I hope you’re doing the same.

Hi, I’m Doug Holt with Author of Your Own Story and this is your daily growth hack. Now, back in middle school, I started reading fitness magazines and health magazines that my dad had lying around. I used to cut these articles out. One of the things that I read about was upon waking up, drink a solid glass of water, eight ounces or more, first thing in the morning. Back then even I started added that to my routine and saw big benefits.

I saw that when I hydrated myself I just felt better throughout the day. Now then, I didn’t know why, and it wasn’t until college, studying physiology that I actually understood the health benefits of that. One of them is aiding digestion, like I said, alkalizing the blood, as well as cleansing the liver. Just by simply getting up in the morning, grabbing a glass of water, whatever it is, if you’re a Nalgene drinker, I like big Mason jars, that’s what my wife and I drink out of, and adding a squeeze of lemon.

I personally add a whole lemon in there, I use a lemon squeezer and sometimes just my hand to get that juice in there. I’m going to challenge you for this. If you’re not already drinking a big glass of water upon waking up, I’m going to challenge you to do this for a week and write down how you’re feeling. Each morning you get up fill up a glass of water or you can fill it up the night before. Now you want this to be room temperature.

Then add a squeeze of lemon in there. Fresh lemon is what I always recommend. Add that lemon in there, drink the water even before you have your cup of coffee, tea or get out the door. This should be done first thing in the morning and write down how you’re feeling throughout the day. My guess is you’re going to have more energy, you’re going to feel more clear-headed and you’re just going to enjoy the day better.

Now I had a fitness professional reach out to me that needed help with a client. What they were talking about is their client’s back was hurting while working their abs, and so what they were looking for are ways of strengthening the back so they could advance. Now I get this topic a lot or I get this question a lot because of my background. Especially when getting ready for the summer everybody wants to look good when the weather gets warmer.

Oftentimes what these people think they’re doing is working their core when really they’re just working their abs. As they’re working their abs, they notice that their back starts to hurt. They feel a strain and the first thing that comes to mind, of course, is the back is screaming, “Hey, help me!” How do I strengthen it? How do I make that back better? They take all their focus and energy to make their back stronger when really in reality what most likely is happening is the back muscle is doing extra work it shouldn’t be doing for the abdominals and the rest of the core region and therefore is getting fatigued.

Now the analogy that I often use is if you and I, we pick up a really heavy desk, I have a really heavy wood desk in my office, we pick up that desk and we start walking down the street because we need to move it. Halfway down the street, you decide hey, I’m going to get coffee. I’m going to go get a beer. I’m just taking off and I’m left alone carrying that desk. It’s on my shoulders and I’m starting to fatigue. I’m starting to cry for help because there’s no one there.

Am I the problem? No, not at all. The problem is the person that left, left me alone. They checked out. Oftentimes this is what happens with your muscles. Now again, this is a gross generalization, but oftentimes when people complain about a low back pain or strain or fatigue while working out their abs, really what’s happened is they’ve lost that neurological connection and their abs are fatigued and they’ve given out, but they have that determination so their low back starts doing the work when it’s not supposed to. It’s not physiologically meant to do it.

The low back raises its hand and says, “Hey, I’m not supposed to be doing this work. I’m fatigued. Get me out of here.” Now, this happens often, so when I was actually a trainer many years ago I would tell y, clients, “Hey look, there are two options here. One is sucking it up or give it up.” What I meant by that is regain that mind-body connection to your abdominal region and try to perform the exercise safely.

Now if it does not go away, again, that low back stops screaming if it doesn’t stop screaming, quit right then. Oftentimes, and I would say nine times out of 10, people are able to train their abdominal muscles longer and have a better mind-body connection to get the results that they want. Now if they were just focusing on the lower back, what happens, they would actually shorten the muscles of the low back causing additional issues while weakening the abdominal.

The exact opposite approach for the result they’re trying to achieve. Today we’re going to focus on your body. In particular, we’re going to talk about supplementation. We’re going to talk about magnesium. Now, magnesium is a mineral that most people in western societies are deficient in. Magnesium has a lot of benefits. Some of the reported benefits are an increase in energy with supplementation of magnesium, calming your nerves and anxiety, which is something that I can attest to, help with digestion by relieving constipation, relieve muscle aches and spasms.

