Darcy Curry, Author at Author of Your Own Story

Why Aren’t You A 10?

I just got back from a three-hour ruck with a business owner where I did a coaching session with him. Now, if you’re not familiar with what a ruck, a ruck is really when you fill a backpack up with weight. In this case, it happened to be over 20 pounds, and you go for a walk or a hike really. What we decided to do is meet for one of our coaching sessions and actually do a ruck. Actually, do a long walk while we talked and had a conversation.

Now, this is important for a couple reasons. One is I find oftentimes when I’m personally in a kinetic state, that actually it frees up a lot. Most people find this. Right? Most people find that when we’re moving and in movement we actually are able to access different parts of our brain and our consciousness. This is a common thing, and science has proven this to be true. Well, during this conversation I was talking to him about his setting his 90-day goals. What are his goals going into Q1 of 2018? The first quarter, so January 1st to March 31st. What are his goals? March 31st, what is he going to want to do? In this conversation of his five to thrive, I started to ask him, “Where are you in these goals? When you set this goal for March 31st, on a scale of one to 10, where are you?” He was very honest with me and said, “You know, I’m about a seven or an eight on this scale.”

I asked him the question I’m going to ask you. Why aren’t you a 10? Why aren’t you a 10 on your own goal? This is your goals and your life. Why are you not a 10? What are those reasons? In that conversation, a lot of things can come up. In that conversation with yourself, a lot can come up. Look at yourself in your mind. I had a goal of being conversational in Spanish that I did not hit in 2018, or ’17, excuse me. Now, one of the reasons I did not hit that is I was never a 10. Every time people would ask me how committed I was to that goal, I almost always said a seven.

Now, when asking myself, why am I not a 10? Why am I not? Now, if I’m not a 10, one of two things I would say happened. One is that I picked the wrong goal. Two is there’s something else that’s stopping me from hitting my goal. Now, could be the excuse of balance. Sometimes having balance in your life as the real reason, it is a real excuse and it’s valid. For most people when I’m doing coaching with them, it isn’t. They often use balance as a crutch, balance as a way of preventing themselves from diving deep into their lives, from diving into their lives in such a manner that allows them to write it as the authors of their own story. I’m going to ask you this question. Look at your goals in your five to thrive. Now, hopefully, you’re setting goals, and hopefully, you’re like me and you’re looking at Q1 or 2018 as a whole of your goals.

Look at each of those goals, and how committed are you really? Be honest with yourself. Stop lying. Be honest with yourself. How committed are you to those goals on a scale of one to 10? Now, if you say anything but an actual 10, what I want to know is, why? Write down, why are you not a 10? What is it that’s the gap between where you are today and that level or maybe it’s a seven like me with Spanish to a 10? What is that gap? Once you answer that question and truly answer it, you can fill that gap. I highly recommend that if you are a seven or below, that you either change your goal or get recommitted and find out what’s preventing you from being a 10. You see, this is your life. You’re able to write your own story any way you want to. If your goal is something that’s not inspiring you, throw it away. Life’s too short. It should be inspiring you and allowing you to grow.

Now, for me for example, for Spanish, being a seven in my conversational Spanish, it’s more like I hope it works, and I’ll put some effort into it, but it’s not really a goal. That’s okay too. If you don’t want to have a goal in that particular area, that’s up to you. This is your story, but here as your coach, as your mentor, as your friend, I’m here talking to your right here, right now. I want you to be 10s in all areas of your life. That 10 just means a 10 in fulfillment. What is that 10? Maybe that 10 is you’re going to read one book this quarter, or maybe you’re going to learn a foreign language, or maybe you’re going to learn a whole new skill. I don’t know. What is it for you? What’s fulfilling for you in that area and in your business? Often you hear people throw around, “I’m going to 10x my business.” I hear that all the time. It’s like a buzz word, but what are you really going to do in your business?

Oftentimes people say, “Well, I’m going to get 20, 30, 40 new clients in the first quarter.” Well, why? Where are you on a scale of one to 10? They reply, “Well, Doug, I’m an eight. I’m a solid eight on that. I don’t want it to interfere with my family and things of that nature.” That’s great. Does it have to interfere with your family? If you’re really an eight, what you’re telling me is, “If I hit it, that’s kind of nice, and if I don’t hit it, well then whatever. I was just an eight anyway, so I have that excuse to fall back on.” You need to have a reason why. There needs to be a reason why behind your goals to allow you to push forward. Today I’m going to ask you, grab your journal. Write out your five to thrive, your mind, your body, your soul, your relationships, and of course your business, and then I want you to write out your goals. Ask yourself again. Don’t lie to yourself. Ask yourself honestly, where are you on that sale of one to 10?

Whenever you’re not at a 10, ask yourself, why? Why are you not at a 10? Is there something you can do to bridge that gap, to bring you to a 10, or do you need to actually switch your goal and completely change it up to something that’s inspiring enough, that pulls you towards it rather than you having to constantly push towards that goal? Now, as always, what I want you to do is go over to authorofyourownstory.com. Make sure you get on our newsletter if you haven’t already if you’re a new listener. Then, of course, share this with three friends. This is a great conversation to have where you can do a deep dive into their goals and they learn from yours. This is what relationships are really about. Right? You can share it with them. Then, you can talk together about what numbers you’re at and hold each other accountable. Build your tribe.

It’s often said that you are basically the sum total of the five people you spend the most time with. You’re with me today, and I appreciate that and I value that, but I want you to have more people around you that are supporting you so you can truly live a life of your dreams. You deserve to live life on your own terms and a life that’s worth writing about, and that’s what I want for you. That’s it for me today. Go out and inspire someone by simply being the author of your own story.

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Moving Away From Something Or Moving Right Towards It

Now in every course of an action, we’re either moving towards something or away from something. And most often this is unconscious. We’re either moving away from something that scares us or we’re moving away from fear or we’re moving away from something that hurts us, and hopefully, we’re moving toward something that empowers us and makes us better people.

