Darcy Curry, Author at Author of Your Own Story

Be Ruthless to the Things that Don’t Matter

When I go through my day, I actually have it planned out the day before, but oftentimes things come at me. I get asked to speak on different podcasts or radio shows. I get asked to guest blog. I get people that want me to coach them, whether they be business owners, coaches, or just everyday people.

Each time, I have to look at these and say does this matter? And what matters to me is moving forward in my why. I want to make a bigger impact on the world, but I want to keep my Five to Thrive balanced and that means making a bigger impact, but not letting things actually get in the way of doing the things that matter me. So, resting with my son or playing with him or going on a walk with my son and my wife.

Like you, I have so many things on my to-do list that it’s almost overwhelming at times. But, what I do is I’ll go through that to-do list and say, “Does this really matter?” Can I move the needle with this? Does this get me closer to my path on my journey personally, or am I just saying yes to keep busy?

Now, one of the hardest things to do in life is to say no, say no to people, say no to invitations, to parties, invitations to go out, saying no to tasks, saying no to customers and jobs. We often hear our companies turn down clients and customers, not because they’re bad people or because the business is bad or the money is bad. We do it because it doesn’t fit into our niche, into our why, of what exactly we’re doing. When we do that, it actually frees up space for the great things that happen.

Now, I often get people asking me, “How are you coaching such high-level individuals and high-level people?” Well, a couple of things to think about. First of all, if you’re a coach, you need to have a coach, right? So, you want the best of the best.

What I’ve done is I’ve freed myself up by not just coaching everybody that comes through. It’s an application process and a mentoring process to make sure that we’re getting the best of the best. That frees up my time to continue growing, to read, to study, to hone my craft, so when that best of the best shows up in my life, I’m able to serve them at such a high level that they get intense value, and they often just keep resigning because they see the value in what we’re doing together.

Now, if I were to say yes to everybody that came by, everybody that asked for my help, and I used to do this, I used to mentor so many young people and I love it and I still do it, but if I did that at the level that I used to do it, and I just said yes to every event, every speaking event every occasion, I’d be traveling around the world. I’d be missing my family and I wouldn’t have the bandwidth or the ability to take on high-level clients like I do, or run my other businesses.

See, it’s the ability to say no that has actually freed me up to take in those right things that come. And those can be hard to do, right? Those can be hard. We just had, in fact, my agency just got a contract for a very high-end client. So, a client that was willing to spend a lot of money with us to completely redo their marketing, but the client wasn’t the right fit. Great people, just not the right fit for our agency or what we wanted to do. So, we gave the client value. We said, “Thank you but no thank you. Here are the things that you need, to be put in order, and here is somebody that we recommend to help you.”

Now, this may sound unusual, right? Yes, we could use the revenue and I love to be able to pay my staff more and use that bonus, but what that’s going to do is free up time for not only myself but also for my team to focus on those clients that we have and keep in our line. Then, the next time the right fit comes, we have the bandwidth to take that person in and were able to serve them so much better when it’s the right fit.

Now, for you, in your Five to Thrive, I want you to look at that and make sure it’s the right fit for you. What are you doing? What are you doing in those areas? Look at your task list. What can you eliminate in that list that’s just not important? It’s not important to you. It’s not going to be important today or a year from now. You can go as far as the rocking chair test, which is really a simple test for big decisions.

The rocking chair test goes something like this. If I asked you a question and said, “Hey, look, you have a decision in front of you. If we’re sitting in a rocking chair on the porch together 40 years from now sipping on lemonade, rocking back and forth just having a good conversation, will it matter?” That decision you’re making.

Now, that decision could be big. It could be moving, ending, starting a relationship, starting or ending a business. Whatever it is, does that decision matter 40 years from now as we’re sitting on the rocking chair and which path would be the one that you’d be the proudest of?

So, I use the rocking chair test a lot with myself and also with my clients when I’m going through it, but in a smaller level, I’ll go through my task list, group them, and then eliminate as many as possible. I eliminate the ones that just don’t matter. That frees up so much time. This is exactly why people are asking me, “Why do you go snowboarding during the middle of the week and how are you doing all these things?” I’m doing it because I’m focusing on what matters and eliminating those things that don’t.

That’s just one trick, one of the thousands, but one that really will help you move forward down your path of the author of your own story lifestyle.

That’s it for me today. As always, go to authororyourownstory.com where you get the latest tips, tricks, and techniques delivered right to your inbox simply by subscribing. And share this with at least three people. You know what they say. You are the sum total of the five people you spend the most time with and you and I are spending time together right now and maybe even daily, which I hope we are. Now you need four other people. Now, I’m asking you just to share this with three, so you’re continuing that conversation. That leaves one other person open and I hope it’s someone special in your own life. But, you don’t get there unless you’re sharing these daily growth hacks.

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What Is Your Statement Of Value?

As many of you listeners know I own two different marketing agencies. Often times when we meet with a client we ask them, “What is your statement of value?” We get blank stares, probably like you’re feeling right now. But a statement of value is simply a formula. It’s not a unique selling proposition, it’s really what value does that product or service bring to the market place. The formula is very simple. It’s product enables the customer to do what? We actually answer that question, then the client can almost have a one-liner. We use that across all marketing platforms.

But when I’m coaching coaches … I coach business owners and coaches, and when I’m coaching coaches I’m always asking them, “What is your statement of value?” Now this applies for you and I too. What is our statement of value that we’re giving back to the world? If you’re listening to this daily growth hack you wanna leave a legacy, you wanna play at a higher game, and I applaud you for that. But consider the possibility that you also need a statement of value of your life, kind of a one liner that you run through. How would you do this?