The reason that is is it helps regulate levels of calcium, potassium, and sodium and your muscles work in what’s called the sodium, potassium model. Also, there’s been reported benefits for heart health, osteoporosis as well as migraines. Now a lot of times with what we’re seeing as modern farming and agriculture, the mineral depletion of the soil is so great that we’re losing magnesium in most western diets.

I originally heard about this back in about 2000, 2001 from a guy named Charles Poliquin who’s a very famous strength coach. I started supplementing with a magnesium back then. You’ll also notice that magnesium’s often put into a lot of sleep supplements. Because of that deficiency that we have in our bodies, it really helps us get a calm state and really relax into sleep.

Now this is also something to watch out for, so with excessive magnesium supplementation, it actually is going to act like a diuretic. Again, I’m going to warn you, when I first started supplementing with this particular brand of calcium, being a typical guy it calls for two teaspoons and I put heaping teaspoons in with a more is the better attitude. It drained me. It drained me because it does act like a diuretic.

That’s my tip for you today. I highly recommend checking out supplementing with magnesium. Of course, I’m not a health professional, excuse, a medical professional, so consult your physician before starting any supplementation program, but I think you’re going to find that magnesium in the evenings as well as potentially in the mornings is going to help you throughout your day.

Now, blue light as you probably have heard comes naturally from the environment, it comes from the sun, but it also comes from staring at screens or fluorescent lights overhead or anywhere else in your household. The problem with this blue light is that it really can disrupt our circadian rhythm. Now our circadian rhythm is the body’s natural biological clock.

One of the problems with this is not only causing strain on the eyes, but it also disrupts sleep patterns. If you read studies, most people, especially in the US, have horrible sleep patterns. We don’t get the recommended seven, eight, nine hours of sleep a day. To top that out, if you’re an entrepreneur listening to this like I am, chances are your average is closer to four or five hours and that just adds up.

To top it off, according to The Harvard Journal, Medical Journal, having blue light can also contribute to the causation of cancer, diabetes, heart disease and even obesity. Obviously, it’s something that we want to avoid, but if you’re like me I have three screens going right now. Oftentimes my cell phone will be going. Because I practice the Author of Your Own Story lifestyle I’m constantly traveling, exploring new things, but oftentimes I have a screen to check in.

Now there are some things that you can do. Of course, if you own an iPhone or an iPad, there are actual settings on there that you can set. It’s called night shift. I set that throughout the day. There’s just no need. Unless I’m watching a movie or something else on my iPhone I have no need to have that extra blue light. That actually helps.

On my computers, all my computers, I use a software program called F.Lux. F.L-U-X. What this does is actually times my day through normal circadian rhythms depending on the time zone that I’m in so when I’m traveling, if I’m at a country in Columbia or if I’m in Europe or even just across the States, it knows the time zone I’m in and adjusts the blue light levels to match the natural circadian rhythms for that time zone.

Of course, I can adjust those as well. To take it a step further I also often wear these blue blocker glasses. I’ll also actually wear something a little bit less evasive. These allow me to work longer hours when I’m staring at a screen. I find that this reduces my eye strain. Also, I also try to move away from the computer every hour. I have an alarm set on my phone so every 50 minutes on every hour it goes off. I walk around, I actually do some exercises, get my body moving, get the blood flowing, but I also have these blue blocking glasses on.

This reduces the total eye strain I have and also helps mitigate hopefully some of these health problems that I just referred to. My question to you would be is to look at your day and often ask yourself how often are you really checking screens? If you have an eight to five job or maybe you’re just at home, if you’re a stay-at-home mom or you’re a busy executive like I am oftentimes it’s even just looking at your cell phone. It becomes habitual for a lot of us.

How can you reduce this blue light and really add that extra value to your sleep patterns? Try a set of blue blocking glasses or try a problem like F.Lux. Hopefully, this will help you produce your eye strain so you can keep going and when your energy’s flowing, produce great results.

One of the things that I keep seeing over in the personal development and business development field is getting up early and the value. We’ve heard the old axiom the early bird gets the worm, but what cost is that? Now, during my career I’ve really focused on getting up early, whether it be for the fitness industry when I owned a gym or for just the entrepreneurial lifestyle, owning a business and wanting to get up before everyone else did so I could be as productive and get ahead of the curve.