Now, this isn’t always the case, of course, and that’s why we want to make a conscious decision of how we do that. If you’re looking at this … this is a perfect time because we’re coming to the end of 2017, moving into 2018 … what are some things that you want to move towards and some things that you want to move away from?

Now, I like to do this in my five to thrive, although this morning when I got up early in the morning, I went right to my whiteboard and just started writing, because it’s the first thing that came to my mind, and I just wanted to do a dump.

For me, some of the things that I want to move away from, move away from more often, are alcohol, consumption of sugar, processed foods, junk TV, hiding out and playing small. And if you’re watching this right now, you can see some of these on the whiteboard, along with some of my other scribbles. Often I come to my office and just start writing. It’s a six-foot whiteboard, sits behind me, makes it easy. And then things I want to move towards personally. I want to move towards daily exercise. Move more towards promoting myself and the things that I know that can help other people. More towards hunting big game. I’m talking about my businesses. Going after larger clients rather than what I would call medium size clients. Also, I want to go after more of my goals. Obviously a general term, but I have a whole list of goals. In fact, right in front of me, in my office right now, I have my goals for quarter one of 2018, as well as my mantra, epic growth, and adventure.

Now, I also have king written down and movement. Now king is something that came out of the jungles of Colombia and it’s a whole long conversation that I’m happy to share with you in person if we get a chance to meet.

But what I want you to do is grab your journal. Write out your five to thrive, and write areas in each of your five to thrive on things that you want to move away from, as well as things you want to move towards. If you want to move away from something … let’s say you smoke for example … if you want away from smoking, then what are you going to replace that with? What good habit are you going to move towards? That’s the easiest way to break a bad habit, is by actually just adding a good one. You only have so much time and so much brain power that if you add something that’s positively affecting you, you have to give something up, and hopefully, that’s that bad habit.

But we want to do this again consciously. It may be in the area of relationships. Maybe you want to move away for dating jerks and you move more towards a solid committed relationship. And that could be something different for you.

What I want you to consider is the possibility that at any given moment, we are moving either away from or towards something. And now, I want you to have the driver’s seat. I want you to step up and take control of your own life, so you can write your own story. It’s often said … and that’s why we came up with the author of your own story concept … that if you don’t write your own story, well, gee, somebody else will write it for you. And I want you to live with purpose, I want you to live with passion and I want you to live fully.

It starts with making conscious decisions, just like this one. Remember, listening to this is great, but it doesn’t do anything if you don’t do the work. I also recommend sharing this with somebody you love. In fact, if you can, share this with at least three people, and what that does is it allows you to constantly be in a conversation, constantly be in the conversation of personal development, growth and becoming the author of your own story.

Now, of course, we’re opening The Author of Your Own Story University Backup in February of 2018. Make sure you get on that list. If you like having conversations like this, but also at a deeper level, where we dive in exactly what it means to be moving away versus moving towards, and the intricacies, and actually help you laser focus to make sure you’re concentrating on the right things.

Oftentimes it’s said you can’t see the forest from the trees. That’s the same thing I find with coaching. Now the Author of Your Own Story University has got coaching at a group level. So we’re able to look at the macro here and really help you, by yourself, become your own coach, and dial it in with a systematic process.

Make sure you get over there right now and get on that waiting list. There’s no requirement. Just get on the waiting list and you can make the choice of your own, of what you want to move towards or away from in 2018. Also, make sure you go over to authorofyourownstory.com and get on the newsletter. Very important you do that so you can stay up to date with what we’re doing over here at Author of Your Own Story, as well as the growing community.

That’s it for me today. As always, go out and inspire someone simply by being the author of your own story.

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Revisit: You Haven’t Proven Yourself Yet

So, what do I mean by you haven’t proven yourself yet? Well, I’m talking to a specific segment of us, and I include myself in that segment. If you are constantly bettering yourself, you also are constantly changing. This is especially true if personal development or business development or just growth in general is newer to you. That means not just new that you just are first learning about it, but you’re really actually diving in.

If you’ve been listening to these Daily Growth Hacks, we’ve done over 50 of them now, and if you’ve been actually putting into action the Call to Action at the end of each of them, you have changed your life dramatically, I can guarantee that.

What happens? I’m going to tell you a story first and then I’ll come back and relate that back. I had a client of mine who I’d been working with for about three months at this time, and he called me up and he was having a problem. He said, “Doug, my daughter, she is visiting and she is such a pain. She’s driving me nuts. She’s super mean to me, she’s picking on me, she’s being rude, and she’s just being disrespectful.”

When I started working with this man, he wasn’t in his prime, admittedly so. Obviously, somebody that seeks a coach wants to get better. After we started coaching together, he started doing deeper dives. He was reading books, listening to audios, watching videos, journaling daily, doing his 90-day game. He had taken a complete 180 from the man that I met before, and it was amazing to see.

Obviously, he’s excited. He’s grasped this new life, he’s going after what previously he thought was impossible to have. He was becoming the author of his own story, and he was vibrant with energy. As a coach, nothing warms my heart more than to see that, but what happened is, his daughter was living with his baby’s mom, came to visit him. She’s about eight years old.

She comes to visit him, and now he’s this changed man. Now he wants to spend time with her, where before maybe he didn’t. He would pawn her off to somebody else. He would be disrespectful to her and to his girlfriend in front of her. He would be mean, rude, and frankly childish, in my opinion. What he did is he was now being loving, he was being honest, open, and telling her, “Hey, things have changed, I’ve changed. I’ve seen the error in my ways, and I love you.”

Of course, as anybody would do, especially an eight-year-old, she rejected it. She pushed back. I don’t believe this. She wasn’t saying this out loud, but you could tell this was going on internally. I know this only because I’ve been through this myself, and you can’t expect this eight-year-old, or anybody, this goes to your spouse too, to all of a sudden expect you to change, just because you have.