Well grab your journal. What I want you to write out is your name. So my case would be Doug enables, and the customer. Now the customer can be the world. Now of course you can use a customer base, you could use, for myself I can say coaches or entrepreneurs or business owners, enables them to experience what? I might say as an example, “Doug enables coaches to experience the lifestyle that they’ve always wanted by helping and serving other people.” Or, my other clientele, which is high in business owners, “Doug enables successful business owners to experience more out of their life and actually build their business around their life, rather than the other way around, which most do.”

Now, these are just examples and frankly they’re off the cuff and I didn’t plan on talking about this, but that’s what I do with these daily growth hacks, I just kind of hit the lights and speak whatever comes up for me. Now for you, what you can do is take this a step further and you can actually do a statement of value at each of your five to thrive. That’s bonus points if you chose to do that. You could talk about your body, what does your body enable you to do? For example, “Doug’s body enables Doug to go snowboarding right after he does a daily growth hack.”, or, “Enables Doug to play with his child and his wife on epic proportions, just as well as when he was in his early 20s, if not better.” That could be my statement of value for my body. Now I can do this for relationships, for my business, et cetera.

I encourage you to try this out and see what feels good for you, ’cause at the end of the day it not only has to make sense but has to feel good. This is what it’s all about, we work of emotions, not logic. We use logic to justify those emotions. Try the statement of value formula and let me know how it goes. I really love when you reach out to me and tell me how things are going for you, I really appreciate it. That’s it from me today. May sure you go over to authorofyourownstory.com and get on our email list. I know many of you have and I’ve gotten your replies and I greatly thank you for those. Also, reach out to me, I’m easy to find on social media and I’d love to hear about your journey, so please share it with me.

Last, but not least, share this with at least three people that you know, so they can enjoy their journey and really raise your tribe and have conversations that matter. I’ll see you tomorrow. Remember, go out and be the author of your own story.

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Avoid Burn Out And Stop Being A Monkey Handler

Now, I don’t know about you, but what’s true for me is when I was younger, when I was a young business owner, I took a lot of pride in being able to solve my employees and staff’s problems. Now, whatever problems they had, I took a lot of pride in being able to actually take those problems, work with them, or just take them on as my own and then get them done. Right?

These could be problems in finance, problems with customer service, with sales, even web programming, and analytics. Right? I taught myself how to do it and I took so much pride in being able to do the work. I could grind out it. Nobody could beat me. I took a lot of pride in it, but I also burnt myself out. What I found myself doing is being the person that people came to in their personal problems as well, in their relationships, whether they’d be employees or friends. Now, I naturally gravitate towards teaching. I just love teaching and helping people. What happened to me and what was true for me is I got burned out because every time somebody came into my office, they would either give me a suggestion about a change in the business. They would give me a problem that was going on in the business or something in their personal life, and then they would want me to solve it. Right? They want me to do it. They’d want me to take care of the issue, and I would, but I was overwhelmed.

I was so busy taking care of their problems, that I wasn’t taking care of myself. Now, fast-forward another gosh 15-plus years to today. Just the other day I was talking to one of my coaching clients who owns a business, and he was having a similar problem. He was saying, “Look, Doug, these people that come in, they have ideas, and they aren’t doing anything. They just walk in.” I said, “You know what? Look at this.” We’ll call him Rob. That’s not his name, but I said, “Look Rob, does it happen like this? Because this is the way it used to occur for me. They walk into your office, they present these problems or these situations they need help with. These situations that need to be taken care of, and they walk out. You’re thinking, I’m so overwhelmed already all the things I have to do with business that now I go to do this too.”

He said, “Yeah, Doug. That’s exactly what it feels like.” I said, “That’s because you’re a monkey handler.” He looked as shocked you could probably imagine. What are you talking about, a monkey handler? I said, “You know what? Somebody walks into your office, and I used to do this. Somebody walks into your office with a problem, with a monkey on their back so to speak, and then what you do is is you say, ‘Hey, come here. Put the monkey on my back. I’m a trained monkey handler.'”

The monkey leaps off their back, the problem, and leaps onto yours, and they walk out of the office feeling better because they’re able to vent. They’re able to communicate their problem and they knew that you would take care of it. Right? Then, the next person walks in with two monkeys on their back, and they’re feeling weighed down because these monkeys are big. You say, “Hey, look, I’m strong. I’m courageous. I can handle this.” Those two monkeys jump off their back and jump onto yours because you’re the monkey handler. Over time, now you have six, seven, maybe 70 monkeys on your back weighing you down. You’re not able to actually do the work that you love, the real work in your business, the work that you’re called to do in life.

He said, “Wow, that’s exactly it feels like.” I said, “Okay, here’s your tip. You no longer take care of monkeys.” Simple as that. Somebody walks in your office, or they come to you if you’re not a business owner and you’re listening to these daily growth hacks. They come to you and they say, “Hey, Doug, I have this problem with my wife, my kids,” whatever it may be. If they want that monkey to jump off, as soon as that monkey gets ready to leap, you just stop them and say, “I’m a monkey training, not a monkey handler.” What I’m going to do is, what’s the solution? Right? What’s the solution or a possible outcome to that problem? Let that person come up with the answer, and then give them steps to move forward.