What I started doing is getting up at 6 AM, then it became 5:30, then 5 AM. Next thing you know I was getting up at 4 AM in order to get all the things I wanted to do done in the day. This was great for a very short period of time. What I found was I was extremely productive. Before any of my staff got in or before anybody else woke up that I was doing business with I had already gotten done two to three hours worth of work and I felt way ahead of the curve.

This was awesome until it wasn’t. Now what I found and you may find yourself is throughout the day I found myself getting more and more tired. I was a little bit more irritable throughout the day. I was having mood swings. I wasn’t really fun to be around. After about my first and second pot of coffee just to keep myself going and possibly a nap here or there, I really started to know that my health and well being was going by the wayside.

So one of the things I started to do was adding in my daily journal is I started to write down my bedtime, when I actually went to bed, not necessarily fall asleep, but when I was lying in bed with the anticipation of sleeping and then when I woke up. That was great, but the key differential that I did was I put what was my rest factor? For me, I do it on a scale of one to five. I started recording how I was feeling.

I also at the end of the day was recording my productivity. How productive did I feel I was in the five key areas. What I found was is when I actually slept in more, so I actually went to bed at the same time but actually slept in, I was actually a lot more productive. Now, I didn’t get as many to-dos done on my to-do list, but I found that the actual output I was getting was at a much higher level. I was also able to relate to people around me and just, in general, enjoyed my days more.

So what I’m going to ask you to do, your call to action today for your daily growth hack is to start writing down in your journal your times. When you’re going to bed when you’re waking up and more importantly how are you feeling? Something that I found at this stage in my life is actually sleeping in and making sure I’m getting enough rest is the right thing for me. I’ve made a lifestyle for myself that allows me not to have a schedule that’s that tight and maybe you have to get up early.

I totally respect that, but really honor your rest and make sure that your rest is serving you in your five key areas. Have a great day, and remember, share this with at least three people that you know. Build your tribe, start the conversation. I’d love to talk to you about it more in the Author of Your Own Story Group. That’s it for today. Have a great day and remember, go out and be the author of your own story.

If you like these daily growth hacks, it would mean the world to us if you would take a moment to subscribe and review us on iTunes!

Five to Thrive Mashup: Mind

<iframe style="border: none" src="//html5-player.libsyn.com/embed/episode/id/5701562/height/90/width/640/theme/custom/autonext/no/thumbnail/yes/autoplay/no/preload/no/no_addthis/no/direction/backward/render-playlist/no/custom-color/87A93A/" height="90" width="640" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen oallowfullscreen msallowfullscreen></iframe>

So here I am out on a five-day exhibition with my family. We decided to get out of dodge and to explore the wilderness of eastern Oregon and we’re having a great time. What I’ve asked the team to do is to put together a mash up of some of the best listener requests that we’ve had for Author of Your Own Story with the over 100 daily growth hacks we have. I hope you enjoy over these next couple days. We’re going to revisit these older daily growth hacks so you can go ahead and go back.

If you haven’t heard them, go back and do the work and get a chance to actually listen to them. If you remember to go back and listen to the whole library while it’s still available. Now if you have heard these before, don’t worry, doing the work again, you’ve changed so you’re going to have a different outlook on each of these daily growth acts. That’s it for, I’m out living my Author of Your Own Story lifestyle and I hope you’re doing the same.

Hi, I’m Doug Holt with Author of Your Own Story and this is your daily growth hack. Now, about two years ago I came up with the Author of Your Own Story concept and the reason I came up with this as I really wanted to make a bigger impact. I had people asking me how I was living the lifestyle that I was living and how I was able to develop the businesses that I had and do all those things that I was doing. It seemed impossible to them and I knew it wasn’t, we can all do that. It’s my mission to affect, positively, 1 million people across the world and I knew that the best methodology for doing this two years ago, was simply video.