You haven’t proven yourself yet. You haven’t proven the change. It’s easy to make a change. For a lot of people listening to this you’re thinking, “Jeez, it’s hard. I’m having a hard time making a change myself,” and it might be, and I get that, and I’m with you, but the change part is actually the easy part. The hard part is keeping it up. This is just like a workout program or a diet if you’ve been on one before. Easy to start, hard to continue.

It’s only hard to continue because you give up on yourself. Your former self, the other part of you, your thermostat set so low that you actually self-destruct. You self-sabotage unless you’re staying on top of it, and that’s where this 90-day game I came up with comes in so handy because you’re able to stay on top of it day to day.

Back to his daughter: his daughter was simply saying, giving her dad a hard time, I don’t trust you. She had to push back, she had to challenge, she had to test him to make sure that he was doing the right things, and he was calling me and saying, “Doug, I need help. I don’t know what’s going on, this is ridiculous. Maybe this isn’t working.”

I just simply told him, “Look, you haven’t proven yourself. You haven’t proven yourself to be a man. You haven’t proven yourself to be a father yet.” We had a heart to heart and, frankly, a very tough conversation where I had to be real and honest with him and it hit him and he thanked me for that conversation. One week later I get a picture from him and he is backpacking in the backcountry and sends me a picture of he and his daughter laughing and having a great time.

What I told him to do is just love her even more. Just do ten times the love, ten times the compliments, ten times the man that you know you are, show it to her. Don’t just say it, and every time she tests you, know that she’s just crying for love. She’s crying to make sure that you are this new person that you claim to be because she wants this, she needs this.

She’s an eight-year-old little girl, but how often does this happen in other relationships in our lives? With your spouse. I can tell you specifically from my standpoint, this has happened between my wife and I, where I would change and she would test me and I would break down and get mad at her and yell at her, “Why don’t you believe me? I’ve made a change! I’m changing! I’m a better person!”

I would get all angry and upset, realizing actually, you know what, I hadn’t changed at all. Really I got triggered and I just blew up and I got upset right away, because how dare she test me and not believe me. But really, if I’m being the man that I claim to be, I would just roll with it and realize she was testing me because I’m solid in who I am.

I’ve done a lot of work and I’ve gotten there, and I hope you have too, and if you haven’t and you’re on your journey, just remember: when you’re strong within yourself and you’re changing, remember the people around you are going to have to wait to see those results. You can’t just change and expect people to take away that 20 years of being the jerk or the 20 years of being the liar or the 20 years of being lazy or the 20 years of being the person who’s always the comedian making fun of people, whatever it may be for you. You can’t just expect them to change overnight because you’ve made the change.

In your relationships, in your marriage, if you’ve been a jerk for ten years and now you’ve seen the light and you want to be the true king or maybe a queen in your relationship, you can’t expect that change to happen in a month, two months, maybe not even in a couple years, but if you’re solidified in being that person, if you really make that change, that’s not going to be a problem for you. You’re going to carry through. You’re going to be the change and show the result. Actions speak louder than words every time. Words are important, but actions always speak louder than words.

So I ask you today: in your Five to Thrive, where have you made a change and are getting pushback from somebody else, and realizing really what they’re saying is, “Show me. Show me that change consistently,” and where are you breaking down? Patch those holes up. Patch them up and realize the more solidified you get in who you are as a human, the more solidified you get on your story, how you’re being the author of your own story, the easier it becomes.

Stand in your own power. Stand in who you are, and everybody else will see it and you will shine, and if they don’t see it, it won’t matter. That’s the beauty of this. It won’t matter at all because you’re just being you. Is this the new you? Maybe. Maybe it’s really just the old you and you’ve just taken away all the crap. Stand in your power and be you and show them. Walk the walk and show them. Show them how they can become the author of their own story. You get the chance to be the inspiration. There’s nothing better. You can not only better your life, but you can better the lives of those around you.

Today my Call to Action is multi-faceted. I do want you to journal as always, I want you to break down your Five to Thrive and see where you may be breaking down and where you can actually walk the walk a little stronger, and show other people and lead with love. But also, I’m going to give you to the opportunity, or I want you take the opportunity, because I know it’s going to fulfill you: share the Daily Growth Hacks with five people you love. That’s my challenge for you. Share them with five people that you love, get them on the path.

This is going to start conversations with people that you love and people around you that matter. Conversations where you’re building your own tribe. You can talk about the same things, just like this Daily Growth Hack. Imagine if you had five close friends that were listening to this right now. You could go out and get coffee, go for a run, get a beer, whatever, and have a deep conversation about this and grow together.

Be a leader, build your tribe, and remember, as always: be the author of your own story.

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Challenge Your Assumptions

I was speaking to a business owner just this morning, and we were talking about the trials and tribulations of being a business owner, and I wanted to hear his take on it. What he was telling me was like, “Doug, in our market, it’s too difficult to get new customers.” See, he was a local business owner, and what he was telling me was in his town, which happens to be Bend, Oregon, it was different. The trials and tribulations that he was facing are different than everybody else throughout the country.

Now, ironically, the night before I was talking to a business owner in Santa Barbara, California who told me the exact same thing. They said, “Doug, you know, in Santa Barbara, it’s so competitive and it’s expensive, and our dollar per square foot, and our triple net, and all of these issues that business owners face.” They were just too hard in Santa Barbara and would be easier anywhere else, had they shut down their business and start somewhere else.

Same conversation with Ben. And then of course three days before that, I had a conversation with somebody in Boston who told me the exact same thing. So, what I told each of them is what I’m gonna tell you, and we’ll relate this, is challenge your assumptions, right? They assume that the challenges they were facing, the obstacles, the hurdles, or the problems they were facing, were unique to them because of their geographical area. When I explained to each of them that it possibly, or the possibility that it wasn’t, I said, “Hey, consider the possibility it’s not your local market, and it’s just the way that you’re marketing, or it’s the way that you’re running your business.” Once they actually took on this possibility, they accepted it, and we talked about ways that it could be the same versus actually being as unique as they thought. It really opened their eyes. You could see the sparkle kind of regain its strength within their eyes and their passion come back in.

