In a conversation I had with a friend of mine, we were talking about goals and how people actually strive for goals and New Years resolutions. Now often times if you look at the statistics, New Year’s resolutions just don’t play out. And why is that? It’s because a lot of us just settle. We set these goals on an arbitrary timeline and then we just settle for mediocrity right. We settle for what was or the easy path.

Where in your life do you find mediocrity? When I go back through my journal and I look at my goals and I set goals on a daily, weekly, quarterly, yearly and then multi-year basis. So I’m looking at these, of things that I want to achieve and then I’m looking at how do I break these down? But when I was going back through my goals or actually back through my journal, and looking at some of the goals that I had, and wondering why I didn’t actually achieve some of these. And I was looking at it and I had the knowledge, I had the tactics, I had the resources. I had the resourcefulness to achieve all of the goals that I set for myself. But why wasn’t I achieving those particular goals? And the truth is, for me anyway, I was settling. I was being mediocre in several categories for myself.

Several categories in my life. And that’s just not good enough. And when I look at that, I look at my journal and my life and I think about the clients that I coach and how I’m helping them work through whatever things are coming up for them. And you got to understand, most of my clients are multi-millionaires. And so most people look at them as these huge successes but to themselves, they’re looking to get better. And that’s really what the key is right. You always want to better than you are now in comparison. And what I mean by that is, you don’t want to compare yourself to somebody that’s not achieving goals that you want. And maybe you hit your goals and you have to celebrate. I mean, I highly recommend celebrating and really taking in all that you’ve achieved. But at the same time, I want you to look forward to where you want to be, where you really want to allow yourself to step in to.

And often times when you look at that, and if you’re being honest with yourself, and you look at your five to thrive, where in your five to thrive are you being mediocre? Where are you just getting by? Is it in your business? Are you a business owner and you’re just, I’m sailing, I’m making enough money. Not a big deal. I’m traveling, I’m doing the things that I want to do. Is that okay? Is that truly okay? Or could you actually amp up your business so you could actually use the additional revenue that you’re bringing in for philanthropy? So you can give back to the world to provide jobs.

Or maybe it’s in your relationships. Maybe you’re just coasting by. Maybe you’re doing those little things in your relationships that are just good enough. You reach out to a friend once a month or so to check in with them or maybe it’s in a love relationship you’re in, a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, spouse relationship. Whatever it may be and you’re just getting by.

You’re just really kind of doing the bare minimum. Maybe you’re stepping up above the bare minimum but for you, for you in particular as an author of your own story, that’s mediocre. That’s not great. And do you really want to live a life just in mediocrity? I know I don’t. And my guess is if you’re taking time to watch me right now or listen to this at this moment, you are not one that wants to settle for mediocrity and I applaud you for that right. So what I want you to do is grab your journal, write down your five to thrive, your mind, your body, your soul, your relationships and your business. And then I want you to write down, I want you to be honest with yourself and really look at the truth in those areas. And where are you being mediocre?

I know I can look down at my five to thrive and all areas, all five areas, I can find places where I’m allowing myself to play small. I’m allowing myself to be mediocre. Now my guess is, maybe consider the possibility that you might be doing this too. And so this is where we get to be honest with ourselves right. And honest with each other, you and me, right here right now. Where are we versus where we want to be and how do we bridge that gap between the two? So for example, let’s just talk about business. So maybe your gross sales are really big but your net isn’t as much as you want to and you’ve just kind of been coasting home. Your take home is decent, but you know, maybe it’s nothing that’s really providing your family with the security that they really want.

Maybe it’s your child’s education fund. Maybe that’s not fulfilled or your retirement package. Whatever it is for you. What I want to do is write that down, just be honest with yourself. Just be really honest. Are you doing all you can do with the capacity that you have, that you’ve been given? So if you can’t and you’re not and you want to improve, right there is … You have to want to bridge that gap. Now if you want to bridge that gap, what is the gap between where you are today and where you want to be? What is that little void in the middle? I want you to write that down as well. What is it that’s actually doing for you?