Video and audio formats as well as a website that could produce the content and share it with the masses. You know what, I spent so much time trying to get it perfect, that it took me two years to get here today just to shoot the videos. The lighting wasn’t right, I wasn’t fit enough at the time or I thought maybe next year will be better or next month will be better or I need a better microphone. Do you know what? Imperfect action is going to beat perfect inaction every time and this is the time to change. Go ahead and write down in your journal or a piece of paper your key five areas or what I call your five to thrive.

Each of those areas I want you to write down two to three things right now that you’re holding off until it’s the right time until it’s the right moment, maybe it’s the economy needs to get better or maybe you need to get fitter. Whatever it is for you, we all make up these excuses. I still do it, too. Once you’ve got that, what I want you to do is a list at least three action steps that you can take right now in those areas. What am I talking about when I say feed your mind? One thing I noticed was actually on Facebook and that’s where I keep up with old friends as well as family and all kinds of information and I noticed there were several posts on there asking questions about books and books that people had read recently.

One said, “What is your most favorite book you’ve read recently?” And the second said, “What’s the most influential book you’ve read recently?” What took me wasn’t the questions, but it was actually some of the responses of people saying, “Well, I don’t read or I don’t have time to read books or digest content.” Something of that nature, it was always excuses about why you couldn’t. What caught me by surprise was I was thinking about last night. We’ve got a newborn baby, my wife was frustrated, the baby just would not go to sleep, was crying. I threw on a backpack and I went for a walk.

Most people would think, “Wow, what a waste of time.” Obviously spending time with your child is not a waste of time, but also during that time, I had digested two chapters of an audio book while my baby was sleeping. My little son, he was sleeping soundly, he was safe and during the time I was actually going through two different chapters of a book I was reading. I say reading it was obviously an audio book so uses that term loosely. The audio book I was digesting was actually contrarian to my viewpoints so meaning I knew that the subject matter and the person who wrote this book had opposing opinions of my own. I listened to it deliberately because I wanted another voice, I wanted somebody to give me in my mind another point of view, a contrarian point of view so I could see how the other side was presenting their information so I could see if, perhaps, they’d change my mind.

Maybe there was a point of view I hadn’t seen yet. What I’m going to ask you is, where in your life do you have this dead time, down time? Commuting? Is it walking around the block with your baby? Is it sitting in the auto shop? Where do you have down time that you can audio book into your life? Often times we jump to what’s called shiny new objects syndrome. When you have one project and you’re working on it and then all of a sudden you have that light bulb go off and you have another idea and you jump to that project. Soon you feel like you’re juggling plates and you have all kinds of things going on.

You have maybe 10 projects going on at once but none of them seem to get done. You may even schedule an hour a day each project, but still, you’re not making headway. What I’m going to encourage you to do today is something that I’ve worked with clients for that has had a lot of success. Pick one project, one task and focus on that for the entire day. Pick one large chunk of time that you can barrel down, focus on that project or task and really work on it. Taking breaks, of course, really making sure, maybe 20 minutes, 45 minutes of focus time, take a break and then come back but having that whole chunk of time to work on that project is you’re going to start to see yourself pushing through barriers. You’re going to see yourself pushing past where you currently were, obviously and then actually seeing progress.

I can set aside a few hours of dedicated focused time to know exactly where I left off and not have to go back and recheck those items and to make sure that I’m progressing fast enough. If you have the ability dedicate that focused time, those large chunks of time to a project, you’re going to find that you’re going to progress much quicker than the other people that are around you. I just got off a call with a friend of mine who coaches men to be their absolute best. He asked me a question about one of my goals. One of my goals is to be able to speak conversational Spanish within 90 days. I just want to be able to have a basic conversation in Spanish and I’m far from that goal.

I asked him what other languages he speaks. His response was, “You know what, Doug? My girlfriend and I we tried to learn Italian, but it didn’t work out.” Of course, I asked more, “Well, what happened?” “Well, we hired a coach,” he went on to tell me, “and it just wasn’t structured the right way and the coach was kind of new at and yeah, he spoke Italian but we just didn’t learn anything so I just gave up on it.” I found that to be very interesting because often time how often do all of us start a goal, hit one roadblock and then just give up on it rather than using our resources or our resourcefulness?

