Victor Terekhovskyi, Author at Author of Your Own Story

What Are the Biggest Lessons You’ve Learned Over the Past Year?

We’re less than 10 days as I record this away from my birthday and during this time, it’s a great time for reflection, kind of like the beginning of the year even though I do this every quarter. My birthday just happens to fall on the end of Q1 for this year. One of the things that I like to do is look back and look at lessons that I’ve learned.

I looked at my five to thrive: My mind, my body, my soul, my relationships and my business when I look and say, what is the greatest lesson that I learned in the past year since my last birthday in this case. I’m going to encourage you to do the same. Now, what I want you to do is grab your journal and write out those five to thrive and then in each area, ask yourself what is the greatest lesson that you’ve learned in the past year.

I always ask you to do this exercise. These are the same things that I ask my coaching clients to do and this time, I’m going to share with you what I wrote down for myself. Now, most of these that I wrote down are nothing new. They’re insights that I’ve had before or constant reminders but they’re also the greatest lesson that I got in the past year that I can take forward into this next year and even in today.

In the area of my mind, the biggest thing was picking one thing to focus on. As most entrepreneurs, I can get so diffused running multiple companies, coaching clients all over the world. I love it, and then having a family and living the digital nomad lifestyle, I’m always on the go. Oftentimes, I’m moving from one thing to another without actually finishing the thing that I start.

What I learned last year or relearned was really picking one thing to focus on and driving that home really moved the needle for myself personally, for my family, my friends and also for all of our businesses that we run. In the area of the body, the thing that I kind of reiterated to myself was when I focus on my mobility, it allows me to do so much more. The more mobile and supple my body is through doing yoga, mobility work, foam rolling, and tissue work and therapies, really it makes me want to be more active. I’m more mobile. I’m loose, makes me want to go out there and go snowboarding, hiking, snow shooting with my family, lifting weights, playing competitive sports, whatever it is. The mobility is got to be the focus.

In the past, what I was doing is focusing on some lifting because I love lifting heavy weights or playing competitive sports, but I would be just stiff and I didn’t like that feeling. When I focus on mobility, I end up doing a lot more things. I focus there first in my body. That’s a key indicator.

In the area of the soul, what I kind of reiterated and I got this in a big way when I was in the jungles down in South American. I was in the Amazon and I was doing some plant medicines with the shaman is fill my own cup first. In other words, really focus on filling me up so then I can spill into others like doing these daily growth hacks for you.

Oftentimes, as parents, spouses and especially as leaders in our community, we often are always trying to help other people. It’s a common thing I see within my clients. A lot of my clients are very, very goal-oriented and very driven and they’re always trying to give back and help others and I find myself doing the same thing.

In the past, what I would do is actually help other people before myself. I put my needs last and then I would just be depleted. I get sick. I’d be tired. I’d be grumpy and nobody wants to be around a grumpy person like, “I’ll just do it. Leave me alone, so I can just put my head down and get all these work done for you to have fun.” It doesn’t work. Filling my own cup first is something I’m coming back to.

In the area of relationships, another thing that I’ve learned many times but still the biggest lesson from last year is there’s a big difference between quantity time and quality time. And this has really come to the forefront now that I have a son who’s 10 months old. That quality time with my wife is extremely important, way more than quantity time sitting on a couch watching TV or something. The same thing with my son, that quality time with him. Man is he engaged. He is a presence meter. Right away, if I get on my phone, he is upset because I’m not present with him and I love that about him. It’s really up my game in that area.

Then, the area of my business comes back to focus. It comes back to kind of what my area in mind is. When I take one project like a client or a coaching session or if I’m learning something, if I deep dive into it and go all in and set aside 90-minute jam sessions or even days just to focus on that one thing, I get so much more done than if I just did it for half an hour over a month or an hour or two hours over a month. But if I just take a day and just really dive deeply, that’s where I get my best work done. That’s where I’m able to contribute the most to my clients.

What’s yours? I’m curious. What I invite you to do is not only share this with me but share this with three other people around you. Build your tribe. I talk about this so often and it is so important for you to get to that next level is sharing this with other people. You can share this the Daily Growth Hack. You can also share what you wrote and I love to hear it too. I appreciate all the comments that I’m getting from people in the social media outreach. Feel free, I’m easy to find and I love to chat with you.

That’s it for me today. As always go to authorofyourownstory.com where you can get the latest tips, tricks and techniques delivered right to your inbox when you sign up for the newsletter. And until tomorrow, go out and inspire someone simply by being the author of your own story. I’ll see you then.

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What’s Your Lowest Set Point?

Just recently I was taking care of my sick wife and child. Now, this is to me it’s something I’m actually really enjoyed, I’m grateful that I have the ability to do that. I’ve created a lifestyle for myself and for my family where I don’t have to work if I don’t want to. It’s complete freedom, and part of that comes to a responsibility as a husband and as a parent. When those times come, when both my child and my wife are sick at the same time, for me to step up and step into that role. Well, of course, they got better, which I was so happy to see, but it was my turn. I fell down and I got sick.

Now, of course, they’re there to pick me up, but one of the things I noticed is I started to revert to certain habits or triggers, right? I had low energy, I was lethargic, so of course, what do you crave? Well, typically with most people, or I don’t know about you, but with me, I crave sugar and just fatty foods, right? So I was thinking, oh geez, I want cookies, and I want nachos, and pizza, easy, fast, tasty foods.

Well, this was contraindicated to my fitness and health goals that I have right now, and that I set for myself. Here we are as I’m filming this, going to the end of Q1, end of the first quarter, so, entering the end of March. I’ve almost hit my fitness goals, but not quite yet. Now I know that I’m sick, I wanted to go down to what my lowest set point was and then I was going back to comfort foods that I had been eating since a very early age.

I remember when my mom used to make nachos with the Velveeta cheese and putting them in the microwave, I’d eat those all the time as a kid, and I was a heavyset kid. Here I am in my 40’s with a diverse fitness background, so I started to notice that I was really going or wanting to gravitate towards those comfort foods that my mom had given me. When I was sick, what we got were Slurpee’s, 7-UP, and we got nachos, those were the foods you got when you were sick and homemade cookies. Often times I would just eat the cookie dough, I mean, let’s just be real.