They had used this assumption, this excuse, that it was the local market that was the problem and not them as business owners. They weren’t looking at their digital landscape, they weren’t looking at their offline marketing. They weren’t looking at were they or weren’t they innovating products and services for that matter.

Now, when you think about assumptions, these come up in all the areas when I’m coaching somebody. Now, whether I’m coaching a high-level business owner, an executive, or somebody else, these assumptions just come out. The lenses through which we see the world.

So, what I want you to do is challenge your assumptions today. You know, we’re coming up to the end of the year. What assumptions have you held on? What I recommend doing is grabbing your journal, write out your five to thrive. Your mind, your body, your soul, your relationships, and your business, and write down your assumptions. Just be open, honest with yourself. What assumptions are you making in those categories? Are you assuming that you can never play sports again? Are you assuming that because of your age, you’ll never be able to run a 5K? Are you assuming that because of your age, you can’t lose weight, or because of your job, or whatever? What are these assumptions that you’re making in your body? In your mind?

I’ve talked about it before. I have a client that I’ve worked with who told me, “Doug, I just can’t learn. I can’t read.” He made these assumptions that it was just easier for everybody else, and that reading wasn’t something you could just learn as you got older. Not true at all.

Then relationships. Don’t we make assumptions about our partners, and about our friends, and business associates all the time? Not realizing that people change over time, and maybe our assumptions are just plain wrong.

So, what about business, right? We make assumptions, as I told you, these three separate business owners that are all focusing on local markets were all complaining about the same thing, except for they were saying, “I assume it’s my local market, and everywhere else is gonna be so much easier.” Not true at all.

So, where are you making those assumptions? Where am I? So, I want you to consider the possibility that we make these assumptions in every area of our life, and just try that on for a second. See how that feels. Then once you discover these assumptions, you can actually just smile and laugh at them, and write new facts about your life. New possibilities that you can live into.

That’s it for me today. If you like these conversations and what to go much deeper, remember, we are opening up the Author of Your Own Story University again February 1st. Make sure you get on that waitlist. It’s only open to the first 100 new enrollees. I want to make sure you have a seat right in there. Also, go to authorofyourownstory.com, get on our newsletter so you can get the tips, tricks and techniques delivered right to your inbox each and every day so you can just keep up with what’s going on in the Author of Your Own Story community and what we’re up to. But also gives you just another chance, just another way of up leveling your life.

And of course as always, what I want you to do is go out and inspire someone simply by being the author of your own story. There are more people watching you and paying attention to what you’re doing than you know, and you could be the example. You could be the catalyst for their change and their growth.

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Are You Tracking The Right Numbers?

Just yesterday I was having coffee with an entrepreneur and very successful business person. This person happened to be a chiropractor who had been in the practice for over 40 years. He developed several new technologies and had best selling books. But he moved his business entirely online. And when talking to him about his solution, he happened to have a solution for headaches and migraines that had been proven over years to get people permanent relief from this problem.

And so obviously I thought, wow, his sales must be through the roof. And I was talking to him and he said, you know actually I don’t get very many sales. I developed these funnels and all of these systems and done online marketing and hired agencies. And so I asked him, hey, what are your sales? And he couldn’t give me a solid answer. When I asked him why he said, you know what Doug, the agency that I was working with, they happened to be in the UK and they told me to really track my Facebook numbers. And I thought that was interesting, so well why your Facebook numbers? And, well, first of all, he didn’t know. They were running Facebook advertisements and I thought about it and I asked him another question. I said, well what’s your website traffic? How many people are coming in asking for a solution to the problem? Again, he didn’t know. He didn’t have a dashboard by which to run his business and to look at this.

Now, a long time ago I took a course by a guy named Keith Cunningham. And that’s where I learned to make sure that me and my business, I had a dashboard for my finances. Fast forward, now I have a dashboard for all areas of my business. My digital dashboard is what applies for this gentleman and it’s something that our agency at Branded Innovation and Fitness Marketing Alliance, we actually provide a solution for that where it’s a complete dashboard you can look at your numbers.

And for this gentleman when I was talking to him about that, I could see the frustration on his face. You see, he felt like he was beating his head against the wall. He was an expert in his field, but yet he wasn’t getting the awareness in the actual sales ultimately is what he wanted. He wanted to make an impact. He not only wanted the money and yeah, he wanted revenue and he wanted to make some more money. But he also really, really wanted to change the way people felt. He wanted to help headache and migraine sufferers around the world and he had a solution, a solution he told me is proven year after year after year to work. Satisfied customers. He would even give people their money back if it didn’t work for them. He said there’s just no problem, but yet he couldn’t actually track what was going on.

See what was happening is he was following the wrong numbers in his business. Now, this happens to a lot of us right? So I’m wondering, is there a possibility, suppose that maybe there’s a possibility that you might be tracking the wrong numbers. Suppose I’m tracking the wrong numbers. Tracking the wrong numbers in my mind, in my body. You know often times we look at people that come to the fitness world and they want to track their physical weight. But if you start working out, lifting weights, your weight might fluctuate in fact it might go up. If you start hydrating well, eating better foods and lifting weights, temporarily your weight might come up because you’re hydrating yourself. You might be gaining lean body mass and losing body fat. Scale weight is the wrong measurement. You know, I see this time and time again.

Also in your business, what are the metrics that you’re measuring? What are your KPIs or your key performance indicators? Maybe it’s your relationships. You know in previous daily growth hacks, I’ve shared with you that my wife and I often ask each other, how fulfilled are you in the relationship today, in this moment. Just so I know and give each other constant feedback. Making sure you have the right numbers to monitor and you’re actually monitoring these numbers correctly is the key to making sure you’re moving forward and progressing. This is the way you go to the author of your own story path.

So, in this particular daily growth hack what I want you to do is grab your journal, write out your five to thrive and look in each of those categories and look yourself, are you tracking the right numbers? And if you’re not sure, get help. You know if you need help in your business, get somebody who can make a financial dashboard for you. If it’s marketing, reach out to us, we can help you with a digital dashboard. If it’s an area in your relationships, make a comment in the author of your own story group and somebody will share a relationship dashboard that we’ve developed. Let us know how we can help you.