In the area of business, I’ll use an example. Right? If I have a staff member come to me from one of my companies, let’s say it’s the coaching business. They come to me and say, “Doug, there’s a problem with the website, with our private community for our lead clients. Someone’s having a problem logging in.” I used to take that problem and say, “Okay, I’ll take care of it right away.” Now, what I say is, “Well, what’s the next step to make that a solution?” They said, “Well, we probably should just reset their password and send it to them.” Great, make sure that happens, and next time just automatically do that. You have the power to do that. Now, they leave not only with the monkey, but the monkey’s gone. Right? They leave with a solution and the ability to solve this problem again and again.

I’ll use another scenario. Oftentimes, my friends will reach out to me with problems in their business but also problems in their relationship. They’ll talk to me about their spouse, and oftentimes I just listen. When they ask for my feedback and my opinion, instead of trying to solve the problem for them, I ask them questions. “What do you think is the best thing to do in time?” Often they answer, they coach themselves. They answer the question because they know what should be done. They truly know. This takes the burden off of me, but also helps them. What I’m going to ask you to do today is grab your journal, grab your five to and see where you’re doing this. Right? Are you solving problems? Are you allowing other people’s monkeys to come on in the areas of your mind, your body. Right? Are you actually taking diets and exercise routines and saying, “I’ll write the program for you. I’ll help you with your diet. I’ll do it for you.”

What about relationships? That where I see it the most. What about business? Business also happens quite a bit. Where are you becoming the monkey handler versus the monkey trainer? Then, what I want you to do is write that down. Now, once you’ve identified an area if there’s an area that exists for your and if you’re human, there are lots of areas. Then again, let me stop this. You could be the person passing off the monkey, and you could recognize this. If that’s you, stop right away, because what you’re doing is creating more problems for yourself as well. Right? If you walk into your boss’ office or you go to a friend and you present problems, you’re just a complainer. That makes you a victim. When you have a problem and not a solution to the problem, you’re just entering victimhood. Stop that right away. Problem, solution each and every time.

Look at your five to thrive again, write it out, and if you’re the person that solves problems, look at those areas that you’re stepping into, because really what you’re doing is stealing the power from the other person. Now, yeah, you’re solving problems for people, but you’re stealing their opportunity to grow, their opportunity to learn. Right? You’re stealing their opportunity. Now, if you’re the person that always comes with problems, you’re the victim. Right? What you’re doing is putting more problems on somebody else’s plate, and nobody wants that either. Identify where you’re doing this in your five to thrive. When I started looking at this many years ago, I noticed I was doing this in many areas in different ways. Some places, I was being the victims. Right? I was complaining. “I’m not sleeping. I’m working too much. Therefore, my fitness goals aren’t hitting. Therefore, my relationships. I got to work more. It’s because of this.” No solution.

That’s when I started coming up with different sleep regimes that worked for me. Right? I have a problem, I’m not sleeping. Now, I know what I need to do, solution. Right? In most areas, in business, I was really the monkey handler. Anybody would come to me, I would solve their problem. I took a lot of pride in it as I mentioned before. Now, I always ask them for the solution, empower them to learn. If I can teach them, I will, but then I empower them to move forward every other time without having to question me, or have to come to me for a solution. This is how I’ve been able to successfully scale and run multiple companies. Right? I become a monkey trainer rather than a monkey handler. I train that monkey, that problem to solve itself. Then, once it’s solved itself, I train it to learn from that experience.

I encourage you to be your own coach. Write this down in your journal and also if you’re a business owner, work with your staff or your employees on these models. That’s it for me to today. As always, go over to authorofyourownstory.com where you can get more tips, tricks, and techniques delivered right to your email inbox if you sign up for the newsletter. Then, make sure you’re going to the Author of Your Own Story community on Facebook where we do Facebook lives as well as deep dives into conversations like this, but you’re also able to expand your network and meet other cool people just like yourself. Have an amazing day. I’ll see you tomorrow. Remember, be the author of your own story.

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Don’t Be One Dimensional

As many of you know, I coach business owners. I help coach business owners to bridge the gap before where they were to where they want to be. I help them get unstuck. It probably should be no surprise to you that many of my clients are actually coaches themselves. You see, to be a great coach, you should have a coach or mentor that’s on your side.

Well, one of my clients is a very well-known business coach. In talking with him, he just started our six-month program and I’m working with him. What I found out was he was one-dimensional. You see, he was so focused on business and how to run and scale a business, and he’s good at it. He’s a great business coach, but he had neglected his family and his wife was leaving him and taking their children on the ride. What he was finding himself is he was 40 pounds overweight, not in good health. He didn’t have a good relationship with himself or with his wife, or with his children. Sure, he could grow a business and he’s fantastic at it, but along his journey, he neglected all the other dimensions of life. He was like a flat piece of paper, like a little drawing that you can draw in a stick figure, one-dimensional. He forgot the other dimensions of life.

That’s why we use the five to thrive. You see, I had been stuck in that too. At times in my life, I’ve been very focused on my fitness, other times, very focused on relationships, and of course, I’ve also been the atypical business owner where I’ve been very hyper-focused on business and business growth and development in my early 20s. That’s why I wanted balance. You hear people talking about balance all the time. You need balance here, you need a balance there. Why I came up with the five to thrive because I found that worked for me and that allowed me to go to the next level of my journey.