What I started to notice, I started to go back to that set point, that low point, but this time was different. This time using that five to thrive technique that I often talked about, and just constantly journaling and looking where I was at, I started to recognize, “Hey, why am I doing this? Why am I gravitating towards this desire of this low set point? Does this go in alignment with my five to thrive?” So I print out my five to thrive and I put them on a board, in fact, it’s sitting right in front of me right now, with my goals for 90 days. If you haven’t had a chance to play the 90-day game, make sure you do that. If you have any questions, just go ahead and reach out to me, and I’ll make sure you get access to the 90-day game. It’s an amazing program, it’s a program that even I run my six-figure clients. I run them through the exact same program, so I’d be happy to give that you.

I look at my 90-day game, these things, these foods that I wanted to eat, I wanted to digest them, right? I was sick, I deserved it because I wasn’t feeling well. I don’t know about you, but what’s truth for me is I can justify just about everything, right? I want to go to this level, and then I notice that, and then I said, “Look, this isn’t in alignment with my goals, what I want to do,” so I chose differently. I chose a different path, a path of wellness, and a path of health, which helped me of course, recover quicker, I assume at least, and I definitely feel better about myself now that I feel better and I’m coming out of that being sick as we all can get, especially during this season, seems like everybody is.

When coming out of that, I started to wonder, what else in my five to thrive, when I’m down when I’m tired, I’m sick, I’m not feeling well, where else in my five to thrive am I going to a low set point? Where is another area? When I’m stressed in the area of business, or I’m stressed in a relationship. Where is my default low part, not my default setting, but my bottom, my bottom floor so to speak, like the basement area that we can sometimes get into. I wanted to identify where that was.

It was extremely eye opening for me and the reason it was is because when I looked at that basement, I didn’t want to be there. I don’t want to be there at any time in my life. I was very fortunately, because in a lot of those areas, I don’t go there, or if I do, that trigger happens and I get out of it very quickly. That was just through repetition of my five to thrive.

What I’m going to invite you to do today is grab your journal, write out your five to thrive, heal your mind, your body, your soul, your relationships, and yes your business, then what I want you to do is write out where your lowest set point is. Where’s that low basement for you? Where is it in your mind? Do you start thinking negative thoughts as I can often do? I can start thinking about people are out to get me, or screw me over, that was my old default, it took me a long time to really trust people. I’m over that now, so I make sure I don’t get that by identifying it was the first step.

My body, like I mentioned, it was nachos and pizza and sugary foods and lots of coffee to keep my energy up. Then, what else in relationships were being triggered? Again, that trust factor, right? I can always come up with that trust factor of being triggered and getting angry real quick, then by identifying that, when I get angry, I’m only angry for a few seconds, because I can identify that quickly and go to discovery mode and go, “Ah, isn’t that interesting,” and go out into curiosity, and it takes me out of anger instantly.

Also, my soul, right? Where am I in that with my lowest set point? I don’t want to meditate, I don’t want to read, I don’t want to be outside, I just want to be in a dark room with my lowest set point. Then, in also business, where am I in my lowest set point in business? So, when I’m writing these things out, it helps me identify those areas and I hope it helps you too.

Once you’ve identified, you could make a conscious decision as I do with, is this acceptable? If it’s not for you, then it’s time to move up and in getting moving up is surround yourself with like-minded people, getting coaches, mentors, reading books, things like that, that are going to uplift you. Constantly like a song that’s a catchy tune on the radio that you heard five years ago that just all of a sudden picks up in your head as you’re walking or cleaning or doing something else. We want the same thing to happen with your high point. We really always to be, this is your default, keeps rising up, and this is going to help you gain freedom, clarity, and allow you to continue on the path to become the author of your own story.

That’s it for me today, I’d love to hear from you. Of course, make sure you go out and just inspire someone simply by being the author of your own story. I will see you tomorrow. Take care.

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Do What You’re Born To Do

You know, when a dog trainer goes into a home to work with a disciplined dog or a dog with disciplinary problems. The first question they often ask the owner is, “Do you walk your dog?” Now the reason they ask this is because dogs are animals, animals that were born and bred to move. They were born to work, right. And so when dogs are limited in their mobility or taken away the actual ability to go roam and be active, one of the first things they do is act out. They tear up the furniture. They start eating chairs. They start barking a lot because they don’t know what to do. It’s their way of acting out, right, because they’re not doing what they were born to do.

Now I don’t know about you, but I know this applies to me, as well, when I think about this, right. I think, humans, us humans, we were born to do our own greatness. We were born for freedom, to really go after our dreams, our hopes, and our desires. But how often do we not go after that because a teacher, or a parent in the past, maybe a friend, or society tells us, “That we’re supposed to follow a certain pattern,” right? We’re supposed to sit in a cubicle maybe. Maybe that’s you and you feel that way. Or, maybe you’re a business owner and you feel more like an employee to your business, and you’re working 15 hour days, six or seven days a week, only to find yourself being paid last.

Hey, I get it. I was there and I totally understand. Look, we’re all on different journeys, and regardless of what yours is, I believe that you’re born for freedom. Freedom to do what you want, what you’re put on this Earth to do. Now for all of us, that’s going to be a little different. And commonly, I get told by people, “Doug, I just don’t know what to do next.” Or, “Doug, I get it, but there’s no one around me that’s having conversations like this. There’s nobody around me that is actually doing things. So there’s no one that’s being a digital nomad, or I want to travel and there’s nobody else I know that’s doing that.”

Well, one of the things we often talk about is surrounding yourself with like-minded people. So I’m going to give you a couple options on how you can do that. Because there really is not a day that goes by that somebody doesn’t reach out to me and tell me that they are limited by the actual ability to work with somebody, a coach, a mentor, or be surrounded by friends and family, who are thinking along the same mental pathway. So first of all, the number one thing you can do is get a coach. A coach and a mentor.

Now, yes, that’s what I do professionally, and I love working with people. But that’s not why I’m saying it. I hired coaches, and professionals, and mentors, and paid them. Paid them a lot of money because you get what you pay for oftentimes. I knew this at an early age, that this was the way that I was going to be able to leapfrog ahead. And I spent a lot of that time, I spent my 10,000 hours, 10,000 hours ago studying how to be a good coach, and how to actually help someone move the needle.