But the key here is making sure your tracking the right numbers. You see I don’t want you to be having coffee with somebody, looking across from them and realizing that you’re not achieving your goals because you’re really tracking the wrong numbers and going down the wrong path. And maybe you’ve been doing it for years. Let’s shorten that gap, let’s bridge that gap today and help you start going on a fast track to the author of your own story lifestyle.

As always, go over to authorofyourownstory.com, where you can get the latest tips, tricks and techniques delivered right to your inbox. Also if you haven’t already, and you enjoy growth, growth in your personal life, in your business life, go over to authorofyourownstory.com and get on the waitlist for the Author of Your Own Story University that we’re re-releasing February 2018. I want to make sure you have an opportunity to get there, it’s jam-packed with information. We’ve taken information from the best sources around the world and condensed those into a systematic approach where you actually get homework and exercises. You get to play with these concepts on a much bigger scale. And of course as always, what I want you to do is go out and inspire someone simply by being the author of your own story.

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Problems Vs. Opportunities

Here I am in my home office and I was actually just talking to an entrepreneur and we were talking about problems that he’s seeing in his business. He has an MBA and a very analytical mind and is a fantastic business person, in most cases.

He’s seeing these problems that are coming up, problems in his marketplace and problems that I see, frankly, as opportunities. What I had him do is rephrase his problems as opportunities. I said, “What would it be like if, instead if you took the word out, problem, in this particular sentence or scenario as the case may be, and you actually looked at this as an opportunity, an opportunity for growth, an opportunity for your business?” At first, it took him a little bit of time but I had him rewrite those sentences as they would be opportunities and I made him be his own sales person. He had to sell this to himself, as an opportunity.

Now, going through this, we identified the five biggest problems in his marketplace, in his business, and then changed those into opportunities. Suddenly, you just saw a light bulb click in. He said, “Doug, in business school, they teach us how to solve problems. We go right after the problems each and every time but we don’t learn how to look at these as opportunities.” At the end of our conversation, he had five new marketing tactics and five new innovations within his business and what he told me is, he hasn’t had that much innovation in his company in the past decade.

Right here in one phone call, just simply switching problems to opportunities. Now, of course, I had to ask him as I’m going to ask you, where else in relationships, in your mind, in your body, in your soul, are you identifying problems and not seeing them as opportunities? He turned to me and thought for a second and I could see him be a video and he said, “Gosh, that’s interesting. I actually have problems, definitely, in my relationships with my kids and I guess sometimes, with my wife if I think about it correctly and then, oh wow, in my body, I have these problems that I’ve identified where I’m not as good.” He’s a triathlete and not as good in these particular areas.

I asked him, “Where in those areas, can you find opportunities?” He repeated this exact same exercise we did with his business where he took those problems, wrote them out, each of his five to thrive, and then after writing them out, he actually wrote them out as opportunities. Now, he had to put on a salesman’s hat as if he was selling this opportunity because you have to look at that from a slightly different lens. It’s easier for somebody to see it inside of you then it is for you sometimes because you’re so stuck in the weeds.

By writing that as opportunities, you could actually literally see, I’m coaching him via video, you could see light bulbs just flickering in his head and a smile come on his face. Like a Cheshire Cat, he was smiling at this new opportunity that he was all of a sudden seeing. He was seeing opportunities with his children, ways to connect with them that he hadn’t previously thought of. He thought his relationship was dying with his children and with his wife. What he discovered was, the problems that they were having in their marriage were opportunities for him to be a better man and by being a better man, he knew right away, that was going to affect the bottom line in his business, and his relationships as a whole, as well as his fitness.

It all correlates. Your five to thrive were carefully selected. We’ve narrowed it down to five because it’s a holistic representation of you and your life in your path to being the author of your own story. Now, when you have these problems and these problems arise … and I use the word problem often and language does matter and I’m a big fan of that but when you do have actual problems, things that you’re trying to go through, you’re pulling your hair trying to figure that out, look at these as opportunities. Look at these as ways to sell yourself.

In the marketplace, when I used to be a gym owner, what I looked at was problems, problems with fitness coming into our market share, problems that other gym owners, other personal training studios were complaining about and going out of business. I looked at these as opportunities, market opportunities for me to capitalize on. By doing that, I was able to grow my business further than I ever thought I would be able to. That was a long time ago. I do this with my marketing agencies, with businesses that I consult with, with my coaching clients.

I look at the problems we face as opportunities for growth at the very least. What other opportunities can you find within your five to thrive? Of course, what I want you to do is what I always want you to do, I want you to write down your five to thrive and look at each of those categories’ problems that you had. What have you been complaining about in your mind, in your body? What are problems that you’re facing? Now look at these as opportunities, what can you find? What are the diamonds in the rough, the nuggets that you can pull out of that?

Now obviously, my coaching clients are all business owners so it’s easy for me to go directly right to business. They’re very logical people and they go right there. If you’re one of those people, list your top five problems in your business right now. Five problems in your marketplace. Five things that you’re facing. Maybe it’s employees. Maybe it’s HR. Maybe it’s marketing. Maybe it’s sales. Maybe it’s development. Maybe it’s innovation. I’m not sure. What are your five top problems you’re facing?

Now, how can you turn those problems into opportunities? Opportunities for growth, opportunities for development, opportunities for innovation. Where can you find these within your problems and turn them into opportunities, which then turns them into possibilities and that just gives you that expansion? That allows you to write a new chapter in your life, in each category so you can become the author of your own story.

As always, I want you to do, go over to authorofyourownstory.com, get on our newsletter. That’s a no-brainer. If you’re not on that, you’re missing out. You’re missing out on insight, tips, tricks, and techniques right to your inbox each and every day, along with these daily growth hacks. Also, if you like growth, if you enjoy the opportunity in growth, go over to authorofyourownstory.com and get on the waitlist for the university. We’re reopening it up in February for new members.