When I looked at his five to thrive and I ask him and I’ll ask you, where are you on a scale of one to 10 in all five areas, when I asked him about his mind, he said, “Probably a six because I haven’t done anything but read business books for the last decade and a half.” He’d been a business coach for over 15 years. I said, “Where are you with your body?” He goes, “A two. You know, honestly, I can’t walk up the stairs without breathing, Doug, without breathing hard. It’s really tough. I don’t really play with my kids. I just sit down and when I get home, I have a cup of cocktails and then maybe I’ll watch TV. Maybe my wife will join me. Maybe she won’t or just watch something that I like.”

“Okay, what about soul? What’s your connection to yourself and to your higher spirit, whatever you think soul might mean for you?” That’s where he gave himself a one. He didn’t know how to love himself, and most of us are never taught that, but he didn’t even know how to connect to himself, how to connect to his spirituality or spirit. Then, I asked about relationships and that’s when I saw the tears in his eyes. He said, “Doug, my wife’s leaving me and she’s taking our children with her. I thought I was being a good husband by being a good provider, but apparently, that’s not enough and so I’d give myself a one, a one on that level. I’m just not good enough.”

Then, I asked him business. This guy, if I mentioned his name, you would know who he is. He’s a really well-known business coach and so when I asked him, “Hey, how are you doing on the level of business?” now, I expected to hear eight, nine, probably even a 10 and what he told me was a six. He said, “Everybody thinks that I’m very successful and yes, I can help others be successful, but I’m not successful myself. I’m stuck and I’m spinning my wheels, which is something I hear all the time from business owners and I’m just not moving forward. When I work with somebody else’s business, it’s much more clarity, but my own, I’m kind of lost.”

Then, I asked him a couple other questions. We delved deeper into different levels of each of those categories. We found that he was a one-dimensional person. He was so focused on business and business growth. That’s all he poured himself into and when times got tough in his relationship or when times got tough with his health and his wellness, he turned to what he thought he knew the most, which was business. Now, for you, it may not be business but I want to caution you, are you focused on relationships? Are you focused on being codependent with another person in a relationship? Oftentimes, when things are going wrong in our life, we might focus on somebody else rather than ourselves and rather than our five to thrive.

Are you focused on your fitness? Yes, I know many of you out there. I’ve had a fitness background. I’d been in the industry for over 20 years and I know a lot of people who turn to fitness as something they can control. It’s something they know they can do, they can control and that allows them some stability in their life, but they miss the other avenues. They miss the other dimensions. They miss relationships. They miss business. If they’re in business, they miss spirituality.

I ask you, grab your journal. Write out your five to thrive. I’ve asked you this before but where are you in each category on a scale of one to 10, one being horrible, 10 being top of the world? Now, I’d love you to be at an eight, nine and 10 consistently. If you’re having problems in those areas, and I mean, problems bridging the gap from where you are today to where you want to be, reach out. I want to help you. I’d love to help you.

Now, go to the Author of Your Own Story community. That’s a great place to connect with like-minded people. Right there, you can actually have conversations and get more information, so you’re consistently in a conversation about growth and development as you go on your journey. We’re all at different places. Not all of us can have coaches and mentors. That’s why we have a free community just for you. This is your chance to reach out to other people, to get more teachings not only from me but from other coaches and other experts, other voices, other opinions.

Just like that song that keeps playing in your head, we want a song of positivity, but also a song of growth and reality. Sometimes, you’d have to be really raw with yourself in order to take that next jump, so make sure you get in that community, and of course, go over to authorofyourownstory.com and get on that email list. Very simple to do, but that way, you get the tips, tricks, and insights delivered right to your inbox where you can check them each and every day.

Then, I’m going to ask you to share this with three people. The reason I ask you to do this is that I want you to build your tribe. I want you to build those people around you who are going to have your back when times get tough but also keep you going on your journey. That’s it for me today. I will talk to you tomorrow. Have a fantastic day and go out and inspire someone simply by being yourself and being the author of your own story.

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What’s Your Theme?

So what’s your theme? What’s your theme for this month, this quarter, this year? See my theme is posted right on my wall in front of me, so I can see it each and every day. Now the theme for 2018 for me, is epic growth and adventure. I drive through that theme, everything that I’m doing.

For example, right after shooting this Daily Growth Hack, my family and I are going for a hike. It’s snowing outside but it’s going to be beautiful, by a river, I already know it’s going to be so much adventure. We’re taking our little guy, it’s going to be so much fun.

And then growth. I started my morning off reading, influencing my mind. Really getting my body and my soul ready for the day so I could go out and have fun.

Now it’s still the morning while I’m actually filming this for you, but the rest of my day is going to be filled with epic growth and adventure with my family. And that’s what I love, and that is my theme. And so every time a decision comes across my plate, I look at it with that lens.

My question to you is, what is your theme? What is your theme for the rest of this quarter, or the rest of this year? Now for some of my clients, I have them have themes in different areas of their five to thrive. So the theme in your business could be different than the theme in your relationships. But what I like to compose, is an overall arching theme.

Epic growth and adventure is my theme, and I let that spill over into all categories in my five to thrive. So in my mind, I’m doing things that in the growth phase are going to really push me and allow me to go outside my comfort zones.

In the area of my body, I want adventure. So I’m doing things outside that are working my body. I’m starting to go through the Wim Hof training, cold exposure. Pretty crazy.

And then in my soul, what am I doing there? Where is that growth and expansion? And is it epic, because I want it to be epic. I don’t want to look back a year from now and be like, “Jeez, what did I do with that year?” I want to look back and go, “Wow, I can’t believe I achieved all that I achieved. I affected so many people and were able to help them.”