In your body might be an example. Maybe your … When most of the people that are out there in the world, not let alone the United States, that you want to lose weight. You want to lose body fat really is what you want or you want to increase lean body mass which is muscle right. So what is actually stopping you? Are you doing daily exercises? Are you supplementing an already healthy diet? Or are you getting caught in that storm that we all have been caught up in, is the new diet fad coming out? Are you ketogenic, are you paleo, are you low car, high car, where are you with that? Are you getting caught up in the minutia? What is the gap that is stopping you? And then bridge that gap.

This is what allows us to become the authors of our own story because we can write into our own dreams. Every day you have the chance, the possibility, the opportunity to write a new story for yourself. To re-write yourself as the hero of your own adventure. It doesn’t have to be … You don’t have to live in a construct of somebody else. Not live in my construct or anybody else’s. You have the opportunity to live life on your terms, the way that you want to and that’s what I want for you.

If you haven’t already and you’re interested in having conversations that matter, conversations that take this to a much deeper level, that allow you to accelerate your growth, go over to the Author of Your Own Story university page and get on that waitlist. There’s no commitment there. I just want to make sure that if you’re on the waitlist, you have a chance to get in. I know several people were never able to get in and I want to make sure you have that opportunity. It would be just a shame that 2018 rolls by like 2017 just did, or is about to I guess, and then you haven’t hit your goals. You haven’t actually been able to live the life that you deserve. I want that for you. And that’s what we created the university.

It’s at a price point that allows anybody to step into it. And so anyway, I want you to have that opportunity and that’s why I’m so passionate about it. Of course, what I really, really want you to do is please just go out and inspire someone by being yourself, being the author of your own story. You’ll never really know how many people you actually inspire. I hear letters from all of you, not all of you, but many of you out there.

They’re messaging me on social media, that are sending me messages via email or writing to Author of your Own Story to tell me about your adventure. Or tell me about how you actually stepped out of your fear, stepped out of your comfort zone and stepped into your own life and how that’s inspired people around you, more than you ever, ever thought was possible. And that is what I want for you. That’s so compelling and that’s a life worth living and a life worth living in to. That’s it for me today. I will see you tomorrow. Have a great day. Go out and be the Author of Your Own Story.

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When you change the way you look at things, the way you look at things actually changes. Now, what do I mean by that? Well, if you’re always a grump person, or if you’re always assuming things are gonna go bad, you start to notice all the bad things in life. All the bad things are happening in your mind, your body, your soul, your relationships, your business.

Conversely, if you always expect the best, you’re always looking for the good in people, you see the good in your Five to Thrive as well as all around you. Now, I know this sounds a little abstract to many of you, so let me use an analogy that I use time and time again that really, I think, drive it home. Have you ever found yourself really interested in a car? Now for me, several years ago, it was Sprinter vans. I wanted a 4×4 Sprinter van so I could convert it into my ultimate off-road lifestyle vehicle. Where I could work from, I could play from, and travel the world.

I hadn’t seen any. I saw them online, but never say them around town, or driving around, and that’s what I wanted. Well, soon enough, maybe a couple of days later, I was seeing Sprinter van after Sprinter van. Everywhere I would go, I would notice them, I would see them. Roof racks, ladders out the sides, 4×4 tires, it was so exciting. All of a sudden everybody had a Sprinter van except for me.

Eventually, I bought one, I converted it, and I absolutely love it. But I’ve also had this happen with other things, with other cars that I wanted. I really like Land Rovers, I like the look, I like the fell, I like the way they drive. Next thing you know, everybody’s driving them. I’m seeing them everywhere when originally they were just hard to find.

Were more driving Sprinter vans or were more people driving Land Rovers? No, absolutely not. I changed the way I was looking at things. I actually to started to frame my mind to look for these objects, because that’s what I was focusing on. Now, the same thing can happen to you, right? So, let’s say you’re expecting the world to end, and I had a conversation in Santa Barbara with somebody who was kind of somewhat joking about this. But, everything that they were talking about had a negative twist, had a reason the world was gonna end. You know we had global warming, we have US politics, we have all of these things coming in, and everytime something that was mentioned, even if it was insects, they carried a disease, it was always negative. And you could actually physiologically see this on the person, and it weighing them down.

Conversely, I had a talk with somebody else, and they were so upbeat and they saw the world as expanding, as ever abundant. And when we talked to them they just filled the room with energy. And filled me with energy and love, just a basic conversation. In everything, they saw US politics was changing, and it was great because it was gonna evolve into something better. Yeah, the insects carry diseases, but the insects are pollinating the flowers, which allows us to have food in abundance. They saw it totally differently, and it was just a mindset change.