This is where I take the culmination of all the knowledge that I’ve learned in the past and I’m continuing to learn. The courses, the coaches, and I’m boiling this down to a systematic process just for you. This way, you don’t have to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on coaches and courses. You can get it right here in a university setting where we actually go over, just like this, where we’re talking about these subject matters but on a deeper level.

These conversations no longer become five-minute conversations, they become 20 to 50-minute conversations where we can deep dive. We give you homework, worksheets. It is the best program that I could possibly come up with and I think you’re really going to like it. I would go over there right now and get on that waitlist. If you’ve been on the waitlist in the past and you weren’t able to get in, let us know. You have to resign-up, I’m sorry but you have to re-get on that wait list for this session. Also, always know, you could always go out and inspire someone else just by simply being the author of your own story.

I can’t tell you how many emails and messages I get from you listening to this that are on your own path, you’re forging your own way and your life and I’m so proud of you and how many people you are inspiring as they look at you going towards the author of your own story lifestyle. I’m so proud of you. Keep it up. Keep inspiring people. This is how we change the world. That’s it for me today. I’ll see you tomorrow. Have an amazing day.

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Solve The Right Problem

So as the story goes, the musician stormed out of the recording studio yelling at the producer and saying, “I’m not coming back until you fix the problem!” Now the musician was complaining about the acoustics in the studio. He was just tired, there was a reverberation and an echo in there that just wasn’t giving purity to his sound. He came back a week later. Now, this was an important musician, and to the producer, this was a chance for him to make or break his career. The musician came back in, he sat down and he started to play and noticed the acoustics were still horrible. And he said, “I thought I told you to fix the problem?” And in response, the producer said, “I did. I actually changed the lights and painted the walls.”

Now you see, how often in times are we the producer, really trying to fix the wrong problem? And as high achievers, how often are we actually fixing the wrong problem, strictly to avoid doing something we feel uncomfortable about? Now this could be having an uncomfortable conversation with a client in your business, or maybe it’s a relationship, or just simply not getting clarity, not asking the right questions. Or maybe this is the area of your body. Maybe you’re really focused on losing weight, but you’re focused on the micronutrients, the vitamins, and minerals that you’re putting in the supplementation. Forgetting that supplements are a supplement to a solid diet and exercise routine, not the other way around.

Again, or maybe it’s in your marriage. Maybe you and your husband or your wife, are constantly battling, but you’re battling about the separate issues, right? Maybe that you’re, maybe your wife’s complaining that you’re working too much, and what you see that as a complaint that you’re actually not taking out the trash, or vice versa. Whatever it is, how often are we actually fixing the wrong problem and not getting actual clarity?

So one thing you can do right now is to grab your journal, write out your five to thrive. Right there, your mind, body, soul, relationships, and business, and focus and write down a problem that you’re actually working on right now. Something you’re trying to solve. If you’re like me and like most of the people I work with, you’re constantly solving problems and looking at up levelling your life, and coming up with better solutions. Now if you’re working on that, make sure, are you actually solving the right problem, the right equation?

Now I see this happen the most in the area of relationships when I’m working with clients. Oftentimes, I only work with men right now, not because of any particular reason, but just seems that men contact me and are looking for coaching, and so when I’m working with a man, oftentimes he’s having problems in one or two areas. One it’s in his marriage, or two, it’s actually in finding the right woman. Now you can flip this script and go any other relationship style that you’re into. But in this particular case, oftentimes what I’m seeing is a misconnection in that communication. So for example, if one of my clients, he and his wife are having, were having major issues. And the problem was, is he was trying to solve a problem at one level, while she was complaining about something in a totally different level and they were completely missing each other.

And so what I had them do was simply sit down, ask questions and listen. I said, “Look, this is not a time for you to talk. The only thing you can do is get more and more clarity. Ask what else. What else? Make me understand a little bit more.” After that conversation with his wife, he had clarity. He was trying to solve a problem that didn’t matter to her. She was complaining about something completely different. Now once they were able to get on the same page, he said, “Geez I’m happy to do that for you babe. I love you. I would love to spend more quality time with you.” And what he was doing was spending quantity time, not quality time, and to him, he didn’t see the difference in that. But to his wife it was huge. And it’s changed their marriage. They’ve done a complete 180 and are so close together. Simply because he was now, he now had clarity, he could solve the correct problem.

Now I see this with business owners all the time. You know, in the area of their marketing. I own two marketing agencies, so I’m often in other business owner’s sandboxes playing and looking behind the curtain to see how their marketing is doing. And oftentimes I see them solving the wrong problem. They’re advertising and communicating their marketing message in the wrong areas, to the wrong people, and they’re wondering why it’s not working. Now if they just got clarity and solved the right problem, it comes with flow and ease, and they’re able to build their businesses so much easier, reduce their stress and stop spinning their wheels.

Now you could see this in all areas of your five to thrive. It gives you a holistic representation of what’s going on in your life, and that’s why we use it. So today I want you to grab your journal as I said, write out that five to thrive, and see where you need to be asking better questions. Are you solving the right problems in your five to thrive? Now I know a lot of you think, “Ah, there are no problems, they’re just opportunities for improvement.” And that’s great, but are you solving the right opportunities? Are you going down the right path that allows you truly to be the author of your own story, rather than actually reading into somebody else’s story about you? That’s what I want for you as that clarity.

Now if you’re interested in diving much deeper into this, go over to authorofyourownstory.com and get on our wait list for February’s group of Author Of Your Own Story University. We do lots of coaching on this subject and deep dives that give you laser-like focus, right into what you want to do. And of course, if you’re looking for private coaching you can reach out about that and find out what those opportunities look like as well.

But before you do anything else, what I want you to do is make sure you’re on the mailing list at authorofyourownstory.com, so you can get other news, events, tips, tricks delivered right to your inbox each and every day. That’s it for me today. As always, go out and inspire someone simply by being the author of your own story. I’ll see you tomorrow.