Now it doesn’t have to be me but search a mentor, someone who’s been there and done that. It’s worth the investment every time. Now if you’re not looking for that one-on-one or that big of a capital investment, what’s next? What are some other alternatives? Mastermind groups, right. So mastermind groups are a great way of interacting with like-minded people. Oftentimes in mastermind groups, just by the association of the people that you’re with, you will grow. You get to be able to talk about struggles that you’re going through, ways of actually growing your business or your dreams.

But you also get to hear about other peoples’ trials, tribulations, successes, and failures. It’s an amazing way of doing it. There are mastermind groups that range all over the place. In fact, recently I was talking to somebody about a $50,000 mastermind group. Now here, I run mastermind groups, as well, and they’re a lower price point. So if that’s something you’re interested, reach out and we’ll be happy to schedule a call. Not everybody gets into something like that.

What’s next? Well, we have Author of Your Own Story University. That’s another advantage for you. That’s a way to beat a price point with people about a gym membership that are really looking at excelling. That’s another thing. Okay. What else? Well, you’re like, “Doug, I just don’t have that revenue or I’m not ready to make that leap.” Well, Author of Your Own Story, we have a free Facebook group, which is another advantage for you. Get on that Facebook group, and the reason I say get on that Facebook group is regardless of you even choosing one of the other paths … In fact, I put a lot of my clients in the group.

Because again, you’re going to be surrounded by like-minded people. You are the sum total of the five people you spend the most time with. We’ve all heard that before. We know it’s true, right. You look at somebody who’s going in and out of jail, chances are, they’re hanging out with people who are in and out of jail, and causing a lot of problems. The same can be true for successful individuals. When you look at successful people in any area of life, they’re often hanging out with other successful people, and that’s what I want for you.

This is a way for you to leapfrog ahead. So again, you can start off with something as simple as the Author of Your Own Story Facebook group. It’s a community of like-minded people and it’s free, right. There’s no barrier to entry here. That’s something you should do, no-brainer. If you’re interested in mastermind groups or coaching, reach out to me and I’ll look at it for you. And if it’s not a good fit for something that we’re doing, I’m happy to refer you to somebody else. I have a vast network of professionals and I’m happy.

My only goal is to get you where you want to go. So don’t be like the dog, where you’re restricted from actually walking, you just act out, right. You start drinking too much, doing drugs, just sedating yourself by watching TV, we don’t want that for you. And I know you don’t want that for yourself. It’s time, right here in this moment, to step forward. And so what I want you do, just a simple exercise, is grab your journal, and grab your Five to Thrive. Your mind, your body, your soul, your relationships, and yes, your business. Look in there and look at where you are not living in complete freedom.

Where in those Five to Thrive are you not acting as if you were born for this journey, you were born for freedom? Where are you being the restricted dog? Now I know I often fall into this. Especially recently, I was ill and I got sick. And so it was easy for me to justify some of my behaviors and start to slip back into old patterns. I’m human and so are you, and I get it, but the key is identifying those things. Identifying your Five to Thrive and looking at those areas where you’re actually sedating yourself, or looking at that, and being more like the dog who isn’t allowed to walk. Once you’ve identified that, then it’s time to take action.

I’d love to hear from you. Please reach out to me, find me on social media, or just shoot me an email. I’d love to know how this is working for you. In the meantime, I will see you tomorrow. Go out and inspire someone, simply by being the Author of Your Own Story.

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Revisit: Can You Handle the Truth

Can you handle the truth? I mean are you actually telling yourself the truth in areas of your life that are important, in your five to thrive, or are you actually trying just to be positive and tell yourself everything’s OK, when really it’s not, really you’re not on the path to getting where you want to go? Now see, there’s a difference between positivity and lying to yourself or being deceitful to yourself to protect yourself.

Now, I’m all for being positive and I think being positive is a key to living a great life, but you want to be positive and also honest and raw with yourself. For example, in your five to thrive, in your mind, are you not as smart as you really are telling yourself? Are people around you going, “Oh, that’s OK, don’t worry about your grades, or your performance, or your knowledge in a particular subject, you’re so good,” when you know you’re really not, and you’re living that lie?

You see, when you can be honest and clear with yourself, you can make a change. For example, if somebody was coming to me and telling me how great I am at auto mechanics, “Oh, Doug, you’re really good. Don’t even worry about it, you know, most people don’t know about auto mechanics, so, you know, don’t even fret it,” and the truth is I don’t know much about it. It’s something I’m actually interested in learning and I know I don’t know much about it.

But if I’m honest with myself in that area, and I’m just using this as a random example of course, but if I’m honest with myself, I can then pivot and change, and I can say, “Look, I’m not smart in this particular area of my life that I want to grow in, so what could I do, what’s the next best thing that I can do in this situation?” Then in that particular situation, I can pivot, change, and start studying. I can look for a course, I can find something else to do, I can study under another mechanic.

Now, this is in all areas. This could be your speaking. This could be your overall intelligence. If you’re really not a smart person, and some of us aren’t, and people are lying to you to make you feel good, that doesn’t help you, because if you’re not smart, what you can do is learn, you can read, you can learn more about a subject matter. What about your body, right? How often do we look in the mirror and tell ourselves these micro lies? I certainly have done it.

I come from a fitness background and I’ll make an excuse about having a newborn child, or traveling, or being sick, or running multiple companies, and that is why I’ve gained so much weight, when the truth is, the truth is I gained weight and now in that reality I can pivot, and I can take a step right away to make a change, and a change that I want to make, not a change that somebody else wants to make, and I’m not being critical about myself either. I’m just being honest with myself.

What about your soul? Where are you with your relationship with your god, or whatever it is, with your religion, or your spirituality, or meditation, or whatever you are with that, be honest and raw with yourself and what can you do. Now, also, relationships. This is one we often lie to ourselves about, right? “My marriage is great,” or we tell everybody else that. “How are you doing?”

“I’m doing fantastic.” Really there are all kinds of things going on in the background, right? We’re lying to ourselves and to each other. So, in your relationships, where are you honestly? Do you have a lot of guy friends, do you have a lot of girlfriends, do you have people you can confide in? Do you have people you can pick up the phone when things aren’t going well and at a moment’s notice, call them, and get the love that you need, or the help that you need, or whatever it is that you’re craving in that relationship? Do you have business connections, or how do people actually really see you? This is important, but also your relationship with yourself. Do you truly love yourself, and be honest about it, because many of us don’t.