So, the way that you look at things changes, always, the way that you actually interact with them. So I’m gonna ask you this, grab your journal, right now, write out your Five to Thrive and leave a couple of space. So it’s your mind, your body, your soul, your relationships, and your business. Where in each of those sections are you currently viewing something that if you change the way you look at it, you change the paradigm, it’ll actually affect the way that you see things? Effect the way that you react to the world?

So, I’ll give you a couple of examples. Body, right? If you’re always walking around saying I’m tired, or I’m fat, and I’ve shared with you my own dialogue was always being tired. And when I flipped the script on that, telling myself, “I’m not really tired, I have an abundance of energy, if I won the lottery right now, I wouldn’t be taking a nap, I’ll tell you that right now.” Right? So when I changed that, all of a sudden I have all of this energy coming into my life, and I realized, “Wow, everything I’m doing gives me passion and energy.” I can’t look at it the same anymore. It changes the way that I see things.

Where is this happening to you? Are you walking around saying “Jeez, I just can’t workout because I don’t enough time,” or, “I wish I was only five pounds heavier, I’m so fat.” Whatever it is, where can you flip that script, where can you flip your paradigm and see things a little bit differently, that will allow you, give you an advantage or will allow you to better act as the Author of Your Own Story. It’ll create a better system.

Because think about it, right? If you’re walking through the negative thought pattern, or one that’s disempowering, so it’s not empowering you to do your best, you have the opportunity of changing that. That’s a paradigm shift. You have the opportunity to see it differently.

So let’s use global warming as an example. Global warming, obviously horrible. I’m a believer, I think most of you probably are too. This is something that just isn’t good, any way you look at it, right? I go outside, it’s hot, it’s ridiculous. I’ve got fair skin so I get burnt so easily. But there are other ways to look at that. I can focus just on the negative aspects of the weather. But I can also go, “I can go outside and enjoy the beautiful air, the freshness of the mountains,” and not focusing on the negativity of global warming, but focusing on the beauty that’s around me.

And all of a sudden by changing that paradigm and coming up with five things I’m grateful for, for the outdoor environment, just five. If I can do that, it changes my paradigm. It shifts my feelings, right. So when I think about the negativities of global warming, it depresses me. Depresses me. But when I actually think about five things I’m grateful for about being outside, that excites me and empowers me and it gives me more energy that I could apply to more things like the Author of Your Own Story University, or this podcast, or this video that you’re watching. It really depends.

That is just a paradigm shift. I use this every single day in my business. In my business lifestyle, I use this all the time. Things happen in business. Now, it’s the way you perceive them and the way you react to them that makes it completely different. So, what I want you to do is write down your Five to Thrive, write down just disempowering beliefs or disempowering thoughts, or the way that you’re seeing things in your life that might be disempowering you. I want you to write those down, and then write the converse thing. Write the opposite.

So, for example, if it’s I’m fat, then you can also say, “Hey look, you know what, I have an abundance of energy that allows me to keep going.” Or, “I have plenty of muscle that will allow me to do the things I want to do.” There are all kinds of ways to do it. And if you can’t think of something, let’s say you hit soul, that’s a common one that people have blocks around for some reason, but if you can’t think of something think about any complaints that you have in that area. Maybe it’s “I can’t think of anything.”

What are those complaints and then what’s the converse of that? Where do you want that to be, and change that pattern? Start looking at the pattern of what you want it to be, and see things through that lens. Yes, it’s a practice. Are you gonna see it right away? Maybe, maybe not. But if you practice seeing things through that lens over time, just like working out, it becomes a muscle that you can use.

Remember, you’re setting this to be an advantage for you, that’s the goal here. Make it empowering for you rather than disempowering. So empowered thoughts, conversations, but also the way you see the world, especially in your Five to Thrive, will help you better accelerate your journey and becoming the Author of Your Own Story.

That’s it from me today. As always, build your tribe, share this with at least three other people today. Doesn’t have to be the same three people. Share it with them and get conversations going. Conversations that matter, and conversations that are going to allow you to surround yourself with people who are going to continue to empower you.