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Enjoy The Silence

Now, a year ago, almost a year ago this month, I enjoyed a 12-day silent meditation retreat. It was advertised as 10 days, but as it turns out, it certainly wasn’t. It was actually 12. When I say silent, I’m not just talking about people sitting down not talking to each other.

There was actually a way of what’s called noble silence. What this was is, we got to the retreat center and after you went through the orientation, you were not only no longer allowed to speak to somebody, but you weren’t actually going to communicate in any way. There were no hand gestures, no eye contact, nothing along those lines. In fact, you couldn’t even escort someone or open the door for them. The idea is that you were to be in this environment as if you were a monk, alone. Really an interesting concept. So, that also meant no cell phones, no audio, no music, no books, no paper, no journal, nothing, just you and your thoughts.

What happened was is, you’d get up around four in the morning and you would meditate. You would meditate in this zen-like state, and they teach you through this, until 8 pm at night, and then you’d go through a little bit of a course in a group meditation and you would retire at 10 pm, and it would be lights out. You repeat this over and over again.

Obviously, you’re living a very spartan lifestyle. There are cots. There are bunks where you’re in the room with other men, at least men and women are separated, so in my case, I’m in this bunkhouse if you can imagine with other men. It’s cold and it’s dreary and of course, you’re getting up early and you’re staying up late, and all you’re doing is meditating. Even in this group setting, you can’t look at each other, talk, or communicate in any way. You can’t say, “Oh, I’m sorry I left my shoes by your door,” or “I tracked in dirt,” or “I’m sorry I bumped into you.” Those types of communications just don’t happen.

What I learned from this was the ability to enjoy the silence. I learned that I actually like myself. In fact, I love myself. Now, sure, we all think this, right? But how often are you actually spending time with yourself? How often are you actually spending time with you, getting to know your inner thoughts and who you really are? I thought I had this all done until I actually did the silent meditation retreat.

The one I chose to do is called Vipassana. It’s actually free. It’s based on donations. You can do it all over the world. In fact, I highly recommend it for some people. I don’t recommend it for everybody, but what I do recommend is taking time out in silence. So, here’s what my offer is to you, or my thought and what I hope that you’ll practice yourself. Schedule a day, a day in your calendar where you have nothing but noble silence. That means you’re not reading. You’re not journaling. You’re not exercising or running around or backpacking in the woods. You’re simply sitting in silence. No communication, not with anybody else but completely you, from the moment you wake up until the moment you go to bed, zero silence.

Put your cell phone away. Let everybody know that you’re doing this, your family, those that depend on you. Let them know that you are taking one day to yourself for noble silence. I think you’re going to get a lot out of this. During this noble silence, of course, you can practice the meditation of your choice, and that’s what I’d recommend. You could also come up with a mantra or maybe there’s a big life question that you’re pondering, and just think about it.

Obviously, in the meditative state, depending on what you’re doing, you’re going to have time, but your subconscious mind is going to be working all the time to answer this question or to help you out with thoughts. Ten days or twelve days, big difference from one, but all I’m going to ask you is just to take one day. Out of the 365 days that you’re given this year, one day to sit in noble silence and be with yourself.

After you do it, the next day, that’s when you journal and that’s when the magic happens. New ideas come out. It’s a new refreshing way to see the world and I highly recommend it to you. In fact, one of our Author of Your Story regular listeners, David Ratchford, is going to his third Vipassana right here this week, and we’re very proud of him. So, David, good luck. Have a great time. It’s definitely a tough experience. If you haven’t done it, like I said, I don’t recommend it for everybody, because it is very difficult.

In fact, there was one person that was in my group that said it was the most difficult thing he did. In fact, he was in solitary confinement, in prison, for a month, and he said he’d rather do that than do this again. That’s how tough it is because you’re in your own thoughts, you’re in your own head, there’s so much to be let loose of the motions but you can’t do it and you can’t exercise. But if you’re looking for a challenge, and a way to better understand yourself, Vipassana or another silent meditation retreat might be good for you. For right now, for those Author of Your Own Story listeners, I’m just going to challenge you to take one day, one day of noble silence and see what comes from you.

That’s it for me today. As always, if you want tips, tricks, and techniques delivered right to your Inbox, go to authorofyourownstory.com. And we’re opening up a second segment of the Author of Your Own Story University, starting February 1st. Make sure you get on that wait list because, like last time, it fills up quickly, and I want you to get a seat. At the Author of Your Own Story University, we take this culmination of knowledge and put it into a systematic format so you can learn, learn from the experiences of others, and learn as we continue to grow. We’re always reading books, hiring coaches, and continuing to grow, and we’d like to pass that knowledge off to you in a way that you can really digest and at an extremely low price point for you. So, go ahead and get on that right away. If you’re somebody looking at taking your game to the next level, in 2018 and beyond.

That’s it for me today. Go out and inspire someone by being the Author of Your Own Story.

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Trust Your Gut

Now this is going to be a short tip and what I’m going to talk about is something that took me a long time to learn and that’s trusting my gut or my instincts or those hunches that we have throughout life.

You see, over the course of a day or a year, 24/7 your subconscious mind is taking in information, experiences that you’re having, things that you’re seeing, listening to, whatever it may be, your subconscious mind is always working and what it does is it takes this information combined with a motion and gives you those gut feelings or those hunches. This is why often times when you meet somebody, especially in a business decision or a romantic relationship, you kind of get that gut feeling, do I really trust this person? Or wow this person is just honest and they’re straightforward. You kind of get a hunch.

What I’ve learned over the years is really to rely on those because that’s a culmination of my experiences really screaming at me and often times in a business situation when I’ve ignored those hunches, I’ve actually gotten screwed over. I’ve gotten cheated and I’ve had people steal from me, and I knew all along and I had that gut feeling that this person was lacking integrity or was kind of a sleazy person altogether. Now I’ve learned that in my personal relationships as well as my business, to really follow my gut feeling.