What about your business? How’s your business really doing? I coach entrepreneurs and business owners all the time, so I’m in their mix every single day, and I can tell you that a lot of these extremely successful business owners aren’t as successful as you may think. That brand new Mercedes-Benz is on a lease, that new house they just bought they’re almost going to get foreclosed on. I get to see the day-to-day operations of behind the curtain because people allow me into their lives so I can help them better themselves. When doing this, I can tell you that in your business, often times for some reason we’re taught to lie about business, we’re taught to lie to ourselves too. “Things are going great, we’re on an upward trend,” when really you know things aren’t going as well. You’re not pushing the envelope, you’re not growing your business to a level that allows you to support yourself, your family, and your employees.

What I want you to do right now is grab your journal. Grab your journal, and of course I want you to write out your five to thrive, your mind, your body, your soul, your relationships, and your business, and in each category I want you to write to yourself where are you lying to yourself? Now, maybe you’re not lying to yourself in all of the categories, and maybe it’s one, or maybe none, that’s up to you, you decide. But for a lot of us, we lie to ourselves in multiple facets, right, and once you determine what that lie is or that story you’re telling yourself, now you can come clean in with the truth.

Now, I want you to have that, so I’m going to use body as an example, so I’ll use me. I put on weight, right, 190, 190 pounds is my fighting weight, I’m at 230 right now, right, so I’ve made this huge lie, now I’m being honest with myself. Immediately what I want you to do is to determine where you want to get based on that lie, and take an action step, right? For me that action step is right away I ordered meal prep, hired a trainer even though I have a fitness background, and I put on my running shoes even though I have a cold, and went out for a walk, right, immediate action to change that course, and that’s what I want you to do with your five to thrive. How about your business, your relationships, your soul, your mind, etc?

Now, once you have that, take immediate action now, and bonus points for those of you that go to The Author of Your Own Story Group and post this so you can get accountability, so we can keep you accountable so you can actually continue on the path to The Author of Your Own Story lifestyle. That’s it for me today. As always, go to www.AuthorofYourOwnStory.com where you can get more tips, tricks, and insights right to your inbox and we can continue this conversation. Have a great day and remember to go out and be the Author of Your Own Story.

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Episode 300

What is a success without freedom? And the reason I ask this is oftentimes as business owners, we actually go after success so hard that we lose freedom. What happens all too often with business owners, especially solopreneurs or people who have less than 10 employees under one roof. What happens is, they define success by trying to build their business, and the amount of time they’re putting in. This is a time of natural reflection, a time where we can look back, go through our journals, look at old pictures, and see what we’ve accomplished.

Consider the possibility that you’ve forgotten a lot of the accomplishments you’ve achieved. You’ve forgotten, in your Five to Thrive, all the growth that you’ve had. We all have 24 hours in a day. I don’t care who you are, you have 24 hours in the day. What are you going to do with it? Have you ever thought of this? Have you ever woke up in the morning and said, “How can I seize and conquer this day?” Are you solving problems, are you allowing other people’s monkeys to come on in the areas of your mind, your body, right? Are you actually taking on diets, and exercise routines, and saying, “I’ll write the program for you. I’ll help you with your diet. I’ll do it for you.”

What about relationships? That’s where I see it the most. What about business? The business also happens quite a bit. I got an email just this morning from somebody that I’ve done lots of business within the past. And, what I didn’t know has they actually had a full-time job, and their side hustle was what I was hiring them to do. Which is great, they’re a phenomenal worker. But they reached out to me and two of their other mentors and said, “Hey look you guys, I would like to leave my current job, my full-time job that I have. It’s not fulfilling for me. And I’d like to delve into the work that I’ve been working with you on.”

And so, the work that I know that he was doing, and he made a list of all the things he had been working with all three of those. And kudos to him, he had three mentors. And I knew about the other two mentors. I think it was really smart. He was building his foundation and gaining his knowledge. And he got to a point where he just had a ton of knowledge and was ready to apply. The problem was, he wasn’t sure when to make that jump.

If you are today, the exact same place you were last year. And, if you’re going to be the same place next year, how does that make you feel? First I want to thank you for trusting in me, and sharing with me your experiences. It really fills my heart. As the story goes, a high school teacher walked up to the chalkboard and put a dot right in the middle. Then turned to her class and said, “What is this?” Well, one kid stood up right away and said, “Obviously it’s just a chalk mark on a blackboard.” And there were no other responses.

The teacher looked at the classroom and said, “I’m really surprised at you guys. I’m surprised because I did this exact same exercise or this question in front of a group of kindergartners, and they came up with 50 answers. It’s a squashed bug, it’s a start in the night sky. The answers went over, and over, and over again as their imaginations flew.” We’ve lost that childlike imagination often, and that doesn’t allow us to see new possibilities. Step into your hero or heroine role, right here, right now. Make a conscious choice to be the hero in your own story.

Now, contrary to popular belief, the key to creativity is actually focus. It’s, you can get more creative when you get more focused. So what’s your theme? What’s your theme for this month, this quarter, this year? See, my theme is posted right on my wall in front of me, so I can see each and every day. Now, the theme for 2018 for me, is epic growth and adventure.

Now, all of us want to live to a certain level, a certain potential that we all have. But if you’re feeling like you’re in a rut, you’re spinning your tires over and over again, and you’re not getting anywhere, go out and do something different. Seek a coach, get a mentor, hire someone, take a course, take a class, do something differently. You deserve to live, not only to your potential but live a life that you’ve always dreamed of. A life of purpose, a life of passion, a life that’s holistic in the sense that, you not only have a successful business if you’re a business owner, but you have a successful relationship, a successful body, mind, everything. You have the energy to bring to it. You deserve all that and more. Are you living up to your potential?

Now, if you say yes, I applaud you. Fantastic. If you are a nine out of 10 on all of the areas of your life, then just keep doing what you’re doing. In fact, reach out to me ’cause I want to know what your secret sauce is. I want to know what it is that you’re doing, that’s actually allowing you to live at this level.