And then in my relationships, am I growing? Am I having adventures with my wife and my relationships, and in my friendships? The answer is absolutely.

And then my business, we are having epic growth in my business. Our coaching business is growing epically. Author of Your Own Story, the university, is growing. The agencies, everything that I’m doing, it’s growing epically and we’re going out on adventures. We go into our team meetings with the idea that we’re kind of like Indian Jones, exploring, trying to find new tactics, tricks and things that we can do to really up level, not only ourselves but our clients.

So I ask you, right here right now, what is your theme for 2018, and what is your theme for this quarter in your areas? Reach out to me, I’d love to hear from you as always. And of course, share this with at least three people that you think would enjoy getting this message.

That’s it for me today, I will see you tomorrow. Go out and inspire someone simply by being the Author of Your Own Story.

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The Shoemaker Whose Kids Have No Shoes

I’m recently redoing my website, dougholtonline.com. Now, this was my personal website, something that I threw up years ago as more of a way of exchanging my muses, my ideas, but I also have a backend to the website where I have mastermind groups and clients that I run. Frankly, I’ve never really paid much attention to the website itself. Over the years, it’s gotten outdated and doesn’t really reflect what I do or who I am.

Now, the reason I share this with you is I actually own two marketing agencies. Besides that, I am coaching some of the highest level performers and business that are in the world. I’m working with the best of the best. Yet, my website isn’t reflecting what I’m doing and what I’m up to in the world. It’s not showcasing what I am and what I’m about.

When I looked at this, I started laughing to myself and I actually brought somebody else, a good friend of mine to audit my site, and he was laughing, too. He’s like, “Doug, this is horrible. I can’t believe you’re doing this. You get paid six figures to consult and work with businesses to help them with their website and with their branding. Yet, yours is crap.” When he said that to me, at first, I wanted to get angry at myself. Then I immediately recognized the trigger and switched and started laughing. He was totally right. I was the cobbler, the shoemaker whose kids had no shoes. I was giving people advice, yet, I wasn’t doing it. I wasn’t following it for myself.

Now, the reason this is important for me isn’t just for vanity to have Doug Holt Online, my website, representing me. It’s not. It really isn’t. What it is is this is my opportunity, my way of giving to the world. See, I set a goal two years ago to have a positive impact on over one million people, and we are making our way there and I’m so proud of that. My team is doing a great job.

Yet, if you didn’t know me and maybe you don’t, maybe you stumbled upon these daily growth hacks and you’ve gone to Google me to see who I am and what I’m about, you wouldn’t have a representation of what I’ve been doing. You would see what I was doing eight, nine years ago, not today and I would be so upset if I ran into a business and I was consulting with a business owner and they were in the same position. I would say, “Geez, what are you doing? Your website is your modern day front door to the world. You need to be cleaning it up on a regular basis, every quarter doing updates.” Yet, I wasn’t doing it.

It started making me think. How often do we give advice, do we go out there and say, “Hey, I want to be a coach,” when you actually haven’t hired a coach? I get that a lot, too. I get people reaching out to me and saying, “Doug, how can I be a successful coach? How can I be a mentor to people? I really want to help.” The first question I ask is that is awesome, but who’s your coach? I hear crickets. I hear crickets because they’ve never hired a coach or a mentor or especially somebody at the top level and made that investment themselves. How can you ask somebody to make an investment in hiring you as a trainer, a coach, an accountant or anything else if you’re not using the same services yourself? You can’t. It’s just not respectful. It’s out of integrity in my eyes.

See, I was being out of integrity because I get paid to go in and consult with big companies, as well as small ones, people that are making a big change in the world. I help them with their branding and their marketing, yet, I wasn’t doing it myself. Right here, right now if you’re listening to this, you’re going to see a commitment. Go over to the site so you can laugh at it and then come back a month from now. It should be totally different, hopefully, a couple of weeks from now but I’ll give myself a month, a little leeway. I want to play with my family, too.

What I’m going to ask you today is where are you, the shoemaker whose kids have no shoes? Is that in your mind? Are you not doing the work? Are you not reading the books? Are you not taking the courses that allow you to be the author of your own story? Is it in your body? Are you giving people advice on diets that’s so many people do, yet, you have no experience and you’re not doing it yourself? Or workouts. Crossfit is the best. Kettlebells are the best. Pilates is the best. Yoga is the best. But are you doing the work? Do you have the experience? Where are you in the relationship? Are you giving your friend relationship advice? I hear this all the time from many of you. Someone is giving you relationship advice, yet, their marriage is crumbling and they haven’t figured it out or maybe it’s an idea of business. Maybe you’re out there telling people how great your business is, yet, when I peek behind the curtain, I know what your P&L really says and what’s really going on there.

Where are you? I invite you to be like me and laugh at it. Just look at it. Be real, raw, relevant and honest with yourself and then just laugh. It’s okay. We’re human. We’re on this journey together. But once you recognized where you are giving advice, where your pillars aren’t very strong, where you’re giving advice and you’re not doing it yourself, now, right here at this moment, it’s the time to make the commitment and take that first small step, whatever that step is on your journey and make sure you’re doing what you’re preaching.

That’s it for me today. As always, go to authorofyourownstory.com where you get the latest tips, tricks and techniques delivered right to your inbox and of course share this with at least three people that you know that you think would actually get value out of this message. That’s it. Have a great day. I will see you guys tomorrow. Remember to go out and be the author of your own story. Take care.