What I want to ask you today is where in your five to thrive are you not following your hunches, your gut feeling? Then I want you to go for it. What would it be like if you were to actually take those steps? Maybe you have a gut feeling or a hunch or you should just be doing something different in your mind, body, soul, relationships, or your business. Now I’ve learned to trust my gut, especially around people and especially when it comes to business, and I hope those two things help you.

I’d love to hear what you get out of these. What do you get out of just taking five, ten minutes to really think about a problem or something going on in your life and then just trusting your gut? What does it feel like? What are you actually pulling out there? Then share that with me. I’d love to hear what you have. That’s it for me today, it’s just a quick one for you. As always, go out and inspire someone else by being the author of your own story.

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Persistence

This morning I was talking to a business owner, and during the conversation, he was telling me a story about a sales call that he had. Now, what he didn’t know if I actually knew the person that he was called upon, yet they were on two different continents in the world. I actually knew both of them, which was really fabulous. So I was listening to his story, and what he told me was the actual conversation just fell flat. Now, he was saying, “Doug, we’re having the conversation, and it absolutely just fell flat and went nowhere.” So what did I do, of course?

I reached out to the other person and asked them their side of the story. I said, “Jeez, I didn’t know you guys knew each other. That’s fantastic.” I go, “He told me he reached out to you and was offering his services. What happened on your end?” He said, “Doug, actually, yeah, he reached out to me, just wasn’t a great time, and the conversation felt dead because of all of these things happening in my life.” Yeah, he was a business owner, but he was having relationship issues. When you’re having relationship issues, like a health issue, for example, it’s the same thing, you drop everything else around you. That’s why I speak to business owners just not about business tactics, but about everything going on in their life because it all applies. It’s very holistic. That’s exactly what was happening to him. He said, “Yeah, after that time I just kind of forgot about it and he never followed up. He never reached out again.

Now, we’re talking about big, high ticket sales here. This could have been a game changer for both parties. One, the first business owner that I spoke to, it would have been a game changer financially for him to take on this new high-level client that had a lot of revenue for his product and service. For the person I was speaking to that was being pitched, it would have helped him because he needed the product or service and actually ended up buying it later on from somebody else. These two, not knowing I was a conduit between them, missed each other because of lack of persistence. Well, it got me to thinking, right? After this conversation some laughter, and exchanging messages between the two of them, and really ribbing on both of them, giving both of them a hard time, I sat down and started wondering how often do I fall short? How often do I stop my persistence? How often do I stop really short of the finish line in all my five to thrive? I’m going to ask you to do the same thing. Grab your journal right now. Write out your five to thrive. Now, of course, if you’re driving or running right now, just think of your five to thrive, but I do want you to do the work because this is a game changer. These little tips actually help you uncover and peel back layers.

I wrote out my five to thrive, and I was like, “Geez, where in my mind have I given up on lack of persistence?” One of those things for me was learning Spanish. It’s something that’s been on my mind for years, and I committed to doing it this year and I have, however, I haven’t been persistent in pursuing it. I haven’t been persistent in pursuing it because of the excuses that I made. I thought that was interesting. Where else have I made these excuses or have I not been persistent? I started digging a little bit deeper, and as I drilled down, I noticed a trend in me. I did the same thing for my body. Where else have I not been persistent in working on my goals? Where else in my relationships? Oh, wow. I can look at my past and think of so many relationships where I haven’t been persistent in friendships, in dating, all these things, and I started to see trends. I did this with my soul. Frankly, I couldn’t find as many examples in the area of soul for myself, but you might be able to.

Then in business. Wow. Business was also eye-opening for me, and I thought about also my coaching clients, those high-level executives and business owners that I work with. Now, we’re talking about these business owners, they’re all making over $500,000 each year. That’s my average client take home, so when I think about them, I think about all the persistencies that they’ve lost, and the areas that come up for them most often are relationships and business. I can see trends with each and every one of them. I’m going to ask you to look at the trends in your life. Once you see the trends, you can pivot and make changes and make sure you’re not making those same mistakes two, three, four, five times. I want you to learn from my mistakes, but more importantly, I want you to learn from your own. That’s where you become your own coach. Knowing what’s going on and being able to pivot and turn in the direction you want to follow allows you to be the author of your own story rather than following somebody else’s script or a script you’ve created subconsciously over years in your own head.

I bet when you pull out your journal you’re going to see in your five to thrive some areas where you could be more persistent and maybe have backed off just a little bit too much. Maybe you haven’t pushed the envelope a little bit in the area of your business. Maybe it’s calling upon a potential customer. Maybe it’s calling an old customer back. Maybe it’s in a relationship. Maybe you haven’t been persistent with your spouse about spending quality time, about intimacy perhaps. Maybe you haven’t spent time with your kids because you have teenagers and they’re pushing you away. Maybe this is the time for you to be persistent. What about the area of your mind? Maybe you’re like me and you’ve been wanting to study a language and you’ve just given it up, or a book. An excuse one of my clients had, he had a story saying “I can’t read. I can’t read. I’ve just never been good at reading, Doug,” etc, etc. He now reads a book a week. He just hasn’t been persistent. When he actually put it into practice, became persistent, I’m talking dog-eared persistent, day to day, now he is a fluent reader and absolutely loves it. He is passionate about books and is always giving me book recommendations.

That’s what I want for you. That allows you to write your own script and be the author of your own story. I won’t harp on your anymore. That’s it for me today. I want you to peel back that onion and live life with passion. Go over to AuthorofYourOwnStory.com where you can get the latest tips, tricks, and techniques delivered right to your inbox each and every day so you don’t miss a thing. Also, as always, I want you to go out, inspire somebody else simply by being the author of your own story. I’ll see you tomorrow.

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« Older Entries

Next Entries »

Why Aren’t You A 10?

Moving Away From Something Or Moving Right Towards It

Revisit: You Haven’t Proven Yourself Yet

Challenge Your Assumptions

Are You Tracking The Right Numbers?

Problems Vs. Opportunities

Solve The Right Problem

Enjoy The Silence

Trust Your Gut

Persistence

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