Have a great a day, and remember, go out and be the Author of Your Own Story.

If you like these daily growth hacks, it would mean the world to us if you would take a moment to subscribe and review us on iTunes!

Just the other day, I was doing an intensive coaching session with a client of mine. Now, these coaching sessions typically are done in person over one to two full days. We happened to be doing this one remotely because this person was actually overseas. Now, I’m not going to tell you too much about his business, but I’m going to try to relate this story to you because you definitely know who I’m talking about.

They were having a problem. They were telling me, “Doug, I have all these things I want to do in 2018, but this is the problem. One of these things I want to do is hosting an event.” Now, this is an event for business owners and, again, I can’t go into specifics because you definitely know who this person is, but when they’re planning this event, they had to have a specific event coordinator.

“I have to have this event coordinator to scope out the right location, do all the planning for me so, that way, I don’t have to do it and it’s perfect around the weather, the seasons, all these things. Then I have to have the right people, right? Doug, I have to have the right people at this particular event and then, at this event, I need to make sure that the location is gripping. I need to also make sure that everybody has everything they need to get there. I want to make this event out of this world.”

As I was talking and going through it, I was hearing all the reasons they couldn’t do the event, all the reasons that the event had to be perfect. What they were doing was creating a maze for themselves, a maze where they had to go through all of these hoops through the maze and make sure they made the right turns and didn’t get through roadblocks in order to have this event.

Now, this event happened to be around the content they are producing. Now, their content was amazing, amazing content that any of us probably would pay top dollar for. However, what they were stuck on was making sure that this one particular person, an event coordinator, was the one that took care of it for them. Why? They didn’t have a reason why.

I asked them, I said, “Is there anybody else that could do this in the world?”

“Well, sure, Doug. Yeah, there’s a lot of people that can do this.” “Okay, let’s take that person out. Right?”

“How many places in the world can this event be held?”

“Oh, Dough, that’s infinite. There are so many places that it can be held.”

“Okay, let’s take that problem out.”

We started eliminating problems over and over again and, if you can actually see right behind me, if you’re watching this, I actually drew a horrible … on my whiteboard, a picture of a maze, right, a picture of a maze, if you imagine this, if you listen in to your head, just a typical maze that you would see as a kid, right that you’re drawing on, and then what I said is “There’s so much … such an easier way for this.” Right?

We all create mazes in our heads for kinds of things especially relationships and business, but what I did is I said, “Hey, look, you’re here. You’re at the beginning of this maze. Why can’t you just draw a line straight through the maze and just go right at it? Go with laser-like focus and eliminate these barriers.”

Let’s say this event coordinator isn’t available, and you just told me there’s a lot of people that can coordinate this event, so that shouldn’t be a problem with a little bit of planning. You also said there was a problem in the maze where you have to go through this hoop because the location has to be great, but you told me it could be done anywhere. You also told me that the content was amazing, and I know it is, so the truth is people are going to come to the event for the content. They’re not coming for the location, and so what I did is I related a story to him.

I went to one of Tony Robbins’ events, and we had two options, my wife and I. We could either go to Fiji to Tony Robbins’ resort and attend the event and the conference inside, or we could go to Florida, an island off the coast of Florida and attend the conference inside. To me, what I told him is, “I didn’t want to go to … I want to go to Fiji, but I didn’t want to go to Tony Robbins’ resort that’s inside.”

Sure, you have a couple of days here or there where you’re outside. You’re going to have some little bit of time, but if I’m going to a resort to relax, I’m going there to relax. If I’m going to an informational seminar or some place to learn, I’m going there to learn. I’m all in, so I’m not going there. Tony Robbins could have it in Stockton, California. He could have it in Bend, Oregon. It didn’t matter to me. I was going to the event for the event, for the content and the people that I would meet, not for the tourism. I’m going to Fiji at another time. Right?

I was telling him the same story. It’s the same audience for him, but how many times do we do this in relationships? This is the one I see all the time when I’m coaching people. Right? “Doug, I know I’ll be in love.”

“How do you know you’ll find the right person?” would be a question I’ll ask somebody when they’re telling me they’re looking for the right person. In fact, I had this conversation with another coach a couple of weeks ago, and here’s what she told me.

