To You Vs. For You
May 12, 2018
Now, this is going to be a quick tip but I want you to write this in your journal: What if life wasn’t happening to you but was actually happening for you?
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Now, this is going to be a quick tip but I want you to write this in your journal: What if life wasn’t happening to you but was actually happening for you?
Recently someone told me that you have to beware of your past because you’re going to follow that past with you, whatever you’re doing. I had to say, “I disagree.” In my experience, history only repeats itself if that’s where you’re living, right? The past does not dictate your future unless you’re living in the past.
One of the greatest fears in life is that we are not enough. This is a fundamental fear that crosses all cultures, religions and destinations. We fear that we’re not enough. We’re not enough to be loved. We’re not enough in our business. We’re not enough in our fitness and our health. We’re not good looking enough. We’re not smart enough. We’re not clever enough. We’re not funny enough. We’re not good enough to be a millionaire. We’re not good enough to be a billionaire. We’re not good enough even to make an extra $1,000 a month. We’re not good enough to be in the Author of Your Own Story University. I heard that recently. We’re not good enough to take this journey. We’re not good enough to hire a high level coach and invest in ourselves.
Control and passion. I was talking to a business owner that I’ve been coaching for almost six months now and one of the things that he really wanted was to find more passion about his business. He was like, “Doug, I really want to find more passion. You know, that fire in the belly that you have.” And in the conversation, I said, “Great. That’s fantastic. And that’s something I can definitely help you with.” And I said, “How do you feel about letting go of some control around your business?” You could see his whole state change. He became stoic and almost fearful, but fearful in a protective way.
Now I’m fortunate enough to actually be a mentor and coach to some of the best life coaches in the world. Now people as me, why would you coach coaches, why do they have a coach? Well of course, if you are a coach you need a mentor. You need somebody else to keep you accountable and to coach you and to raise the bar. I have coaches myself and mentors as well, but the point is when I was talking to one of these coaches, this is a woman who trains people at the highest levels, and I asked her, how are things going?
Oftentimes in the past, I used to find myself comparing myself to others. In the area of fitness and health, I would look around and I thought of myself as an athlete. You can joke about it all you want. I played sports pretty competitively. And even on the field, the soccer field … soccer was my game … I would compare myself. Am I as good enough? Am I as fast as this other guy? Am I as strong? Am I as tough on the ball? I would always be comparing myself.
I was talking to a young entrepreneur, someone who was very successful at an early age, made millions of dollars before turning 20. Fantastic story and a brilliant person. And in the conversation that I was having with him, what we started talking about were investments, right? He asked for financial investments.
And what else? So I’ve been coaching high-performance people and successful business owners for a very, very long time. Now I’ve done it in different realms. But one of the things I’ve learned is that people don’t give you their deepest answer first, right. And we kind of all know this, but if I were to ask you a question whether it be surface level or deep. Typically, you’re going to give me the answer that your façade or your mask is going to put out. Now you don’t do this consciously usually or maybe you do sometimes in networking type situations. But most people just give their initial answer. So a coaching tip you can use, right you can use this with your family, your friends, your loved ones, your employees etc. Is asking the question what else?
All too often, as business owners, we fall in love with our own ideas. Now, these can be products, these can be services, these can be things that we’re going after. We can actually grind it out. It’s a gift. It’s a talent. And something that entrepreneurs and business owners have in spades, right?
What do you mean by there’s freedom in a schedule? A schedule is so constricting. I want to be able to do what I want when I want. Well, I do too. But I’ll tell you, this is a battle I’ve had over the years. And I can also tell you this is something we’ve talked about in a previous daily growth hack. But the question keeps coming up over the over again in my conversations with coaching clients, but also in the Author of Your Own Story groups that we have. So, I want to clarify it a little bit more.