Start now. What are you waiting for? You know life is short. If anything we’ve seen around the world in just terms of natural disasters, let alone man-made catastrophes, and all the other things that come along with just this human condition, life is short. You know, we’ve had earthquakes, fires, floods, you name it. Wars going on around the world. I actually know people who have been killed. I want you to start now. Whatever it is that your stories about, your Author of Your Own Story Lifestyle. What does that mean to you? Start today.

What if I met you five years from now, right? What if I see you, we’re friends, right? And I run into you, and I see you at a party and I say, “Hey, how’s it going? I haven’t seen you in five years. What have you been up to? And your response is, “Things are great Doug. Gosh, I can’t wait to tell you.” Then we fill in the gap. What happened to make things so great? Tell me what it is? Five years from now, what is your life like five years from now that makes it so great, right? I want you to write that down. Then, what I want to know in your journal, what I want to know, how did you get there? What were the steps necessary, the big steps you did? Was it quitting a job, was it actually growing within your job, starting a relationship, traveling more, getting your business online so you don’t have to be dependent on a local economy like I did, right? What are those steps that you needed to take?

So five years from now, I’m fast forwarding and I’m asking you this question. You’re saying, “Doug, life is amazing, it’s the best it’s ever been. It’s everything I’ve ever dreamed of.” And find areas of growth that allow you to have the life that you’ve always dreamed of. Areas of growth that excite you. Don’t get caught up in the shoulds, right? We all do it. But I want to pull you out of it quicker.

I hope you enjoyed today’s Daily Growth Hacks. Please put your comments right down below, and remember to click subscribe. This way we can ensure that we’re delivering these Daily Growth Hacks right to you each and every day. On behalf of the whole team here, remember, go out and be the Author of Your Own Story.

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Revisit: The Skater, the Entrepreneur and The Author of Your Own Story

Last night someone asked me, they said, “Doug, how do I know when I see somebody that’s actually living The Author of Your Own Story lifestyle? Give me two examples, just something that I can look at in other areas of life that I can really see.” And I said, “Easy, that’s really easy for me to do.” And they looked at me in astonishment. “Well, why was it easy?” Well one, the skater. The skater is the perfect analogy, right? You see a skateboarder and what are they doing? They’re trying tricks and they’re eating it hard. If you watch, there are tons of YouTube videos as well as Instagram channels dedicated to this phenomenon.

So a skateboarder might be skating and trying a really complicated trick and they might cut their head, they might cut their hand, they might cut their leg, but they try and try and try again. And maybe after the tenth attempt, not only are they in pain, but they are just determined to get that trick accomplished and get it on film. Their tenth attempt, they try the trick and boom, they land it. And you can just see the euphoria, everybody goes nuts, everybody goes crazy. But the point is despite the pain, despite the setbacks, despite the failures, they are trying and trying again. They are determined, they are passionate and they are dedicated to what they’re trying to accomplish.

The same can be said for the entrepreneur, right? I’ve never met an entrepreneur where every day or everything they’ve done has just been easy. It’s not at all. It’s the day to day grind. And I say grind lightly, right, cause grind can still be flowing and I use that term very loosely, but it’s the day to day in the business, the focused attempts at making things work. Cause they’re failing more often than not, failing all the time. But failing forward. Conscientiously failing forward and making sure they’re following a path that works for them. An entrepreneur is somebody who gets up … An analogy I love to use is, an entrepreneur is somebody who is willing to work 15 hours a day so they don’t have to work for somebody else for eight hours a day. Totally get it. I also caveat don’t think everybody should be an entrepreneur, but they are by definition, somebody who is going to keep going over and over again, despite failure. They’re gonna make calculated risks, but their passion is gonna take them forward. The passion for what they really want to do.

So same thing with the skater, attempts, attempts, attempts. They’re gonna get hurt, they’re gonna lose money, lose employees. All kinds of things happen in business on a regular basis and if you’re an entrepreneur, I’m just talking to the choir here, but if you’re not, you don’t see what’s behind the scenes of these business owners and so it can be very stressful. And oftentimes, they’re falling, they’re failing, they’re falling forward, they’re falling flat on their face and they’re dusting themselves off. But this is all behind the scenes, right? What you see on camera aren’t these aspects. Just like a skater, typically you see the great landing skating tricks, although there are again a few dedicated channels that show you those fails. But both of these categories, both of these types of people, I would say, are really dedicated to their craft and despite being hurt, despite all these things going against them, they get up, dust themselves off and keep trying.

And I would say the same thing is to do with you. Someone who’s out there trying to live The Author of Your Own Story lifestyle. Somebody who is riding life on their own terms, who is living life. They’ve kind of unplugged from the matrix so to speak, and actually, your eyes are open and you’re going after your goals. Now it might not be easy at first. Especially if you haven’t built your tribe right? Especially if you haven’t built those people around you, people having conversations like this one, like the one you and I are having right now. If you haven’t built that, it makes it tougher because the people around you just naturally want to pull you down a little bit. And it’s not their fault, it’s just natural human instincts. A lot of people don’t like change.

But as The Author of Your Own Story, right, as The Author of Your Own Story individual, person living that lifestyle, it’s up to you, is every time you fall is to dust yourself off and carry on. Not only for yourself, although that should be your main focus cause this is your own story, but also the people around you. You’re gonna have so many silent observers of the way that you’re living your life. The things that you’re doing, the things that are coming out. They’re gonna be watching from the stands. And some are gonna be naysayers, they’re gonna be hoping that you fall so it makes excuses for themselves to not be the authors of their own story. But most people are gonna be watching to see how it’s done. To see if it’s really possible. Can you really live this lifestyle? Can you really live life on your own terms like Doug keeps talking about? The answer’s absolutely yes. And if you’re listening to this or if you’ve been listening to this and actually putting these work practices in, on a day to day basis, you’ve experienced this as well.

And I’m stumbling here a little bit because I do these off the cuff, right? I do these without any plan, but that’s okay. I fail but I don’t let the fact that I don’t have a teleprompter, the lighting’s not good, I don’t let any of that stop me from just going out and doing it. Going out and trying. Going out and experimenting. Cause the truth is as soon as I hit stop on this, I’m going out with my family. We’re going down to the river, we’re gonna spend a beautiful day by the river all day today. And it’s gonna be amazing. So I’m okay with failing forward and failing forward right here in this particular instance.