I found this with Spanish. I recently relocated to Bend, Oregon, that’s where I’m filming this right now. Here in Bend, it’s beautiful, but there are not nearly as many Spanish speakers as for where I’m from natively in southern California. It’s very easy for me to make an excuse. So what I did was something very different, I went online and hired a Spanish coach and more than that, I came up with a structure for the program. Now as I related this story to my friend you could just see visually his face open up at the possibilities and perhaps the opportunities that he had missed out on. What I did was just something, I took a little shift and became resourceful. I also found that listening to audio books in Spanish, listening to Spanish music, I went out and I actively seek out Spanish speakers. I call up my friends and annoy them to the ends until I get them to speak Spanish to me and try to let me speak my Spanish to them.

It always results in comedy. You see, my friend who is an amazing coach, he didn’t take it to that next level which got me to thinking, where do all of us in our five to thrive in our mind, in our body, and in our soul, in our relationships, in our business do we have a goal and hit one road block and make an excuse? Maybe it’s I’m not going to get as fit as I want to because the gym’s too expensive or it’s too far away or I need new running shoes or I’m not quite there yet, rather than being resourceful and coming up with ways to get to our goals. Where across your five to thrive are you experiencing this making an excuse rather than being resourceful and pushing yourself across that next line?

Where are you falling just short because you’re coming up with a barrier that makes it easy for you not to follow through? Write that down. Then what I want you to do is look at your journal in your five to thrive and look at these areas that you’ve made these excuses. I know I have mine and I’m sure you have yours. Where are you in these areas and what can you do right now, at this very moment to take action? To take the next step?

When we talk about knowing your why, the reason that this came up for me was I was talking to a client of mine and what they wanted was location independence. By most accounts, this person was extremely successful in all areas of their life. Why couldn’t they hit this goal of location independence? When I asked him, “Well, geez, why do you want location independence?” They couldn’t give me an answer. Location independence works for me and it’s something that I wanted, but I also knew why I wanted it. It was something that I strived for and really worked to get and achieved it. For this person, they didn’t really know why they wanted it. They were successful in all other areas of their life, but they didn’t know why.

Each time they got closer to location independence, any time a road block or an obstacle would get in their way, they simply couldn’t push past it. They simply just couldn’t get over those hurdles and that’s because they didn’t have a solid why. I believe that if you have a solid why, there are no roadblocks. You figure out a way to go over, under, around, through, whatever you have to do, that roadblock just doesn’t exist anymore. It’s just an opportunity to pivot and go a different direction. Knowing your why is critical. Whatever your goals may be, small or large, knowing your why will help you get there and will help you when you face adversity.

The larger the goal and I dream big and I have my clients dream even … Just as big if not bigger than I do and one of the things that we really focus on each time they set a goal, is knowing the reason why. What will achieving that goal get you? What will achieving that goal get you in your five to thrive? Really going down and going deep into each goal that you have and identifying the reason why will help you achieve it. Your action step today is to go through your goals list.

Now, if you do have goals, what I want you to do it take each of those goals and start with the biggest ones and really write down why you want it. What is achieving that goal going to get you in all five areas of your five to thrive? What effects is that going to have positively for you? What I want you to do is write down the list or journal about it like it’s a story. Remember, you are the Author of Your Own Story, knowing your why is just one step on a path of success.

Have a great day and remember, share this with at least three people that you know. Build your tribe, start the conversation. I’d love to talk to you about it more in the Author of Your Own Story group and that’s it for today. Have a great day and remember to go and be the Author of Your Own Story.

 

If you like these daily growth hacks, it would mean the world to us if you would take a moment to subscribe and review us on iTunes!

Your Businesses’ First Impression

<iframe style="border: none" src="//html5-player.libsyn.com/embed/episode/id/5695451/height/90/width/640/theme/custom/autonext/no/thumbnail/yes/autoplay/no/preload/no/no_addthis/no/direction/backward/render-playlist/no/custom-color/87A93A/" height="90" width="640" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen oallowfullscreen msallowfullscreen></iframe>

Today I want to talk to business owners, and I wanna talk to you about what is your first impression, or what is the first impression your business gets. Now, today it’s all online. Now, we all know that, right? But as business owners, how often is that missed? You know, I was talking to one of my clients today, and we were talking about his business, and he was working on this very sophisticated marketing funnel, and it was really neat, except for the fact he missed his main first impression, or what I call your home base, which is your website.