She said, “Doug, the right guy, what he’s going to do is he’s going to … You know, I’m probably going to be out, you know, with friends maybe at happy hour or something and, while I’m with my friends, you know, he’s going to … He notices me. He’s going to walk across the bar and, you know, kind of tap me on the shoulder lightly and smile and have a really engaging conversation with me right away.

“He’s not going to ask me boring questions like what’s my name, what do I do, but he’s going to have these deep conversations with me. You know, he’ll buy me a drink because he’s a gentleman, of course, and, you know, once he does that, he’ll, he’ll … you know, he and I will go over in a corner and have a conversation talking about, you know, life and love and deep things,” and she happens to be really, really into spirituality, so they’ll start having a conversation about spirituality and then, obviously, what he’ll do is he’ll get his car and he’ll take her to the door and walk her up to the stairs and give her a gentle kiss goodnight, but not try to go anywhere further.

He’s just going to stop there because he’s a gentleman and then, immediately, right when he gets home, he’s going to be sending her a text telling her how great the evening was and then, the next day, he’ll call and then, “Approximately two or three days later, Doug, then this guy, you know, then he’s going to be sending me flowers, uh, to my office.”

Anyway, she just went on and on, and she was into that story about how this perfect guy was, so I was like, “Wait a minute. Let me, let me get this straight. So, you know, you’re, you’re kind of … You’re a woman, you’re progressive, and you’re expecting to be out at happy hour, you know, with a group of friends, so your girlfriends essentially, so let girlfriends five or six.

“Now, you want this guy, this very sensitive man that you’ve just described to walk across, interrupt that group of women and immediately start having a deep conversation about spirituality without knowing anything about you, and then you want him to buy a drink even though you’re an extremely progressive woman and you don’t like men doing certain things for you, except for when you want them to, then you want him to take you away from your friends?”

Anyway, the list went on. You know where I’m going with this. Right? She made it so complicated to find the perfect man. She made it almost impossible because that is a hard scenario, but that was the only way in her mind or in this conversation that she was going to find love. I can go on and on about this, but we do this in every area of our lives.

Fitness, we do this. I see it all the time. When I owned my own gym, a fitness facility, I saw it all the time with people’s excuses on how it had to be perfect in order for them to go for a walk or a run even. It’s just ridiculous.

We all do it. I do it. I do it often actually, but one of the differences is I recognize that when I’m doing it that I’m creating a maze. I’m creating a maze in my mind. It’s a roadmap. In my mind, it’s like a maze that I’m trying to protect myself for some reason where I’m making it more complicated.

Now, what I want you to do here is realize that these mazes and constructs we make in our mind are just easy ways of us giving excuses why we’re not going to achieve the results that we want. We’re making it difficult. We’re making it too hard on ourselves.

Look at your Five to Thrive. In your mind, in your body, in your soul, in your relationships, in your business, where are you making things too complicated? Where are you making it really hard for you to get the outcome that you truly desire? Is it in a happy relationship? Are you making it too hard for the other person? Are you asking him to read your mind? That’s how you feel loved and that’s how you become happy? That’s not true, and you know that. Maybe you’re making it hard on yourself.

Maybe it’s in your business. Maybe you’re making … your launch of a new product way too complicated. Maybe it’s an event that you’re trying to set up and you’re making this event more than it needs to be. Right? People come to events for the content, if it’s a good event. They don’t come just for the pizzazz.

Maybe this is in another area. Maybe it’s in an area of your mind. Maybe it’s too hard for you to learn Italian. I talked about this in another episode of the Daily Growth Hack where someone told me, “I can’t learn Italian because the teacher I went to in my city, he was horrible.”

“Aren’t there other teachers?” “Yes.” “Can’t you do it online?” “Yes,” just making a maze or restrictions for yourself in order for you to not get that result. What I want you to do is cut through that maze and do laser-like focus and go right after it and cut out the BS.

That’s it for me today. As always, go over to authorofyourownstory.com where can get the latest tips, tricks and techniques delivered right to your inbox each and every day. I’m going to ask you one more thing. I want you to go out today and inspire people simply by living the Author of Your Own Story lifestyle. Have a great day!

If you like these daily growth hacks, it would mean the world to us if you would take a moment to subscribe and review us on iTunes!