So here’s what I’m gonna ask you to do. Where in your life are you not failing forward where you know you should be? Where are you not being the skater that gets hurt and then dusts themselves off and tries the trick again despite the knowing that they’re probably gonna get hurt? Or the entrepreneur who’s going out there, risking it all, putting their self on the line for humiliation, their money, everything, their family, their work, everything on the line to be successful. Where are you not doing that in your life? In your five to thrive, your mind, your body, your soul, your relationships, and your business. All five categories, where are you playing small? And then I want you to rip that off. I want you to tear that layer off of yourself and go out there. Take the risk. Get injured but dust yourself off because just like the skater, you’re gonna nail that trick in your life and that is what’s gonna push you forward.

That’s it for me today. As always, remember to go out and be the Author of Your Own Story.

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The Fear of What Might Happen

The fear of what might happen. I don’t know about you but I have definitely been in a situation where I feared what could happen rather than focusing on the here and now and the possibilities. One such example is an example when I did a study where I surveyed people. And when I was surveying them, they said, “Hey look, if I lay a 20-foot plank, like a 2×4, across a room could you walk across it?” And most all of those who were asked said, “Yeah, sure. I could make it confidently across this 20-foot plank.”

And then when they were asked, “Hey, if I put this 20-foot plank between two buildings ten stories, or 100 feet, high in the air, now could you do it confidently?” And most of them said, “No.” Now this example, and it’s occurred in my life, and I’m guessing it’s occurred in yours as well, is that we fear things that might happen, that could happen.

We’re still talking about the same 20-foot plank. The difference is the confidence level goes down because you have this assumption of risk. You start to think, “Oh, my gosh, if I walk across this plank on the floor and I fall off, no big deal. But what if I’m 100 feet up in the air and I fall. I’ll die and I’ll crack my head, and all these bad things will happen.”

Well, this same thing applies to all areas of our Five to Thrive: our mind, our body, our soul, relationships, and business. And so what I’m going to ask you is to think about this is all five areas. Where are you putting the fear? What could happen? And allowing that to stop you from doing the things that you want to do.

So is it are you not doing a Spartan race or something for your body because you’re worried that you’re too old, not in shape, whatever it may be. Or are you not taking the leap and starting that business because you’re worried about the risk? Or hiring that coach? Or taking that program? Because the investment, I don’t know, maybe it’s too much.

I hear these fears all the time. I not only coach entrepreneurs and business owners, but I also coach the coaches that coach them. Most of my clients are either business owners or coaches. And even with the coaches that have high levels of training, they still go through this. As do I.

So I’m going to invite you to the possibility that you might be doing this. And the possibility that you’re doing this in all the areas in your Five to Thrive. So what I want you to do is grab your journal. Write out your Five to Thrive and look at that and say where are you putting fear or fear of what could happen. d that’s letting that as an excuse limit you from moving forward.

And once you’ve identified that then look at say, “What’s the worst thing that could really happen?” And what if the actual outcome was lessened. So what if you took whatever that outcome is and, if it’s 100 feet up, and brought that to the floor so to speak, in the area of your business.

You’re thinking about launching a new company and maybe you haven’t launched one before. What’s the worst that you could happen? What’s the first steps that you could take to make that more of a reality for yourself? Maybe that’s just really testing the marketplace, or maybe that’s taking Friday nights and instead of going out to happy hour with your friends actually working on the business.

I know I did that way back in 2002,’03,’04. I really worked hard and I missed many Friday nights. People thought I was out doing something crazy but really I was actually working and honing my craft as a coach, and actually honing my craft as a business leader.

So I invite you to do the same. Of course, also, what I want you to do is go to authorofyourownstory.com. Get on the email list. This way you’re getting the tips and tricks delivered right to your inbox each and every day so you don’t miss out.

And I want you to do the work. It’s easy for us just to listen to these tips and take the insights and go, “Okay, that’s a good idea, Doug. Maybe I’ll do it, maybe I won’t. Or I’ll do it later. No big deal.” But you don’t do the work. Then you just become a digester of content. That is one of the worst things you can do because you have the knowledge but you’re not executing. And knowledge isn’t power, but it’s the execution of knowledge that’s power. And I want that for you.

I’ll see you tomorrow. As always, go out and inspire somebody by simply being The Author or Your Own Story.

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What Was I Thinking?

How often have you heard that from somebody who makes a mistake, and they go, “What was I thinking?” Well, the truth is they weren’t thinking, and that’s why today’s tip is going to be short and right to the point.

The key here when making a critical decision is to stop, pause and breathe. Those three things in that order: stop, pause, breathe. So, what I want you to do when you’re making a decision or you’re trying to go about the rest of your weekend … and we’re filming this to be released in a Sunday … but what I want you to think about is thinking, right? So, stop and take 10 breaths. Now, I do this in important conversations and I also do this technique right before making any big decision. I’ll stop and actually sometimes sit down if I’m by myself in a meditative type situation, were I’m making a big business decision, but if I’m in a conversation and the conversation either gets heated or I can tell the other person’s emotional, what I’ll do is I’ll stop and take 10 deep breaths because actually speaking.

Sometimes this puts a little barrier as far as time between me and the person that I’m talking to, but that’s okay, right? That actually sometimes diffuses the whole situation. But stopping and giving myself those 10 quality seconds of a deep breath where I’m getting good oxygen into my body and pausing, allows me to think rather than just being led by my emotions.

So, I want you to try this today and see how it works for you, and I’d love to hear back from you on how this works. If something doesn’t come up, maybe you’re at home by yourself, go ahead and think about another time when you thought, “Oh, what was I thinking? I went out too late …” or whatever it was. Assuming you weren’t impaired, you know, went out drinking too much, but say something during the day or a conversation. Again, try that. 10 seconds, especially if you’re talking to somebody that triggers you. A lot of times this is going to be a spouse of somebody you’re in a relationship with. Pause, count to 10 internally before saying anything else. That’ll allow you to get control of your emotions and have the opportunity to think before you act.

That’s it from me today. As always, got to authourofyourownstory.com where you can get the latest tips, tricks and techniques delivered right to your inbox. Have an awesome day. I will something else you tomorrow. Go out and inspire someone by being the Author of Your Own Story.