Now, why is this important? Well, every time we do a search on the internet … Now, when somebody does a search, it’s a search of intent. It’s a search where you’re actually trying to solve a problem, you’re looking for a solution. Now, maybe you’re looking the best coffees shop in your area or best personal training studio, or maybe you are looking for a solution to a problem, like, “How do I start my own business?” Or, “How do I know what SEO is, or search engine optimization?” There are all kinds of questions people ask, and so when doing this, as a business owner, your first impression, or your home base, is gonna be your website. It’s even more important, I would say, than your storefront in most cases.

Now, I was talking to this client, and he was showing me this funnel, I asked him, I said, “Hey, you know, where do people land at the end of this funnel?” “Well, on my website Doug, obviously,”  he said. And I said knowingly, I said, “Well, how is your website performing? If I go onto your website, how is it working?” And he just didn’t know. So we checked, and I’m gonna give you a few resources that you can use right now. Now, if you don’t own your own business, what I recommend is going and checking this out with the company you work for, if you have an employee, and just check it out, and maybe show somebody in the IT department, or somebody at the C-Suite level, the business owner’s always a good idea.

But a couple things you can do. One is SightSpeed. Now, Google has an actual URL you can go to, if you go ahead and look at developers.google.com, and it’s PageSpeed Insights is the tool that I’m referring to. And you can paste the website URL into that, and actually see the score. Now, it’s gonna rate you on a score from zero to 100, for both desktop and mobile. Now, if your product or service is really tailored to the middle class or upper middle class, you wanna look much more towards mobile.

Conversely, you’re also gonna wanna look at that for people of lower incomes, because they don’t have computers. So it’s kinda the lower middle class that’s mostly gonna be using laptops, or students, depending, but again, this is all shifting, and we’re seeing search engine optimization, or Google and Bing, really diving into PageSpeed. So if you got a score below 80, that’s something you wanna change right away, and hire a professional to help you do that.

Also, how does your website rate, and how does it rate against your competitors? So you can go over to brandedinnovation.com, and you can actually do a website comparison. And what this is gonna do is take you and one of your competitors, and do some basic checks, and just see some missing elements, or potential elements, and make sure that you have them in place. Now, if you have them in place, great, you get a gold little badge. And if you don’t, you’re gonna get a red mark. And this will allow you to see exactly where you stand, on a very basic level, with some of the key elements of search engine optimization.

Now, it’s also gonna show you the same with one of your competitors, and also what your rankings might be. Now, this is very, very important. Now, full disclosure, Branded Innovation is one of my companies, so I own the company, and I can speak very highly for them of course, but also this is something that I know really well also.

Now the third thing that you wanna do is also when looking at your website, is have somebody go onto your website and look at their actual intent. What are the first few things that they do? Now, I always recommend putting a heat map behind your website. Now, what a heat map is, is just a way where you can actually see someone’s mouse move through the screen, and where their clicks are going on your website.

Now, as somebody who’s ran an agency for many, many years, often times we’ll put a heat map in the back of a website once we take it over from marketing, and we’ll notice that people are clicking in areas that we didn’t necessarily know about, or at least the business owner didn’t. For example, they might be clicking on a picture that doesn’t go anywhere. Now, if we’re seeing clicks on there, those are intent, those are signs of intent, meaning someone wants something to happen. What we wanna do is then go back and change that image to have it click to where we want them to go.

So these are three basic things that any business owner can do, and can do really quickly, and all of them are free. Now, the heat map might cost you money, depending on the company you’re using, but there’s a variety of free heat map sources that are out there. And maybe you require somebody to actually install it for you, depending on the website they’re utilizing. So try these three. Again, if you’re an employee, go ahead and try three now anyway, and give it to your boss; it’s a great report to get. As always, look at your business from the perspective of where your potential customer is going, but also look at the way that you utilize the internet. When we utilize the internet, we’re using it for intended purposes, and your business is no different.

So that’s my tip for you today. Remember, go out and be the author of your own story.

 

If you like these daily growth hacks, it would mean the world to us if you would take a moment to subscribe and review us on iTunes!

What If You Could Transform Your Life For The Better In Just 90 Days?