What Was I Thinking?
How often have you heard that from somebody who makes a mistake, and they go, “What was I thinking?” Well, the truth is they weren’t thinking, and that’s why today’s tip is going to be short and right to the point.
Revisit: Pain Provides You 3 Choices
Pain is just part of life, we all go through pain. The pain of an event, a loss of a loved one, pain that is physical. Either way, pain provides us three ways to respond to it. I want you to do is think of these three ways and think about which one you actually fall into more often. And just be honest with yourself.
Where There’s Overwhelm, There’s Actually Fear
I am Doug Holt with Author of Your Own Story, and this is your daily growth hack where each day we bring you a tip, trick or technique to help you up-level what we call the five to thrive. That is your mind, your body, your soul, your relationships and of course, your business.
Just yesterday I was talking to another business owner. And they were telling me how overwhelmed they were. And they were looking for techniques or some kind of trick that I might have to help them get over overwhelmed.
You’ve Trained People to Overwhelm You
I’m going to talk about the topic of relationships and business because I got a series of messages from a frustrated and overwhelmed business owner. Now what they were frustrated about was the fact that I was calling them out on their BS. Now what I mean by that is, they were telling how overwhelmed they are, how they don’t have balance in their life.
Revisit: Do It For The Photo
Do it for the photo. Whatever it takes. Right now there’s somebody outside hiking. There’s somebody outside swimming with sharks. Why? Because they’re doing it for the Instagram photo.
Being Found Everywhere
Somebody from the Author of Your Own Story group on Facebook reached out to me and asked me what I thought was the most important thing for them building their own brand. Many of you have a business that you own, or are planning on launching a business, or looking at journeying out into the world in a whole nother way.
Pause For A Bit
I was talking to a business owner, not a coaching client of mine, but I was actually getting an ART session done. This is an Active Release Technique to actually help relieve the strain on your joints. I was having some shoulder issues from my workouts and past injuries that I’ve had. I was talking to this gentleman. What he was telling me was in the area of his relationship. He was actually telling me about his marriage. This is our first session, so he was just talking to me about it and he was very open and transparent, which I really enjoyed. One of the things he told me about was he was actually focused on what he should do. He’s like, “Doug, I just think about this all the time. What are my next steps? What are the things that I should be doing? I just can’t stop thinking about it. In fact, I think about it so much that actually, I’m not making sales call, I’m not calling customers back, I’m not marketing myself. It’s really going down from a spiral.”
When To Know To Make The Jump
I got an email just this morning from somebody that I’ve done lots of business within the past, and what I didn’t know was they actually had a full-time job, and their side hustle was what I was hiring them to do. Which is great. They’re a phenomenal worker. When they reached out to me, and two of their other mentors, and said, “Hey, look you guys, I would like to leave my current job, my full-time job that I have. It’s not fulfilling for me. I’d like to delve into the work that I’ve been working with you on.” And so, the work that I know that he was doing, and he made a list of all the things that he’d been working with all three of those. And kudos to him. He had three mentors, and I knew about the other two mentors, and I think it was really smart. He was building his foundation and gaining his knowledge. And he got to a point where he just had a ton of knowledge and was ready to apply. The problem was, he wasn’t sure when to make that jump.
What’s Your Normal?
This morning, a weekend day, I got up early and actually did a few things in my business. It’s something that I enjoy doing. Of course, I journaled and did my morning routine. But then I went to the gym, I went to the gym and took part in an exercise class, one that I’ve been going to for several months. Now, this was the first time that somebody else actually showed up to the exercise class. Apparently, on Saturday mornings, nobody shows.
Get Support
Now, you’ve read it before probably or at least you just know this intuitively but people that have large family networks close to them tend to recover from illness and injury much faster than those of us who have families spread out all over or just one or two people around.
The reason being is because when those people actually get sick or injured their family rushes in to support them and they recover so much faster. Now, it’s not just the fact their family’s doing things for them, although that is a key component. It’s actually having that emotional support as well as the physical support that allows them to rebound so much quicker. Now, how often do many of us actually need that support, especially for those of us that are business owners?
