I was talking to a client of mine; we’ll just call him Tim. Tim was having an issue. He said, “Doug, what happens is it’s like somebody else possesses me and they take over. I know what I should be doing, and I know when I’m making the wrong decisions. When I make a wrong decision, I just beat myself up. It’s like somebody else takes over and possesses my body.” What Tim was talking about in this conversation with me was, in particular, he had a very distinct goal. He has distinct goals in all five categories of his five to thrive, but in this one, he broke it.

His daughter had a birthday two days ago and Tim woke up in the morning a little stressed and continued to eat almost the entirety of the leftover birthday cake. Tim’s goal was very specific on getting him to a specific weight as well as getting him prepped for an event that he was doing, which is a tough. To make this event happen, Tim needed to clean up his diet, so the birthday cake was out of order. Tim said what a lot of us feel like. We feel like somebody possesses our body and takes us over like an evil spirit comes in and we know what we should be doing, but we make these excuses up, or the Devil’s on the shoulder telling us not to do it or to do something different. I asked him, I said, “Tim, if you were to name that spirit that takes you over, that other version of you, that Tim 2.0 so to speak, what would you call that person? Who would that be? They show up often, you know them, you know them intimately well. What would you call them? What name would you give them?”

Tim immediately replied, “Eeyore.” I was like, “Eeyore? That’s weird.” He said, “Yeah, Eeyore, you know, Eeyore like Winnie-the-Pooh. Eeyore was always negative, Doug.” He went on to tell me, he’s like, “When Eeyore takes over, I eat the cake. When it’s sunny outside and people are cheery, I’m down and Eeyore takes over. I don’t want to work, I don’t want to get things done to build my business or to get ready for this event, and I’m relationships I’m just negative when Eeyore’s there.” I said, “Great, that’s awesome, Tim. We all have an Eeyore, or whatever name. We probably have multiple personalities in there that take over the show.” I asked him a question that I’m going to ask you too, “When you’re feeling your most powerful when you’re in your center and you’re feeling amazing, when you’re feeling that you could take on the world, what is that person called?” Instantly, Tim answered, “Musafa,” and again, took me back, “Musafa?” He’s like, “Oh yeah, Musafa, I feel like I’m the king of the jungle out there. I feel, my head’s loaded high, I have so much energy, I could take on the world. I can do anything, Musafa is the king.”

I said, “That’s great, Tim, that’s awesome. Eeyore eats the cake, what does Musafa do?” “Oh, no, Musafa wouldn’t eat the cake. Musafa gets up in the morning on time, every time, and what Musafa does is he has the green smoothie you gave me, Doug.” To give you guys a background, I have a green smoothie that I give my clients, a recipe, and they follow that in the morning. He’s like, “Musafa eats his green smoothie, feels energy throughout the day, it carries him on, he can conquer the world, where Eeyore, he wakes up in the morning and eats his daughter’s birthday cake and he crashes after half an hour of that sugar high and then beats himself up about it. He feels horrible. He takes a nap and he’s not productive the rest of the day, the whole day’s ruined.” Interesting. How many of us have an Eeyore or a Musafa in our lives? All of us do, in different varying degrees. You may call them something else, you may not call them anything, although I do advise you to look at these things and give them names, these different personality types, because you can draw upon them at any time you want to to give you power, especially when Eeyore takes over.

I went on to ask Tim, I said, “Okay, tell me what happens in your mind, in the category of your mind? What happens when, in your mind, what does Eeyore do?” He’s like, “Easy, Eeyore just sits in front of the TV and watches just crap. He watches the news, world events that change on a weekly basis that no one’s talking about the next week. He gets down, he watches just crappy TV.” “Alright, well, Tim, in the area of your mind, what does Musafa do?” “Musafa,” Tim got really excited, “Musafa reads. He reads for at least a half an hour every night, if not more. He just digests content and then shares it with his family.” “That’s awesome, what about your body?” He’s like, “Doug, I just told you. Eeyore wakes up and eats the cake, Musafa has the green smoothie you gave me. He has energy throughout the day. He is always priming his body and taking care of it and working towards his goal, that tough [inaudible 00:04:37], where Eeyore is just sitting on his ass.”

I was like, “Okay, great, that’s a great analogy between the two. What about in the area of your soul?” He’s like, “Huh, interesting. Eeyore, when he’s supposed to meditate,” which is part of Tim’s practice, “He’s supposed to meditate, he just doesn’t do it. He’s too tired, too lazy or is too busy and makes up these excuses, where Musafa meditates twice a day and Musafa takes it a step further and reads scripture in front of his family at the dinner table.” See, Tim’s a Christian and so for Tim reading scripture and explaining to his family at the dinner table meant a lot to him, but yet Eeyore was running the show more often than Musafa, so he had this distinction now. “What about your relationships, Tim? What are you doing in these relationships when each of these two people takes over? Eeyore, the person that brings you down, or Musafa that gives you power each and every time?”