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Revisit: Pain Provides You 3 Choices

Pain is just part of life, we all go through pain. The pain of an event, a loss of a loved one, pain that is physical. Either way, pain provides us three ways to respond to it. I want you to do is think of these three ways and think about which one you actually fall into more often. And just be honest with yourself.

The first one is the initial reaction to ignore the pain, or blame others. Now, this is events in your life, other people, or blaming yourself. Now you could ignore it, and act like it didn’t happen and bury it and stuff it deep down inside of you like we often do. That’s what I used to do a lot of times is do that.

Or you’ll also see people playing the victim role, we talked about that in one of the previous Daily Growth Hacks. They play the victim role and they blame themselves, or they might actually blame somebody else. And it’s that persons fault that they’re suffering, or feeling the pain. I most recently talked about seeing this with a breakup, even though it was a long time ago. But the pain was still there for the person, about the breakup. And they were still blaming and playing the victim role, seeking attention to blame the other person. That’s one way. So one way you can deal with pain is by blaming other people, blaming yourself, or just ignoring it.

The second way you deal with pain is just changing your life conditions. It could be pain or something going on, you could go ahead and say, “You know what? I didn’t pay a bill and someone saw that and it causes a lot of pain cause it damages my psychology because Susie knows I don’t have money so I’m gonna work really hard to make money.” So you’re changing your life conditions. So maybe I get another job, so I’m working two jobs so I have enough money that I’m always paying my bills.

Or maybe it’s pain in the sense that, really simple, like hey my knees hurt when I run. And so I’m gonna change my living conditions in the sense of, I’m gonna get better running shoes, I’m gonna get a running coach that’s gonna teach me to pose running. I’m gonna drop some weight, change my diet so my body doesn’t have as much weight on me knees. I’m gonna foam roll my calves so that they’re shock absorbers, etc, etc.

So the second way you can deal with pain is just by changing your life conditions. The third way you can do it is by changing your blueprint. And we haven’t really talked about the blueprint. But the blueprint, and what I’m talking about is really changing your physiology, your focus, and your meaning. So changing the way that you respond to things. We talked about physiology before, what I mean by that is chest out, shoulders back. The way that your physiology is showing a commanding performance. Or, chest down, shoulders rounded really shows a depressing physiology so to speak. But also your focus and meaning. So what you choose to focus on when you experience that pain, and then what you make that mean. And that’s really important here cause that changes your blueprint or the way that you see things.

So let’s go back to that breakup. I’ll just talk about as if I was that person that went through the breakup, it isn’t me but I’ll act as if. So instead of playing the victim role and blaming somebody else, one thing I could do is change my physiology. Well, one, I could imagine that if I was hurt my shoulders would be slumped, my head would be down, and you could picture somebody that’s going through an emotional hurt or a breakup that’s really sad for them. But instead maybe what I do is I take a deep breath, diaphragmatic breath, I put my shoulders back, my head up, my chest out, and I get in that really powerful stance. Feet nice and wide, I’m really in a powerful stance.

Then maybe I change my focus, instead of focusing on the hurt from the breakup maybe I’m focusing on the opportunities that are out there now. There are so many people to meet, now I have some free time, I can actually go out and do the things that I like to do. By doing that I’m changing the meaning. Wow, yeah this breakup hurt but jeez I got all these opportunities now. I can go to events, I can really focus my time on my personal development, I can really focus on me so I can now attract a better, higher quality person. A better fit for me. I can really just live life.

And you can see by going through that story, so that story of changing my physiology, changing what I’m focusing on, and changing my meaning, it’s a totally different outcome. So instead of going through depressed mode. Super depressed, blaming everybody else, I’m now changing it to all the positives. And really, it’s just a matter of changing those three things. My physiology that allows me to get into that state of opportunity or possibility. And then I’m changing my focus, what am I choosing to focus on? Am I choosing to focus on the negative? Or am I choosing to focus on the opportunities or something different? And then when I focus on something different I can also change what it means. It’s just a shift. Now, changing what it means is really not changing anything when you think about it. I have an opportunity to create a story over here about me being a victim or creating another story over here about me being the hero and having all these other opportunities in my life.

Now my reality is the same, but yet, I’m still totally different. When you think about it, I’m just choosing to be the author of my own story and choosing which story fits me best. Now, if I go into victimhood a lot of things are gonna happen. Probably there’s a greater opportunity for my immune system going down and getting sick. Who wants to hang out with somebody that’s in victim role all the time? Unless you’re in the victim role, you’re codependent. You don’t want to be around those people anyway, right? So, for somebody that’s positive and for somebody that goes, “Jeez this breakup really hurt. But however, it just wasn’t the right person, now I’m able to work on myself so I can attract, draw in, and bring in the right person. I’m gonna focus on myself. I’m gonna do those things that I loved. This is a great opportunity for me.” And that is just a different energy and a different story. And that is exactly what being the author of your own story is all about.

I hope this helps you. What I want you to do is grab your journal, write out your five to thrive. And look at where you’ve had pain in these areas. A common one I hear about in The Author of Your Own Story group when I get messages is, wait. Pain and wait. Pain and relationships with a breakup. Where are you experiencing pain? And I want you to write down what that pain is. And then I want you to write down which of these three choices have you made currently, in that area? Now if you chose the victim role, that’s fine, don’t beat yourself up. But then choose something else. Choose to change your living conditions, or I would say, go even deeper. Choose to change your blueprint. Change your blueprint, what your physiology is, what you are focusing on, and also what you make it mean. Do this all through your five to thrive.

Of course, I want you to build your tribe. I don’t want you to have a tribe of victims. The people around you are naysayers and negative. You don’t need that in your life. You need people that are gonna uplift you, put wings under you and lift you up as you lift them up too. You can start by lifting them up and building your tribe by sharing this with three other people. Grab the first three people that come to your mind, share it with those three people.

To take a bonus step, what I recommend doing is something that I do. Is share with somebody that you want a relationship with. Now this is not a romantic relationship, so to speak. But someone that you want a relationship, a friendship to have with. Somebody that you look up to or somebody you’re saying, “Hey look, this person is in my avatar, this person is doing what I want to do. I’m gonna share it with them and bridge that conversation.” So do that right now. Don’t stop in a moment of insight without taking immediate action.

That’s it for me today, remember to go out and be the Author of Your Own Story.