The Importance Of Picking A Lane
I know in the past in my business career and also my personal career, or my personal life I should say, I often drifted from one subject to another or from one area of interest to another. In business, this is probably the most profound because you saw the results of this drift in a negative way, the quickest. You would start down one lane, having an idea. Maybe it’s an idea for a business or a project or a certain demographic you want to go after in marketing, whatever it may be, and as you start on that path, you quickly lose interest and start going through something else.
The Common Issues in Relationships
I just left a client’s business right now where I sat down with him in one of his key employees. And they have been going back and forth on a job description and a role for this key employee for over six months. Now, I was privy to the email exchanges and a lot of the communication that they were having. What they asked me to do is come in today and sit down and help them assess the meeting and really come to a clear and concise decision on where they want to go.
Think Like A Kid
As the story goes, a high school teacher walked up to the chalkboard and put a dot right in the middle, then turned to her class and said, “What is this?” Well, one kid stood up right away and said, “Obviously, it’s just a chalk mark on a blackboard.” And there were no other responses. The teacher looked at the classroom, and she said, “I’m really surprised at you guys. I’m surprised because I did this exact same exercise, or this question, in front of a group of kindergartners, and they came up with 50 answers.” It’s a squashed bug, it’s a star in the night sky, the answers went over, and over, and over again as their imaginations flew. You know, Picasso said that all children are born artist, and it’s up to us to actually hold on to that imagination as we get older, right?
The Importance Of Clear Communication
When we talk about clear communication, what we’re talking about is looking at a communication style that nobody can argue with. In other words, it’s so crystal clear that the facts of the communication are indisputable. So in other words, what you’re trying to say lands on the person you’re trying to communicate with, with such clarity that there’s no misinterpretations or confusion. Now, where I’m seeing this, is when I talk to my clients. In fact, I was just editing a clients job description that he was turning in for one of his employees, and he asked me to review it. Now, when I looked at this job description, the sets of expectations that were there were very unclear. One of them was, “Maintain website and all aspects that have to do with that.” Well, what does that mean? This wasn’t a normal part of this job or this part of the job description, so I was unclear exactly what he wanted his staff to do.
Revisit: The 90-90-1 Rule
Now, this is a tip I got from Robin Sharma, now as leaders in our communities and leaders in business, we get hit by a barrage of information every day. You know right here, right now, I’m talking to you, I have three screens going. There’s information coming at us at all angles. We have chats going on, we have social media, we have messages from our friends and our family. And oftentimes, what happens if we lose focus.
How to Live Your Dreams?
Four days ago I had the honor of having a video conversation with a business owner, an entrepreneur. Now this conversation wasn’t as typical as I normally would have. See, I’ve known this person for a very long time, and two years ago they called me up on my phone and asked me for some basic business advice, which I gave to them happily, and I’m happy to do it for most people actually. Now, fast forward to today.
Take Advantage Of The Resources Around You
Today, I just walked back into the house because I just got back from a trip to Smith Rock, just outside of Bend, Oregon. Now, this is world famous for rock climbers, but the majestic beauty of this location is unparalleled. It’s one of the most beautiful places that I’ve been to, and I’ve traveled all over the world. And so the reason I bring this up to you is I was amazed at how few people that were there, and of the people that were there, there were a lot of people from around the world, but there weren’t a lot of Oregonians or local people or even people from the western United States.
Be Your Own Hero
In Joseph Campbell’s famous book The Power of Myth, he talks about the hero’s journey. So the hero’s journey is a formulaic model that every movie follows. We also use this model in marketing. In marketing a brand or business or even a person. Now, what typically happens is the hero is going about his or her daily life. And then tragedy or something happens. Then they meet a guide, a mentor, a coach of sorts. Now you can think of Yoda, Gandalf, some of the famous mentors that have been around throughout the movies. But then they find somebody, and then that mentor coach gives them enough guidance to help them climb back up the mountain towards success in their own life. And then next thing you know, the hero becomes the actual hero in the show or in the storyline that we’re listening to.