Tim said, “Oh, relationships? Eeyore is cranky, Eeyore is moody, Eeyore is kind of a jerk. No one really wants to be around Eeyore. When he goes to parties, he kind of sits in the corner, does his own thing, mumbles a little bit, doesn’t want to be there and everybody knows it. He just really wants to be by himself.” “Alright, well what about Musafa?” He goes on, “Musafa is the life of the party.” Tim is an extrovert to the nines and he was telling me, “Musafa is the life of the party, he’s going around, he’s taking care of people, he’s shaking hands. He’s excited to be there and be with each and every person that he sees. He’s also always taking care of other people. He’s just reaching out to his friends and saying what’s up and how are you doing and how can I help you, and Musafa, he’s the king. He’s running around, he’s having a great time. Energy is abundant and he’s applying that energy to the relationships. He’s putting those emotional deposits in.”

“Awesome, that’s great, now what about your business?” “Oh, Eeyore? Eeyore, whatever, Eeyore doesn’t care about the business. It’s ebbing and flowing, being a business owner’s tough and I should just quit my job or get a job and quit some of my business or throw it away. Eeyore’s just kind of down about it, I just don’t really want to go to work.” “Alright, well what about Musafa? How does Musafa feel about your business?” He’s like, “Doug, when I’m Musafa, when I have that power in me, when I feel that I’m the king, I go out and I conquer. I’m talking to my employees, I’m motivating them. I’m talking to my clients and motivating them. I’m closing deals regularly. I feel like, after a couple of hours of work, I feel like I could do this forever and time just seems to fly by. I’m in my zone.” When looking at Tim, I told him, I said, “Tim, look at this. You could be Musafa any time you want, or you could also choose to be Eeyore, but when that time comes up when you see the cake there, ask yourself what would Eeyore do and what would Musafa do and choose Musafa every time.”

That’s an easy way of doing it, so I’m going to ask you, in your journal, in your five to thrive, where do you want to be? Write those categories, come up with a name. When that Devil’s on your shoulder, what’s the name for that person? Is it Doug? is it Doug 2.0? Is it Eeyore? Is it Musafa? Who is that? Who’s the Devil on your shoulder? What’s the name you’d give him? I encourage you to name that person. You could name him anything you want to. When you’re feeling in your power, you’re feeling at the top of your game, we all know what this feels like, come up with the wind, come up with the success. I use the analogy for myself, “What is it like if I felt like I could bench press the world?” I like to work out, bench press the world, and it just brings me energy even when I’m tired, and right now I’m sick and tired, but it brings me that energy. Who is that person? Name that person for you, whatever it may be.

Name that person who has all that energy that you can call upon at a moment’s notice. When you’re in those moments of indecision, those moments where you come to the Y in the road and not sure which direction to take and you know that your version of Eeyore starts to speak, Musafa can crush him and take him on the other road. Write down your five to thrive after you’ve come up with a name for your Devil on your shoulder, but also the angel or your power center, what are those names, and then write down where you seem to stumble most in your five to thrive where the Devil on your shoulder or your Eeyore takes over when you’d rather have your Musafa take over, or your angel or your power place. Then what I want you to do is identify those, and moving forward through your day, what I want you to do is really check in with yourself. I recommend pulling out your phone and setting your alarm, and I recommend six to eight times a day that your alarm goes off, it’s an easy melody or a vibration in your pocket if you want to, because you won’t be able to hear, and then just check in.

For Tim, I said, “Check in, are you being Eeyore or Musafa?” Getting feedback from Tim, I can tell you what? He was Musafa more times than not. Even when he wasn’t being Eeyore, he was just being regular old Tim, but when he got that alarm and started saying, “Am I being Eeyore or Musafa,” he chose Musafa and it allowed him to close more deals, be more present with his family and increase his path to becoming the author of his own story. That’s what I want for you. As always, go over to authorofyourownstory.com where you can get more tips, tricks and techniques. Make sure you get on our newsletter so you can get these delivered right to your inbox. I would love to hear from you. That’s it for me today, go out and be your version of Musafa and be Author of Your Own Story. Take care.

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We were talking this morning about a family member, a family member going through an extremely hard time. Where the conversation went up was like, “You know what? She’s only meaner, she’s only gotten meaner over time. And even though she’s going through this hardship, instead of seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and actually being nice to other people, she’s actually meaner.” So the conversation went into, and my wife eloquently said, “Hey, you know what happens when bad times come around, is mean people get meaner, happy people get happier, joyful people get more joyful, sad people get sadder. You really go back to that set point that you have, and it just amplifies it.”

Now you’ve often heard this about money, right? You said, when you get money, if you were already a jerk, then you just become a bigger jerk with money. If you’re a really nice person, you just become an even nicer person, probably giving more to others. You know, money amplifies the person that you really are, but so do hard times. Hard times actually bring you back to that set point and amplify what that is. You see, this person is going through an extremely hard time in their life, and all they probably really want is everybody to rally around them. Except for, they’re actually being meaner. They’re actually being meaner to the people around them than they normally are. And they’ve always had a reputation of not being nice, of somebody being extremely, extremely hard to deal with and difficult.