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Are You Living Your Full Potential

I actually had an Author of Your Own Story listener reach out to me, a business owner. And what she was talking about was her potential. And I asked her a simple question. I said, “Are you living up to your potential?” And then we had silence. And I engaged that silence because I respect it. And she was thinking. She said, “Wow, you know what? No. I’m not even close to my potential.” And what I asked her is a question I’m going to ask you. One is are you living to your potential? The second question is are you doing something about you? You know, if the answer is no, then that’s a shame, right? Now all of us want to live to a certain level, a certain potential that we all have. But if you’re feeling like you’re in a rut, you’re spinning your tires over and over again and you’re not getting anywhere, then go out and do something different.

Seek a coach. Get a mentor. Hire someone. Take a course. Take a class. Do something different. You deserve to live, not only to your potential but live a life that you’ve always dreamed of. A life purpose, a life of passion, a life that holistic, in the sense that you not only have a successful business if you’re a business owner, but you have a successful relationship, a successful body, mind, everything. You have the energy to bring to it. You deserve all that and more. So my question for you today is are you living up to your potential? Now, if you say yes, I applaud you. Fantastic. If you are a 9 out of 10 in all the areas of your life, then just keep doing what you’re doing. In fact, actually, reach out to me because I want to know what your secret sauce is. I want to know what it is that you’re doing that’s actually allowing you to live at this level because that’s fantastic and hopefully I can point that out to other entrepreneurs and business owners or other people, to help them on their journey.

Now, if you’re looking at it, you’re looking at your Five to Thrive and you’re like, “Eh, you know, I’m a six, a three, a four”, whatever here and there, then what I want you to do is reach out again, reach out to me and let me know where you’re at. That way I know how I can help you. And if I can help you as a coach or a mentor, I’m happy to. I can step into that role. I only have two slots available in my new coaching program, but I can actually pinpoint you and direct you to somebody else. You know, we have a ton of coaches that listen to these Daily Growth Hacks and they reach out to me regularly. And they’re looking at leveling up their lives and their businesses. And so what I can do is I can actually point you in a direction for some of them.

But maybe it’s a book. Maybe you need a book or a course. Maybe there’s something that, a resource that I might be able to have to share with you and I’d be happy to do so. I also recommend you go over to the Author of Your Own Story community and actually ask the group. We have over 300 members who are on journeys just like you. And that’s how you build your resourcefulness. You know, I often talk about, because I hear about it so much, where people say, “There’s just nobody like mine, Doug. My friends or the people around me, I’ve outgrown them. They’re playing on a lower level. All they care about are what’s happening in US politics or something stupid like that.” And all I got to tell you, right here, right now is that is a lame excuse. We have the internet, the power of the internet, to reach out to people. Right here, right now, you’re listening to me.

We’re not in the same room. We’re probably not even in the same city or state, yet we’re having a conversation here. Now yeah, I’m talking, but you’re answering it when I ask a question, aren’t you? When I ask you a question, you answer it in your head. And that is how you develop relationships. Now, I’m inviting you to reach out to me. I’m easy to find on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. I’m everywhere. Reach out to me and let me know how I can help you and where you are within these Daily Growth Hacks. How are you on your journey? How are you in your Five to Thrive? Are you hitting at all levels? Because you deserve it. You deserve all that and more. And I want to help you get there. That’s it for me today. Make sure you do the work. And go over to AuthorofYourOwnStory.com, where you can get the latest, tips, tricks and techniques delivered right to your inbox when you sign up for the newsletter. I look forward to hearing from you and I will see you tomorrow. Have a fantastic day.

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What’s Your Crazy?

Just yesterday I was talking to another business owner. And they were telling me how overwhelmed they were. And they were looking for techniques or some kind of trick that I might have to help them get over overwhelm.

In fact, they were so overwhelmed, they were telling me they were gonna sell their business. They were just gonna give up, throw it all away. And they’ve been working at this for over two years. Blood, sweat, tears, the whole nine.

And what I told them is what I’m gonna tell you. Is, when you’re overwhelmed, really what’s showing up for you is fear. Now that can be fear of failure, that could be fear that you’re out of control, which it was for this person.

It could be fear of a lot of things. Are people gonna leave you, is your product not good enough. Now, you don’t have to be a business owner to experience overwhelm, right? We all experience it. But what’s really happening is you’re really scared about something. And that’s why you’re overwhelmed.

You’re scared you might not be doing it right. You’re scared you might have too much on your plate. You’re scared that people are gonna think something bad about you, right? All these things contribute to that feeling of being overwhelmed.

So what I want you to do right now is grab your journal. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, or if you felt overwhelmed recently. And then ask yourself this question, right? What am I afraid of? Now if you’re in a state of overwhelm right now, you’re listening to this, you’re just like Doug, I’m overwhelmed right now. You don’t even know.

What I want you to do is take 10 diaphramic breaths, right? In through the nose, relax, let it out. Or do box breathing, which we’ve talked about previously in Daily Growth Hacks. But do it at least 10 times. This’ll help reset you.

Then, grab your journal, and write down exactly what you’re feeling overwhelmed about. This person was saying they’re feeling overwhelmed about their business, and managing people, and all these things. And, they were gonna throw it all away.

But once you get that down, what is it you’re actually afraid of? That is the question. And then, once you list what you’re afraid of, if you want bonus points, list out the worst case scenario, right? What’s the worst thing that could happen?