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You’ve Trained People to Overwhelm You

I’m going to talk about the topic of relationships and business because I got a series of messages from a frustrated and overwhelmed business owner. Now what they were frustrated about was the fact that I was calling them out on their BS. Now what I mean by that is, they were telling how overwhelmed they are, how they don’t have balance in their life.

How they’re so overwhelmed with everything going on and that I just don’t understand. The truth is I completely understood where they were coming from, and I was just trying to help them because I had been down that path before. One of the comments they said, it said, “Doug, you just don’t seem to get it right. I’m a small business owner and people are texting me and calling me and emailing me, through all the day, and I can’t schedule that kind of work. I can’t just look at my calendar and schedule that in there,” which is total BS right. We totally can. See what happens is, and this happened to me as a business owner, is I trained the people around me, my staff, my clients, my friends, my family, that I would respond to any message immediately, whether it be on social media. Whether it be a text message, whether it be a phone call, whether it be an email. I was Johnny on the spot, getting back to people. Putting out fires and solving their problems. And I was good at it.

The problem was, it was wearing me out. So I tried something new right. I tried different evolutions. And over time, what I found was, I started to train the people around me, only to reach out to me when they had a problem, if they had a solution, or if it was an emergency. And then I also trained them to expect me to get back to them within 24 hours, not 24 seconds, as I used to. I was so ingrained in me and embedded in me to get back to people immediately. You got to understand that social media companies like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, they have trained that us on our phone, we get an alert, we are going to respond. They give us a little hit of dopamine when we respond. They make us feel like we’re being left out if we don’t respond. They spend a lot of money on this phycology, training us to respond to messages on social media.

The same thing happens with email. How often do you check your email during the day? If it’s more than a few times, chances are you’re checking it way too much. Way too much to allow you to be on your journey. Now I know some of you are freaking out and saying, “That’s ridiculous Doug. Because of my job, I always have to be on email.” And that may be true, but I’ve worked with thousands of business owners over the years, and I think it’s such a small percentage, 1%, that needs to be on that much.

The second reason I would it, is does that fit into your life? Are you feeling overwhelmed with this level of communication? And if you are, something needs to shift. Build your business around your life and not your life around your business. Now if you’re not a business owner, the same thing applies. Have you trained your friends and family that whenever there’s a crisis, whenever there’s a drama in their life, they reach out to you right away because they know you’re going to get right back to them, make them feel better? Or you’re going to get right back to them and say, “Oh, it’s not your fault. It’s your spouse’s horrible. Your boss is horrible. Oh.” And you get caught up in the same drama that they are in. Only to feel a little bit more tired right? A little bit more worn out. Looking back on your day say, “Jeez, nothing gets done. It’s not my fault. People are reaching out to me so much.”

Well, the truth is, you’ve trained them to reach out to you. And I know I did. I’m guilty of this right, that’s how I can see it so clearly. And that’s what makes me an effective coach, is I’ve made all the mistakes. Some of them more often than I’d like to admit before learning the lesson. But what I figured out is how to train my team. Now my business, my team knows that I’m available usually, 10 AM to 2 PM, Monday through Thursday. Now Monday’s new for me. It used to be Tuesday to Thursday, and that was it. That’s the only time they had to get a hold of me, and that’s when I responded to emails, phone calls. That’s when I did the work right. The rest of the time was spent working on what I wanted to work on. What actually fed my soul right. What actually feeds me.

Now it sounds crazy and I know me back in 2006 or so would have been, that’s ridiculous. There’s no way you can do that. I run more businesses today, I make more money today. I have more clients and more fun today, and I’m more effective during those times. See its not like I don’t work more than that because I certainly do. But I’m doing the things that are focused. The things that move the needle in my business. The things that I want to do right. Coaching clients, helping people out, that’s what fills me up. Spending time with my family, wrestling with my son. These are the things that fill me up. Now my staff sends me messages, but they don’t expect a return. Now we have channels of communication that we’ve developed right, where if it’s an emergency, go ahead and call me on my mobile. Because otherwise, I don’t want you calling me on my mobile. Otherwise, send me a message, send me a chat, it doesn’t matter. But if I see a message on my mobile, I know it’s something extremely important.

Now over time, I’ve trained them to do this. And it’s automatic. It’s the lifestyle I live. Now I chose to work because I love what I do. I love the company’s I work with, the people I work with, but it’s a choice not a feeling of overwhelm. I still get messages, I get messages from a lot of you on social media. And you probably have figured out by now, I don’t always respond quickly. And it’s not because I don’t like you. It’s not because I don’t want to help you, it’s because I’m living life on my terms, and part of that is staying off of social media at certain times right.

But I still have the same triggers. I go on to Facebook and someone sends me a message. I check it right away, I have to. And then you scroll down a little bit and you get caught up over time. That’s why I tell business owners often, to track your time. And when you’re feeling overwhelmed, overwhelmed a sign for fear, that means you haven’t trained yourself and trained the people around you to respect your time. Once you get a control of your time, that will give you control of your freedom, which will then allow you to go further down the path of the author of your own story lifestyle.

So if any of this resonates with you, reach out to me because I’d love to hear your stories. I can pass these stories on to other people that reach out to me. It’s always fun to be able to relate it, so they don’t just think it’s just from me. Or clients that I’m working with, but also from the rest of the audience. And I can share those nuggets with them. Because again, I’ve done this all myself and I found ways out and I want to help you find a way out. Break free of the matrix, break free of the chains, and get out there to living the author of your own story lifestyle. When I ask you on a scale of one to ten, how’s your life? You’re constantly at nine’s or above, all the time. That’s it for me today. As always, share this with three people that you love. Three people you think will enjoy a conversation like this. And make sure you get on our email list, so you can get the latest tips, tricks and techniques delivered right to your inbox.

I will see you tomorrow, have a great day and go out and be the Author of Your Own Story.

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What Are the Biggest Lessons You’ve Learned Over the Past Year?

What’s Your Lowest Set Point?

Do What You’re Born To Do

Revisit: Can You Handle the Truth

Episode 300

Revisit: The Skater, the Entrepreneur and The Author of Your Own Story

The Fear of What Might Happen

What Was I Thinking?

Revisit: Pain Provides You 3 Choices

You’ve Trained People to Overwhelm You

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