And as they become sicker, and as they’ve gone through this difficult time in their life, they become meaner. And so, today what I want you to think about is, what is your metabolic set point? Not your metabolic set point, I’m sorry, but what is your set point? What is the set point you go to? Are you this person that always gets nicer? Are you the person that just gets a little bit more upset? Maybe you’re not as patient as other people, and when you get sick, how does that play out for you? Getting sick is an interesting time in our lives because we feel weaker, we’re more tired, and we’re a little bit more vulnerable. So who do you become when you get sick? That’s a great thing to journal because what’s gonna happen is you become richer, that’s gonna amplify. If you go through hardships in your life, that will also amplify.

So remember, sad people, get sadder. Mean people get meaner. Joyful people get more joyful. Who do you want to be as you create the author of your own story? I encourage you to grab your journal and write this out now. Be honest with yourself, be honest. I know with myself, I get less patient, and that’s something that I’m working on. Patience is a virtue, they say, and it’s something that I’m actually really working on myself. Because when hard times come, I actually get less patient with people. And really, it’s less patient with myself more than anybody else. So I want to ask you, where are you? And then write it down. And then once you’ve written that down, analyze it. Is this what you want for your life? And if it’s not, change it, and change it in this moment.

One small step makes a big difference. This is just like working out, that repetition is the mother of this kind of success. That’s it for me today. Remember, go to authorofyourownstory.com to get the latest tips, tricks, and techniques so you can uplevel your life and become the Author of Your Own Story.

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Now, I’m still traveling and experiencing the Author of My Own Story lifestyle. Now, while traveling, I’m still able to coach my clients. These are high-level people. These are people that have been extremely successful in all areas of their life at one time or another, and typically have most of their stuff together. Now I share this with you, only to emphasize the fact that having this conversation I had with somebody, this person was an extremely successful business person, as well as family man. What he was finding he was doing was he was getting tired. He was getting disconnected from his family, the people that he was around. What was happening as he was busy taking care of everyone else, and not taking care of himself. Sure, he had actually a great life. He was doing some workouts. He was doing all the things on paper, but he wasn’t feeding his soul. After doing a little research and talking to him, what really was happening is he was busy making sure everyone else was okay, and not living his own life, life on his own terms. He was extremely successful, yet what he was doing was making sure his staff was taken care of before he was.

Now, in a lot of leadership books, we’re taught this is the way to go. The leader eats last, and I actually subscribe to this theory, but only when the leader is eating very, very well because if the leader is starving, the leader actually can’t leave. The leader can’t help his staff or his team or his followers to the promised land and actually take them to grow. Leaders who are taking care of themselves first are able to show up in a bigger way for their staff, for their family, for their friends, and for everybody else around them. Now, for this particular individual, what he was doing was making sure everybody else was taken care of, and then he had himself last. He was going to make sure that he can live his dreams after he took care of everyone else’s. What was happening more and more was that the people were leaning on him? They were not actually trying to figure a thing out themselves because they knew, hey, he’ll take care of it. Let’s just call him Rick.

They would say something like, “Hey, Rick’ll take care of it. Let’s just give the job to Rick.” Or, “Huh, I don’t know how to do this. Rick knows how to do it.” This started happening with his friends, his family, all of his staff members to the point where he was working himself to death. What happened is at least once every two weeks he’d almost have to take a complete day off work and just kind of lay in bed or overly caffeinate himself and try to push through, which never worked. After uncovering this, what I want to ask you is how many of you are parents, and you’re not taking care of yourself first? Or how many of you are in a relationship where you’re constantly trying to take care of the other person while not feeding your own cup? As business owners, how often are we doing this as well? We’re making sure our staff is taken care of, while not delegating and having the trust in them to actually finish and follow through. Remember, delegate but verify, and this doesn’t mean you do all the work yourself.

So what I want you to do is really simply in your five to thrive, where are you not filling your own cup and filling up everybody else’s? Where are you taking care of other people and worried about what other people are doing rather than just taking care of yourself first? Where are you not taking care of you? What I want you to do right away is calendar that out. Is it your body? If it’s your body, what I want you to do is schedule a workout first thing in the morning. It’s the first thing we want to do. We talked about the 90-91. Now, for that 90-91, if a previous daily growth act, which you’ll see right here, what I want you to do is go ahead and take that 90-91 is and apply it to this area of your life where you’re not filling your own cup first. Now, once you have this, you have it calendared in, I want you to execute. What I’m sure you’re going to find, just like most people and clients that I work with, is when you actually take this one thing and focus on it and fill your cup up first, you’re able to help other people in a much greater way, because you show up as a better man, a better woman, and as the author of your own story.

That’s if for me today. As always, go to AuthorOfYourOwnStory.com where you get more tips, tricks, and techniques delivered right to your inbox. Have a great day. Remember to go out and be the Author of Your Own Story.

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