And then how can you mitigate that? Can you live with that? And yes you can is the answer. You see, once we look at the fear, we all know that fear is false evidence appearing real, or false evidence about reality, whichever acronym you like, but it’s false.

Fear is false. And so, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, and you know it’s fear, and you figured out what that fear is, and you know that fear isn’t true, you can now take a breath. You can relax a little bit more, and dive in consciously to solve the issues at hand.

That’s it for me today. As always, go to authorofyourownstory.com where you can get the latest tips, tricks, and techniques delivered right to your inbox each and every day. And make sure you share this with three people that you feel would benefit from this message, and that you can have conversations that matter with.

That’s it. I’ll see you tomorrow. Remember, go out and be the author of your own story.

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Wherever You Go, There You Are

I was speaking to a business owner earlier this morning, and the topic kind of went off the rails, as they typically do with clients that I work with.

Now, what we started talking about was plant medicines, right? Maybe you’ve heard of these. Some of the most popular plant medicines that people seem to be talking about now, are Ayahuasca, and other people call it yagé, right? Now, these are plant medicines that have been used for thousands of years by indigenous tribes down in Central and South America. Most notably Columbia, Peru and Brazil. Now, what we started talking about is, this business owner was telling me, “Hey Doug, you know, I’m very successful.” And he wasn’t saying, “I’m very successful,” but he is, and I already knew he was. He’s got a nine-figure business, he’s doing well.

And he was talking about it and he was saying, “You know what? I think what I really want to do, is I really want to go down and experience these plant medicines. I really want to experience Ayahuasca. I think that is going to make the change that I need to amplify what I want to do.” You see, he’s not happy being a nine-figure earner, right? It’s great and all, but he wants more. And truthfully, he wants more in all the areas of his life. All the clients that I coach all happen to be business owners, and they’re all looking for something greater. They’re all looking for something to step into. And, my clients that I work with for one year, those people are already successful in business, and are looking to be successful in all of their five to thrive. Although, we take it much bigger than that.

So, with him, he was telling me. He was like, “Doug, I want you to set up a retreat just for business owners, where we go down and experience the plant medicines.” You see, I have already done this. I went down to Columbia over a year ago and had an amazing experience with a local shaman. A rare shaman, a female shaman, which is really rare in that culture. And I was able to go through the plant medicines.

And one of the things that I realized when I was down there is, wherever you are, there you are. And what that means is, you can’t run, or chase, or search for it yourself. And it’s one of those things that we often talk about, right? Us as business owners in particular, but not everybody. If you’re not a business owner, this still applies to you. We often talk about how it’s going to be better when, you know? Things are going to change when I do this. Or, things are going to get better when this happens.

I often talk about some of these ideas ’cause I hear them a lot, when I get a bonus, when I get that new client, when I get the relationship I want when I go ahead and get that new car, things are going to be better, right? Or, when I drop the weight, then I can focus on my family. I hear it all. I’ve had the unique privilege of coaching thousands of people throughout my career, in different varieties, and different formats. But literally … Actually, tens of thousands when you think about it. And when I do that, I see patterns. I’d be stupid not to see patterns. And one of those patterns are people thinking that happiness or betterment is going to happen when something else happens, right?

I will be a better man when X, Y, Z happens. Or, I’ll be a better woman when this happens. We all have that conversation internally. Sometimes we share it with somebody. You share it with a coach, a mentor, or a confidant, or somebody that you really trust. And the truth is, right here, right now in the present, you are everything that you need. You are love, you are energy, you are passion. You have it all inside of you. Right here, right now.

Now look, you may be going through something right now in your life. You may be going through a hardship, a loss of a love, a business struggle, a personal struggle, a health issue. But I’m here to let you know right here right now, at this moment, you are perfect. You are perfect just the way you are. You see, wherever you go, if you’re going on a vacation, you think, “When I get on this vacation …” And, I just had a friend of mine get back from Hawaii. “When I get on this vacation,” he said, “That’s when I’m going to relax, and I’m going to get back, and things are going to be so much better.” It never works that way, we all know it.

Whatever you have with you, you take with you wherever you go. It’s you. And so, that’s why I’m such an adamant advocate for focusing on bettering yourself, right? ‘Cause wherever you go, there you are, right? That was coined by, I think a zen master, and I love it because it’s so true. I focus on business owners ’cause I see it so often as business owners, we really strive for that higher level, right? We really strive to make it. A lot of times we pour ourselves into our business in order to fill ourselves up, and it never works, right? You need to take care of all the areas of your life. But right here right now, in this moment, I want you to know specifically, you are perfect just the way you are, and you are love.

You’re not only loved, but you are love. That’s why you’re able to give out so much love at any time you want to. Don’t believe me? Spend a little time with a baby, right? A baby that’s just so in the present, in the moment, starts giggling and smiling. You will too, and it will reflect off of you. That baby’s love and joy will reflect right off of you, I don’t care who you are. It just naturally happens. It’ll break down those walls for you.

So, here’s what I’m going to invite you to do. Normally I ask you to journal. Today what I want you to do, unless you’re driving, or … But you’re in the gym, you can do this. You can step into the bathroom. If you’re at work and you feel embarrassed, go to the restroom and lock the door. No one knows what you’re doing in there. What I want you to do is stare into the mirror and repeat to yourself. Stare into your eyes. 10 times I want you to repeat, “I love you. I am perfect just the way I am right now.” So say it just like that. “I love you. I am perfect just the way I am right now.”

So I invite you to do this 10 times and see what happens. See what opens up for you. Stare yourself right in the eyes. Your eyes are the window to the soul, and I believe that. What I want you to do, is just with emotion, say that to yourself. And after the tenth time see what comes up.

That’s when I invite you to journal. I invite you to write it down if you feel so inspired to. This is a great practice and a practice I recommend my clients do each and every day. And you will see a shift. Now, what’s interesting, is you’re going to see a shift in everybody around you. It’s like all of a sudden everybody around you’s changed. They’re happier, they’re more energetic. People around you have all changed. The truth is, you are a reflection of what you’re putting out, right? The world is a reflection I should say, of what you’re putting out there.

And when you realize that you’re perfect just how you are, in the body you are. Your body is perfect just the way it is right now. Your mind, your … You are perfect. You are a perfect creation in this moment, and I want you to love yourself and realize that.

That’s it for me today. As always, reach out to me, find me on social media. I’d love to hear what you’re getting from these Daily Growth Hacks. And, if there’s something you’d like to hear, let me know. We’re coming up to episode 300 very quickly, and I committed to doing 365 of these. So I want to hear from you on what you want to hear, right? Think of me as your coach in your earbuds, or the coach on the video for you. Just give me a little extra insight, right? Just because you already know all these things.

That’s it for me today, I will see you tomorrow. Remember, go out and inspire someone by being the author of your own story, and do the work ’cause you are perfect. Take care.

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When Good Men Do Nothing

Now, I’m kind of a typical guy. Often times, I fantasize about saving my family. What if somebody were trying to do something bad? How would I stop them? How would I wrestle them to the ground and beat them up or do whatever I have to do to make sure my family’s protected? To be honest with you, this is something that’s kind of weird, but, admittedly, I think about this almost every single day. I play out these fantasy scenarios about me saving the day, helping rescue somebody, not even just my family. How do I make the world a better place by using my athleticism or whatever it is to go save them? I have these weird kind of action hero fantasies. I don’t know if you have these kinds of things in your head, but I certainly do.

I know I’ve shared this with other guy friends of mine, and most of them look at me like I’m crazy. I probably am, but I definitely do. When you look back through history, how often have good men … When I say men, I mean good men and women. How often have we just sat on the sidelines and watched? Slavery, the Holocaust, genocide, all these things happening in the world that we disagree on, but we don’t do anything. Well, that’s not enough. It’s not enough for me, and it’s not enough for you. If you’re here with me today, you’re on a journey. You’re on the journey to author your own story, to write your own script, write out how you are as a hero. Now, what would your hero do or your heroine? What do they do in these situations when bad things are happening? I hope they step up. I hope they don’t just watch and talk about it. I hope they step up and take action.

What I want to know from you today, right here, right now: How are you going to take action? This could be in your own life. How often are we the own villains in our own stories? We self-sabotage. You know, we’re on a diet. We say we’re going to lose weight or we’re going to gain muscle or we’re going to get ready for that athletic performance, yet we sabotage our diets. We don’t show up for the workout. It’s easier to go to happy hour than it is to hit the weights. I know. I get it. I’ve been there. Now, how often in relationships do we find what we think is the perfect mate, the perfect partner for us, yet we self-sabotage that relationship because deep down we’re just scared? We’re scared they’re going to find out who we really are and the skeletons in our closet, so to speak. We all have them. Come on. We all have them. We’ve all been there. The villain inside of us, that evil person. I won’t say evil. That’s not the right way to say it, but the villain, the part of us that self-sabotages our real goals and intentions. Why are we just watching? Why aren’t we taking proactive action and actually stepping up?

Now, maybe you’re like me and you want to take that to the next level. How are you stepping up in other areas? In your community, are you a leader in your community? First of all, I say be a leader in your family. Be a leader for yourself, then be a leader for your family, then a leader in your community, then a leader in the world. I want you to have all that and then some. What I invite you to do, right here, right now, grab your journal. List out where are you actually just watching and letting the villain, letting the evil actually continue on in the world. Start with yourself. Always start with yourself first. Once you’ve written that out, this is a great exercise for you, once you’ve written that out, now look at your family. Where are you? If you’re married, look at your immediate family and then extend that out. Now once you’ve looked at what’s happening within your family, are just you watching? Are you in the stands watching this evil come or just talking about it?

What about your community? What’s going on in your community? How’s the homeless situation in your community? How’s the economy doing in your community? How’s the environment doing in your community? Then take that a step further and expand out to a larger scope. What are you doing to make the world a better place? Start with yourself first. That starts with becoming the author of your own story. The first step to this, which I ask you to do almost every single day, is writing it down. By writing it down, you can actually bypass mechanisms in your brain that try to protect you. Write it out like it’s a story. Then, when you read it back, make sure it’s a story that you want to read. We’ve talked about this. Seize the day. Live your life day by day, moment by moment, and make sure it’s epic just for you. That’s it for me today. I look forward to hearing from you. As always go to AuthorofYourOwnStory.com, where you get the latest tips, tricks, techniques delivered right to your inbox. I will see you tomorrow. Have a fantastic day. Go out, inspire someone just by being the author of your own story.

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« Older Entries

Next Entries »

Be Ruthless to the Things that Don’t Matter

What Is Your Statement Of Value?

Avoid Burn Out And Stop Being A Monkey Handler

Don’t Be One Dimensional

What’s Your Theme?

The Shoemaker Whose Kids Have No Shoes

Are You Living Your Full Potential

What’s Your Crazy?

Wherever You Go, There You Are

When Good Men Do Nothing

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